(Article is below...)

Jackass Number Two Quotes

Jackass Number Two is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Jackass Number Two stopped airing in 1970.

It features Jeff Tremaine as producer, Sam Spiegel (musician) in charge of musical score, and Dimitry Elyashkevich as head of cinematography.

Jackass Number Two is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Jackass Number Two is 92 minutes long. Jackass Number Two is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

Jackass Number Two Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "This is REALLY gonna suck."
  • (Unnamed) "There's a machine in here. Where's the f***ing card throwing machine?"
  • (Unnamed) "You crying?"
  • (Unnamed) "Yeah."
  • (Unnamed) "I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh I hate that, I hate it so bad. f***in' sucky."
  • (Unnamed) "Why do you hate it?"
  • (Unnamed) "The bouncing on my f***in' head."
  • (Unnamed) "Rectal bleeding -- another first for Jackass."
  • (Unnamed) "I just had a leech chomp my eyeball. YES."
  • (Unnamed) "If your asshole can't see the camera, the camera can't see your asshole"
  • (Unnamed) "You're going to have that for life."
  • (Unnamed) "No s***."
  • (Unnamed) "That couldn't have gone any better. I didn't know Knoxville could do back flips."
  • (Unnamed) "I landed straight on my head. I am just -- f***ed."
  • (Unnamed) "It's times like these when you know; Johnny Knoxville is one gnarly dude."
  • (Unnamed) "This is the Toro Totter. It's me and Pontius vs. Dunn and Bam; and the last guy on the Totter is the winner."
  • (Unnamed) "It's gonna be a blood bath."
  • (Unnamed) "You gave me a hologram dick. There's three solid dicks, there's one half-assed one right here, and then you gave me a set of balls."
  • (Unnamed) "But a sweet set of balls."
  • (Unnamed) "Rad -- I'd rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river than to do that again. god****."
  • (Man) "Hey man, is that a real light?"
  • (Fake Grandson) "Piss off, man."
  • (Man) "Is it?"
  • (Unnamed) "He said "piss off"."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, isn't this movie supposed to be a comedy?"
  • (Unnamed) "So here I am, trying to contribute to Ehren McGhehey's new beard. I hope he knows that I skipped showering for about a week and a half to make this a little more gross."
  • (April Margera) "Why would you burn him in the first place, Dunn?"
  • (Unnamed) "'Cause it was funny --"
  • (Unnamed) "You just pleasured a horse."
  • (Unnamed) "You had the cutest butt ever and now you ruined it."
  • (Unnamed) "No, Dick Farm Dunn ruined it."
  • (Unnamed) "If Knoxville goes in there, I'll French kiss him."
  • (Unnamed) "Ape, I got a muffed-up ass butt."
  • (April Margera) "I know, and you had the cutest butt ever and now you ruined it."
  • (Unnamed) "No, Dick Farm Dunn ruined it."
  • (Unnamed) "It's so dry."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, Wee Man, I would never use a card throwing machine on you."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm scared just watching him, I want a Lance helmet."
  • (Unnamed) "Ah. Arrrgghh."
  • (Unnamed) "No, I don't f***ing like that dude, I don't f***ing like that dude. That f***ing hurts, dude."
  • (Unnamed) "Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie."
  • (Unnamed) "Ok, who brought crabs to the party? Ha ha. One of the guys had crabs."
  • (Unnamed) "I can't believe I'm fishing with Steve-o as my bait."
  • (Unnamed) "Where I'm going, I don't need luggage"
  • (Unnamed) "You have no hair on your ass."
  • (Unnamed) "It is pretty."
  • (Unnamed) "Doc, can you help us?"
  • (Indian Doctor) "Uh, yeah, why not?"
  • (Man) "You wanna step outside?"
  • (Unnamed) "We're already outside, numbnuts. Hahaha."
  • (Unnamed) "He asked us if we wanted to step outside."
  • (Unnamed) "You didn't land it."
  • (Unnamed) "Keep God outta California. Whoo. Let Charlie Daniels write a song about this. God is out. He can have the other 48 -- or 49 -- whatever --"
  • (Unnamed) "Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3"."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm staring down Main St. right now; and it isn't pretty."
  • (Unnamed) "The boys think they're arriving for a photo shoot, but little do they know we've got a s***load of bees we're gonna put through the sunroof, and we've rigged the locks so they cant get out."
  • (Unnamed) "And when they do get out we've got some marbles waiting for 'em."
