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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a Sitcom that first aired in 2005 on FX, and FXX. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia stopped airing in 1970.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia aired for 13 seasons and 144 episodes. It features Tom Lofaro, Fred Savage; Matt Shakman; Randall Einhorn, Dave Chernin, John Chernin, Hunter Covington, and Todd Biermann as producer, Cormac Bluestone as composer, and Peter Smokler, and John Tanzer as head of cinematography. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is executive produced by Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Michael Rotenberg, Nick Frenkel, Scott Marder, Rob Rosell, and David Hornsby; Dan Attias; John Fortenberry; Matt Shakman; Megan Ganz. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is created by Rob McElhenney.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is 18-25 minutes long. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is produced by 3 Arts Entertainment, RCG Productions, and FX Productions and distributed by FX Networks, and 20th Television.

The cast includes: Glenn Howerton as Dennis Reynolds, Glenn Howerton as Frank Reynolds, Glenn Howerton as Donna, and Glenn Howerton as Dee Reynolds.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes

Glenn Howerton as Frank Reynolds

  • (Glenn Howerton) "I know some of you may have heard about that other guy -- I am not gonna diddle your kids. I'm not like that; that's not my thing. I met that guy in a titty bar."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm the Trash Man. I come out, I throw trash all over the- all over the ring. And then I start eatin' garbage. And then I pick up the trash can, and I bash the guy on the head."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Whoa, what's with the spray paint, man?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Uhh, what's with your outfit, man?"
  • (Mac) "I think you should bang Gail the Snail."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "My neice?"
  • (Mac) "Yeah."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Gail the Snail?"
  • (Mac) "Dude, what's more depraved than that, huh? She's not blood related so it's not that weird."
  • (Mac) "What do we need a mattress for?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "What do you mean what do we need a mattress for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside so we can take 'em to a nice comfortable place below deck and, you know, they can't refuse, because of the implication."
  • (Mac) "Oh, uh -- okay. You had me going there for the first part. The second half kinda threw me."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Well, dude, dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around and what does she see? Nothin' but open ocean. "Ahh, there's nowhere for me to run. What am I gonna do, say no?""
  • (Mac) "Okay. That -- that seems really dark."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Nah, no, it's not dark. You're misunderstanding me, bro."
  • (Mac) "I'm-I think I am."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Yeah, you are, because if the girl said no then the answer obviously is no --"
  • (Mac) "No. Right."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "But the thing is she's not gonna say no; she would never say no because of the implication."
  • (Mac) "-- Now, you've said that word "implication" a couple of times. Wha-what implication?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinkin' that they will."
  • (Mac) "But it sounds like she doesn't wanna have sex with you --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Why aren't you understanding this? She-she doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me. That's not the issue --"
  • (Mac) "Are you gonna hurt women?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm not gonna hurt these women. Why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you're not getting this at all."
  • (Mac) "I'm not getting it."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Goddamn."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Well, don't you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn't be in any danger."
  • (Mac) "So they are in danger."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "No one's in any danger."
  • (College Student) "Whoever it was seems to have been eating newspaper."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "All right, well, now we're gettin' somewhere. Which one of you idiots was eating a goddamn newspaper?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "It's gonna go both ways, dude. Sorry."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Really?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Yeah. What else? What else?"
  • (College Student) "This appears to be a piece of a credit card."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Inconclusive."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "How is that not specific to one of you?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "I wish it was, man, but that's inconclusive."
  • (College Student) "Oh, boy, there's a good deal of blood in this stool. Whoever's it is should see a doctor."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Well, don't give us judgements; just tell us what's in there. What's in there, what else?"
  • (College Student) "Is this wolf hair?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Also inconclusive."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Jesus Christ."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "So what, you want a maid?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "That's right, a maid. A maid I can bang."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Charlie can't read."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "He'll adapt."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "He'll adapt to reading?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "You're thirty-three years old, you're supposed to be sexually active. You're not supposed to be fondling your uncle under the table."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "You got to pay the troll toll if you want to get into this boy's hole."
  • (Mac) "Boom."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Boom."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Boom."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "All righty. Uh -- You, you, you, you, and you. Come over here."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "All right. Now, the rest of you kids can go with those two losers right there."
