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Inventing the Abbotts Quotes

Inventing the Abbotts is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Inventing the Abbotts ended in 1970.

It features Brian Grazer as producer, Michael Kamen in charge of musical score, and Kenneth MacMillan as head of cinematography.

Inventing the Abbotts is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Inventing the Abbotts is 112 minutes long. Inventing the Abbotts is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Will Patton as Lloyd Abbott, Joaquin Phoenix as Doug Holt, Jennifer Connelly as Eleanor Abbott, Michael Keaton as Narrator, Kathy Baker as Helen Holt, Liv Tyler as Pamela Abbott, Joaquin Phoenix as DougHolt, Billy Crudup as Jacey, and Billy Crudup as Jacey Holt.

Inventing the Abbotts Quotes

Michael Keaton as Narrator

  • (Michael Keaton) "My mother was right; if the Abbotts didn't exist, Jacey would have had to invent them, but it seems to me that inventing the Abbotts was something that almost everyone in Haley did, and still do. Alice reunited with Peter, lived out the same lie of a happy marriage that her mother and father have lived, and a new generation of Abbott parties began."
  • (Michael Keaton) "Jacey pretended to care for Alice so well, the illusion became so complete that even he was fooled."
  • (Michael Keaton) "The truth about our mother and Lloyd didn't comfort Jacey, because the truth seemed to him just as unfair as the lie he had always believed in."
  • (Michael Keaton) "The end of my innocence began in 1957. It is remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me. It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was, especially given my brother's knack at inventing himself."
  • (Michael Keaton) "My mother's life had been damaged by a lie, and my brother was forever lost in a maze of illusions that lie had created -- and I had followed him there. Jacey would never find his way out, but I had to -- and the only way I could do that was to forgive, but I could never forget."
  • (Michael Keaton) "My brother was more successful at re-inventing himself than I was. Jacey's parties at the University of Pennsylvannia werethe hippest ones around. And even though he had a major in architecture, he seriously minored in beautiful coeds."

Joaquin Phoenix as Doug Holt

  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "My brother and I were born strangers."
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "Either you're mad at me because you're mad at me or you're mad at me because you like me, because that's how girls act. I mean -- I don't know much but I know that. So, uh, which is it?"
  • (Liv Tyler) "Both."
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "Backyard nudity is hypocritical. It's insincere. People should do and say exactly what they feel and think and not try to hide things."
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "Every time an Abbott girl gets her period they throw some kind of party."
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "Hey, Jacey -- Remember that time I got my dick caught in my zipper?"
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "You always loved me no matter what I did, right?"
  • (Liv Tyler) "Yeah."
  • (Joaquin Phoenix) "Maybe that's how I love you. No matter what. It's the best kind of love, you know?"

Billy Crudup as Jacey Holt

  • (Unnamed) "You know, I'm engaged."
  • (Billy Crudup) "So am I."
  • (Unnamed) "You are?"
  • (Billy Crudup) "Sure. I'm engaged in conversation with you."
  • (Billy Crudup) "You look like a clown. He looks like a clown, mom, and he doesn't even know it."

Kathy Baker as Helen Holt

  • (Kathy Baker) "There's different kinds of love, darling. Some people you love no matter what, and others you love if the situation is right. To me, the best kind of love is the "no matter what" kind."
  • (Kathy Baker) "You do realize you may be the only person at this party with artificial sideburns?"

Will Patton as Lloyd Abbott

  • (Will Patton) "Keep your poor-boy dick out of my daughters."
  • (Will Patton) "Eleanor?"
  • (Jennifer Connelly) "Daddy."
  • (Will Patton) "What are you doing out here?"
  • (Jennifer Connelly) "Fucking Jacey."
  • (Will Patton) "You didn't know your mother at all if you think someone like me would ever stood a chance with someone like her."

Liv Tyler as Pamela Abbott

  • (Liv Tyler) "Look, I'm not rich. My father is. And I don't pick my father. And if I had a choice between having tons of money or having another father, I'd be absolutely deligthed to be poor. But unfortunately, life is just not a cafeteria."
  • (Liv Tyler) "Don't look at me as though someone just ran over your dog."

Jennifer Connelly as Eleanor Abbott

  • (Jennifer Connelly) "I just do things. I let other people figure them out. That's what parents are for; they're really good at doing all the thinking, so why should I?"

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