Inglourious Basterds Quotes

Inglourious Basterds is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Inglourious Basterds ended in 1970.

It features Lawrence Bender as producer, and Robert Richardson (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Inglourious Basterds is recorded in English, German, and French and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Inglourious Basterds is 153 minutes long. Inglourious Basterds is distributed by The Weinstein Company, and Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: Michael Bacall as Pfc. Michael Zimmerman, Diane Kruger as Bridget von Hammersmark, Denis Ménochet as Perrier LaPadite, Martin Wuttke as Adolf Hitler, Daniel Brühl as Fredrick Zoller, Mélanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfus, Sylvester Groth as Joseph Goebbels, Jacky Ido as Marcel, Julie Dreyfus as Francesca Mondino, August Diehl as Kliest, and Rod Taylor as Winston Churchill.

Inglourious Basterds Quotes

Mélanie Laurent as Shosanna Dreyfus

• (Mélanie Laurent) "You either do what the f*** we tell you, or I'll bury this axe in your collaborating skull."

• (Mélanie Laurent) "If you are so desperate for a French girlfriend, I suggest you try Vichy."

• (Mélanie Laurent) "My name is Shosanna Dreyfus and THIS is the face -- of Jewish vengeance."

• (Mélanie Laurent) "I don't wish to be your friend."
• (Daniel Brühl) "Why not?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Don't act like an infant. You know why."
• (Daniel Brühl) "I'm more than just a uniform."
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Not to me. If you are so desperate for a French girlfriend, I suggest you try Vichy."

Diane Kruger as Bridget von Hammersmark

• (Diane Kruger) "I can vouch for everything the young captain has just said. He does hail from the bottom of Piz Palu. He was in the film, and his brother is far more handsome than he."

• (Diane Kruger) "I know this is a silly question before I ask it, but can you Americans speak any other language besides English?"

• (Col. Hans Landa) "So who are your three handsome escorts?"
• (Diane Kruger) "I'm afraid neither three speak a word of German. They're friends of mine from Italy. This is the wonderful Italian stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi; a very talented cameraman, Antonio Margheriti; and Antonio's camera assistant, Dominick Decocco."
• (Diane Kruger) "Gentlemen, this is an old friend, Colonel Hans Landa of the SS."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Buongiorno."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Gentlemen, it's a pleasure; the friends of our cherished star, admired by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture, are naturally going to be under my personal protection for the duration of their stay."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Grazie."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Gorlomi? Am I pronouncing it correctly?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Sì -- er, corretto."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Gorla -- lomi? Say it for me once please?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Gorlami."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "I'm sorry, again?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Gorlami."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Once more?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Gorlami."

• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "I must say, I grow weary of these monkeyshines."
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "Did you hear that? That was the sound of my Walther. Pointed right at your testicles."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Why do you have your Walther pointed at my testicles?"
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "Because you've just given yourself away, Captain. You're no more German than that scotch."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Well, Major --"
• (Diane Kruger) "Major --"
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "Shut up, slut. You were saying?"
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "I was saying that that makes two of us. I've had a gun pointed at your balls since you sat down."
• (Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz) "That makes three of us. And at this range, I'm a real Frederick Zoller."
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "What's going to happen, Major -- you're going to stand up and walk out that door with us."
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. I'm afraid you and I -- we both know, Captain -- no matter what happens to anybody else in this room -- the two of us aren't going anywhere. Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm and his famous friends. If any of you expect to live, you'll have to shoot them too. Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan. How sad."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the King's."
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "By all means, Captain."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as how I may be rapping on the door momentarily --"
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "I must say, damn good stuff, Sir."
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Now, about this pickle -- we find ourselves in. It would appear there's only one thing left for you to do."
• (Major Dieter Hellstrom) "And what would that be?"
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Stiglitz --"
• (Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz) "Say "Auf Wiedersehen" to your Nazi balls."

• (Col. Hans Landa) "Let me see your foot."
• (Diane Kruger) "I beg your pardon?"
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Put your foot in my lap."
• (Diane Kruger) "Hans, you embarrass me."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Could you please reach into the right pocket of my coat and give me what you find in there?"
• (Col. Hans Landa) "May I?"
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Voila."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "What's that American expression? "If the shoe fits, you must wear it.""
• (Diane Kruger) "What now, Colonel?"

• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Now, before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions."
• (Diane Kruger) "Few questions about what?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try telling us what the f*** happened?"
• (Diane Kruger) "The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?"
• (Diane Kruger) "I can see since you didn't see what happened inside, that the Nazis being there must look odd."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Yeah, we got a word for that kind of odd in English. It's called "suspicious"."
• (Diane Kruger) "Everybody needs to calm down. You're letting your imagination get the better of you."
• (Diane Kruger) "You met the sergeant yourself. Willi. You remember him, don't you?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Yeah, I remember him."
• (Diane Kruger) "His wife had a baby tonight. He had just become a-"
• (Diane Kruger) "He had just become a father. His commanding officer gave him and his mates the night off to celebrate."
• (Diane Kruger) "The Germans being there was either a trap set by me or a tragic coincidence. It couldn't be both."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "How'd the shooting start?"
• (Diane Kruger) "The Englishman gave himself away."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "How'd he do that?"
• (Diane Kruger) "He ordered three glasses."
• (Diane Kruger) "We order three glasses."
• (Diane Kruger) "That's the German three. The other looks odd. Germans would and did notice it."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Okay, let's pretend there were no Germans and everything went exactly the way it was supposed to. What was the next step?"
• (Diane Kruger) "Tuxedos. To get them into the premiere wearing military uniforms with all the military there would've been suicide. But going as members of the German film industry, they wear tuxedos and fit in with everybody else. I arranged for the tailor to fit three tuxedos tonight."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "How'd you intend to get them in that premiere."
• (Diane Kruger) "Hand me my purse. Lieutenant Hicox was going as my escort. The other two were going as a German cameraman and his assistant."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "You still get us in that premiere?"
• (Diane Kruger) "You speak German better than your friends? No. Have I been shot? Yes. I don't see me tripping the light fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon. Least of all, by tomorrow night."

• (Diane Kruger) "There have been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from the Ritz to a much smaller venue."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the hell is Goebbels doin' stuff so damn peculiar?"
• (Diane Kruger) "It probably has something to do with the second development."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Which is?"
• (Diane Kruger) "The Führer is attending the premiere."
• (Martin Wuttke) "I've been rethinking my position in regards to your Paris premiere of "Nation's Pride". As the weeks have gone on and the Americans are on the beach, I do find myself thinking more and more about this Private Zoller. This boy has done something tremendous for us. And I'm beginning to think my participation in this event could be meaningful."
• (Sgt. Donny Donowitz) "f*** a duck."

• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Before we yank that slug out you, you need to answer a few questions."
• (Diane Kruger) "Few questions about what?"
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "About I got three men dead back there. Why don't you try telling us what the f*** happened?"
• (Diane Kruger) "The British officer blew his German act and the Gestapo major saw it."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Before we get into who shot John, why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?"

• (Diane Kruger) "I can see since you didn't see what happened inside, the Nazis being there must look odd."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "Yeah, we got a word for that kinda odd in English. It's called suspicious."

Sylvester Groth as Joseph Goebbels

• (Sylvester Groth) "It's only the offspring of slaves that allows America to be competitive athletically. American Olympic gold can be measured in Negro sweat."

• (Sylvester Groth) "How many seats in your auditorium?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Three hundred and fifty."
• (Sylvester Groth) "That's almost four hundred less than the Ritz."
• (Daniel Brühl) "But Herr Goebbels, that's not such a bad thing. You said yourself you didn't want to indulge every two-faced French bourgeois taking up space currying favor. With less seats it makes the event more exclusive. You're not trying to fill the house, they're fighting for seats. Besides, to hell with the French. This is a German night, a German event, a German celebration. This night is for you, me, the German military, the High Command, their family and friends. The only people who should be allowed in the room are the people who will be moved by the exploits on the screen."
• (Sylvester Groth) "I see your public speaking has improved."

• (Sylvester Groth) "You have opera boxes?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Oui."
• (Sylvester Groth) "How many?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Two."
• (Sylvester Groth) "More would be better."

Denis Ménochet as Perrier LaPadite

• (Col. Hans Landa) "May I smoke my pipe as well?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Please, Colonel, make yourself at home."

• (Col. Hans Landa) "The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German -- more precisely, German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "I suppose I would."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Rats spread diseases. They bite people."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Oui."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "No."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "But they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Ha. However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Probably not."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide. But there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer has brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity."

• (Col. Hans Landa) "Monsieur LaPadite, are you aware of the nickname the people of France have given me?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "I have no interest in such things."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "But you're aware of what they call me?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "I'm aware."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "What are you aware of?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "That they call you "The Jew Hunter"."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Precisely. I understand your trepidation in repeating it. Heydrich apparently hates the moniker the good people of Prague have bestowed on him. Actually, why he would hate the name "hangman" is baffling to me. It would appear he has done everything in his power to earn it. I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title, precisely BECAUSE I've earned it."

• (Col. Hans Landa) "Monsieur LaPadite, I regret to inform you I have exhausted the extent of my French. To continue to speak it so inadequately would only serve to embarrass me. However, I've been lead to believe that you speak English quite well."
• (Denis Ménochet) "Oui."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Well, it just so happens I do as well. This being your house, I ask your permission to switch back to English for the remainder of the conversation."

