Major Fred C. Dobbs Quotes

Major Fred C. Dobbs is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Major Fred C. Dobbs ended its run in 1970.

Major Fred C. Dobbs Quotes

• (Colonel Lambert) "Honest, true blue as the day is long, and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer."

• (Hawkeye) "Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?"

• (Trapper) "They got a lot of guts."
• (Hawkeye) "And they keep serving them."

• (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel -- the wounded you've all been waiting for has finally arrived in person -- report to the Big Top immediately; the circus is about to begin."

• (Frank Burns) "Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have."

• (Margaret) "Act like a man, you sniveling twerp."

• (Hawkeye) "War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."
• (Father Mulcahy) "How do you figure, Hawkeye?"
• (Hawkeye) "Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?"
• (Father Mulcahy) "Sinners, I believe."
• (Hawkeye) "Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them; little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander."

• (Radar) "I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel better."
• (B.J.) "No. It's supposed to make you feel nothing."

• (B.J.) "What's Frank up to?"
• (Hawkeye) "I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so."

• (Radar) "Will Scotch be all right for everybody, sir?"
• (Henry Blake) "Yeah, fine, Radar; perfect."
• (Radar) "Uh, I ran out of ice sir, so I used bourbon."

• (Father Mulcahy) "You'd be surprised what a priest can get away with."

• (Klinger) "50 more pounds, and I'm homeward-bound."
• (Col. Potter) "You're going to eat you way to a discharge?"
• (Klinger) "I call it "Food for Freedom"."
• (Col. Potter) "I call it "Suicide by Salami"."
• (Klinger) "I'll take my chances."
• (Col. Potter) "Okay, when you can't get through that door, come see me."
• (Klinger) "I'll be wearing a size 30, sir."

• (Frank Burns) "I don't see why the American taxpayer has to pay for a wedding between these two pagans."
• (Margaret) "They're not pagans, Frank. Everyone's going to be wearing clothes."

• (Trapper) "How should I know? I dropped out of school to become a doctor."

• (Frank Burns) "I wonder if I can say something useful?"
• (Trapper) "I often wonder that too, Frank."

• (Cpl. Igor Straminsky) "See these fresh oranges? They don't grow on trees, you know."

• (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; incoming wounded. Out of the frying pan and into the O.R."

• (Col. Potter) "Please excuse these two, they're themselves today."

• (Hawkeye) "Insanity is just a state of mind"

• (Henry Blake) "Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?"
• (Radar) "One of us has to."

• (Unnamed) "Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today."

• (Frank Burns) "Margaret, can't we please talk about this?"
• (Margaret) "Remove your hand or I'll zap you with my knee."

• (Henry Blake) "Frank, whatever it is, just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it."

• (Hawkeye) "Sidney? Hawkeye Pierce. Did I interrupt you in the middle of someone?"

• (Hawkeye) "I'm too frightened to be scared."

• (Hawkeye) "Unhand me you varlet, you know not who you touch."

• (Hawkeye) "Boy, did his draft board go crazy."

• (Frank Burns) "It's nice to be nice -- to the nice."

• (Hawkeye) "Margaret, I'm honored, touched -- and aroused."

• (Henry Blake) "Boy, those two poops are gonna drive me dippy."

• (Frank Burns) "Attention all Allied personnel. There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one."
• (Hawkeye) "Very good, Frank."
• (B.J.) "They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem."

• (Frank Burns) "We're making real progress."
• (Hawkeye) "I can tell. You have a Korean accent."

• (Trapper) "Take a walk, Frank."
• (Hawkeye) "Yeah, take a major walk."

• (Henry Blake) "You two have gone over my head so many times I have athlete's scalp."

• (Father Mulcahy) "Colonel Blake, are you busy?"
• (Henry Blake) "No -- I'm telling this mian's fortune by reading his bowels."

• (Radar) "My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke."

• (Radar) "Sir, there's someone waiting to see you."
• (Henry Blake) "I was born with someone waiting to see me."

• (Frank Burns) "This is the last straw."
• (Hawkeye) "Remind me to order more straws."

• (Hawkeye) "If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover."

• (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800."

• (Hawkeye) "How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn."

• (Col. Potter) "The General answers his own phone. Must be a Unitarian."

• (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; we interrupt your sweet dreams to bring you the following nightmare."

• (Frank Burns) "Spontaneity has its time and its place."

• (Frank Burns) "All right, where's my razor?"
• (Hawkeye) "Been shaving your legs again, Frank?"

• (Radar) "Sir, I was just crossing the compound when --"
• (Frank Burns) "I have no interest in the compound."
• (Klinger) "He has no compound-interest."

• (Frank Burns) "I'm taking this to a higher authority."
• (Trapper) "Aw, Frank -- you're not going to write your mother again."

• (Frank Burns) "Why don't you guys like me?"
• (Hawkeye) "Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person."
• (Frank Burns) "Aside from that."
• (B.J.) "Well, there's your pimples."
• (Frank Burns) "My pores won't close."

• (B.J.) "Why don't you do us a favour, and break it in."

• (Col. Potter) "Y'know, I had a still, on Guam. One night, it blew up."
• (Col. Potter) "That's how I got my Purple Heart."

• (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; this is your wake-up call."

• (Father Mulcahy) "Colonel, an ambulance has turned over in the compound, you better come on the double."
• (Col. Potter) "Anybody hurt?"
• (Father Mulcahy) "Well, the driver's a bit shaken-up, but he'll be all right."
• (Col. Potter) "No-one else inside?"
• (Father Mulcahy) "No."
• (Col. Potter) "Thank God."
• (Father Mulcahy) "I already did."

• (Frank Burns) "Klinger, how dare you wear that hat while in uniform?"
• (Klinger) "It's spring, sir."

• (Frank Burns) "You disgust me."
• (Hawkeye) "You're right, Frank -- I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting."

• (Hawkeye) "Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you."

• (Colonel Flagg) "You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me."

• (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning -- And midnight has been canceled."

• (Klinger) "Sir, I've had a lot of experience in these matters."
• (Charles) "I do not need the wisdom of your experience. I am not selling watches from the trunk of a car."

• (Charles) "Hunnicutt, I've known a lot of people in my life. You are not among them."

• (Frank Burns) "It's the way these yellow devils think. It's burned into their brains. Kill Americans, kill, kill. They don't respect human life the way we do. I'd like to take him out and shoot him."

• (Trapper) "I've never met a nurse that didn't register."

• (Hawkeye) "Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour."

• (Radar) "Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there?"
• (Hawkeye) "Well, it's today here."
• (B.J.) "It's always today here."
• (Hawkeye) "Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow?"
• (B.J.) "Good point."
• (Hawkeye) "Ha, I wasn't born yesterday."

• (B.J.) "Big surprise dinner party. Spectacularly unforgetable. Have you ever considered renting your mouth out to the motor pool as a garage?"

• (Frank Burns) "I love it here."
• (Col. Potter) "Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one."

• (Charles) "Live. That's an order."

• (Frank Burns) "The men hate me, don't they?"
• (Radar) "Just your guts, sir."

• (Frank Burns) "Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy."
• (Margaret) "We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many."
• (Frank Burns) "I know, darling, and I love being both of us."

• (Dr. Sidney Freedman) "I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist."

• (Colonel Flagg) "I could kill you with one finger."

• (Hawkeye) "Blow in my ear."
• (Margaret) "What?"
• (Hawkeye) "I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out."

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