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Lake Placid (film) Quotes

Lake Placid (film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Lake Placid stopped airing in 1970.

It features David E. Kelley, Michael Pressman, and Peter Bogart as producer, John Ottman in charge of musical score, and Daryn Okada as head of cinematography.

Lake Placid (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Lake Placid (film) is 82 minutes long. Lake Placid (film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Brendan Gleeson as Sheriff Hank Keough, Betty White as Mrs. Bickerman, Oliver Platt as Hector, Oliver Platt as Hector Cyr, Bridget Fonda as Kelly Scott, Bill Pullman as Jack Wells, Adam Arkin as Kevin, and Meredith Salenger as Deputy Sharon Gare.

Lake Placid (film) Quotes

Oliver Platt as Hector

  • (Oliver Platt) "Sheriff, think about being rich. My parents had the added luxury of ditching me off at karate school on a regular basis. I am a brown belt, go ahead, take your best shot, take your best --"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "He said he knew karate."
  • (Bill Pullman) "You hit him."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "I did, yeah."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Did he say "go"? Aren't you supposed to say "go" in karate? You're supposed to say "go"."
  • (Oliver Platt) "I'm sorry about your deputy -- whenever someone dies, I always feel like it's such a waste that I didn't know them any better."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "I'm sorry for your loss, Hector."
  • (Oliver Platt) "That's not really what I meant."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "His head was just -- bitten off."
  • (Oliver Platt) "I used to have a recurring nightmare that I was headless. I'd be down on the ground looking up at my headless body, watching myself walk around the yard bumping into things, and my parents wouldn't let me in the house because they'd just bought all these antique lamps didn't want me to knock them over, the f***ers. Then the neighborhood kids came by, saw my severed head lying on the ground and started a game of kickball, and as I was being kicked around, I actually just felt grateful for being allowed in the game -- What are your thoughts?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "I could probably cut him down but there's this odd look of mayhem on his upside-down face"
  • (Oliver Platt) "Splendid lake, eh? Became a man on a lake like this. Rubber raft, Sophie Blake -- She gave like a cow."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Is this the man that was killed?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "He seemed -- taller."
  • (Oliver Platt) "What'd Bickerman say?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Well, she didn't want to tell us about the second croc 'cause she was afraid we'd blow its head off."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Women's intuition."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You're supposed to say 'go' in karate. You face each other, you bow, and you say go."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Yeah, as in go f*** yourself."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You know, sheriff, when friends or family say certain things, they tend not to register. So it helps to hear it from a complete stranger -- you're fat."
  • (Oliver Platt) "I'm a civilian, not a trout; you have no authority over me whatsoever."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Law enforcement is very dangerous work isn't it?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "And you have such big, wonderful boobs."
  • (Meredith Salenger) "Ha. Thank you."
  • (Oliver Platt) "You got to fire your big gun. Did it meet your expectations?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Overrated."
  • (Oliver Platt) "He bit me. He bit me. There's two. There's two."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "I can count."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Back to one."

Betty White as Mrs. Bickerman

  • (Betty White) "Oh, my husband passed away. It's been almost two years now."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "My department doesn't have any record of that, Mrs. Bickerman."
  • (Betty White) "Well, I'm sorry. Incomplete records haunt me so."
  • (Bill Pullman) "What was the cause of your husband's death, ma'am? Do you know?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "We don't mean to invade your privacy, but was he ill, was he sick?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Was he swallowed?"
  • (Betty White) "Dig him up if you don't believe me Sherlock"
  • (Betty White) "Murders and rapes in the city, people bomb planes, can the police stop 'em? No. But feed one little cow to a crocodile --"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "You're gonna stay right here until the police show. You're under full house arrest."
  • (Betty White) "Thank you, officer f***-meat."
  • (Betty White) "I'll sue you."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Go ahead."
  • (Betty White) "You can't take a cow by eminent domain."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "We just did."
  • (Bill Pullman) "We won't let her get hurt, Ma'am."
  • (Betty White) "You're all cocksuckers. I knew it first, I just didn't want to say it."
  • (Betty White) "I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole. You might want to arrest me for that too. Is that a crime? To wish the chewing of law enforcement?"
  • (Betty White) "Come and get it."

