Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) Quotes

Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Kicking &amp ended in 1970.

It features Jimmy Miller as producer, Mark Isham in charge of musical score, and Lloyd Ahern II as head of cinematography.

Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) is 95 minutes long. Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Will Ferrell as Phil Weston, Robert Duvall as Buck Weston, David Herman as Referee, Rachael Harris as Ann Hogan, Laura Kightlinger as Donna Jones, Alex Borstein as Obnoxious Hummer Lady, Erik Walker as Ambrose, Joseph R. Sicari as Umberto, Francesco Liotti as Gian Piero, Alessandro Ruggiero as Massimo, Steven Anthony Lawrence as Mark Avery, Kate Walsh as Barbara Weston, Dylan McLaughlin as Sam Weston, Elliott Cho as Byong Sun, Dallas McKinney as Connor, Peter Jason as Clark, Erik Walker as Ambrose's Dad, and Musetta Vander as Janice Weston.

Kicking and Screaming (2005 film) Quotes

Will Ferrell as Phil Weston

• (Will Ferrell) "C'mon, Sam. Get the circulation back in your skull."

• (Will Ferrell) "Take the field. Taka the fielda."

• (Unnamed) "Two, four, six, eight. Who do we appreciate?"
• (Mike Ditka) "Shut up, ya little rats."
• (Will Ferrell) "They're just showing their appreciation."
• (Mike Ditka) "I don't care about appreciation, I just want to win a soccer game."
• (Will Ferrell) "Can I have this?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Sure."
• (Will Ferrell) "Alllllright."

• (Will Ferrell) "I'm not like my old man, I'm a KIND and compassionate human BEING, with a HEART as big as a LION."

• (Will Ferrell) "Looks who's here. I'll give you a hint; Hall of Fame, Chicago Bears --"
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Sammy Sosa?"
• (Mike Ditka) "C'mon."
• (Will Ferrell) "Football -- coached the 1986 --"
• (Mike Ditka) "'85."
• (Will Ferrell) "Right, '85 Bears to Superbowl victory -- it's Mike Ditka."
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Do you know Sammy Sosa?"
• (Mike Ditka) "Hey, zip it, kid."

• (Will Ferrell) "Hi, I'm Phil Weston and this is my son, Sam. I'm new to coffee -- I was wondering if you could mix half of the regular version with half of the decaffinated version?"
• (Beantown Employees) "Half-caff --"
• (Beantown Customers) "Right, Half-caff."
• (Will Ferrell) "A Half-caff."
• (Will Ferrell) "We're gonna have a Half-caff."
• (Dylan McLaughlin) "We're gonna have a Half-caff."
• (Beantown Customers) "Yay."
• (Beantown Employees) "Half-caff."
• (Will Ferrell) "Thanks."
• (Will Ferrell) "Yowww. Mother of Pearl."
• (Beantown Employees) "You shoulda waited for the jacket."
• (Will Ferrell) "Right -- I just got too eager. Uh --"
• (Beantown Employees) "'nother Half-caff."
• (Beantown Customers) "Right, 'nother Half-caff."

• (Will Ferrell) "Well, if it isn't Porkface Jones. I can eat a box of cookies tonight. Can you do that? No. Because you're nothin' but a fart-faced kid."
• (Will Ferrell) "GET HIM OFF ME."
• (Will Ferrell) "That's like the little jackal from hell."

• (Will Ferrell) "How many sarcastic pills did you take this morning?"

• (Will Ferrell) "I am angry. I'm like a large tornado of anger, swirling about."

• (Will Ferrell) "What is that haunting aroma?"

• (Will Ferrell) "I'm really getting sick and tired of this 'Meat Comes First' thing."
• (Unnamed) "Happy Birthday to you. Happy --"
• (Will Ferrell) "Quiet please. Shut up. I'm on the phone and you're not the only ones in the park."

