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Muriel's Wedding Quotes

Muriel's Wedding is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Muriel's Wedding ended in 1970.

It features Lynda House as producer, Peter Best (composer) in charge of musical score, and Martin McGrath as head of cinematography.

Muriel's Wedding is recorded in English and originally aired in Australia. Each episode of Muriel's Wedding is 101 minutes long. Muriel's Wedding is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: Gabby Millgate as Joanie, Sophie Lee as Tania, Rachel Griffiths as Rhonda, Toni Collette as Muriel, Daniel Lapaine as David, Roz Hammond as Cheryl, Pippa Grandison as Nicole, Bill Hunter as Bill, Jeanie Drynan as Betty, Matt Day as Brice, Gennie Nevinson as Dierdre, and Belinda Jarrett as Janine.

Muriel's Wedding Quotes

Rachel Griffiths as Rhonda

  • (Bridal Manageress #2) "Now, now, now -- just a minute. You can't come in here and threaten brides. I don't care how unfortunate, you are."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "f*** off."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "You're right, you are a new person, and you stink. "Mariel VanArkle" stinks. And she's not half the person Muriel Heslop was."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "Goodbye, Porpoise Spit."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "How did I get it? I mean, it's nothing to do with too much sex, is it?"
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "I had cancer -- it's all right, they cut it out."
  • (Roz Hammond) "You were so full of life."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "I'm not DEAD, Cheryl."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "Cancer? Oh my God. I am gonna go bald and have to eat macrobiotic food."

Sophie Lee as Tania

  • (Sophie Lee) "Why don't you come have a drink with us?"
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "You want to have a drink with me?"
  • (Sophie Lee) "Well, yeah. We wouldn't want you to spend the entire holiday alone. It's not like in high school where you should feel your not good enough to talk to us."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "I don't."
  • (Sophie Lee) "If I feel you've changed, I'll tell you. I'm honest. Unlike some people, I tell it like it is."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "The truth? I tell the truth too. Nicole's having an affair with Chook. Muriel saw them f***ing in the laundry room on your wedding day. Stick your drink up your ass, Tania. I'd rather swallow razor blades than have a drink with you. Oh, by the way -- I'm not alone. I'm with Muriel."
  • (Sophie Lee) "Well we, you know -- and he couldn't so I --"
  • (Sophie Lee) "-- and I noticed there was lipstick on it."
  • (Belinda Jarrett) "On what?"
  • (Sophie Lee) "His dick."
  • (Sophie Lee) "If I feel you've changed, I'll tell you. I'm honest. Unlike some people, I tell it like it is."
  • (Sophie Lee) "I'm married. I'm beautiful."

Toni Collette as Muriel

  • (Toni Collette) "Bikkie?"
  • (Matt Day) "Maybe after -- I mean later."
  • (Toni Collette) "Are you black?"
  • (Daniel Lapaine) "What?"
  • (Toni Collette) "I can't stay married to you, David. I have to stop lying now. I've told so many lies -- I don't love you."
  • (Daniel Lapaine) "I don't love you either, but I think I could like having you around."
  • (Toni Collette) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, no one looked at me. But when I moved to Sydney, Brice asked me out and that proves that I changed and I'm not her anymore."
  • (Rachel Griffiths) "Her?"
  • (Toni Collette) "Muriel. Muriel Heslop. Stupid, fat and useless. I hate her. I'm never going back to being her again. Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one?"
  • (Toni Collette) "When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen."

Daniel Lapaine as David

  • (Daniel Lapaine) "What kind of person marries someone they don't know?"
  • (Toni Collette) "You did."
  • (Daniel Lapaine) "I want to win. All my life I've wanted to win."
  • (Toni Collette) "Me too."

Bill Hunter as Bill

  • (Bill Hunter) "Deidre Chambers. What a coincidence."
  • (Bill Hunter) "I was nearly in State Government. Four million votes I needed. No one knew who won for three days 'till the postal vote came in. For three days I was almost there -- You reap what you sow. You'd think I'd learn that growing up on a farm. You reap what you sow."
  • (Bill Hunter) "Did Perry interview for the police force yet?"
  • (Jeanie Drynan) "Yes, but they said he couldn't join because he was too tall."

Pippa Grandison as Nicole

  • (Pippa Grandison) "People invite us to parties because they know we have a good time. We're mad."
  • (Belinda Jarrett) "Pah-ty, pah-ty, pah-ty."
  • (Pippa Grandison) "It's our ee-mage."
  • (Toni Collette) "We're mad."
  • (Pippa Grandison) "Muriel --"
  • (Roz Hammond) "Wait. Let her finish her Orgasm."

Gennie Nevinson as Dierdre

  • (Gennie Nevinson) "Beauty consultant. I advise women on their lipstick, base and eye liner."
  • (Gennie Nevinson) "But you should all know about make-up. Your wives must be geishas."

Gabby Millgate as Joanie

  • (Gabby Millgate) "You're terrible, Muriel."

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