Jingle All the Way Quotes

Jingle All the Way is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . Jingle All the Way ended in 1970.

It features Chris Columbus; Michael Barnathan; Mark Radcliffe as producer, David Newman (composer) in charge of musical score, and Victor J. Kemper as head of cinematography.

Jingle All the Way is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Jingle All the Way is 89 minutes long. Jingle All the Way is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Arnold Schwarzenegger as Howard, Sinbad as Myron Larabee, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Howard Langston, Phil Hartman as Ted, Jake Lloyd as Jamie, James Belushi as Mall Santa, Big Show as Huge Santa, Rita Wilson as Liz, Jake Lloyd as Jamie Langston, Sinbad as Myron, Robert Conrad as Officer, E.J. De La Pena as Johnny, Phil Hartman as Ted Maltin, and Robert Conrad as Deer.

Jingle All the Way Quotes

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Howard Langston

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I gotta tell you, Santa, there's something about this place that doesn't seem quite -- Kosher."
• (James Belushi) "Kosher? This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a super ball?"

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Cookies?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Who told you you could eat my cookies?"

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Ted, what the hell are you doing on my roof?"

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You started it."

• (DJ) "Yeah, I've got a mad man in my studio and --"
• (DJ) "HELP ME."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen."
• (DJ) "What?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "See, I couldn't get through on the phone. Did I win?"
• (DJ) "No, it's not that simple."
• (DJ) "No. Wait, wait."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You're too late. I already got the the right answer. I won. Ha ha. Yeah."
• (Sinbad) "I don't need the right answer to win. I got this."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Now what's that?"
• (Sinbad) "This, Mr. Track Star, is a homemade explosive device."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "A bomb?"
• (Sinbad) "Yes, in layman's terms, a bomb. So back up."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "You built a bomb?"
• (Sinbad) "No, I didn't build a bomb. Don't you read the news? Hundreds of these things come through the mail every day. I just kept one in case I ever needed it. So give me the doll, or I'll blow up everybody in this place."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Are you out of your mind? Put this thing away."

• (DJ) "Excuse me, gentlemen, are you two under the impression that I have a Turbo Man doll here in the studio?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Yes."
• (Sinbad) "That's what you said on the radio."
• (DJ) "Oh, no."
• (Sinbad) "Yes it is."
• (DJ) "No, no, no. What I actually said was whoever won would get a doll E-VENTUALLY. See --"
• (DJ) "What we have here -- is a gift certificate."
• (Sinbad) "A gift certificate?"
• (DJ) "Right."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Myron, you're taking this too far."
• (Sinbad) "Hey, I'm not going home without that doll."
• (Chain Smoking Booster) "Hey, buddy, this ain't the way we rehearsed it."
• (Sinbad) "You know what? Nobody likes you, Booster."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Jamie, let me talk to your mother."
• (Jake Lloyd) "You can't."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Why?"
• (Jake Lloyd) "She's next door petting Ted."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "She's what?"

• (Officer Hummel) "As for you, Turbo Man --"
• (Officer Hummel) "we could use a man like you on the force."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Oh, I'm sorry about the bike, and the coffee, and the bus, and -- the bomb."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Where's your Christmas spirit?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "That's better."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Aww, poor baby."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Enough with this Turbo Man. I have had it up to here with this Turbo Man. If there's anybody I don't want advice from right now, it's Turbo Man."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I'm not a pervert. I just was looking for a Turbo Man doll."

• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Put that cookie down. NOW."

Big Show as Huge Santa

• (Big Show) "I'm gonna deck your halls, bub."

Robert Conrad as Deer

• (Robert Conrad) "Aaaaaw --"

• (Robert Conrad) "Maybe you shouldn't mess with that."
• (Officer Hummel) "Relax, Sparky, I was with the bomb squad for 10 years."
• (Officer Hummel) "Gentlemen, we've been duped. This is nothing but a harmless Christmas package."
• (Sinbad) "That really was a bomb? This is a sick world we live in. Sick people."
• (Robert Conrad) "How many years on the bomb squad?"

Sinbad as Myron Larabee

• (Sinbad) "Don't hit me. I got sickle cell. Don't hit me."

• (Sinbad) "I'll know if you move 'cause I have the ears of a snake."

• (Sinbad) "You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk into the office, grab one of those guys"
• (Sinbad) "And choke him and choke him until an eye pops out. Er -- You shouldn't wear fur."

• (Sinbad) "They sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out. And I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there, I know what's going on. And then they sit there and they make your children feel like garbage and you, the father, who's working 24/7 delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office, but me. And then when you get the toy, it breaks and you can't fix it because it's little cheap plastic."

• (Sinbad) "As if I didn't have enough trouble, my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy. Some fruity robot named Turtle Man."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "It's Turbo Man. My son wants one, too."

• (Sinbad) "Ta-ta, Turtleman."

• (Sinbad) "Get outta my way, box."

• (Sinbad) "You too, Barnaby Jones."

• (Sinbad) "That's my ball. Rodney King. Rodney King."

• (Sinbad) "We get one day a year to prove we're not screw-ups and what do we do? We screw it up."