• (Col. Hans Landa) "Monsieur LaPadite, while I'm very familiar with you and your family, I have no way of knowing if you are familiar with who I am. Are you aware of my existence?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Yes."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "This is good. Are you aware of the job I've been ordered to carry out in France?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "Yes."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "Please tell me what you've heard?"
• (Denis Ménochet) "I've heard the Führer has put you in charge of rounding up the Jews left in France who are either hiding or passing for gentile."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "The Führer couldn't have said it better himself."
• (Denis Ménochet) "But the meaning of your visit, pleasant though it is, is mysterious to me. The Germans looked through my house nine months ago for hiding Jews and found nothing."
• (Col. Hans Landa) "I'm aware of that. I read the report on this area. But like any enterprise, when under new management, there's always a slight duplication of efforts. Most of it being a complete waste of time, but it needs to be done nevertheless. I just have a few questions, Monsieur LaPadite. If you can assist me with answers, my department can close the file on your family."

Martin Wuttke as Adolf Hitler

• (Martin Wuttke) "NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN."
• (Martin Wuttke) "How much more of these Jew swine must I endure? They butcher my men like they were fish bait. I have heard the rumors myself. Soldiers of the Third Reich, who have brought the world to its knees, now pecking and clucking like chickens. Do you know the latest rumor they've conjured up in their fear-induced delirium? The one that beats my boys with a bat. The one they call "the Bear Jew" is a golem."
• (General Frank) "Mein Führer, that is just soldier's gossip. No one really believes that the Bear Jew is a golem."
• (Martin Wuttke) "Why not? They seem to elude capture like an apparition. They seem to be able to appear and disappear at will. You want to prove they're flesh and blood?"
• (Martin Wuttke) "THEN BRING THEM TO ME. I will hang them naked, by their heels from the Eiffel Tower. And then throw their bodies into the sewers for the rats of Paris to feast on."

• (Martin Wuttke) "Extraordinary, my dear. Simply extraordinary. This is your finest film yet."
• (Sylvester Groth) "Thank you, mein Führer. Thank you."

Julie Dreyfus as Francesca Mondino

• (Julie Dreyfus) "Emanuelle, did you enjoy "Lucky Kids"?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "I rather liked Lillian Harvey."
• (Sylvester Groth) "Lillian Harvey. Never mention that name in my presence."

Daniel Brühl as Fredrick Zoller

• (Daniel Brühl) "It's been a pleasure chatting with a fellow cinema lover."

• (Daniel Brühl) "Who wants to send a message to Germany?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "I have a message for Germany."
• (Mélanie Laurent) "That you are all going to die."
• (Martin Wuttke) "Enough. Stop it."
• (Sylvester Groth) "Turn off the projector."
• (Mélanie Laurent) "And I want you to look deep into the face of the Jew that is going to do it."
• (Sylvester Groth) "I don't know what's going on. That does not belong in my movie."
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Marcel -- burn it down."
• (Jacky Ido) "Oui, Shosanna."

Rod Taylor as Winston Churchill

• (Rod Taylor) "You say he wants to take on the Jews, at their own game? Well, compared to, say, Louis B. Mayer -- how's he doing?"
• (Lt. Archie Hicox) "Quite well, actually. Since Goebbels has taken over, film attendance has steadily risen in Germany over the last eight years. But, Louis B. Mayer wouldn't be Goebbels proper opposite number. I believe Goebbels sees himself as closer to David O. Selznick."
• (Rod Taylor) "Brief him."

Jacky Ido as Marcel

• (Jacky Ido) "Ooh la la -- Danielle Darrieux."

• (Jacky Ido) "What are we talking about?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "Filling the cinema with Nazis and burning it to the ground."
• (Jacky Ido) "I'm not talking about that. You're talking about that."

• (Jacky Ido) "What the f*** are we supposed to do?"
• (Mélanie Laurent) "It looks like we're supposed to have a Nazi premiere."
• (Jacky Ido) "Like I said, what the f*** are we supposed to do?"

Michael Bacall as Pfc. Michael Zimmerman

• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier. We're gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' guerrilla army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only -- killin' Nazis. Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the god**** Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Sicily and jump out of a f***in' air-o-plane to teach the Nazis lessons in humanity. Nazi ain't got no humanity. They're the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That's why any and every son of a bitch we find wearin' a Nazi uniform, they're gonna die. Now, I'm the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the German will be sickened by us, and the German will talk about us, and the German will fear us. And when the German closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good?"
• (Michael Bacall) "YES, SIR."
• (Lt. Aldo Raine) "That's what I like to hear. But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y'all will git me one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Nazis. Or you will die tryin'."

August Diehl as Kliest

• (August Diehl) "Mein Führer, do you still wish to see Private Butz?"
• (Martin Wuttke) "Who and what is a "Private Butz"?"

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.