Mean Girls Quotes

Mean Girls is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Mean Girls ended in 1970.

It features Lorne Michaels as producer, Rolfe Kent in charge of musical score, and Daryn Okada as head of cinematography.

Mean Girls is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Mean Girls is 97 minutes long. Mean Girls is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Amanda Seyfried as Karen, Lacey Chabert as Gretchen, Lindsay Lohan as Cady, Lizzy Caplan as Janis, Rachel McAdams as Regina, Daniel Franzese as Damian, Tina Fey as Ms. Norbury, Dwayne Hill as Coach Carr, Neil Flynn as Chip Heron, Ana Gasteyer as Betsy Heron, Julia Chantrey as Amber D'Alessio, Jonathan Malen as Kristen Hadley, Diego Klattenhoff as Shane Oman, Alisha Morrison as Lea Edwards, Rachel McAdams as Regina George, Daniel DeSanto as Jason, Rajiv Surendra as Kevin Gnapoor, Jonathan Bennett as Aaron Samuels, and Lacey Chabert as Gretchen Wieners.

Mean Girls Quotes

Lacey Chabert as Gretchen

• (Lacey Chabert) "Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I wouldn't?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong."

• (Lacey Chabert) "That is so fetch."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present."

• (Lacey Chabert) "That was so fetch."

• (Lacey Chabert) "And did you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT Prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium. And I never told anyone because -- I was such a good friend."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Gretchen Wieners had cracked."

• (Lacey Chabert) "If only you knew how mean she really is -- You'd know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah. Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing and I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn't even like them and -- it was so sad. And you know she cheats on Aaron? Yes, every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium. I never told anybody that because I am such a good friend."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Regina, we have to talk to you."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Is butter a carb?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "YES."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday."
• (Rachel McAdams) "So?"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Whatever. Those rules aren't real."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "They were real that day I wore a vest."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Because that vest was disgusting."
• (Lacey Chabert) "You can't sit with us."
• (Rachel McAdams) "These sweatpants are all that fits me right now."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Fine. You can walk home, bitches."

• (Lacey Chabert) "What are you supposed to be?"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "I'm a MOUSE. DUH."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Trang Pak is a grotsky, little byotch."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Still true."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Still half-true."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Amber D'Alessio. She made out with a hot dog."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Janis Ian-DYKE."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Hey, who is that?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "I think it's that kid, Damien."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Yeah, he's almost too gay to function."
• (Rachel McAdams) "That's funny, put that in there."

• (Lacey Chabert) "And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just STAB CAESAR."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Gretchen Wieners had cracked."

• (Lacey Chabert) "Growing up female in this world is not easy. In China, baby girls are routinely put up for adoption. And in parts of Africa, women are still made to live in tents during the time of their menses."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Ew."
• (Lacey Chabert) "And even in fancy countries like the United States and England, seven out of ten girls have a negative body image."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Who cares? Six of those girls are right."

• (Lacey Chabert) "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me -- but I can't help it that I'm popular."

• (Lacey Chabert) "I think tonight might be the night with Jason."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "What are you talking about? You've already slept with him"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Yeah but tonight's night i like it."

Rachel McAdams as Regina

• (Joan the Secretary) "And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'. Regina George --"
• (Joan the Secretary) "Gretchen Weiners."
• (Joan the Secretary) "Janis Ian."
• (Rachel McAdams) "What is happening to the world?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Damien."
• (Daniel Franzese) "I couldn't help myself."
• (Joan the Secretary) "And finally, Cady Heron."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Damien? You put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan."
• (Daniel Franzese) "I didn't put you in there --"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You mean I'm really nominated?"

• (Mrs. George) "I'm a cool mom. Right Regina?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Please stop talking."

• (Mr. Duvall) ""Kaitlyn Caussin is a -- ""
• (Rachel McAdams) "Fat whore."

• (Rachel McAdams) "Get in loser, we're going shopping."

• (Rachel McAdams) "It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours."
• (Jonathan Bennett) "Lemme see that -- this isn't even cranberry juice, it's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar."
• (Rachel McAdams) "I wanna lose three pounds."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Oh my God, you're so skinny."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Shut up."

• (Rachel McAdams) "But you're, like, really pretty."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Thank you."
• (Rachel McAdams) "So you agree?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "What?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "You think you're really pretty?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Oh -- I don't know"

• (Rachel McAdams) "She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?"
• (Diego Klattenhoff) "You're right, hon."
• (Rachel McAdams) "I like invented her, you know what I mean?"

