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Life Stinks Quotes

Life Stinks is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Life Stinks ended its run in 1970.

It features Mel Brooks as producer, John Morris (composer) in charge of musical score, and Steven Poster as head of cinematography.

Life Stinks is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Life Stinks is 92 minutes long. Life Stinks is distributed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

The cast includes: Mel Brooks as Goddard Bolt, Rudy De Luca as J. Paul Getty, Theodore Wilson as Fumes, Howard Morris as Sailor, Lesley Ann Warren as Molly, Jeffrey Tambor as Vance Crasswell, and Jeffrey Tambor as A man sitting/leaning back, on a building..

Life Stinks Quotes

Mel Brooks as Goddard Bolt

  • (Mel Brooks) "They force me to live in the crap, and now they're taking the crap away? No."
  • (Mel Brooks) "I did it. I did it."
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "Where did he do it? Not here, I hope."
  • (Mel Brooks) "Sailor, wherever you are --"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "He's in there --"
  • (Mel Brooks) "I know."
  • (Mel Brooks) "Sailor, you were a little man, often covered with dirt and filth and -- the last thing that you ate. But your heart was always good and clean. And I hope you get your final wish, and your ashes make it out to sea."
  • (Mel Brooks) "Good luck."

Howard Morris as Sailor

  • (Howard Morris) "Pops ain't gonna be around long; his 'elevens' are up."
  • (Mel Brooks) "What?"
  • (Howard Morris) "His elevens. Look at the back of his neck. You see them two cords, stickin' out? They make, like, an 'eleven'. Once they're up that's it. He's a goner."
  • (Theodore Wilson) "Maybe he'll come back in the world as somethin' better. Personally, when I die, I'd like to come back as a bird."
  • (Howard Morris) "Why?"
  • (Theodore Wilson) "Ohhh, because man, I could fly free, and easy, and if I saw someone I really didn't care for, I'd drop a hot one on 'em."
  • (Howard Morris) "When I die, I want to be 'excramated' and I want my ashes sprinkled in the old briny. At least I'd be part of the sea forever, and ever."
  • (Theodore Wilson) "Oh, that's beautiful, man, beautiful. Like when I die, I want to go just like my daddy, boom. Peaceful, in his sleep."
  • (Howard Morris) "Yeah, they told me my grandmother died peacefully in her sleep. It's a good way to go."
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Nobody dies peacefully, in their sleep. It's what they tell people, to make them feel good. Want to know how people really die, in their sleep?"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Okay. First, they go to bed."
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Ahhhhh, mmm -- Then, about two in the morning, they go --"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Ahhh. Oh. Get a doct --"
  • (Theodore Wilson) "I ain't never goin' to sleep again."

Theodore Wilson as Fumes

  • (Newscaster) "-- the ceremony has erupted into pandemonium. As of yet, I'm not exactly sure what's happening --"
  • (Theodore Wilson) "This is Fumes, reporting from downtown, and I'll tell you what's happenin'. The rich and famous are having a party in our neighborhood, and we f***ed it up. Ha Ha."
  • (Theodore Wilson) "Back to you, Walter --"
  • (Newscaster) "Is this going out live? Are we live? Oh, jeez --"

Jeffrey Tambor as Vance Crasswell

  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "An office is no place to do business."
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "Excuse me, I'm sorry, am I interrupting? I'm interrupting, aren't I? Yeah, I should go. I should go, because this is wrong. It's stupid, it's wrong, it's morally and ethically wrong for me to even be here, isn't it? Because we all know that your client only has two days to go to win the bet. It looks like he's going to win it; therefore I have no business even being here, do I?"
  • (Jeffrey Tambor) "I'm just gonna put it simply, gentlemen: Would you consider -- betraying -- the man for whom you've worked ten years -- in exchange for; how do you say this; just a s***load of money?"

Rudy De Luca as J. Paul Getty

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Lesley Ann Warren as Molly

  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "I know you wanna give up, but you're wrong. Even without money, life is good."
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "No? What about when-when you didn't eat for two days and then you had your first big meal at the mission? Wasn't that good?"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Remember the other night? When we drank champagne and danced -- and rolled around in rags?"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "I know they're only moments, but that's all life is: Just a bunch of moments. Most of them are lousy -- but once in a while, you steal a good one."
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Come on. Come on back to me. Don't be such a selfish bastard. You're the only person I can stand."
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Don't leave me. I love you. Please. Don't leave me."
  • (Mel Brooks) "Molly, you're crying. What happened? Somebody die?"
  • (Lesley Ann Warren) "Somebody lived."

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