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Igor (film) Quotes

Igor (film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Igor stopped airing in 1970.

It features John D. Eraklis, and Max Howard as producer, Patrick Doyle in charge of musical score, and Dominique Monfery as head of cinematography.

Igor (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Igor (film) is 86 minutes long. Igor (film) is distributed by MGM Distribution Co..

The cast includes: John Cusack as Igor, Sean Hayes as Brain, Molly Shannon as Eva, Eddie Izzard as Dr. Schadenfreude, Steve Buscemi as Scamper, and John Cleese as Dr. Glickenstein.

Igor (film) Quotes

John Cusack as Igor

  • (John Cusack) "As somebody I loved once said: It's better to be a good nobody, than an evil somebody."
  • (John Cusack) "Oh, God, she's killing blind orphans. That's so -- evil. I mean, which is great. But -- blind orphans ?"
  • (John Cusack) "I know, right? And she's not even done, yet."
  • (John Cusack) "Only one thing left to do --"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Ha-ha, he said "do.""
  • (John Cusack) "Pull the switch."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Do not yell at me."
  • (John Cusack) "Oh, I-I'm sorry. I just -- pull the switch?"
  • (John Cusack) "Please pull the switch."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "That's better."
  • (John Cusack) "Hi, I'm here about the "Igor Wanted" ad. My name's Igor. Well, of course it is. I have a hunch, what's my name gonna be? Kevin?"
  • (John Cusack) "That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions."
  • (John Cusack) "I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Will nothing end this vicious cycle?"
  • (John Cusack) "I also made him talk, which is a hassle for me, since he never shuts up."
  • (John Cusack) "I always wanted to be an evil scientist. Unfortunately the hunch on my back was a one-way ticket to Igor School. I majored in Talking With A Slur and graduated with a Yes Masters Degree."
  • (John Cusack) "But eventually I landed a job for Dr. Glickenstein."
  • (John Cleese) "Pull the switch."
  • (John Cusack) "Not the smartest scientist. His last invention was an Evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good."
  • (John Cusack) "Nice weather we're having, huh? Here in the Kingdom of Malaria, every day's forecast is rainy, with a 100% chance of horror. It wasn't always like this, though. Years ago, Malaria was a sunny land of farmers, until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in, and never left. They killed our crops, and our people became poor. And that's when King Malpert thought up a new way for us to make money: Evil Inventions. The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again way worse. We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them. Oh, it's a great gig, especially if you're an evil scientist. Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills. They get it all. They're the top of the heap."
  • (Unnamed) "Igor, pull the switch."
  • (Unnamed) "Yes, Master."
  • (John Cusack) "And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor schlobs like me, born with a hunch on our back; Igors."

John Cleese as Dr. Glickenstein

  • (John Cleese) "Now to take the old cow for a test drive."
  • (John Cusack) "No, Master. The rocket is going to --."
  • (John Cusack) "Uh, yeah, that."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Finally. Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer, that thing is hideous."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "We were all thinking it, I just said it."

Steve Buscemi as Scamper

  • (Steve Buscemi) "Hans, you're wearing this backwards. What are you, blin-? Uh --"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Dang it. Still here."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "What? Like this is the first time I've gnawed my own feet off?"

Molly Shannon as Eva

  • (Molly Shannon) "We haven't met. Hi, I'm Eva."
  • (Molly Shannon) "You're upset. I know -- 'who's the strange woman living with Igor?' But, I assure you, Igor and I are just friends. As his girlfriend, you have nothing to worry about."
  • (Unnamed) "I'm not hees geerlfriend."
  • (Molly Shannon) "You're not? But the way he looks at you -- he never looks at me that way."
  • (Unnamed) "Maybe -- some men like vomen, who don't look like zey vere put togezer in ze junkyard."
  • (Molly Shannon) "Right."
  • (Unnamed) "You have a very ugly face."
  • (Molly Shannon) "As an actor, I feel VERY deeply about everything. And enjoy every minute of it."

Sean Hayes as Brain

  • (Sean Hayes) "Aw, blind orphans get everything."
  • (Sean Hayes) "Is French Fries an idea?"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Our work here is done."
  • (Steve Buscemi) ""Our work"? You spent the whole time playing with a piece of ribbon."
  • (Sean Hayes) "Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why does he get to pull the switch?"
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Because I'm not an idiot, Brian."
  • (Sean Hayes) "My name is not Brian."
  • (Steve Buscemi) "Then you must have his jar."
  • (John Cusack) "Stop. You can both pull the switch. On the count of three. One --"
  • (Sean Hayes) "Hey, no fair."

Eddie Izzard as Dr. Schadenfreude

  • (Eddie Izzard) "That's final."
  • (Eddie Izzard) "No more Doctor-Don't-Kill-anybody."
  • (Eddie Izzard) "How do we get this evil bone up and running? Do we kick it? Slap it? Take it to the movies and call it Irene?"

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