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Keeping the Faith Quotes

Keeping the Faith is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . Keeping the Faith ended its run in 1970.

It features Hawk Koch as producer, Elmer Bernstein in charge of musical score, and Anastas N. Michos as head of cinematography.

Keeping the Faith is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Keeping the Faith is 128 minutes long. Keeping the Faith is distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

The cast includes: Edward Norton as Father Brian Kilkenney Finn, Miloš Forman as Father Havel, Ben Stiller as Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram, Ben Stiller as Jacob, Jenna Elfman as Anna Riley, :* Michael Charles Roman as Teenage Brian, Eli Wallach as Rabbi Lewis, Ron Rifkin as Larry Friedman, Anne Bancroft as Ruth Schram, Rena Sofer as Rachel Rose, Brian George as Paulie Chopra, Lisa Edelstein as Ali Decker, Ken Leung as Don, David Wain as Steve Posner, Susie Essman as Len, Catherine Lloyd Burns as Debbie, and Bodhi Elfman as Omar.

Keeping the Faith Quotes

Ben Stiller as Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram

  • (Ben Stiller) "What do you want me to do? Flagellate myself? Jews don't do that, we plant trees."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Rabbi Lewis. Anna, this is Rabbi Lewis."
  • (Eli Wallach) "Good to see you again Miss Riley."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Good to see you again Rabbi Lewis."
  • (Eli Wallach) "You missed our last class."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I know, I'm sorry, I thought I was leaving town."
  • (Eli Wallach) "Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I would love to start up again if that's all right with you."
  • (Eli Wallach) "I'd be delighted. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got some dancing to do."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah really about? Anyone? Steve Posner."
  • (David Wain) "Sexual perversion."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Sexual perversion. Steve Posner's watching too much Spice Channel."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What happened to our youth?"
  • (Edward Norton) "I'm telling you, it ended at 30, pal."
  • (Ben Stiller) "How upset are they?"
  • (Eli Wallach) "Let's just say they're less than thrilled."
  • (Ron Rifkin) "To be honest, we're less than thrilled."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ok, with what specifically?"
  • (Ron Rifkin) "With what specifically. Well, with guided meditation specifically, with stand up comedy sermons specifically, with your loose improvisational style specifically."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ok, with people actually enjoying services? People showing up at all?"
  • (Ron Rifkin) "To be serenaded by the Harlem freaking gospel choir?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "At least they were praying."
  • (Eli Wallach) "It was a hell of an Ein Keloheinu, Lar."
  • (Ron Rifkin) "It's not kosher, Rabbi Lewis."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Larry, what does that mean?"
  • (Ron Rifkin) "You have to ask me what kosher means? Study your gemara."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I mean, she's like your sister."
  • (Edward Norton) "Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion."
  • (Ben Stiller) "So? She's a woman, she's not the Virgin Mary."
  • (Ben Stiller) "He's, like, porn slapping her."
  • (Ben Stiller) "God was showing off when he made you."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Feel the prana."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You're in love with her?"
  • (Edward Norton) "No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange."
  • (Ben Stiller) "There's a reason you gotta do your haftorah at this age."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Jews want their rabbis to be the kind of Jews they don't have the time to be."
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah, and Catholics want their priests to be the kind of Catholics they don't have the discipline to be."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Tuesday's not good for me, I gotta mourn with the Schwarzes."
  • (Ben Stiller) "God is a lot like Blanche Du Bois."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Holy majoly."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Let me just say -- Oy."
  • (Edward Norton) "Amen to your oy."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Whoa. Listen to what you're saying. You're telling me that I was supposed to be sensitive to the possibility that a Catholic priest might have a crush on my secret girlfriend?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Greta Nussbaum, before she pulls her rotator cuff."
  • (Alan Klien) "I suck. They're gonna take away my Yamulkha."
  • (Ben Stiller) "No you don't. You don't suck."
  • (Alan Klien) "I suck."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yes, all right, you do. You suck. But that's ok, you're supposed to suck. This isn't a talent contest, it's a rite of passage."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You're gonna benefit from this."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Excuse me, Raphae, guys, I just have to do this again 'cos it's really been bugging me. Ein Keloheinu. It's a joyous song, a prayer about praising the Lord, telling the Lord how much we love him, or her, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to be able to get you folks to sing it with any feeling. I mean, I brought in the band. That didn't work. I brought in my bongos last week. I think we can all agree that was a backwards step. So this morning, I've brought in a little outside help."
  • (Ben Stiller) "He has a healthy self-confidence, I can tell from his posturing."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh, God, please let this be painless."
  • (Lisa Edelstein) "Hi. Right on time. I like that in a rabbi."