Brendan Gleeson as Sheriff Hank Keough

  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Look. He's suffering. I get to be humane."
  • (Oliver Platt) "No. No. No, no, no look, he's trapped. We've done it. So what it's not a net but, but, but he's trapped. Mission accomplished."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Shoot him."
  • (Oliver Platt) "I've got more drugs. He's half dead."
  • (Bill Pullman) "He's half alive. Shoot him."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Quit hitting me."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Stop throwing heads at me."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "I brought a pork chop for luck. Maybe you could hang it around your neck."
  • (Oliver Platt) "That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "The tooth is in here."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Well that's -- that's the morgue."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Yes."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Well, uh -- is the dead guy in there?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "That's where they keep 'em. Look, you want me to bring the tooth out here?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "No. No, let's -- after you."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Crocodiles can't swim in salt water."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Yeah, well, that'll be your little secret."
  • (Unnamed) "He paid us. Five hundred."
  • (Unnamed) "It's a trap."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "You accepted money from him?"
  • (Unnamed) "We took a check."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Tents were sent ahead. Should already be set up by the time we get there."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Tents? We're staying in TENTS?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "I told you, two days we'd have to camp."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Yes. Camp. But I thought that meant Ramada Inn. I never heard tents. Will there be toilets?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Maybe we should just take you back."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Why? Because I prefer toilets?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Maybe I should just wipe myself with some leafy little piece of poison oak. And then I can spend the whole day scratchin' my ass, blendin' in with the natives."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "We're saved. The museum in New York just sent us some additional backup."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Kelly Scott."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Jack Wells."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Hi."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Eh, some museum sent ya', huh?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "What, are we all museum bigots in Maine?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "She's rude sarcastic. You two should get along."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Oh God, we forgot to pack feminine napkins."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "We, uh, trapped him with our chopper."

Meredith Salenger as Deputy Sharon Gare

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Bill Pullman as Jack Wells

  • (Bill Pullman) "It's not a science trip."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Something in that lake killed somebody, all right? I appreciate your trying to help. I'm really glad that you -- brought the RAID."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "There, that's better."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Ma'am --"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Look, if you call me "ma'am" one more time I'll sue you, and with today's laws, it's possible."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "She's good."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Do you know how your husband died?"
  • (Betty White) "Oh yes. I killed him."
  • (Bill Pullman) "You killed him?"
  • (Betty White) "Oh yes."

Bridget Fonda as Kelly Scott

  • (Bridget Fonda) "Did you want to be killed by it?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "You think I'm that nuts?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Hector, what you just did, there had to be some sort of death wish going on."
  • (Oliver Platt) "In ancient Malenesia people suspected of crime's would be thrown to the crocodiles. Crocodiles would decide. They would be the judge."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Oh, so that was you wanting to be judged out there?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "Maybe I was, and so what? Is that too arbitrary? Better to be measured by my wealth? Better for me to get my self-esteem looking into the eyes of cheap sycophants craving a meal ticket? There was more honesty in those dragon's eyes. There was more dignity in those dragon's eyes --"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Jesus, Hector cut the s***."
  • (Oliver Platt) "Aw, f*** it."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "You hurt his feelings."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I don't care."
  • (Bill Pullman) "Do you care?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "No, he's an asshole."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "I gotta thing about worms."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Doesn't anyone "make a move" around here in Maine?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Get in."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "You move a bag and that's it? That's your "move"?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Come on, I know a good bar where we can get some beers."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Are the glasses clean?"
  • (Bill Pullman) "Uhh -- yeah. Are you gonna complain like this all night?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Start the car Jack."
  • (Bill Pullman) "I miss the crocodile already."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "What kind of backup do we have?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "We?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "What?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Well, I'm a little unclear as to why the museum would send somebody here."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "You got a thing against museums?"
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Naw, I got nothin' against museums."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Ever been in one?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "I will NOT calm down. This is the second time I've been hit with a severed head and I DON'T LIKE IT."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "He thinks they're godly."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "What was that?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "In his defense, every primitive culture known to man deified them: ancient China, Egypt, Australia, Asia -- Going back in history, crocodiles have been more worshipped than Jesus."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Is this supposed to make us take him more seriously?"
  • (Bridget Fonda) "No, it's supposed to make you understand him."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "His scales were oval. He's an Asian Crocodile."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Why -- why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?"
  • (Oliver Platt) "Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "The lake is so black and still."
  • (Brendan Gleeson) "Yeah, we wanted to call it Lake Placid, but someone said that name was taken."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "I gotta thing about mosquitoes."

Adam Arkin as Kevin

  • (Adam Arkin) "Hey."
  • (Bridget Fonda) "Oh, hey Kevin. What's going on? What's happening? How's it goin'? How's your family? Good? That's great, it's so nice to see you. f*** off."

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