  • (Unnamed) "This is the Beehive Limo."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself."
  • (Unnamed) "Last time you s*** in a damn van and now you get to s*** in a limo."
  • (Unnamed) "That long hair don't cover up your red neck."
  • (Unnamed) "It's time to play a game with a bunch of these medicine balls, and they're heavy as s***."
  • (Unnamed) "Is this ok?"
  • (Unnamed) "Then we're good."
  • (Unnamed) "Knoxville is gonna see what the moon looks like."
  • (Unnamed) "This is the bravest motherf***er right here; two hundred smackaroos; it's not counterfeit, it's real; to eat horse s***."
  • (Unnamed) "What are thinking about, Preston?"
  • (Unnamed) "I wish all of that water was gravy and all those cars were giant biscuits."
  • (Unnamed) "Are you hungry?"
  • (Unnamed) "I was just saying --"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh, all right."
  • (Unnamed) "That was intense, really intense. Well, not really intense, but pretty intense."
  • (Unnamed) "Bam just took a golden dildo up his ass at high speeds. That's what happened."
  • (Unnamed) "Get me out of here."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm Steve-O and this is some s***."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm Steve-O and this is some s***."
  • (Unnamed) "I think we broke him."
  • (Unnamed) "Dude, isn't this movie supposed to be a comedy?"
  • (Unnamed) "I'm Steve-O, and sorry Dad, but no one's gonna miss this for the world. This is the Butt Chug."
  • (Unnamed) "Get ready to be happy ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Knoxville is gonna jump the entire lake. He's amazing."
  • (Unnamed) "All right cast me out, goddammit."
  • (Unnamed) "Ah -- f***in' s*** -- what was that s***? It's f***in' in my eyes --"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh. Oooo."
  • (Unnamed) "Uh -- what the f*** was that?"
  • (Unnamed) "Oh my --"
  • (Unnamed) "I f***in' don't understand -- what the f*** did you do to me? WHAT THE f*** WAS THAT?"
  • (Unnamed) "Uh -- are you --"
  • (Unnamed) "You're f***in' me up man."
  • (Unnamed) "Let's go inside man."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh f*** DUDE -- I -- that was f***in' CRAZY."
  • (Unnamed) "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass."
  • (Unnamed) "It's gonna hurt a lot, but it's just loud."
  • (Unnamed) "Son of a -- f*** you."
  • (Unnamed) "Ooh my hip. I think I just gave birth."
  • (Unnamed) "This isn't the best idea."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes it is --"
  • (Unnamed) "He didnt even make it to Germany."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm crying. I'm a f***ing skateboarder and I'm getting shot."
  • (Unnamed) "Oh God. Oh -- Oh -- Oh God --. my ass hurts so f***ing bad."
  • (Unnamed) "Hey Ehren, maybe after this movie you'll finally lose your virginity."
  • (Unnamed) "That was fun. Let's never do that again."
  • (Unnamed) "Can somebody make a dick run?"
  • (Unnamed) "So the guys think they're coming here for a photo shoot, but little do they know we've got a s***load of bees we're gonna put through the sunroof and we've rigged the locks so they can't get out."
  • (Unnamed) "And when they do get out, we got some marbles waiting for them."
  • (Unnamed) "This is the Beehive Limo."
  • (Unnamed) "Alright, you f***ers, the jig is up. Where's the f***ing card throwing machine?"
  • (Unnamed) "OH, THE f***ING CHAIR IS RIGGED."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.




Additional Film and TV Quotes

Arrest and Trial Quotes | Harrison Bergeron (film) Quotes | Bolero (1934 film) Quotes | Birth of the 10th! Kamen Riders All Together!! Quotes | One Last Thing... Quotes | Frosty Returns Quotes | Frosty's Winter Wonderland Quotes | How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (TV special) Quotes | The Day After Tomorrow (TV special) Quotes | The Lost Battalion (2001 film) Quotes | The Adventures of Captain Africa Quotes | Critical Condition (film) Quotes | Homecoming (1996 film) Quotes | The Commitments (film) Quotes | Sit and Be Fit Quotes | Eye of the Needle (film) Quotes | Sex, Chips and Rock n' Roll Quotes | Live and Smokin' Quotes | In God We Tru$t Quotes | Richard Pryor: Live in Concert Quotes | Which Way Is Up? Quotes | AdiĆ³s Amigo Quotes | The Vikings (1958 film) Quotes | Strange Bedfellows (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) Quotes | Hellboy (2004 film) Quotes |