Edward Norton as Father Brian Kilkenney Finn

  • (Edward Norton) "I got you something. I almost didn't because I was so mad but this is too good."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Holy s***. It's the Rabbi Schlomo Schnurson rookie card. It's like the last in the series."
  • (Edward Norton) "You know you better not lie in here man, this is the big room. God does not look favorably on you. He has a tendancy to throw -- lightning bolts at things -- At liars."
  • (Edward Norton) "You're a Sikh, Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws?"
  • (Indian Bartender) "Yes. Yes. It gets very complicated. I'm reading Dianetics."
  • (Edward Norton) "Don't blame you."
  • (Edward Norton) "Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way."
  • (Edward Norton) "I keep thinking about what you said in seminary, that the life of a priest is hard and if you can see yourself being happy doing anything else you should do that."
  • (Miloš Forman) "That was my recruitment pitch, which is not bad when you're starting out because it makes you feel like a marine. The truth is you can never tell yourself there is only one thing you could be. If you are a priest or if you marry a woman it's the same challenge. You cannot make a real commitment unless you accept that it's a choice that you keep making again and again and again."
  • (Edward Norton) "I don't doubt myself because of you. I feel like the best version of myself when I'm with you, and that makes me doubt everything else."
  • (Edward Norton) "I feel like I'm on some bad new Aaron Spelling show; "Melrose Priest.""
  • (Edward Norton) "You wanna bring a priest to your first good date in two years? What kind of strategy is that?"
  • (Edward Norton) "I'm Irish. This is milk to me baby. Milk."
  • (Edward Norton) "You're not gonna tell me what to do here, are you."
  • (Edward Norton) "You must think I'm such an idiot."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "No, Brian."
  • (Edward Norton) "No, no no, I think I'm an idiot."
  • (Edward Norton) "Who is the coolest woman you and I have ever known, ever."
  • (Ben Stiller) "That's easy. Anna Reilly, eighth grade. No question."
  • (Edward Norton) "You got it."
  • (Ben Stiller) "What? She called you? Anna Reilly called you?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah. Totally out of the blue."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Why?"
  • (Edward Norton) "'Cause she's coming to New York, uh, for work -- and she wanted to get together with us. She just looked me up."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Really? Anna Reilly. What is she doing now?"
  • (Edward Norton) "She; She's, like, analyzing synergies, or synergising analogies, or, or some such thing. I couldn't follow it. She's, like, this very high-powered business; You know."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Woman?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Woman, yes. Thank you."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Wow. And you told her about us?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah. She flipped, in a; in a good way. You know, I mean, she laughed for about ten minutes, but she was excited."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Man, that is so cool."
  • (Edward Norton) "I know."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I wonder why she called you."
  • (Edward Norton) "What do you mean?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, I mean, she called you."
  • (Edward Norton) "What, are you in the eighth grade still?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "What? That's a legitimate question. I just; I mean, we're both listed."
  • (Edward Norton) "Finn before Schram, okay? You're ridiculous."
  • (Ben Stiller) "That's a good point. Alphabetical."
  • (Edward Norton) "My parents had basically given up on children when I came along, so my mother always called me her 'gift from God.' That really stuck with me and when I was eight I told her I had a feeling I was supposed to return the favor. She was so happy she cried. My dad just wanted to know if working for God came with dental."
  • (Edward Norton) "No, I'm glad you saved it because it's definitely less weird for me now."
  • (Edward Norton) "The truth is, I don't really learn that much about your faith by asking questions like that -- because those aren't really questions about faith, those are questions about religion. And it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all -- connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening -- to connect with that feeling, that is an act of faith. And so all I have to do is look around the room at this packed church -- to know that we're doing pretty well as a community. Even if all of you failed my pop quiz miserably."
  • (Edward Norton) "I'm God's consiglieri."
  • (Indian Bartender) "Let me guess. Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt so she took these little ones and left you."
  • (Edward Norton) "It's a little more complicated than that."
  • (Indian Bartender) "Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to --"
  • (Indian Bartender) "Holy s***."
  • (Edward Norton) "Exactly."
  • (Edward Norton) "Omar."
  • (Bodhi Elfman) "Sorry, father, hey she has a nice ass."
  • (Edward Norton) "You're the expert, huh?"
  • (Indian Bartender) "Um, let me get this straight. I am talking to a pries who went on a bender because his best friend, a rabbi, stole his girl."
  • (Edward Norton) "Right."
  • (Indian Bartender) "Thank you. I want to thank you for telling me this story."
  • (Edward Norton) "Why?"
  • (Indian Bartender) "Because now I can retire."
  • (Edward Norton) "Whoah. Are you seriously telling me that unless you find a nice Jewish girl and settle down in the next six months they're not going to give you this job?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'm seriously telling you there has not been a bachelor head rabbi of B'Nei Ezra since the beginning of the synagogue."
  • (Edward Norton) "What could possibly be holding you back at this point?"