• (Mike Ditka) "Now this is gonna be the hardest, most difficult thing you ever attempted in your entire life. But you know what, when it's over --"
• (Will Ferrell) "Don't get emotional --"
• (Mike Ditka) "When it's over --"
• (Will Ferrell) "When it's over --"
• (Mike Ditka) "You guys are gonna be champions. My God, you're going to be champions."
• (Will Ferrell) "Champions."
• (Mike Ditka) "Now let's get out there and kick some butt."
• (Will Ferrell) "On three, 'let's have fun'."
• (Unnamed) "One, two, three, Let's have fun."
• (Mike Ditka) "'Let's have fun,' what's THAT?"

• (Will Ferrell) "This is Gian Piero and Massimo. They're apprentice butchers."
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Could the blacksmiths and candlestick makers not make it?"
• (Mike Ditka) "Shut up."

• (Will Ferrell) "OK, you caught me. The finches were a bad idea. And I wasn't gonna say anything, but I think some of them may have salmonella. A fair amount, in fact. I may have inadvertently poisoned your children."

• (Will Ferrell) "You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox."
• (Mike Ditka) "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy."
• (Mike Ditka) "You're crazy."
• (Will Ferrell) "I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty."
• (Mike Ditka) "OH, YOU GO TO HELL."
• (Will Ferrell) "No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox."

• (Will Ferrell) "You step on this field, this is all about you. I mean, I'm not gonna be the one, staying up late at night, you know, punching a hole through the window. Or crying myself to sleep. Or wetting my bed. Okay? That's not gonna be me, 'cause I'm fine, I got my vitamin store to go back to. I'm gonna be just great. I'm gonna be great."

• (Will Ferrell) "Pizza at my house."

• (Will Ferrell) "My dad, he's a coach. He knows the game, he's confident, he's smart, witty, dynamic, vicious, brutal, vindictive, a monster. And he will win by intimidation and forceful tactics if need be. I'm not like that. I don't know anyone like that. Do you?"
• (Mike Ditka) "So Paul, what's on your mind?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Actually, it's Phil."
• (Mike Ditka) "It's not Paul?"
• (Will Ferrell) "No."
• (Mike Ditka) "What's the difference? Spit it out."
• (Diana Ditka) "Mike?"
• (Mike Ditka) "Here, hold this."
• (Diana Ditka) "Oh no. We do not allow smoking in the house."
• (Will Ferrell) "I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka."
• (Diana Ditka) "You should be."
• (Mike Ditka) "I'll get rid of it, honey."

• (Will Ferrell) "All right, Tigers. Lets get ready to play, huh? I don't want to see any laziness here. If we win this we're in the finals. If we get a big lead, we gotta pummel these guys, pummel them at all costs. Dominate, and hammer them. I want you to play dirty, if you have to, but don't get caught. Byong Sun, stay low. Ok. That's easy for you. Just chop-block 'em in the back of the knee. That will work well. Ambrose, you're big. Don't be afraid to throw the elbow. If you break someone's collar bone, that's a good thing, that's what the medic's for. Otherwise he's just sittin' around. All right. You hear me."

• (Will Ferrell) "'Scuse me -- just -- don't do that with the cup, okay?"

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, I almost had you."
• (Robert Duvall) "What do you call that again, when you almost win? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah -- Losing."

• (Will Ferrell) "Ambrose"
• (Erik Walker) "Yeah?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I saw a bunch of nonsense out there. What was going through your head out there last week?"
• (Erik Walker) "I was breaking my back for you coach because of my love for the game."
• (Will Ferrell) "LIAR."

• (Will Ferrell) "Every time you say something back to me, it makes me love you more."
• (Robert Duvall) "Heh."

• (Will Ferrell) "I don't like coffee. It's a vasoconstrictor."