• (Rachel McAdams) "I know your secret."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Oh god, busted. Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Secret? What are you saying about?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Gretchen told me you like Aaron Samuels. I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want, but lemme just tell you something about Aaron, all he cares about is school and his mom and his friends."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Is that bad?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "But if you like him, whatever. I mean I could talk to him for you if you want."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Really? You would do that? I mean nothing embarassing though, right?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Oh no, trust me, I know exactly how to play it. But wait, aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? Because if you are you can tell me, it was a really bitchy thing for her to do."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad, I mean I guess she just likes the attention."
• (Rachel McAdams) "See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you."
• (Lacey Chabert) "I can't believe you think I like attention."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Ok, love you, see you tomorrow."

• (Rachel McAdams) "Oh my God, I love your skirt. Where did you get it?"
• (Alisha Morrison) "It was my mom's in the '80s."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Vintage, so adorable."
• (Alisha Morrison) "Thanks."
• (Rachel McAdams) "That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen."

• (Rachel McAdams) "I love it."
• (Lacey Chabert) "So Fetch."
• (Rachel McAdams) "What is fetch?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Oh, it's like slang, from -- England."

• (Rachel McAdams) "Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?"

• (Rachel McAdams) "I know, right?"

• (Rachel McAdams) "I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Wait, Regina. Talk to me."
• (Rachel McAdams) "No one understands me --"
• (Lacey Chabert) "I understand you."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You're not stupid, Karen."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Well -- there must be something you're good at."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "No no no -- Anything else?"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Well -- I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "What do you mean?"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Really? That's amazing."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Well -- they can tell when it's raining."

• (Mrs. George) "I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Please stop talking."

• (Rachel McAdams) "Wedell on South Boulevard."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Caller ID"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Not when you connect from information."
• (Taylor Wedell's Mom) "Hello?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Hello, may I please talk to Taylor Wedell?"
• (Taylor Wedell's Mom) "She's not home yet who's calling?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It's urgent, Thank You."
• (Rachel McAdams) "She's not going out with anyone."

• (Rachel McAdams) "Do you know what people say about you? They say you are homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of me. So don't try to act all innocent. You can take that fake apology and shove it straight up your hairy little --"

Daniel Franzese as Damian

• (Short Girl) "Hey, get out of here."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Oh my God; Danny DeVito. I love your work."

• (Daniel Franzese) "My nanna takes her wig off when she is drunk."
• (Tina Fey) "Your nanna and I have that in common."

• (Daniel Franzese) "Good news, they didn't get run over -- Bad news, they're still flat."

• (Daniel Franzese) "She's fabulous, but she's evil."

• (Daniel Franzese) ""Too gay to function?""
• (Lizzy Caplan) "That's only okay when I say it."

• (Daniel Franzese) "Oh, my God. I love this song."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "I hate this song."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I know this song."

• (Daniel Franzese) "Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco. You go, Glenn Coco. And uh -- "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "It's Cady."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Oh Cady, here you go, one for you -- And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye."

• (Crying Girl) "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school -- I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy --"
• (Daniel Franzese) "She doesn't even go here."
• (Tina Fey) "Do you even go to this school?"
• (Crying Girl) "No -- I just have a lot of feelings --"
• (Tina Fey) "Ok go home --"
• (Tina Fey) "Next."

• (Daniel Franzese) "She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Who cares?"
• (Daniel Franzese) "I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Wow, Damian, you've truely out-gayed yourself."

• (Daniel Franzese) "You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide."
• (Tina Fey) "Thanks, Damian."

• (Daniel Franzese) "She doesn't even go here."

• (Daniel Franzese) "Janis Ian; Dyke."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Oh, that's original."
• (Daniel Franzese) ""Too gay to function?""
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Hey, that's only ok when I say it."

Julia Chantrey as Amber D'Alessio

• (Julia Chantrey) "Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time."

Lizzy Caplan as Janis

• (Lizzy Caplan) "We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Say crack again."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Crack."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "Regina George -- How do I begin to explain Regina George?"
• (Emma Gerber) "Regina George is flawless."
• (Mathlete Tim Pak) "I hear her hair's insured for $10,000."
• (Julia Chantrey) "I hear she does car commercials -- in Japan."
• (Jonathan Malen) "Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues."
• (Short Girl) "One time she met John Stamos on a plane --"
• (Jessica Lopez) "- And he told her she was pretty."
• (Bethany Byrd) "One time she punched me in the face -- it was awesome."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "Cady, you gotta steal that book"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "No Way."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Come on. We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is."

• (Unnamed) "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Your mom's chest hair."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don't eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks,"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of plastics."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year."
• (Daniel Franzese) "She asked me how to spell orange."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners."
• (Daniel Franzese) "She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone."
• (Daniel Franzese) "That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that."
• (Daniel Franzese) "She's the queen bee; the star, those other two are just her little workers."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "They wanted me to get socialized."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "What are you talking about?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "You're a regulation hottie."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "What?"
• (Daniel Franzese) "Own it."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "Wow, Damien, you've truly out-gayed yourself."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "What is that smell?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Oh, Regina gave me some perfume."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "You smell like a baby prostitute."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Thanks."