:* Michael Charles Roman as Teenage Brian

  • (:* Michael Charles Roman) "Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch."

Miloš Forman as Father Havel

  • (Miloš Forman) "Who is calling at this hour? It's barbaric. I was dreaming about my mother's sausages."

Jenna Elfman as Anna Riley

  • (Jenna Elfman) "You look so hot in your suit, can I just tell you."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Thank you. You look beautiful."
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah, you really do."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Thanks, men."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I don't know what it is."
  • (Edward Norton) "An absence of something."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah, the cell phone."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Uh, uh, uh. It's set to vibrate."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Wow, that's -- sexy."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I work harder than God. If He had hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Jake Schram."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yes."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "How are you? Who are you? Tell me everything, give me the 4-1-1, I wanna know. Girls, job, news."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I read your sarin gas report. It was very powerful."
  • (Rena Sofer) "Thanks, I really earned my stripes with that piece."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I earned my stripes by getting through a bris without fainting."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I just called to see how the date went."
  • (Ben Stiller) "That's so funny. I had an impulse to call you last night but then I thought it might be too late."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "You should've. I was stuck here barking at Los Angeles. So what did you wear?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "What? I'm not gonna tell you what I wore on my date. Why would I do that?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I want to get an image of a young rabbi on the prowl, what's your game man?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ok. Navy blue pin stripe suit."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Mmm."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Navy blue button down shirt."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Good colour for your eyes. Shoes?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Black. Kenneth Cole. Leather."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Size?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Big."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Ow."
  • (Ben Stiller) "You wanna hear about the special knot in my tie?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Baby no, we gotta keep room for dessert. Don't give up hope ok?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'll keep it alive."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Good bye Mr Sharp Dressed Man."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "What's happening with Ruth and Ethan?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh. Ethan married a Catholic girl and that did not go over well."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "That's why they're fighting?"
  • (Edward Norton) "They're not fighting, they're not talking. Two years now no communicado."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Are you serious?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "What? Weren't they really close though?"
  • (Edward Norton) "As close as Ruth and Jake."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "That explains a lot."
  • (Edward Norton) "You see why tonight was not just a date."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "People should have to qualify to go out with you. You're too precious to be on the open market."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Don't you have work?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "We're doing a hostile takeover of Congregation Bertov Sholem."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I'm gonna miss a lot of things around here. Like Len's endless Howard Stern recountings and of course my Romeo Casanova boy across the way."
  • (Susie Essman) "Hey, what is that?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I don't know."
  • (Catherine Lloyd Burns) "Who is that?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "It's Jake."
  • (Catherine Lloyd Burns) "What's he doing?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Anna Riley."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Hi, Anna? Can, can you see me? Cause I can't see you, I'm just looking at a reflection of myself."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Jake, I can see you, what are you doing?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I've been trying to get up there for the last hour but it's like the frigging Pentagon with that T-Bone guy. So I decided to try Mr Casanova here; by the way his name is Howard. Anyway I've been doing some thinking and there are some things I'd like to talk to you about."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Am I on speakerphone?"
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, Jake."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Hi. Hi. Can I talk to you alone? Can I come over there?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "No, I think now would be a good time."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ok. Well, I've been thinking about some of the things you said and you were right."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "About what?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "About us. About me, especially about me."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "So what are you saying Jake?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah, what are you saying Jake?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I'm saying I love you. I'm in love with you. And I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you and I'm not gonna let you go. Please don't go. Anna, I'm not gonna let you go."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Could we hang up the phone maybe."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "So what's your chick situation?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh, don't ask, it's not a good story."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Why?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Because his whole congregation is trying to set him up and it makes him very uncomfortable."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "What's wrong with that?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "There's a reason pandas don't mate in captivity."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "What does that mean?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "It means these mothers keep making these dates for me that I can't refuse. They're very intimidating, they're like the Kosher Nostra. They're little women but very determined."
