Love at First Bite Quotes

Love at First Bite is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Love at First Bite stopped airing in 1970.

It features Joel Freeman as producer, Charles Bernstein (composer) in charge of musical score, and Edward Rosson as head of cinematography.

Love at First Bite is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Love at First Bite is 94 minutes long. Love at First Bite is distributed by American International Pictures.

The cast includes: George Hamilton as Count Dracula, Susan Saint James as Cindy Soundheim, Susan Saint James as Cindy Sondheim, Arte Johnson as Renfield, Richard Benjamin as Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg, Dick Shawn as Lieutenant Ferguson, and Sherman Hemsley as Reverend Mike.

Love at First Bite Quotes

Richard Benjamin as Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg

• (Richard Benjamin) "I'm a doctor. I know what I'm doing."

• (George Hamilton) "Where is he?"
• (Susan Saint James) "He'll be here."
• (Richard Benjamin) "Another fly by night character."

• (Richard Benjamin) "In the name of all the Van Helsings who have ever lived -- burn, baby. Burn."

• (Richard Benjamin) "My name is Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg, and I want to talk to you about a man who sucks the blood out of people."
• (Dick Shawn) "A loan shark, eh? What's 's name."

• (Richard Benjamin) "This is a perfect example of a man taking charge of his own life. And I feel -- pretty good."

George Hamilton as Count Dracula

• (George Hamilton) "The wolf is a very misunderstood creature. He never kills for sport, only what is needed. And he always protects the young -- and the old."

• (George Hamilton) "We've come to make a withdrawal. We have a very sick man in the car. He needs blood, desperately."
• (Bloodbank Guard) "That's a hearse."
• (George Hamilton) "So maybe we're a bit late."

• (George Hamilton) "What is this? Copyright 1923? Renfield, you bumbling moron, this book is as out of date as -- as I am."

• (George Hamilton) "I propose a toast. Here's blood in your eye."

• (George Hamilton) "We're going to make a hoist."
• (Arte Johnson) "Heist. Heist, heist."

• (George Hamilton) "Did you have a nice day, my beauty?"
• (Susan Saint James) "Well, Rene ran my ass off all day. I mean, he may be the best photographer in New York City, but he's still a bitch."
• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "Now, now, darling. They have a right to their life."
• (Susan Saint James) "Yes, I know, Jeffrey. They love in their way, we love in ours, who's to say which is right, by the 21st Century homosexuality will probably be the normal lifestyle."
• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "Excellent."

• (Commissare Woman) "Either you spend the rest of your life in an efficiency apartment with seven dissidents and one toilet, or you gather your aristocratic s*** together and split."
• (George Hamilton) "Renfield."
• (Arte Johnson) "Yes, master."
• (George Hamilton) "What is an efficiency apartment?"
• (Arte Johnson) "I don't know, master. What's a toilet?"

• (George Hamilton) "What was that maniac drinking? Tastes like the Volga river at low tide."

• (George Hamilton) "I heard a rooster crow."
• (Susan Saint James) "A rooster? In New York City ?"

• (Unnamed) "You dirty bat. You bit my mother."
• (George Hamilton) "What is your name?"
• (Unnamed) "Alexei. Rugalov."
• (George Hamilton) "No, Alexei. I bit your mother, and your grandmother."

• (George Hamilton) "I'm going out for a bite to drink."

• (George Hamilton) "Children of the night, shut up."

• (George Hamilton) "You did real well, Renfield."
• (Arte Johnson) "Thank you, Master."
• (George Hamilton) "A combination getaway car and mobile home."

• (George Hamilton) "You were born in the wrong time, Cindy Sondheim. In the other age things were simpler, less complicated. Do you remember how many women had nervous breakdowns in the fourteenth century?"
• (Susan Saint James) "No."
• (George Hamilton) "Three."

• (Commissare Woman) "You and your cockroach-eating friend over there -- have 48 hours to get out.Good evening, Comrade Count."
• (George Hamilton) "Wait one minute. This is my home. My people cleared the land. We tortured innocent peasants for it. We even murdered for it. By Romanian law, that makes it ours."

