Igby Goes Down Quotes

Igby Goes Down is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Igby Goes Down stopped airing in 1970.

It features David Rubin as producer, Jörn-Uwe Fahrenkrog-Petersen in charge of musical score, and Wedigo von Schultzendorff as head of cinematography.

Igby Goes Down is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Igby Goes Down is 98 minutes long. Igby Goes Down is distributed by United Artists.

The cast includes: Kieran Culkin as Igby, Ryan Phillippe as Oliver, Bill Pullman as Jason Slocumb, Claire Danes as Sookie, Susan Sarandon as Mimi, Jeff Goldblum as D.H. Banes, Amanda Peet as Rachel, Jared Harris as Russell, Celia Weston as Bunny, and Cynthia Nixon as Mrs. Piggee.

Igby Goes Down Quotes

Kieran Culkin as Igby

• (Kieran Culkin) "Are you a vegetarian?"
• (Claire Danes) "Why would you ask that?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "I've just never seen anybody roll a joint like that."
• (Claire Danes) "What does that have to do with being a vegetarian?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Oh, they're just so precious."
• (Claire Danes) "I roll perfect joints."
• (Kieran Culkin) "I'm not putting them down, they're incredible."
• (Claire Danes) "Well, thank you."
• (Kieran Culkin) "It's incredible that a human being can make such neat, little joints."
• (Claire Danes) "You make it sound as if I'm anal or something, just because I know how to roll a perfect joint."
• (Kieran Culkin) "No, not anal. Vegetarian."
• (Claire Danes) "Well, what does that mean?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Well, you don't roll like, big rasta spliff joints, do you? Your joints are like salad joints, not like a big, sloppy, bleeding cheeseburger-that-you-rip-into-kind-of-a-joint joint."
• (Claire Danes) "I guess marijuana isn't a visceral experience for me. Sex is for me."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Right."
• (Claire Danes) "Ok, so I am a vegetarian, but for purely moral reasons."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Well, I guess DH told you."
• (Susan Sarandon) "What?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Well, we've decided to bump all those incredibly prominent and terribly chic persons that you were expecting to speak at your memorial and, well, have me speak for two hours or so."
• (Susan Sarandon) "What a clever idea. You do understand though, don't you, that it is customary in a eulogy to at least make reference to the deceased?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "I intend to, Mother -- time permitting."

• (Kieran Culkin) "You killed her. You can bury her."

• (Kieran Culkin) "If heaven is such a wonderful place then what was the big f***ing sacrifice?"

• (Kieran Culkin) "He was ten-speeding a gazillion miles per hour through Central Park. You know, racing with all the other young Turks. When, all of a sudden he caught a glimpse of himself in the handlebar mirror and became so -- aroused by it that he burst his Speedo shorts which then got caught in the gears and threw him right on his face. Splatter."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Oliver is majoring in neo-fascism at Colombia."
• (Ryan Phillippe) "Economics."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Semantics."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I know a girl from Baltimore."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I'm going to California. I need a f***ing sunny day."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Instead of saying someone or something is funny, why don't you just laugh?"
• (Claire Danes) "Is that better?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Much."

• (Kieran Culkin) "She's a dancer who doesn't dance and her friend is a painter who doesn't paint. It's kind of a Boho version of the Island of the Lost Toys."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Turtle. He was my best buddy. Then his rifle backfired and blew his face off. We all learned a valuable lesson about weapon maintenance that day."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Why didn't the school inform me?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "It wasn't the school's fault. They were great about it, paid for the dry cleaning and everything. Not because they had to, but because it was the right thing to do."

• (Kieran Culkin) "How many Vassar professors and intellectual theologians beget nymphomaniacal, pseudo-Bohemian JAPs?"
• (Claire Danes) "I am not a JAP."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I love the fact that the captain of the morality team invites his chick to the same party as his wife, who let's face it, isn't the sharpest tool in the shed anymore. And what's more, none of their supposed mutual friends protects her. None of them bats a f***ing eyelash at his hypocrisy. I love that, I really do. Embrace your moral hypocrisy, D.H., go for it."

• (Kieran Culkin) "You know just because you're dying, I'm not going to apologize. Not for anything that I've ever done."

• (Girl) "Hello?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Lisa Fiedler?"
• (Girl) "Uh huh."
• (Kieran Culkin) "I know a girl from Baltimore."
• (Girl) "So what?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "I know a girl from Baltimore"
• (Girl) "What are you talking about?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "I KNOW A GIRL FROM BALTIMORE."
• (Girl) "So do I."
• (Girl) "Lisa, there's some guy here for you but he keeps talking about --"
• (Lisa Fiedler) "Who is it?"
• (Girl) "I don't know. He keeps saying something about Baltimore."
• (Lisa Fiedler) "The drugs."
• (Girl) "Oh, the drugs."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I'm scared."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Why couldn't she have been a f***ing smoker."
• (Ryan Phillippe) "This has nothing to do with her being in such wonderful shape. The cause of our trouble was our inability to come up with a drug short of paint thinner, that would be at least somewhat novel to her system. She's built up a tolerance to everything."
• (Kieran Culkin) "A tolerance? She's taking her f***ing afternoon nap."

• (Kieran Culkin) "You think you're what he wants? You think you fit the picture of how he wants his life to look? You think he would bring you back to our mother as a potential wife? Our mother? Sure she'd be nice to your face, but then the first opportunity, she'd pull him aside and warn him off. "Mongrel children have such a hard time fitting in dearest." He will lie to you. He will lie to you. He will use you up and marry some inbred Darien Frau who will beget him all the towheaded brats he can afford. They are rigid and they are cold. And you don't know. They are cold, cold, cold to the f***ing bone."

