Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Quotes

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl completed its run in 1970.

It features Terry Hughes as producer, and Ray Cooper; John Du Prez, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Neil Innes, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Fred Tomlinson in charge of musical score.

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl is 80 minutes long. Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Quotes

• (Unnamed) "Good morning."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, good morning. Have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a blowjob?"

• (Unnamed) "We find your American beer like making love in a canoe. It's f***ing close to water."

• (Unnamed) "Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable / Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table / David Hume could outconsume Schopenhauer and Hegel / And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schlossed as Schlegel / There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist / Socrates himself was permanently pissed / And John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on a half a pint of shandy was particularly ill / Plato, they say, could stick it away; half a pint of whiskey, every day / Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle / Hobbes was fond of his dram / And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am." / Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed -- / a lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed."

• (Unnamed) "This isn't an argument. It's just contradiction."
• (Unnamed) "No, it isn't."
• (Unnamed) "Yes it is."
• (Unnamed) "No, no, no."
• (Unnamed) "It is."
• (Unnamed) "No, it isn't."
• (Unnamed) "Yes it is. An argument is an intellectual process. It isn't just contradiction."
• (Unnamed) "Look, if I'm to argue with you, I have to take up a contracitary position."
• (Unnamed) "Yes, but it's not just saying "No it isn't.""
• (Unnamed) "Yes, it is."
• (Unnamed) "No, it isn't."

• (Unnamed) "I did my whole, "Serious offense" bit and then I waggled me wig."
• (Unnamed) "You did what?"
• (Unnamed) "I waggled me wig."

• (Unnamed) "Good evening, Your Holiness."
• (Unnamed) "Evening, Michelangelo. I want to talk to you about this painting of yours, The Last Supper. I'm not happy about it."
• (Unnamed) "Oh, dear. It took me hours."
• (Unnamed) "Not happy at all."
• (Unnamed) "Is it the jello you don't like?"
• (Unnamed) "No."
• (Unnamed) "It does add a bit of colour, doesn't it. Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo."
• (Unnamed) "What kangaroo?"
• (Unnamed) "No problem, I'll paint him out."
• (Unnamed) "I never saw a kangaroo."
• (Unnamed) "Uh, he's right at the back. No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple. All right?"
• (Unnamed) "That's the problem."
• (Unnamed) "What is?"
• (Unnamed) "The disciples."
• (Unnamed) "Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish."
• (Unnamed) "No, it's just that there are 28 of them."

• (Unnamed) "It's the Bishop of Leicester."
• (Unnamed) "How do you know?"
• (Unnamed) "Tattooed on the back of his neck. I think I'd better call the police."
• (Unnamed) "Shouldn't you call the church?"
• (Unnamed) "Call the Church Police."
• (Unnamed) "Good idea."

• (Millionaire) "Cardboard box?"
• (Millionaire) "Yes."
• (Millionaire) "Luxury."

• (Unnamed) "I've got two legs, from my hips to the ground / And when I move them, they walk around / And when I lift them, they climb the stairs / And when I shave them, they ain't got hairs."

• (Unnamed) "Hello and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty L.A. suburb of Hollywood. Well, we're about to witness All-in Wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum, the world's first combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing; and by the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear missile. You never know when it'll go off."

• (Unnamed) "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me, I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too, I love to hear you oralise, when I'm between your thighs you blow me away. Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you, I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly, life can be fine if we both 69, if we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play till we're blown away."

• (Unnamed) "They're a typical Hollywood audience. All the kids are on drugs and all the adults are on roller skates."

• (Unnamed) "I'd like to have an argument please."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.