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Mind of Mencia Quotes

Mind of Mencia with Carlos Mencia is a TV show that was first aired in 2005 on Comedy Central. Mind of Mencia ended its run in 2008.

Mind of Mencia with Carlos Mencia was on for 4 seasons and 52 episodes. Mind of Mencia with Carlos Mencia is created by Carlos Mencia.

Mind of Mencia with Carlos Mencia Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping."
  • (Unnamed) "If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole."
  • (Unnamed) "If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again -- Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey, bro. You dropped your keys."
  • (Fountain Drinker) "Who are you calling, 'bro,' bitch?"
  • (Unnamed) "That's not news. When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news."
  • (Unnamed) "If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby."
  • (Unnamed) "Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second."
  • (Unnamed) "Okay."
  • (Unnamed) "Aren't you the one with twelve kids?"
  • (Hispanic Woman Customer At Gas Station) "Yes I am."
  • (Unnamed) "-- What do you feed them? Losing lottery tickets? You're never going to win the lottery. You have a better chance of getting knocked up by Ryan Seacrest. And you have enough kids. Take your fifty dollars and buy yourself a vagina cork. I hope I get reincarnated as a condom so I never have to see your ugly-ass face again."
  • (Announcer) "The vaguvinator. Vaguvinate your vagina and make him think it's your first time, every time."
  • (Unnamed) "We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?"
  • (Unnamed) "Dee-Dee-Dee."
  • (Unnamed) "Carlos, seriously, it's the president of the United States."
  • (Unnamed) "S-send him through."
  • (Unnamed) "Carlos, it's president George W. Bush. Ya got a minute?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yea, Yeah, what's up?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I just want to say that uh, Laura and I really love your show."
  • (Unnamed) "God -- I'm honored, sir."
  • (Unnamed) "Well, I appreciate that, but I do have an official request for ya, CM."
  • (Unnamed) "What would that be?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well, Carlos, I've always tried to be a uniter, not a divider. Unfortunately, I feel your racialistically charged material is pulling this country apart. So as a favor to me, and America, could you please stop tellin' those ethnical jokes? Ya know, I'd appreciate that."
  • (Unnamed) "Sir, I love this country more than anything in the world, and I respect what you've done so much -- but, the one thing I truly love about this country is freedom of speech. So -- You can go f*** yourself, you redneck cracker."
  • (Unnamed) "I know Spanish too, Punta."

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