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Lethal Weapon Quotes

Lethal Weapon is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Lethal Weapon completed its run in 1970.

It features Richard Donner as producer, Michael Kamen in charge of musical score, and Stephen Goldblatt as head of cinematography.

Lethal Weapon is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Lethal Weapon is 110 minutes long. Lethal Weapon is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh, Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs, Gary Busey as Mr. Joshua, Jimmie F. Skaggs as Drug Dealer #3, Jimmie F. Skaggs as Drug Dealer #1, Jimmie F. Skaggs as Drug Dealer #2, Mitchell Ryan as McAllister, Ed O'Ross as Mendez, Traci Wolfe as Rianne Murtaugh, Mitchell Ryan as McAlister, and Lycia Naff as Dixie.

Lethal Weapon Quotes

Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh

  • (Danny Glover) "You're not trying to draw a psycho pension. You really are crazy."
  • (Danny Glover) "What do you do, sleep with that thing under your pillow?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "I would if I slept."
  • (Danny Glover) "See how easy that was? Boom, still alive. Now we question him. You know why we question him? Because I got him in the leg. I didn't shoot him full of holes or try to jump off a building with him."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Hey, that's no fair. The building guy lived."
  • (Danny Glover) "50 years old, what a birthday, goddamn 50 years old, been on the force 20 years, not a scratch on me, not a scar, got a wife, kids, a house, a fishing boat, but I can kiss all that goodbye because my new partner has a death wish, my fucking life is over"
  • (Mel Gibson) "I was --"
  • (Danny Glover) "Just shut up you hear, why are you talking to me anyway, I'm a dead man, yeah fuck it, you're looking a dead man here"
  • (Mel Gibson) "watch, watch, WATCH --"
  • (Danny Glover) "Don't worry, I was driving before you were itching in your daddy's pants"
  • (Danny Glover) "No way you live. No way."
  • (Danny Glover) "Heroin. You got off easy, you son of a bitch."
  • (Danny Glover) "I guess we need to register you as a Lethal Weapon."
  • (Danny Glover) "Like I said, thin."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Probably nothing."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What are you, a fag?"
  • (Danny Glover) "Your coat's on fire."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Probably nothing."
  • (Danny Glover) "Thin, very thin."
  • (Danny Glover) "General McAlister. Time for you to die."
  • (Danny Glover) "Hey, Riggs, you really like my wife's cookin'?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Nope, I'll see you tomorrow."
  • (Danny Glover) "Why is there a problem?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "There's no problem."
  • (Danny Glover) "We got one dead girl and one dead guy. The dead guy kills the dead girl, we kill the dead guy 'cause he wanted us to be dead guys; it's pretty easy to me."
  • (Beat Cop) "Had a jumper here last night, Dixie was walking by, saw the whole thing."
  • (Danny Glover) "You got a statement from her, send her home."
  • (Lycia Naff) "Oh, thanks, I'm beat. You know how it is --"
  • (Danny Glover) "Yeah, yeah, sure. All dressed up and no one to blow."
  • (Lycia Naff) "You're hilarious. God, I don't believe this --"
  • (Danny Glover) "Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier -- you saved my life. Thank you."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Oh, I'll bet that hurt to say."
  • (Danny Glover) "You'll never know."
  • (Danny Glover) "You're breathing, you're alive, you're not dead. No, don't die. You're not dead until I tell I tell you, you got that? You got that, Riggs? You're not dead until I tell you. You got that, Riggs. You're not dead until I tell you."
  • (Danny Glover) "I'm too old for this shit."
  • (Danny Glover) "Looking for your general friend? He's barbecuing his nuts on Hollywood Boulevard."
  • (Danny Glover) "I'm too old for this --"
  • (Unnamed) "The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh."
  • (Danny Glover) "Go spit."
  • (Danny Glover) "That's pretty fucking thin."
  • (Mel Gibson) "That's very thin."
  • (Danny Glover) "What the hell, thin's my middle name."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised."
  • (Danny Glover) "What? What?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Nothin'."
  • (Danny Glover) "Remarks like that will not get you invited to Christmas dinner."
  • (Mel Gibson) "My luck's changing for the better every day."
  • (Danny Glover) "Martin. Let me take him for you, Riggs. Let me take him."
  • (Mel Gibson) "NO."
  • (Danny Glover) "PLEASE."
  • (Mel Gibson) "NO."
  • (Mel Gibson) "BACK OFF."
  • (Danny Glover) "Hey, Riggs."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yo."
  • (Danny Glover) "Riggs, if you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Well, I got news for you, Rog: I'm not crazy."
  • (Danny Glover) "I know."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Well, good. Let's eat."
  • (Danny Glover) "Pretty thin, huh?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Anorexic."
  • (Danny Glover) "Get that shit off my lawn."
  • (Danny Glover) "Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Well, I haven't killed you yet."
  • (Danny Glover) "I was driving before you were a itch in your daddy's pants."

Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs

  • (Unnamed) "What have you got in mind?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Well, I want you to come home and watch television with me."
  • (Unnamed) "You serious?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah. "The 3 Stooges" are on in 20 minutes."
  • (Mel Gibson) "You're General Peter McAlister, Commander of Shadow Company."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "I see we've heard of each other."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yep. It'll almost be a shame when I nail you."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Roger, that's a Special Forces tattoo."
  • (Danny Glover) "No kidding."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah."
  • (Danny Glover) "Special forces tattoo, mercury switches, what the hell have we gotten into?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yep. I wonder if there're any openings at the L.A. Fire Department."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Maybe there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Give this to your dad for me, it's a present, I don't need it anymore."
  • (Traci Wolfe) "It's a bullet."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah, he'll know what it's for."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Roger."
  • (Danny Glover) "What?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Uh, 10-4."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked."
  • (Danny Glover) "Guess what?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "What?"
  • (Danny Glover) "I don't want to work with you."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Hey, don't."
  • (Danny Glover) "Ain't got no choice. Looks like we both been fucked."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Terrific."
  • (Danny Glover) "God hates me. That's what it is."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Hate him back; it works for me."
  • (Mel Gibson) "How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?"
  • (Gary Busey) "Don't mind if I do."
  • (Mel Gibson) "You know you're not the first guy to thinnk of this you know. A lot people have got problems especially during the silly season like now."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "You know shit."
  • (Mel Gibson) "No, you're wrong, pal, you're wrong."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "You don't know nothing. Don't touch me."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Take it easy."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "Look, I didn't don any thing wrong."
  • (Mel Gibson) "I know that. It's not like your murdering anyone or anything."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "That's right."
  • (Mel Gibson) "That's right."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "The only one I hurt was me. Me."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Same way I feel. I know you're hurting. I get it. OK now, come on."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "Don't come near me."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Come on. Give me a break, will ya guy. My boss is down there and he's watching us and I gotta make it look like I'm at least trying to save you. Come on. Im just gonna stand here and talk to you. That's all."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "You won't try nothing."
  • (Mel Gibson) "No. I'm square with you. I won't try a thing. I won't try a thing."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "Really."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What, do you think I want to fall off? I promise, I'll just talk to you."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "OK. Alright."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Here, do you want a cigarette. Come on, lets smoke, OK."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "Yeah."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Go on, take it yeah. If we take our time we will both die of cancer."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Here."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "Hey, what are you doing."
  • (Mel Gibson) "See this key? Bye-bye."
  • (McCleary, Attempted Suicide Jumper) "You're crazy."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Now you can jump if you want to, but you'll be taking me with you and that makes you a muderer."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Think I saw this house on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless --"
  • (Mel Gibson) "I do it real good, you know."
  • (Danny Glover) "Do what?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos from a thousand yards out. It was a rifle shot in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It's the only thing I was ever good at. Well, see ya tomorrow."
  • (Danny Glover) "Yeah, see you."
  • (Danny Glover) "Hey Riggs. You really like my wife's cooking?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "No. See you tomorrow."
  • (Mel Gibson) "I don't make things complicated. That's the way they get, all by themselves."
  • (Mel Gibson) "The guy who shot me. The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker."
  • (Danny Glover) "You sure?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole."
  • (Mel Gibson) "You don't trust me at all, do you?"
  • (Danny Glover) "Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Fair enough."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What are you, a fag?"
  • (Danny Glover) "The coat's on fire."
  • (Mel Gibson) "You want me to drive?"
  • (Danny Glover) "No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal."
  • (Mel Gibson) "I didn't know that."
  • (Danny Glover) "What?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "That it was your birthday today."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yesterday."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Well, happy birthday for yesterday."
  • (Mel Gibson) "I mean that, sincerely, happy birthday, man."
  • (Danny Glover) "Thanks."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Do you really wanna jump? Do you wanna? Well then thats fine with me. Come on, lets do it asshole. Let's do it. I wanna do it. I wanna do it."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What did he mean when he said you owed him?"
  • (Danny Glover) "We served together in '65. Ia Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs."
  • (Mel Gibson) "That was nice of him."