• (Lizzy Caplan) "There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it"

Rajiv Surendra as Kevin Gnapoor

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Cady, this is your night. Don't let the hataz stop you from doin' ya thang."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Did you just say "thang"?"

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I have to pee."

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Yo Yo Yo. All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me. From my grades, to my lines you can't touch Kevin G. I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred; I'm Kevin Gnapoor. The G's silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, OOH. KEVIN G."
• (Mr. Duvall) "Thank you Kevin, that's enough."
• (Rajiv Surendra) "Happy holidays everybody."
• (Mr. Duvall) "K.G. and the power of 3."

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Hey, Africa."

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Yo, yo, yo. All you sucka MC's ain't got nothing on me, from my grades to my rhymes you can't touch Kevin G. I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third. Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor. The G's silent when I sneak in your door. I make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play like Shaggy, you'll know it was me, cuz the next time you see her she'll be like "ohhh Kevin G.""

• (Rajiv Surendra) "Damn."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "What?"
• (Rajiv Surendra) "I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang."

Lindsay Lohan as Cady

• (Lindsay Lohan) "And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Well what does it say about me?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You're not in it."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Those bitches."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "What do we even talk about?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Hair products."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Ashton Kutcher."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Is that a band?"

• (Mr. Duvall) "Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "That's me. It's pronounced like Katie."
• (Mr. Duvall) "My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Regina, wow, you look really beautiful."
• (Rachel McAdams) "I'm wearing a spinal halo."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Look, I'm really sorry about the bus. I feel like it's all my fault."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Stopping making this about you. I'm the one that got hit by the bus."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I'm really sorry about all the other stuff too."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person -- and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now."
• (Rachel McAdams) "You know Aaron really does like you. He's always talking about how unusual you are and it really pissed me off. Like this one time, I got this really expensive doll house from Germany, but I never played with it. So my mom wanted to give it to my cousin. But even though I didn't want it --"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You begged your mom to let you keep it?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "No. I threw it down the stairs."
• (Rachel McAdams) "I didn't want anyone else to have it. But that's just me."
• (Mrs. George) "Regina. There about to announce the queen."
• (Mrs. George) "Hello."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Bye."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "So, are you gonna send any candy canes?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "She's not even that good looking if you really look at her."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit -- no, wait a minute --"
• (Rachel McAdams) "What is this?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Actual vomit."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Everyone in Africa knows Swedish"

• (Lindsay Lohan) "The limit does not exist."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Hey --. Are we still in a fight?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "You still an asshole?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "No. I don't think so."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies to people we'd hurt in our lifes."
• (Michigan Girl) "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "What does it say about me?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You're not in it."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Those bitches."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "I think I'm joining the Mathletes."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "No. No, no."
• (Rachel McAdams) "You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn. You are so lucky you have us to guide you."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Wow. Your house is really nice."
• (Rachel McAdams) "I know, right?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "The weird thing about hanging out with Regina was that I could hate her, and at the same time, I still wanted her to like me."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Okay -- you have really good eyebrows."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Thanks."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Move."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Ooh."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Same with Gretchen: the meaner Regina was to her, the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. She knew it was better to be in the plastics, hating life, than to not be in at all. Because being with the plastics was like being famous -- people looked at you all the time and everybody just knew stuff about you."
• (Unnamed) "That knew girl moved here from Africa."
• (Unnamed) "I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops."
• (Unnamed) "That Cady girl is hot -- she might even be hotter than Regina George."
• (Mr. Duvall) "I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. The 2 were seen canoodling at Chris Isen's halloween party -- they've been inseparable ever since."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good -- SLUT."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Oh, god."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "You dirty little liar."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I'm sorry, I can explain."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?"
• (Daniel Franzese) "Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "God. See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys.""
• (Lindsay Lohan) "You know what. It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "What?"
• (Daniel Franzese) "Oh, no, she did not."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you. Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you. So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl. You're a bitch. Here. You can have this. It won a prize."
• (Daniel Franzese) "And I want my pink shirt back. I want my pink shirt back."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Regina seems -- sweet."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Regina George is not sweet. She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Halloween is the one night of the year when you can dress like a slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Finally, Girl World was at peace."
• (Daniel Franzese) "Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Just kidding."

• (Mrs. George) "Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from four to six."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Um, is there alcohol in this?"
• (Mrs. George) "Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. And then she said it, the worst thing you could hear from any adult."
• (Tina Fey) "Your parents have been eaten by cannibals."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Okay, the second worst."
• (Tina Fey) "I'm really disappointed in you, Cady."