• (Will Ferrell) "These are instructional DVDs. Study them. Watch them. I only watched it once and already I learned this; it's called "Up and Over"."
• (Will Ferrell) "Here, hold this."
• (Kate Walsh) "Guys, I told you, no playing soccer in the house."
• (Will Ferrell) "You did, you said it a lot."
• (Kate Walsh) "Who did that?"
• (Will Ferrell) "He did."
• (Unnamed) "HE DID."
• (Will Ferrell) "What? Nut'uh."

• (Will Ferrell) "You either win, go on to greatness, or you lose, and probably face a series of cataclysmic events for the rest of your lives."

• (Will Ferrell) "Losers. Losers. Losers."

• (Will Ferrell) "So when i took over for Coach Benson --"
• (Peter Jason) "I hear he's a woman now."
• (Robert Duvall) "Yeah."
• (Will Ferrell) "Actually uh, truth be told, no one knows where he is right now. A lot of people are -- concerned."
• (Will Ferrell) "I don't know why that's funny."

• (Will Ferrell) "Mike Ditka scares me. Have you ever looked into his eyes? Or at his hair?"

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, you just were served a plate of humiliation. How does that feel?"

• (Will Ferrell) "Okay guys, I only want winners out on the field. Who's a winner? I said WHO'S A WINNER? Everyone's hand should be up."

• (Will Ferrell) "They're like 4-foot whirling dervishes. I don't even know what a whirling dervish is but that's what they're like."

• (Unnamed) "SHUT UP OUT THERE."
• (Will Ferrell) "YOU SHUT UP IN THERE."

• (Will Ferrell) "I was born a baby, a blank slate. I thought I was in control of my own destiny, and then I met my dad."

• (Will Ferrell) "Hey, you didn't have to take up two spaces."
• (Alex Borstein) "Actually, I did. Look at the size of this bad boy, huh?"
• (Alex Borstein) "This is cute, though. You're saving the environment for all of us. Go hemp. Ha ha."

• (Will Ferrell) "My heart rate is dangerously high right now."

Dylan McLaughlin as Sam Weston

• (Dylan McLaughlin) "How do you say pizza in Italian?"
• (Francesco Liotti) "Pizza."
• (Dylan McLaughlin) "How do you say "spaghetti"?"
• (Francesco Liotti) "Spaghetti."
• (Erik Walker) "Italian's easy."

• (Dylan McLaughlin) "Why are you whispering?"
• (Will Ferrell) "For dramatic effect."

• (Dylan McLaughlin) "You gotta lighten up."
• (Will Ferrell) "He started it."

Steven Anthony Lawrence as Mark Avery

• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Hi, I'm Mark Avery; you know, I like to keep my pimp hands strong"
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "You dig, Cracker? Ya feel me?"
• (Will Ferrell) "What does that mean?"
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "I don't know, I heard it on a rap video once. But I'm really funny. I've got like a million jokes."
• (Will Ferrell) "Great, I'd love to hear one. Shoot."
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Remember the time when you caught and you fell over?"
• (Will Ferrell) "Right, yeah --"
• (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "Ha ha. I got ya good. I burned ya. I got ya, bad."
• (Will Ferrell) "How did I get burned? Okay, apparently I don't get it."

Laura Kightlinger as Donna Jones

• (Laura Kightlinger) "Donna Jones. You can call me 'Chief.'"

Robert Duvall as Buck Weston

• (Robert Duvall) "We've got balls."
• (Will Ferrell) "And vitamins."
• (Robert Duvall) "But mostly balls."
• (Will Ferrell) "AND VITAMINS."

• (Robert Duvall) "Be warned, muchacho. You're in the show, now."

• (Robert Duvall) "You know how hard it's been for me ever since your mom died."
• (Will Ferrell) "She didn't die. She divorced you."
• (Robert Duvall) "Ehh -- tomatoes, tomahtoes."

• (Robert Duvall) "Oh, this oughtta be good. If we live long enough, we'll see Iron Mike and Aluminum Phil coaching the Tigers."
• (Mike Ditka) "I couldn't really hear ya, Weston. My Superbowl ring was making too much noise."

