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Josh and S.A.M. Quotes

Josh and S.A.M. is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Josh and S.A.M. stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Brest as producer, Thomas Newman in charge of musical score, and Don Burgess (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Josh and S.A.M. is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Josh and S.A.M. is 98 minutes long. Josh and S.A.M. is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Jacob Tierney as Josh Whitney, Maury Chaykin as Pizza Man, Chris Penn as Derek Baxter, Joan Allen as Sam Whitney, Sean Baca as Curtis, Jake Gyllenhaal as Leon, Stephen Tobolowsky as Thom, and Martha Plimpton as Alison.

Josh and S.A.M. Quotes

Jacob Tierney as Josh Whitney

  • (Jacob Tierney) "Doesn't it make you feel sad inside?"
  • (Joan Allen) "Genetically altered inside. I'm all metal and wires. It's cold. I don't feel things the way you do."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Dad is sending you off to fight a war just to he can send the buttholes to football camp."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "What can I do? I'm a wanted man with a screwed up brother."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "I just saw Jean Pierre on 60 Minutes confessing everything. He was in the shadows but I could tell by those big lips of his."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "You know, Sam, I didn't want to mention this with Mom around but I know a place where all kids who have to repeat a grade get together. It's way beyond the Bluffs, high above the Pacific Coast highway."
  • (Joan Allen) "What do they do there?"
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Jump off."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Dad can I be excused?"
  • (Stephen Tobolowsky) "For God's sake, Josh, clean your plate."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Is that clean enough?"
  • (Stephen Tobolowsky) "Go to your room."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "You're in my damn room."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "I made it all up."
  • (Martha Plimpton) "Even the Liberty Maid?"
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Yes, I got your hair and red hat off a juice box."
  • (Martha Plimpton) "Lord almighty, I've met my maker."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Sam you're a genius."
  • (Joan Allen) "Yeah well it's not my fault. They made me that way."

Chris Penn as Derek Baxter

  • (Chris Penn) "I knew it."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Knew what Mr. Baxter?"
  • (Chris Penn) "Don't call me that, Josh, call me Dad."
  • (Chris Penn) "This is that kid, isn't it? This is that damn kid, isn't it?"
  • (Chris Penn) "There's this one thing I want to ask you Josh?, What day were you born on?"
  • (Jacob Tierney) "umm -- uh -- June 17th"
  • (Chris Penn) "That's uh, nine months back, that's the night we beat Carling, that's perfect -- woo-hoo -- that's homecoming night, I knew it."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Knew what Mr. Baxter?"
  • (Chris Penn) "Don't call me that -- (blushes) -- Call me Dad."

Joan Allen as Sam Whitney

  • (Joan Allen) "Last night, Dad left his safe open and there was a file inside."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "So?"
  • (Joan Allen) "It was about you."
  • (Joan Allen) "OW."
  • (Jacob Tierney) "Oh God, Sam, you're activated."

Sean Baca as Curtis

Maury Chaykin as Pizza Man

  • (Maury Chaykin) "This pizza, I make myself. My wife, she no make-a da pizza. No more."

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