  • (Mac) "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell's going on over here?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm picking my team."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "No. No, you-you can't- you can't take all --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I can't pick the?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "You can't pick all --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "What should I not pick?"
  • (Mac) "You know exactly what you've done, sir."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Hooooly shit. Is that the ocean?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "What's on the other side of it there?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Europe."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Now, how long would it take --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Do not try and swim to Europe."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Don't swim to Europe --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Do not."
  • (Mac) "I have an idea."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Where did you come from?"
  • (Mac) "Frank, I've been walking next to you this entire time."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Let's talk about your likes and dislikes. Um, how 'bout your favorite food? What would that be?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Oh, milk steak."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Hm, what?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Milk steak."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm not putting milk steak."
  • (Mac) "Just put steak. Just put regular steak."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm gonna put steak."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Don't put steak, put milk steak. She'll know what it is."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "No, she won't know what it is, Charlie. Nobody knows what that is. Okay, all right. What's your favorite hobby?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Uh, magnets."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Okay, wha- like making magnets, collecting magnets?"
  • (Mac) "Playing with magnets?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Just magnets."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm gonna put snowboarding. We'll put snowboarding. All right, what are some of your likes?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Uh, ghouls."
  • (Mac) "Son of a bitch. What are you talking about now?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "You know, funny little green ghouls."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "What, like in movies? In cartoons?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Little green ghouls, buddy."
  • (Mac) "Don't write ghouls."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I'm not, I'm putting travel. Jesus Christ. What are your dislikes?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "People's knees."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Oh, come on. Dude, come on. We'll make the whole thing up, let's get outta here. We're not even gonna use you."
  • (Mac) "Bro, you've gotta be kidding. You know what? We'll just make it all up."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Cover your knees up if you're gonna be walking around everywhere --"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Your life is way more glamorous than what I was picturing."
  • (Roxy) "Yeh, yeh. Now, help me dig these crack rocks outta my ass."
  • (Mac) "Jesus Christ, Frank. Are you cutting your toenails with a steak knife?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "I suppose you have a problem with that, too?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Ah. Oh. Oh. Botched toe. I botched that one. Oh, that's a botch job. That's bleeding. I need some trash to plug up the cut."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "How much cheese have you eaten today?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "How much cheese is too much cheese?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "I had a lot of cheese, I had a block of cheese."
  • (Mac) "You had a block of cheese?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese."
  • (Mac) "Does that calm you down?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "We gotta definitely write a song about how we do not diddle kids. "Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddling kids.""
  • (Mac) "There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "So, we got ourselves a little Mexican girl here and I'm thinking, well, what does a little Mexican girl love more than anything else in the world?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Mmm, tacos."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Tacos, buddy. So, why not make for her a taco bed? You know what I mean?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Okay."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "She gets to, like, be in a taco every day. So, okay, I got yellow sheets. That's cheese. Green, guacamole. A red little pillow for salsa. And I got these cute little brown pjs so that she gets to feel like ground meat while she's sleeping."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Ah, she's the ground meat in the middle."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "She's the ground meat in the middle."
  • (Mort) "Frank. Frank. I need some water. My mouth is dry."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Your mouth is dry. Go into the toilet and run your mouth under the sink."
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Okay --"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Yeah, can I? Could I? Can I?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "I have a --"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Who's that?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "He's the mortician. I invited him."
  • (Charlie Kelly) "When was the last time we played Night Crawlers together, Frank?"
  • (Glenn Howerton) "Uhh. What's-what's that?"
  • (Charlie Kelly) "Well, it's -- not about you. Why don't you just write it down?"

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