  • (Edward Norton) "I think you get a little melodramatic about this, don't you think?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh, yeah? Today one of them faxed me her daughter's resume."
  • (Edward Norton) "Let me see that. Ali Decker."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Look at the bottom."
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh. She has a skills section."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Yes?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh, you win. She put jogging as a skill."
  • (Ben Stiller) "See? She doesn't even know the difference between a hobby and a skill."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "All right, so maybe she's a skilled jogger."
  • (Ben Stiller) "I have to go on a date with this woman. Why can't I just say no?"
  • (Edward Norton) "I don't know, why can't you?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I can't alienate these women, I need body count at the temple."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone, we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "You think you're sorry now, wait till you realize I just went out that door and I'm not coming back."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "This is MY apartment. YOU get out."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "So this is a rectory. That sounds like a dirty word. Rectory."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Rachel Rose. Yeah. When's that going down?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Thursday."
  • (Edward Norton) "Thursday night, 8p.m., dinner."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Are you excited?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Yeah. I have a pretty good feeling."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Where are you taking her?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I don't know. I thought, uh, Ernie's."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Ernie's? You can't take her to Ernie's. Ernie's has been around since we were kids. You might as well take her to Houlihan's. You cannot take Rachel Rose to Ernie's."
  • (Edward Norton) "Definitely not Ernie's. Definitely not. Mm-mmm. Uh-oh."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "No, you gotta take her someplace new and hot."
  • (Edward Norton) "No, hot. Definitely hot."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Well, what's; Okay, what's new and hot?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "What do we know about this girl?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Rachel Rose, 29 years old, Columbia School of Journalism. Middle East affairs expert."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Perfect. Middle Eastern. She can order in Arabic. Give her a chance to shine. What's a good place?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Delphini's. Definitely Delphini's. Four stars, New York Times. Definitely Delphini's. Need a reservation. Delphini's."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Now, are you gonna wear a suit, or are you gonna go cas'?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "I don't know. I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. I guess cas'."
  • (Edward Norton) "No, suit."
  • (Edward Norton) "Definitely suit. Definitely --"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Hey, shut up, Rain Man. Seriously. Enough, all right? Now you're making me think about this."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Oh, relax. You'll do great."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I haven't screamed that hard since the US hockey team beat the Russians."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "I thought I'd got the Tony Robbins hotline by mistake."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Can I ask you a question?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah, of course, anything."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "It's personal, so --"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh, are we gonna have the sex talk here?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Yes, you're my friend and I wanna know how this works for you."
  • (Edward Norton) "Fire away, you must have a list of questions."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Really?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Really?"
  • (Jenna Elfman) "So you -- don't. Right?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Right."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "At all."
  • (Edward Norton) "At all."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Have you ever, er?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Had sex? Yes."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "With women."
  • (Edward Norton) "Yes."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "So you're not gay."
  • (Edward Norton) "No. No."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Are you sure?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yes, but even if I was the rules are the same."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Do you miss it?"
  • (Edward Norton) "No."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Are you tempted?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Nah."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Oh, admit it. If they changed the rules you'd be psyched."

