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Kung Fu Panda Quotes

Kung Fu Panda is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Kung Fu Panda ended in 1970.

It features Melissa Cobb as producer, Hans Zimmer in charge of musical score, and Yong Duk Jhun as head of cinematography.

Kung Fu Panda is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Kung Fu Panda is 92 minutes long. Kung Fu Panda is distributed by Paramount Picturesref 1 and 1.

The cast includes: Jack Black as Po, Randall Duk Kim as Oogway, James Hong as Mr. Ping, Dustin Hoffman as Shifu, Seth Rogen as Mantis, Ian McShane as Tai Lung, Angelina Jolie as Tigress, David Cross as Crane, Jackie Chan as Monkey, Lucy Liu as Viper, Dan Fogler as Zeng, and Michael Clarke Duncan as Commander Vachir.

Kung Fu Panda Quotes

Ian McShane as Tai Lung

  • (Ian McShane) "Shifu taught you well."
  • (Ian McShane) "But he didn't teach you everything."
  • (Ian McShane) "I rotted in jail for 20 years because of YOUR weakness."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Obeying your master is not weakness."
  • (Ian McShane) "You knew I was the Dragon Warrior. You always knew. But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? NOTHING."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior. That was not my fault."
  • (Ian McShane) "Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "It was never my decision to make."
  • (Ian McShane) "It is now. Give me the Scroll."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I would rather die."
  • (Ian McShane) "I'm glad Shifu sent you. I was beginning to think I'd been forgotten --"
  • (Ian McShane) "Go and tell Shifu that the REAL Dragon Warrior is coming home."
  • (Ian McShane) "Where's the Dragon Warrior?"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "How do you know you're not looking at her?"
  • (Ian McShane) "You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you. I heard how he fell from the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen."
  • (Jackie Chan) "Po?"
  • (Ian McShane) "So that is his name. Po. At last, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary."
  • (Ian McShane) "Everything I did, I did to make you proud. Tell me how proud you are Shifu. Tell me. TELL ME."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I have always been proud of you. From the first moment I've been -- proud of you. And it was my pride that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I -- was turning you into. I'm s -- I'm sorry."
  • (Ian McShane) "I don't want your apology. I want my scroll."
  • (Ian McShane) "Finally -- oh, yes -- at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll is mine --"
  • (Ian McShane) "It's nothing."
  • (Jack Black) "It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either."
  • (Ian McShane) "What?"
  • (Jack Black) "There is no secret ingredient. It's just you."
  • (Ian McShane) "The Scroll has given him power. NOOO."
  • (Ian McShane) "The Wuxi finger hold."
  • (Jack Black) "Oh, you know this hold?"
  • (Ian McShane) "You're bluffing. You're bluffing. Shifu didn't teach you that."
  • (Jack Black) "Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh."
  • (Ian McShane) "Who are you?"
  • (Jack Black) "Buddy, I -- am the Dragon Warrior."
  • (Ian McShane) "You?"
  • (Ian McShane) "He's a panda. You're a panda. What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?"
  • (Jack Black) "Don't tempt me."

Jackie Chan as Monkey

  • (Jackie Chan) "He's too fast -- Sorry, Po."