Gary Busey as Mr. Joshua

  • (Gary Busey) "Hit him again."
  • (Gary Busey) "Hit him again."
  • (Gary Busey) "C'mon, tell me about the shipment."
  • (Mel Gibson) "I swear I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you."
  • (Gary Busey) "Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now what about the shipment ?"
  • (Gary Busey) "General, Mr. Mendez is here."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Ah, Mr. Mendez. How are you?"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Hey, I'm fine."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Where the hell did you get him? Psychos 'R Us?"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "I don't think you're funny."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "I don't think this whole goddamn setup's funny. You're using mercenaries, for chrissake, tell me I'm wrong."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "No. You're not wrong."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "And you expect me to trust these fuckin' bozos?"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "My people are loyal, Mr. Mendez. They are loyal to me."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Ohhh, bullshit --"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Do you smoke?"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "What the hell does that got to do with anything, do I smoke --"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Do you smoke?"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Yeah."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Give me your lighter."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "My -- my lighter?"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Your lighter."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Yeah, okay right here -- here, take it --"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Hey, man, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Aw, Jesus --"
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Shut your mouth. Shut up. And don't move."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Mr. Joshua, your left arm, please --"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Hey, you guys are fuckin' gone -- you know what I'm sayin'? -- Aw, Jesus Christ."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "You guys are fuckin' crazy, man. Come on."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "Have Endo look at that, Mr. Joshua."
  • (Gary Busey) "Yes, sir."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "You wish to do business with us, yes? You wish to make a purchase, yes?"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Yes, yes, Jesus Christ, yes -- Ya know, you guys are out there like fuckin' Pluto, man. You're gone."
  • (Mitchell Ryan) "The bulk of the heroin will be here Friday night, we'll make delivery at that time. Have the money ready, and no tricks. If you try anything -- you'll have to talk to Mr. Joshua. Merry Christmas."
  • (Gary Busey) "Mind if I test drive your Audi?"
  • (Unnamed) "Tell me, what day is it?"
  • (Unnamed) "What day?"
  • (Gary Busey) "Goddamn Christmas."
  • (Gary Busey) "Good afternoon Mr. Mendez."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Yeah, how you doing?"
  • (Gary Busey) "Did you pat him down Mr. Larch?"
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Aw hey man, we went through this act already --"
  • (Gary Busey) "Go through it again."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Who are you?"
  • (Gary Busey) "That's hardly important but if it matters you may call me Mr. Joshua."
  • (Gary Busey) "Let's go."
  • (Ed O'Ross) "Oh, great, swell, Mr. Joshua, huh?"

Jimmie F. Skaggs as Drug Dealer #3

  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Good, huh? Tasty? Smooth?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah, that's good --"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Here ya go, pal --"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Thanks. Okay, so let's do it. How much?"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "How much for how much?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "For all of it."
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "You want it all. He wants it all."
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "He wants it all, beautiful. Congratulations."
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "All right."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Maybe a nice six footer to put it under, huh?"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "You want a tree? I'll tell you what. I'll give you the best tree I got on the lot, for nothin'. But the shit's gonna cost ya -- a hundred."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What, that much?"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Hey, you said you liked it, that's a fair price."
  • (Mel Gibson) "Yeah -- yeah. Hell, you only live once -- get this together here --"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Twenty, forty, sixty, seventy --"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Hey, what the fuck --"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Hey, man -- Hey."
  • (Mel Gibson) "C'mon, shut up man, I'm losin' count -- Ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety --"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Forget it, you dumbshit. One hundred THOUSAND. One hundred THOUSAND, DOLLARS."
  • (Mel Gibson) "A hundred thousand?"
  • (Mel Gibson) "I'm sorry, I can't afford that, not on my salary. But I'll tell ya what, I got a better idea, here. Let me say I take the whole stash of your hands for free, and you assholes can go to jail."
  • (Mel Gibson) "What do you say about that? Now I could read you guys your rights, but ah, you guys already know what your rights are, don't you?"
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "This badge ain't real. YOU ain't real."
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "No, but you sure are a crazy son of a bitch."
  • (Mel Gibson) "You think I'm crazy? You call me crazy, you think I'm crazy? You wanna see crazy?"
  • (Mel Gibson) ". Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun."
  • (Jimmie F. Skaggs) "Okay, pal --"
  • (Mel Gibson) "Hey, noses in the dirt, asshole --"

Mitchell Ryan as McAllister

  • (Mitchell Ryan) "There's no more heroes left in the world."

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