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Inspector Clouseau (film) Quotes

Inspector Clouseau (film) is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Inspector Clouseau ended in 1970.

It features Lewis J. Rachmil as producer, Ken Thorne in charge of musical score, and Arthur Ibbetson as head of cinematography.

Inspector Clouseau (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Inspector Clouseau (film) is 96 minutes long. Inspector Clouseau (film) is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Alan Arkin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau, Patrick Cargill as Commissioner Sir Charles Braithwaite, Katya Wyeth as Meg, Tracey Crisp as Julie, and Barry Foster as Addison Steele.

Inspector Clouseau (film) Quotes

Tracey Crisp as Julie

  • (Tracey Crisp) "I love the way you eat -- like a jungle animal."

Alan Arkin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau

  • (Lt. Lisa Morrel) "Hey, what about the crooks?"
  • (Alan Arkin) "The crooks never sleep and neither does Clouseau."
  • (Alan Arkin) "There is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh, and this is not one of them."
  • (Alan Arkin) "Yes, well, life is not all shoot-shoot, bang-bang, you know."
  • (Alan Arkin) "I ruin everything I touch."
  • (Lt. Lisa Morrel) "Hey, what's the matter with you?"
  • (Alan Arkin) "Arrested twice, I destroy a phone booth at a railroad station -- I steal from a nun, I don't know my own face. A man comes up to me with, with my own face tied on, I don't recognize who it is. I don't -- I don't deserve to have this autographed picture of Sean Connery."
  • (Alan Arkin) "The crooks never sleep and neither does Closeeau."
  • (Unnamed) "That's our final report. Over and out."
  • (Alan Arkin) "Roger and goodbye."
  • (Alan Arkin) "My face. You've stolen my face. Give me back my face, you fiend."
  • (Reporter) "Could you give us a statement please?"
  • (Alan Arkin) "Yes. Chocolate makes one very thirsty."
  • (Alan Arkin) "And now since we are becoming so chummy, perhaps you can tell me about the Great Train Robbery."
  • (Barry Foster) "I don't know nothing."
  • (Alan Arkin) "He who don't know nothing, must know something, eh?"
  • (Alan Arkin) "Anonymity is a virtue. Every fool knows that. Anonymity's next to cleanliness and I don't have to tell you what that's next to."
  • (Alan Arkin) "I shall let that pass, since you cannot possibly know whose leg it is that you are pushing."

Katya Wyeth as Meg

Patrick Cargill as Commissioner Sir Charles Braithwaite

  • (Patrick Cargill) "You must trust no one. The viper in our bosom could be anyone."
  • (Alan Arkin) "I suspect everyone."
  • (Patrick Cargill) "You will report only to me."
  • (Alan Arkin) "And what makes you think I trust you?"
  • (Patrick Cargill) "I think it only fair to say that your being brought in on this case was not my idea."
  • (Alan Arkin) "You are too modest."
  • (Patrick Cargill) "I've nursed this bottle since Dunkirk."

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