Dustin Hoffman as Shifu

  • (Dustin Hoffman) "There is now a level zero."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Master. I have -- it's very bad news."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Master, your vision. Your vision was right. Tai-Lung has broken out of prison. He's on his way."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "That IS bad news."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Let us begin."
  • (Jack Black) "What? Well, uh, I don't know if I can do all those moves --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Well, we'll never know unless we try, will we?"
  • (Jack Black) "Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "And what level is that?"
  • (Jack Black) "Uh, well, I'm not a master but, let's just say zero, level zero."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "There is no such thing as level zero."
  • (Jack Black) "Well, what about that?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Well done, students -- if you were trying to disappoint me."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You have done well, Panda."
  • (Jack Black) "Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "-- awesome."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You cannot leave. A real warrior never quits."
  • (Jack Black) "Watch me."
  • (Jack Black) "Come on. How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior."
  • (Jack Black) "You don't believe that."
  • (Jack Black) "You never believed that. From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Yes. I was. But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine."
  • (Jack Black) "You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed."
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah, I stayed. I stayed, because every time you threw a brick at my head, or said I smelled, it hurt; but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought, if anyone can change me, can make me -- not me, it was you. The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But I can change you. I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior. And I will."
  • (Jack Black) "Come on. Tai Lung is on his way here right now. And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I don't know."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I don't know."
  • (Jack Black) "That's what I thought."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "The panda?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Yes, the panda."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Master, please."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "No. It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Where'd he go?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "After you, Panda."
  • (Jack Black) "What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Enjoy."
  • (Jack Black) "Hey."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You are free. To eat."
  • (Jack Black) "Am I?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "ARE you?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you learn the secret of the Dragon Scroll."
  • (Jack Black) "Oh. So, how does this work, do you have a ladder or a trampoline or something?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You think it's that easy, that I'm just going to hand you the secret to limitless power? No. One must first master the very highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible when that one is someone like you."
  • (Jack Black) "Someone like me?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Yes. Look at you."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "This fat butt. Flabby arms."
  • (Jack Black) "Ow. Those are sensitive in the flabby parts."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "This ridiculous belly."
  • (Jack Black) "Hey."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "And your utter disregard for personal hygiene."
  • (Jack Black) "Now wait a minute, that's a little uncalled for."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath."
  • (Jack Black) "Listen, Oogway said that I was --"
  • (Jack Black) "The Wuxi finger hold. No, not the Wuxi finger hold."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Oh-hoho, you know this hold."
  • (Jack Black) "Developed by Master Wuxi in the third dynasty, yes."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky --"
  • (Jack Black) "No no no no."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part -- is cleaning up afterwards."
  • (Jack Black) "Okay, okay take it easy --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't. Are we clear?"
  • (Jack Black) "Oh, yeah. We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Good. I can't wait to get started."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "This'll be easier than I thought."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate -- you stink."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you, is with this."
  • (Jack Black) "Oh great, 'cause I'm hungry."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Good. When you have been trained, you may eat."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Let us begin."

Jack Black as Po

  • (Jack Black) "You -- dragged me all the way up here -- for a bath?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears."
  • (Jack Black) "The Pool of-?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This -- is the birthplace of kung fu."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Do you want to learn kung fu?"
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Then I am your master."
  • (Jack Black) "Okay."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Don't cry."
  • (Jack Black) "Okay."
  • (Jack Black) "Careful, that soup is -- sharp."
  • (Jack Black) "You wanna get something to eat?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "-- Yeah."
  • (Jack Black) "Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Quit, don't quit -- Noodles, don't noodles -- You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
  • (Jack Black) "They're five MASTERS. I'm just one me."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But you will have the one thing no one else has."
  • (Jack Black) "Do you really think I'm ready?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "You are -- Po."
  • (Jack Black) "It's blank."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "What?"
  • (Jack Black) "Here, look."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "No, I am forbidden to look upon --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Blank --. I don't, I don't understand --"
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah, ha-ha-ha."
  • (Jack Black) "Skadoosh."
  • (Jack Black) "But dad, didn't you ever, I don't know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?"
  • (James Hong) "Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu."
  • (Jack Black) "So why didn't you?"
  • (James Hong) "Oh, because it was a stupid dream. Can you imagine me making tofu?"
  • (James Hong) "No. We all have our place in this world. Mine is here, and yours is --"
  • (Jack Black) "I know. Here."
  • (James Hong) "No, it's at tables two, five, seven and twelve. Service with a smile."
  • (Jack Black) "Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend."
  • (Jack Black) "Hey, guys --"
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Master."
  • (Jack Black) "Master? -- Master Shifu."
  • (Jack Black) "Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur. I'm a blur. You never seen Bear style."
  • (Jack Black) "There is no charge for awesomeness -- or attractiveness."
  • (Jack Black) "What?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "Oh, nothing -- Master Shifu."
  • (Jack Black) "Oh, yeah, yeah."
  • (Jack Black) "You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds, and brush your teeth."
  • (Jack Black) "What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it. Work hard, panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine."
  • (Jack Black) "No. The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army."
  • (Jack Black) "Hello?"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Have you finished sight-seeing?"
  • (Jack Black) "Oh, sorry. I should've come to see you first."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "My patience is wearing thin."
  • (Jack Black) "Oh. Well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere."
  • (Jack Black) "I'm not hungry -- Master."
  • (Jack Black) "Stop. I'm gonna pee."
  • (Jack Black) "I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you at least tell me where we're going?"
  • (Jack Black) "The Furious Five. You're so much bigger than your action figures. Except you, Mantis. You're about the same."
  • (Jack Black) "He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness."
  • (Jack Black) "Wow. I've only seen paintings of that painting."