Rena Sofer as Rachel Rose

  • (Rena Sofer) "So how long have you two been together?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh, right."
  • (Jenna Elfman) "Oh, we go way back."
  • (Edward Norton) "Yeah, we've known each other since we were kids 'cause we grew up together and we connected again a couple months back this was and we just clicked, really unexpectedly."
  • (Rena Sofer) "Oh my God. The Iraqi defense minister just committed suicide."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ooh --. Is that bad or good?"
  • (Rena Sofer) "Well, looks like I'm going to Baghdad."
  • (Rena Sofer) "You write all your own sermons, right?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Actually I download them off the net, there's this great site www.hotgod.com."
  • (Rena Sofer) "Really?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ooh hoo, no."

Brian George as Paulie Chopra

  • (Brian George) "I would like to thank you for telling me that story."
  • (Edward Norton) "Why?"
  • (Brian George) "Because now I have heard it all, and I can retire."

Ken Leung as Don

  • (Ken Leung) "How you guys doing? I'm Don. Don, rhyme with flon. You have any question?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Yes, Yes indeed Don we do. Is this a good machine?"
  • (Ken Leung) "Yeah it is good if you cheap bastard. No jus -- jus doing comedy with you. That one is okay. But if you are serious about Kar'-oke."
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh we are."
  • (Ken Leung) "Okay then -- there is only one model for you. The AUDIO 2000. This baby got the 16-bit dual D/A converter, 3 beam checking, digital key controller, so you can change the pitch if your voice sucks. But I don't need that."
  • (Edward Norton) "That's nice. How much?"
  • (Ken Leung) "Price is not important"
  • (Edward Norton) "No price is very important, actually."
  • (Ken Leung) "Okay you got me; take me away. Okay it's a lil' bit expensive. But let me tell you, it's worth it. When you sing to your girlfriend."
  • (Edward Norton) "Uh huh."
  • (Ken Leung) "And her heart thweaaaatt-boom. fall down on the floor, you say thank you Don."
  • (Edward Norton) "How much does it cost, exactly?"
  • (Ken Leung) "Alright, here's the real deal. Um, I don't usually do this but you guys look like cool guys, and uh, I got a little piece of ass last night, so I am feeling extra generous."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh."
  • (Ken Leung) "I'm gonna let you guys have it for $1,300."
  • (Edward Norton) "$1,300?"
  • (Ken Leung) "Final offer."
  • (Edward Norton) "uh, excuse me, I just got a little warm."
  • (Ben Stiller) "My friend, he gets, he gets a little warm."
  • (Ken Leung) "Oh man. What is that? What is -- get out of here with that. Is that real?"
  • (Edward Norton) "Oh yeah."

Bodhi Elfman as Omar

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Anne Bancroft as Ruth Schram

  • (Anne Bancroft) "Now you. Anyone new in your life I should know about?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Wow, 20 minutes. I can't believe we made it this far."
  • (Anne Bancroft) "It's my God-given right to check. What about the Shapiro girl."
  • (Ben Stiller) "Oh, no, not the Shapiro girl."
  • (Anne Bancroft) "Why not, she was a looker."
  • (Ben Stiller) "It's not that, the problem was here."
  • (Anne Bancroft) "What? Bad skin?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "No, not bad skin."
  • (Anne Bancroft) "What then?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Ok, you want an example? I take her out to dinner, I order dessert, she says she doesn't want any, I get pecan pie. She asks me for a bite, I give her a bite, her face swells up like a chipmunk, she looks at me and says, "Oh, my God, are there nuts in this?""
  • (Anne Bancroft) "So what?"
  • (Ben Stiller) "Mom. It was pecan pie."

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