Sherman Hemsley as Reverend Mike

• (Sherman Hemsley) "I knew Brother Alvin -- and he was a swinger."
• (Unnamed) "Yes. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Alleluia., etc."
• (Sherman Hemsley) "He loved his booze, hahahaha. He loved his women."
• (Unnamed) "Yeah. And my wife, too. Yes, he did. Sure did., etc"
• (Sherman Hemsley) "But must of all, he loved his Cadillac Saville, and it's a beaute. I know, because he left it to me, Hallelujah."
• (Unnamed) "Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord., etc"
• (Sherman Hemsley) "I showed him how God wanted him to have a swell time while he was alive. Because, brothers and sisters, when you is gone, you is gone. And ain't no way, no how, nobody's going to bring you back here once you is dead."
• (George Hamilton) "Good Evening."
• (George Hamilton) "I am Count Dracula. I would like a large suite with a bath. I have a reservation."
• (George Hamilton) "This is not the lobby of the Plaza Hotel?"

Susan Saint James as Cindy Sondheim

• (Susan Saint James) "Why did you tell him that?"
• (Richard Benjamin) "Because the bad guys always tell the good guys what they're going to do just before they try to kill them."
• (Arte Johnson) "He's absolutely right, Miss Cindy, that's part of the rules. But in this case, WE are they good guys."

• (Susan Saint James) "We can go to bed, maybe get in a little quickie."
• (George Hamilton) "No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie."

• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "No."
• (Susan Saint James) "What?"
• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "No. It can't be."
• (Susan Saint James) "What, Jeffrey?"
• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "Dracula."
• (Susan Saint James) "How did you know his name?"

• (Susan Saint James) "I told you I have a man in here --"
• (George Hamilton) "Now you do."

• (Susan Saint James) "Oh, this isn't so hard. I think I'm going to love imortality."
• (George Hamilton) "There is one small disadvantage. We can only live by night."
• (Susan Saint James) "Oh, that's all right with me. I mean, I could never really get my s*** together till 7:00, anyway."

• (Susan Saint James) "Can I get you anything?"
• (George Hamilton) "A broom, perhaps?"
• (Susan Saint James) "Eh? Oh, I hate housework. It killed my mother."

• (Susan Saint James) ": So that's where you've been for the last two days, and I thought you were lost."

Arte Johnson as Renfield

• (Arte Johnson) "Master. We hit the jackpot."
• (George Hamilton) "Only in America. Plastic disposable bodies. It's like a supermarket."

• (Stewardess) "Pardon me. Would you like chicken Kiev, Chateaubriand or veal cutlet Florentine for lunch?"
• (Arte Johnson) "Everything you mentioned is dead. Don't you have anything that's alive and kicking?"
• (Lady on plane with Cat) "I'll have the chicken Kiev, miss. Oh, why don't you bring a nice juicy mouse for little Salome here?"
• (Arte Johnson) "Could I have one, too?"

• (Arte Johnson) "Master, please be careful."
• (George Hamilton) "What is it?"
• (Arte Johnson) "You nearly stepped on my dinner."
• (George Hamilton) "Forgive me. Bon appetit."

• (Nurse at Bloodbank) "If you two freaks don't get out of here, I AM GOING TO SCREAM MY HEAD OFF."
• (Arte Johnson) "If you scream loudly, they'll think you where frightened by a mouse."

• (Arte Johnson) "I think they're from the government."
• (George Hamilton) "How do you know?"
• (Arte Johnson) "They're wearing shoes."

• (Arte Johnson) "You have 30 seconds to tell me where Miss Sondheim is, or --"
• (Cindy's Modeling Agent) "Or what? You'll eat your lunch in my office?"
• (Arte Johnson) "No-o-o, my lunch will eat you."

Dick Shawn as Lieutenant Ferguson

• (Doctor Jeff Rosenberg) "Look at this. It's him."
• (Dick Shawn) "Yeah -- or a rock group."

• (Dick Shawn) "You know we can't go in there without a warrant."
• (Richard Benjamin) "If we don't, her immortal soul will be lost forever."
• (Dick Shawn) "If we do I'll lose my pension."

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