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Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) Quotes

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Mr. &amp stopped airing in 1970.

It features Akiva Goldsman, Arnon Milchan, and Lucas Foster as producer, John Powell (film composer) in charge of musical score, and Bojan Bazelli as head of cinematography.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) is 120 minutes long. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Brad Pitt as John Smith, Angelina Jolie as Jane Smith, Vince Vaughn as Eddie, Adam Brody as Benjamin, Michelle Monaghan as Gwen, Kerry Washington as Jasmine, and Chris Weitz as Martin Coleman.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005 film) Quotes

Angelina Jolie as Jane Smith

  • (Unnamed) "What's going on, Mrs. Smith?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Garden party, girls."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Hey baby. I didn't hear you downstairs."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I went down to the sports bar. Put a little money on the game."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "How'd you do?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "I got "Lucky"."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You were bait."
  • (Adam Brody) "In a manner of speaking."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Were bait or are bait?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Paid actor."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"."
  • (Marriage Counselor) "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "8"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Wait Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or --"
  • (Marriage Counselor) "Just respond instinctively."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Ok. Ready?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "8."
  • (Marriage Counselor) "How often do you have sex?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "I don't understand the question."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "If you don't like them we can take them back."
  • (Brad Pitt) "All right, I don't like them."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You'll get used to them."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "I told you to wait for my signal, you didn't wait for my signal."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Well, I improvised."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You deviated from the plan."
  • (Brad Pitt) "The plan was flawed."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "The plan was not flawed."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Anal."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Organized."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Jane, 90% of this job is instinct."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Well, your instinct set off every alarm in the building."
  • (Brad Pitt) "My instinct got the job done. It may not have been the Jane show --"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "No, it was the John show: it was half-assed. Like Christmas, like our anniversary, like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Your fake mother's birthday present."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "The point is, you are always the first to break team."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You don't want a team, you want a servant for hire."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "I want someone I can count on."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Jane, there's no air around you anymore."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Oh. OK, what is that supposed to mean?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "That means there's no room for mistakes, no mistakes whatsoever. No spontaneity. Who can answer to that?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Well, you don't have to. Because this isn't even a real marriage."
  • (Adam Brody) "Who are you people?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Shut up."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other. What's that called?"
  • (Marriage Counselor) "Marriage."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Wait, why do I get the girl gun?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Are you kidding me?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Still alive, baby?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Have you been selling big guns to bad people?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Satisfied?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Not for years."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "I can't feel anything in these three fingers."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "We re-did the house."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "There's nowhere I'd rather be than here with you."

Brad Pitt as John Smith

  • (Brad Pitt) "Web of lies."
  • (Lucky) "What? You're looking for a job or something?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "You are the job."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Pair of threes."
  • (Brad Pitt) "That's the second time you've tried to kill me today."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Three ribs. Broken eye socket. Perforated eardrum."
  • (Brad Pitt) "OK, I'll go first. Um -- Let me say, uh, we don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Six."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Five, six years."
  • (Brad Pitt) "We should so not be allowed to buy these."
  • (Brad Pitt) "So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Well, that would be a shame because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead."
  • (Brad Pitt) "What's new?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Same old. People need killing."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I never told you, but I was married once before."
  • (Brad Pitt) "What's wrong with you?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You're what's wrong with me John."
  • (Brad Pitt) "It was just a drunken Vegas thing."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Oh, that's better. That's much better."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "What's her name and social security number?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "No, you're not gonna kill her."
  • (Brad Pitt) "How many? Ok -- I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but --"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "312."
  • (Brad Pitt) "What? How?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Some were two at a time."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You live with your mother."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Why would you bring her into this, she happens to be a first class lady."
  • (Brad Pitt) "These f***ers get younger every year."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Does that include weekends?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Ask us the sex question."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "John."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Ten."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Oh, you're in trouble now."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punchline is -- you die."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I realise you witnessed the Mrs. and I working through a few domestic issues. That's regrettable but don't take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Honey."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Wrap it up."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage; sends a mixed message."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Sorry."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Girls. Where was I?"
  • (Adam Brody) "Mistake on your part."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Shut up."
  • (Brad Pitt) "That's all John, sweetheart."
  • (Brad Pitt) "The first time we met, what was your first thought?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You tell me."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I thought -- I thought you looked like Christmas morning, I don't know how else to say it."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "And why are you telling me this now?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "I guess in the end you start thinking about the beginning -- so there it is, I thought you should know."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening."
  • (Brad Pitt) "He's had my barbecue set for months."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Art?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "History. It's reputable."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Dance with me."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "You don't dance."
  • (Brad Pitt) "It was just my cover, sweetheart."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Was sloth your cover, too?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "It's called evasive driving, sweetheart."
  • (Brad Pitt) "That left of yours is a thing of beauty."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Mmm. You take it well."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Come to Daddy."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Who's your Daddy now?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "You want it? It's yours."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Don't. C'mon. C'mon."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Let's see if we can't get a tune out of this trombone."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You burn the picture after you get the assignment. It's the first thing you learn."
  • (Adam Brody) "Oh, I must have missed that day. Just like you missed the one about not marrying the enemy."
  • (Brad Pitt) "We'll talk about this later."
  • (Brad Pitt) "We have an unusual problem here, Jane. You obviously want me dead, and I'm less and less concerned for your well-being."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Chicken s***."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "p*****."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Come on, let's talk about this. You don't want to go to bed angry."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map."
  • (Brad Pitt) "You a vegan?"
  • (Michelle Monaghan) "No. My girlfriend is."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Hiya, stranger."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Hiya back."
  • (Brad Pitt) "We're going to have to re-do every conversation we've ever had."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart -- and that's saying something."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I have a theory, newly developed."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "I'm breathless to hear it."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I think you killed us."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Provocative."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Why do you care? I was just a cover"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Who says you were just a cover?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Wasn't I?"

Kerry Washington as Jasmine

  • (Kerry Washington) "Jane, it's your husband."
  • (Kerry Washington) "What? Your husband is the shooter? That's impossible."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Really?"

Vince Vaughn as Eddie

  • (Vince Vaughn) "Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars."
  • (Mom #1) "Eddie?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Mom. We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then. You do not even realize."
  • (Mom #1) "Never mind."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Are you saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "I think so."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Laptop"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Laptop."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "OK. Laptop."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "You gotta take this bitch out."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Don't tell me how to handle my wife."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "She cooks and cleans. And I'm the dummy?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Did you get a look at him?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Maybe he was Filipino."
  • (Brad Pitt) "I'm not even sure it was a him."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?"
  • (Brad Pitt) "I think so. A pro."
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?"
  • (Breakfast Diner Waitress) "You guys want any dessert?"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "What do ya have honey?"
  • (Breakfast Diner Waitress) "Ice cream --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Ice cream? That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?"
  • (Breakfast Diner Waitress) "Chocolate and Vanilla --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be -- a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae --"
  • (Breakfast Diner Waitress) "Could be arranged --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Perfect --"
  • (Vince Vaughn) "Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass -- d'ya know what I mean?"

Adam Brody as Benjamin

  • (Adam Brody) "Can I have a soda or a juice or --"
  • (Adam Brody) "A. A. Option A. Ow, that hurt."
  • (Brad Pitt) "Ok, that was a nice shot."
  • (Adam Brody) "Oh, look. More desert."

Chris Weitz as Martin Coleman

  • (Chris Weitz) "Shame about the red oak."

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