• (Sinbad) "I work for the post office so you know I'm not stable. Tell 'em."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "This man is totally insane."
• (Sinbad) "Thank you."

• (Sinbad) "How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No. Your father's been laid off."

• (Sinbad) "Did you call me buddy?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Yeah."
• (Sinbad) "I am not your buddy. I tried to be your team mate, I wanted to be your friend, but noooooooooo, you had other other plans for Myron Larabee."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "No, I had no plans."
• (Sinbad) "You were no different then the rest of those civilians, those common, letter writers who make fun of my knee socks and my safari hat. in the summer."
• (Sinbad) "Are you laughing at me?"
• (DJ) "Huh? Oh, no. Lord no. Not at all."
• (Sinbad) "Mr. Ponytail Man, I know you, I know your kind. You're the kind that puts the trash can in front of the mailbox so I have to get out of my jeep, don't you?"
• (DJ) "No, not true. I recycle."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Shut up."
• (Sinbad) "That's right shut up."

James Belushi as Mall Santa

• (James Belushi) "Hey. Psst. Buddy, come here. Come here. You want a Turbo Man for Christmas?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Forget it, I'm not gonna sit on your lap."
• (James Belushi) "Hey, chief, that's not my bag -- Get it? Ha. Well, you know little boy, with your attitude, I don't think I want to give you access to this. Tony, show him."
• (Tony the Elf) "That was take this morning."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "How do I know this isn't some kind of a scam?"
• (James Belushi) "Forget it, Tony, this guy doesn't want our help."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Whoa, wait a minute, guys. We're all businessmen. I'm sure we can work out some sort of an agreement."
• (James Belushi) "You got the cash, we got the doll."

• (Santa at Door) "Password."
• (James Belushi) "Jingle Bells, Batman smells."

• (James Belushi) "We're not just doing this for us. We're doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa's lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart."

• (James Belushi) "Ah. That'll be three hundred."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Dollars?"
• (James Belushi) "No, chocolate kisses; yes, dollars."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I can't believe this, whatever happened to your lofty ideas huh? I though you're doing all this for the kids."
• (James Belushi) "Well sure, but I don't see why we can't pick up a little loose change in the process."

Phil Hartman as Ted Maltin

• (Phil Hartman) "Wow, that's odd. Reindeer are usually such gentle animals. There must be something about you he doesn't like. Aftershave or something."

• (Phil Hartman) "Here, have some non-alcoholic eggnog."

• (Phil Hartman) "What's going on?"
• (E.J. De La Pena) "Look, Jamie's dad is Turbo Man."
• (Phil Hartman) "Let's get outta here."
• (E.J. De La Pena) "But Dad, you smell like barf."

• (Phil Hartman) "I've got a Turbo Man for Johnny months ago. It's nestled safely under our tree."

• (Phil Hartman) "Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child's Christmas magical."

• (Phil Hartman) "Howard, they say it might get icy later. You might wanna wrap some chains around those tires."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Maybe I should wrap some chains around you."
• (Phil Hartman) "What?"

• (Phil Hartman) "Hey, neighbor."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Ted, what the hell are you doing on my roof?"
• (Phil Hartman) "What's Ted doing on your roof?"
• (Phil Hartman) "Ta-da. I had some extra lights in the garage, and since you didn't put up any yourself, I just thought "What the hey?" Why not spread a bit of Christmas cheer around the neighborhood?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Gee, Ted, how thoughtful."
• (Phil Hartman) "Hey. I'm sorry you missed the karate class today, but don't worry, I got it all on video for you."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "What would I do without you?"

Rita Wilson as Liz

• (Rita Wilson) "Howard?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Hi."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Uh-oh."
• (Rita Wilson) "What are you doing?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "I, uh --"
• (Rita Wilson) "What's that?"
• (Phil Hartman) "That is Johnny's Turbo Man."
• (Rita Wilson) "What?"
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "It's not what you think it is."
• (Rita Wilson) "Oh, it isn't? Really? Then, do tell me what it is. Because as far as I know, you've got Jamie his own Turbo Man weeks ago. What it looks like is that you've broke into our neighbor's house and you're stealing presents from under the tree."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Look, Liz. If you were just give me a second, then I could explain it to you. I know parts of this are going sounds completely ridiculous. But, let me tell you the truth."
• (Rita Wilson) "Howard? I've been listening to your version of the truth for far too long now and honestly, I don't want to anymore. All I want is to salvage what's left to Christmas Eve and go to the parade with my son."
• (Arnold Schwarzenegger) "Liz, please."
• (Rita Wilson) "Ted, would you drive us?"
• (Phil Hartman) "Of course."
• (Phil Hartman) "You can't bench press your way out of this one."

Jake Lloyd as Jamie Langston

• (Jake Lloyd) "I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move and the boomerang shooter and his rock'n roller jet pack and the realistic voice activator that says 5 different phrases including, "It's Turbo time." Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included."

• (Jake Lloyd) "I'm Turbo Man."
• (E.J. De La Pena) "No, I am; you're always Turbo Man."
• (Rita Wilson) "Hey, hey, hey, cut it out."
• (Jake Lloyd) "Why don't you be Dementor?"
• (E.J. De La Pena) "No."

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