• (Robert Duvall) "I take a vitamin everyday. It's called a steak."

Elliott Cho as Byong Sun

• (Elliott Cho) "Look at me. I'm the Ref. I'm the Ref."
• (David Herman) "You little -- give it back."
• (Will Ferrell) "Sorry about that."
• (Unnamed) "How much do you think one of those things costs?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I have no idea."

• (Elliott Cho) "Whoo. It's electric in the air. Yeah."

Rachael Harris as Ann Hogan

• (Rachael Harris) "You ease up on him."
• (Will Ferrell) "You just ease up there on your corduroy jacket."

• (Rachael Harris) "We're at all the games, unlike a lot of the other parents."
• (Will Ferrell) "No no, not like the other parents at all. You're better than the other parents."
• (Erik Walker) "Oh, so they're better?"
• (Will Ferrell) "No, they're different."
• (Laura Kightlinger) "What do you mean "different"?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I mean, you're different because you're better."
• (Erik Walker) "How are they better?"
• (Will Ferrell) "You're both better different -- in a different but better way."
• (Rachael Harris) "Uh, okay."
• (Erik Walker) "It's a little early to start playing favorites, Phil."

• (Rachael Harris) "Coach Ditka? Hi. Our son, Byong Sun, he's very shy, and we were wondering"
• (Mike Ditka) "Sure, 'be happy to."
• (Rachael Harris) "Thank you so much. It's Byong Sun"
• (Rachael Harris) "B-Y --"
• (Mike Ditka) "I think I got it."
• (Mike Ditka) "Bye bye."
• (Mike Ditka) "Just -- a wonderful couple."
• (Rachael Harris) "What --"
• (Laura Kightlinger) ""Bing Bong"?"

• (Rachael Harris) "Hi, Mr.Ditka. I was wondering; my son byong-sun is a little shy, so could I get an autograph?"
• (Mike Ditka) "Yeah, sure, how do you spell it?"
• (Rachael Harris) "B-Y- --"
• (Mike Ditka) "I think I got it."
• (Laura Kightlinger) "Bing-bong?"

• (Rachael Harris) "Byong-Sun is very shy; this book really helped us to deal with it, so you're probably gonna want to give it a glance."
• (Will Ferrell) "My Child is Shy. Thanks."
• (Will Ferrell) "I'm sorry, who's your son?"
• (Laura Kightlinger) "Byong-Sun."
• (Will Ferrell) "Oh, I see."
• (Will Ferrell) "Actually, I don't see, I'm sorry."
• (Will Ferrell) "Oh wait, now I see. Wow."

Joseph R. Sicari as Umberto

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Dallas McKinney as Connor

• (Dallas McKinney) "Coach, did you order the pizzas yet?"
• (Will Ferrell) "All in good time, Connor. But in the event the pizzas don't arrive, I have already made the decision -- that we will eat Byong Sun."
• (Will Ferrell) "Okay, we're not gonna eat him. But he does look pretty appetizing, you have to admit."

Kate Walsh as Barbara Weston

• (Kate Walsh) "Phil, I love you --"
• (Will Ferrell) "What does THAT have to do with ANYTHING?"

David Herman as Referee

• (David Herman) "Where do I know you from?"
• (Will Ferrell) "I've been your neighbor for the last seven years."
• (David Herman) "No, that ain't it."
• (Will Ferrell) "That's definitely it."
• (David Herman) "I'll figure it out."

Alessandro Ruggiero as Massimo

• (Alessandro Ruggiero) "Mama Mia. You're a real DUFFER, you know?"

Musetta Vander as Janice Weston

• (Musetta Vander) "Hi, you guys."
• (Kate Walsh) "Hi."
• (Kate Walsh) "Hi, Buck."
• (Robert Duvall) "Hey it's my two favorite people and Phil."
• (Will Ferrell) "Very funny, Dad. I've never heard that one before."

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