• (Lindsay Lohan) "Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen."
• (Rachel McAdams) "To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Wait Regina, just listen."
• (Rachel McAdams) "No. Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me. Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent. You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c --"

• (Lindsay Lohan) "She took him back. Regina took Aaron back."
• (Lizzy Caplan) "Oh, no, Cady --"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Why would she do that?"
• (Lizzy Caplan) "'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives."

Daniel DeSanto as Jason

• (Daniel DeSanto) "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr. And so did Sun Jin Dinh."
• (Trang Pak) "You little slut."
• (Sun Jin Dinh) "You're the slut."

• (Daniel DeSanto) "Yeah. Take your top off."

• (Daniel DeSanto) "Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah, that's true dude --"

• (Daniel DeSanto) "Is your muffin buttered?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "What?"
• (Daniel DeSanto) "Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "My what?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeeze?"
• (Daniel DeSanto) "I'm just being friendly."
• (Lacey Chabert) "You were supposed to call me last night."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "No, thank you."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason."
• (Daniel DeSanto) "Bitch --"

Jonathan Bennett as Aaron Samuels

• (Jonathan Bennett) "Your face smells like peppermint."

• (Mr. Duvall) "Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?"
• (Jonathan Bennett) "No."
• (Rajiv Surendra) "What are marijuana tablets?"

• (Jonathan Bennett) "Hey."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Hey."
• (Jonathan Bennett) "And you are -- a zombie bride."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "An "ex-wife.""
• (Jonathan Bennett) "Love it. Can I get you a drink?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Yeah."
• (Jonathan Bennett) "All right. Be right back."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Ok."

Amanda Seyfried as Karen

• (Amanda Seyfried) "If you're from Africa, why are you white?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "On Wednesdays we wear pink."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Okay, you did not just say that."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "What? He's a good kisser."
• (Lacey Chabert) "He's your cousin."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Yeah, but he's my first cousin."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Right."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins --"
• (Lacey Chabert) "No, honey, uh-uh."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "That's not right, is it?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "That is so not right."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "I can't go out."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "I'm sick."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Boo, you whore."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "There's a 30% chance that it's already raining."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "Oh my god, she's so annoying."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Who is?"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Who's this?"
• (Lacey Chabert) "Gretchen --"
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Right -- hold on."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Oh my god, she's so annoying."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "God. My hips are huge."
• (Lacey Chabert) "Oh please. I hate my calves."
• (Rachel McAdams) "At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body."
• (Lacey Chabert) "My hairline is so weird."
• (Rachel McAdams) "My pores are huge."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "My nail beds suck."
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I have really bad breath in the morning."
• (Amanda Seyfried) "Ew."

• (Amanda Seyfried) "Why are you dressed so scary?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "It's Halloween."

Ana Gasteyer as Betsy Heron

• (Ana Gasteyer) "Where's Cady?"
• (Neil Flynn) "She went out."
• (Ana Gasteyer) "She's grounded."
• (Neil Flynn) "Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?"

• (Ana Gasteyer) "Where's Cady?"
• (Neil Flynn) "She went out."
• (Ana Gasteyer) "She's grounded."
• (Neil Flynn) "Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?"

Diego Klattenhoff as Shane Oman

• (Diego Klattenhoff) "Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?"
• (Rachel McAdams) "I'm starving."
• (Diego Klattenhoff) "Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class."
• (Rachel McAdams) "What?"
• (Diego Klattenhoff) "They make you gain weight like crazy."
• (Rachel McAdams) "Motherf;"
• (Rachel McAdams) "Aaaaaaaah."

Tina Fey as Ms. Norbury

• (Tina Fey) "Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?"

• (Tina Fey) "I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you."

• (Mr. Duvall) "So, uh -- how was your summer?"
• (Tina Fey) "I got divorced."
• (Mr. Duvall) "Oh. My carpal tunnel came back."
• (Tina Fey) "I win."

• (Mr. Duvall) "Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa."
• (Tina Fey) "Welcome."
• (Michigan Girl) "I'm from Michigan."
• (Tina Fey) "Great."

• (Tina Fey) "Not your best."
• (Rajiv Surendra) "Damn, Africa, what happened?"

• (Tina Fey) "Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?"

Dwayne Hill as Coach Carr

• (Dwayne Hill) "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."

• (Dwayne Hill) "At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia -- and die."

Neil Flynn as Chip Heron

• (Neil Flynn) "Hey, how was school?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Fine."
• (Ana Gasteyer) "Were people nice?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "No."
• (Neil Flynn) "Did you make any friends?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "Yes."

• (Neil Flynn) "This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that."
• (Ana Gasteyer) "Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?"
• (Lindsay Lohan) "I think so."

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