Dan Fogler as Zeng

  • (Dan Fogler) "Can we run now?"
  • (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Yes."
  • (Dan Fogler) "We're dead. So very, very dead."
  • (Dan Fogler) "Tai Lung is free. I must warn Shifu."
  • (Michael Clarke Duncan) "You're not going anywhere, and neither is he."

James Hong as Mr. Ping

  • (James Hong) "We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins."
  • (James Hong) "The secret ingredient is -- nothing."
  • (Jack Black) "Huh?"
  • (James Hong) "You heard me. Nothing. There is no secret ingredient."
  • (Jack Black) "Wait, wait -- it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?"
  • (James Hong) "Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special."
  • (Jack Black) "There is no secret ingredient --"
  • (James Hong) "That's my boy. That beautiful kung-fu warrior is my son."
  • (Jack Black) "Thanks, Dad."

Lucy Liu as Viper

  • (Lucy Liu) "Monkey."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Go."
  • (Seth Rogen) "What was I thinking?"
  • (Lucy Liu) "Are you ready?"
  • (Jack Black) "I was born read --"
  • (Lucy Liu) "I'm sorry, Brother. I thought you said you were ready."
  • (Jack Black) "That was awesome. Let's go again."

Angelina Jolie as Tigress

  • (Angelina Jolie) "You don't belong here."
  • (Jack Black) "Right, I know. This is your room."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "No, I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning."
  • (Jack Black) "Big fan."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe."
  • (Jack Black) "I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. Gonna take a lot more than dew, and universe -- juice."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps."
  • (Jackie Chan) "But, he will."
  • (Lucy Liu) "He's not gonna quit, is he?"
  • (Seth Rogen) "He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before -- or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you. A big, fat, panda, who treats it like a joke."
  • (Angelina Jolie) "Oh that is it."
  • (Seth Rogen) "Wait, my fault. I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve."
  • (Seth Rogen) "And may -- have also stopped his heart."

Randall Duk Kim as Oogway

  • (Randall Duk Kim) "My time has come."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "What? What are you?"
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "You must now continue your journey without me."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "No. WAIT. Master. You can't leave me."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "You must believe --"
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "MASTER."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Illusion?"
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Yes."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But there are things we can control."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I can control when the fruit will fall."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I can control where to plant the seed. That is no illusion, Master."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Maybe it can, if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "But how? How? I need your help, master."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "I -- I will try."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Ah. I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom."
  • (Jack Black) "Is that what this is? I'm so sorry. I just thought it was a regular peach tree."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "I understand. You eat when you are upset."
  • (Jack Black) "Upset? I'm not upset. Why, what makes you think I'm upset?"
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "So why are you upset?"
  • (Jack Black) "I probably sucked more today than anybody in the history of kung fu. In the history of China. In the history of sucking."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "There are no accidents."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "There are no accidents."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Yes, I know. You said that already. Twice."
  • (Randall Duk Kim) "Well, that was no accident either."
  • (Dustin Hoffman) "Thrice."

Michael Clarke Duncan as Commander Vachir

  • (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Hey, tough guy. Did you hear? Oogway is about to give someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you."
  • (Dan Fogler) "What are you doing? Don't make him mad."
  • (Michael Clarke Duncan) "What's he gonna do? I've got him completely immobilized."
  • (Michael Clarke Duncan) "Oh, did I step on the widdle kitty's tail? Aw."

David Cross as Crane

  • (David Cross) "Look, you don't belong here."
  • (Jack Black) "Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's just -- All my life I have dreamed of --"
  • (David Cross) "I mean you don't belong here, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane."

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