Kenny (2006 film) Quotes

Kenny (2006 film) is a TV show that was first aired in 1970 . Kenny ended in 1970.

It features Clayton Jacobson as producer, and Richard Pleasance in charge of musical score.

Kenny (2006 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in Australia. Each episode of Kenny (2006 film) is 99 minutes long.

The cast includes: Shane Jacobson as Kenny, and Ian Dryden as Sammy.

Kenny (2006 film) Quotes

Shane Jacobson as Kenny

• (Shane Jacobson) "Funny part is parents look at me and say 'that's not much of a job, is it?'. And I say 'well you had kids'. 'You spent the first two years handling their s***, and you weren't getting paid for that'. They s*** green, the only things that should be green are pears, apples and Martians."

• (Shane Jacobson) "There's a smell in here that will outlast religion"

• (Shane Jacobson) "This is the busiest time of year, this is a crazy time, it just goes bonkers. It's as silly as a bum full of smarties."

• (Shane Jacobson) "Cut out the middle man; find someone you hate and buy them a house."

• (Shane Jacobson) "Death in the family has different effects on different people. For some families, it brings them closer together. But for other families, like our circus, it's Christmas cards at twenty paces."

• (Shane Jacobson) "From the back she looked like a fridge with a head."

• (Shane Jacobson) "I'd love to be able to say "I plumb toilets" and have someone say "Now that is something I've always wanted to do"."

• (Shane Jacobson) "It takes a certain kind of person to do what I do. No-one's ever impressed; no-one's ever fascinated. If you're a fireman, all the kids will want to jump on the back of the truck and follow you to a fire. There's going to be no kids willing to do that with me. So, I don't do it to impress people; it's a job, it's my trade, and I actually think I'm pretty good at it."

• (Shane Jacobson) "Have you got any Indonesian foods or curries? You have? All right. Well, normally, if it was a non-drinking event as far as alcohol, and there was no food or curries, for 4000 people for ten hours you'd have five male and five female blocks. But you've got alcohol being served as well as the food, and you've got curries in there as well, which does make a bit of a difference. And on the solid to water-based or liquid waste ratio you've got a 4:1 which is basically four liquid to one solid."
• (Shane Jacobson) "That's the "piss and s***" ratio, yeah."

• (Shane Jacobson) "There's the urinal, and being a male, you have a prong on you that points forward, so I don't understand how they get it on their feet. They must point it down."

• (Shane Jacobson) "Mad as a Clown's cock"

• (Shane Jacobson) "I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's 80% water and we've got chemicals to take care of the remaining 20."

• (Shane Jacobson) "Just watch it in there mate. That machine, once you press that flusher, that thing will probably suck your guts out through your bum."

Ian Dryden as Sammy

• (Ian Dryden) "--.always going on about his bloody marriage. Is this gonna go right, or is that gonna go bloody right? Is he gonna marry her or not?"
• (Shane Jacobson) "I should say so, they've got a wedding."
• (Ian Dryden) "He's either gonna marry or, or not marry her. If he ain't gonna marry her, I'll give her one."
• (Shane Jacobson) "Look, mate,"
• (Shane Jacobson) "I -- I understand what you're saying, I really do. And I am hearing you, but, mate, what you got to understand is there is a smell in here that is going to outlast religion, all right? So can you just -- give my ears a rest for a minute? Just give it a break for a sec, and we'll talk about it later, all right? I appreciate it mate."
• (Ian Dryden) "Well, now you know how I feel."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.