• (Kieran Culkin) "That tortures me."

• (Kieran Culkin) "I didn't know Georgie had a sister. Well uh, I'm just in town for a little while, at the O'Hare Hilton. Listen, what are you up to?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "But I'm an incredibly cool and young teacher."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Why, how old are you?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Really? You sound older than 11."
• (Kieran Culkin) "You're right, it's probably all the cigarettes."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Russell. I need a job."

• (Kieran Culkin) "Why do you want me to be here, mother?"
• (Susan Sarandon) "Comic relief."

• (Kieran Culkin) "It's ironic that the first time in my life that I feel remotely affectionate for her, is when she's dead."
• (Ryan Phillippe) "You beat up her corpse."
• (Kieran Culkin) "I know, but after that."

Susan Sarandon as Mimi

• (Susan Sarandon) "I take it you know that D.H. is your father?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "No."
• (Susan Sarandon) "Then I'm really glad I told you."

• (Susan Sarandon) "His conception was an act of animosity, why shouldn't his life be one as well?"

Bill Pullman as Jason Slocumb

• (Bill Pullman) "You see it, Igby? I feel this great, great pressure coming down on me. It's constantly coming down on me. It's crushing me."

Ryan Phillippe as Oliver

• (Ryan Phillippe) "I think if Gandhi had had to hang out with you for any prolonged period of time, he'd have ended up kicking the s*** out of you."

• (Ryan Phillippe) "So we started calling him Igby whenever he lied. And he lied a lot."

Claire Danes as Sookie

• (Claire Danes) "You're the fascist brother."
• (Kieran Culkin) "He prefers young Republican."

• (Claire Danes) "Dimebag -- well that got your attention."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Pavlov's pothead -- I hear the sound of a bong clink and my eyes begin to water."
• (Claire Danes) "That's funny."

• (Claire Danes) "You know what I think when I'm this close to another body? I think one day at one moment -- this body that I'm holding in my arms will stop breathing -- stop living. Just -- stop. One day you'll happen upon my name in the obits and you'll remember this moment when we were so close."
• (Kieran Culkin) "You're a real f***in' upper."

• (Claire Danes) "He's your brother, you act like you hate him."
• (Kieran Culkin) "I do. I do hate him. He's totally hateable. Evil niblet f***."

• (Claire Danes) "You're a furious boy. I mean eventually you won't be a boy and it'll eat you up."
• (Kieran Culkin) "'Furious boy'? The thought that I'm going to live my life without ever having told her to f*** off, is pretty god**** infuriating."

• (Claire Danes) "How's your brother doing these days?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "I don't have a brother, I'm an only child."
• (Claire Danes) "Oliver was your brother I thought."
• (Kieran Culkin) "He is, and yet --"
• (Claire Danes) "And yet what?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Well I was about to say that we were both raised only children, but that sounds like something you would say."
• (Claire Danes) "That's funny."

• (Claire Danes) "What kind of name is 'Igby'?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "The kind of name that someone named 'Sookie' is in no position to question."

• (Claire Danes) "Do you hate my guts?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "For like a month I did. Now you're not even in my top five."

• (Claire Danes) "Why aren't you in school now?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Sheer ingenuity."
• (Claire Danes) "You're funny."

• (Claire Danes) "You have a huge crush on me, don't you?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "f*** off."

• (Claire Danes) "My parents were two very idealistic, incredibly bright, narcissists. I was like their vanity project."

Amanda Peet as Rachel

• (Amanda Peet) "How you doin'?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Good."
• (Jeff Goldblum) "Igby, Igby -- how you doin'? Well. You're doing "well". How's the work coming along there, stud?"
• (Kieran Culkin) "Uh -- well?"

• (Amanda Peet) "So are you two in school or something?"
• (Ryan Phillippe) "I'm at Columbia and as far as this year's challenge for Igby, we're still waiting to hear back from this fun parochial school in D.C."
• (Kieran Culkin) ""Perchance to dream.""
• (Ryan Phillippe) "He's already done the Protestant circuit. Mom must have some compromising photos of the head priest with an altar boy for them to even be considering Igby."

Cynthia Nixon as Mrs. Piggee

• (Cynthia Nixon) "And you, you, ummm -- well this is what you're up to."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Bigger picture Darwinism."
• (Mr. Nice Guy) "You two know each other. Wow."
• (Cynthia Nixon) "Yes, yes. Igby Slocum was in my art class. He was one of my students. You used to call me Miss Piggy, didn't you, Igby."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Yeah."
• (Kieran Culkin) "You want me to cut this for you?"

Jared Harris as Russell

• (Jared Harris) "I told her; Lorna Luft was just too f***ing obscure. People just think you're doing a bad Liza."

• (Jared Harris) "Psycho bitch. She's a little upset. Her one-woman play didn't go down too well at the Pyramid tonight."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Uh-huh."
• (Jared Harris) "THE WORLD ISN'T READY FOR PEEKA. I told her, Lorna Luft is just too f***ing obscure. People just think you're doing a bad Liza."

• (Jared Harris) "Anne Frank. Anne Frank. The soldiers are gone. Come out and play."

Celia Weston as Bunny

• (Celia Weston) "Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon."
• (Kieran Culkin) "Don't."

Jeff Goldblum as D.H. Banes

• (Jeff Goldblum) "Mimi. GET OFF THE MAID."

• (Jeff Goldblum) "I believe, umm, that certain people in life are meant to fall by the wayside; to serve as warnings to the rest of us; signs posts along the way."
• (Kieran Culkin) "To where?"
• (Jeff Goldblum) "Success."
• (Ryan Phillippe) "Our father would be a 'slippery when schizophrenic' sign, for instance --"
• (Ryan Phillippe) "-- along the highway of life."

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