(Article is below...)

Howard the Duck (film) Quotes

Howard the Duck (film) is a TV show that first aired in 1970 . Howard the Duck stopped airing in 1970.

It features Gloria Katz as producer, John Barry, Songs:, and Thomas Dolby in charge of musical score, and Richard H. Kline as head of cinematography.

Howard the Duck (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Howard the Duck (film) is 111 minutes long. Howard the Duck (film) is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Lea Thompson as Beverly, Paul Guilfoyle as Lieutenant Welker, William Hall as Officer Hanson, Jeffrey Jones as Dr. Jenning, Tim Robbins as Phil Blumburtt, Tommy Swerdlow as Ginger Moss, and Miles Chapin as Carter.

Howard the Duck (film) Quotes

Jeffrey Jones as Dr. Jenning

  • (Jeffrey Jones) "You are about to make history a second time, my little friend."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Thanks. But once was plenty."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "It feels like something inside me, gnawing at my guts -- what's wrong with me?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "Well -- what did you have for lunch?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "In the lab that night, we saw a single feather fall. We weren't aware that the rest of you, Howard, had landed in that alley just two miles away. Any questions?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Yeah. Where are my pants?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "You think that's funny, Jenning?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I'm not Jenning anymore. The transformation is complete. I am now -- someone else."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Try telling that to your insurance company."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "The world is in great danger."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Yeah, it certainly is when you're out on the highway."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "It was just a routine procedure, meant to measure the density of the gases that surround Alpha Centauri. However, partway through the experiment, there was a deviation, and, uh -- we lost control of the laser spectroscope."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "What do you mean, "lost control"?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Some unknown force was redirecting the laser beam from its original target, so that it hit your planet instead."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Hit my planet? How about 'hit my living room'? Talk about an invasion of privacy."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "If you can't take the heat, get out of that kitchen."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Eat claw, duck."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "An evil unlike any you can imagine is about to engulf the Earth."
  • (Waitress) "Oh, no, no, we are fighting here all the time."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I told you, bird-brain, I am not Jenning anymore. I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the Universe."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Hmm, Dark Overlord of the Universe?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "That must be quite a responsibility."

Miles Chapin as Carter

  • (Miles Chapin) "This relationship; it defies all the laws of nature."

Lea Thompson as Beverly

  • (Lea Thompson) "Book 'em, duck-o."
  • (Lea Thompson) "I'm sorry I'm so nervous. It's just that I've never been around a -- Um, I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know. They seem like such a hassle; you know, feeding 'em, cleaning up their little poo-poos, and --"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "I'll try to be careful."
  • (Lea Thompson) "You got some place to go?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Hey, if I had some place to go I certainly wouldn't be in 'Cleve-Land'."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Make yourself at home."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Make myself at home? I wish."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "I've got a headache --"
  • (Lea Thompson) "And I've got the aspirin."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Be gentle."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Hiya, Duckie."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Hi, Toots."
  • (Lea Thompson) "If that's the way you want it. Then, so long, Duckie."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Don't shed any tears over me, Toots."
  • (Lea Thompson) "I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Excuse me, are you in charge here?"
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "Yeah, why?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "Well, I want to know why they're harassing Howard."
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "Who's Howard?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent, um --"
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) ""Thing"?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "No. Duck."
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "Just an innocent duck?"
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "No wonder why I'm asking for early retirement."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Listen, would you like something to eat or drink? Milk? I could put it in a bowl?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. Do you gotta beer?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "I don't know where you are now, but I hope you're happier there. This world didn't treat you very good, but you saved it, didn't you?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "Okay. Alright. Turn me into a dark overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face."
  • (Lea Thompson) "I was worried about you. I missed you."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Well, sex appeal. Some guys got it; and some guys don't."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Not bad for a duck from outer space."
  • (Lea Thompson) "You were great, Duckie."
  • (Lea Thompson) "You play pretty good."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "I had a group in high school: Howard and the Heartbreakers."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Oh, heavy, Howard. Very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager. Wait a second. Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro influence we need."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Put him down. Howard may be a duck, but you people are animals. He's my boyfriend."
  • (3rd Trucker) "That's disgusting."
  • (Lea Thompson) "You don't make me proud to be a human."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Bev, I am not a real sentimental guy."
  • (Lea Thompson) "No. I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, Duckie."
  • (Lea Thompson) "I just can't seem to find the right man."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Ah, you think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Duckie?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Like they say, Doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Okay, let's go for it Mr. Macho."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "What is this place?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "Uh -- Cleveland?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Cleve-Land? U-huh. That's a perfect weird name for this planet."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "I've given up trying to assimilate. I've got to get back to my own kind."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Althoooooough -- I HAVE developed a greater appreciation for the female version of the human anatomy -- ARROOOOO."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Howard, you really are the worst."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "He-he."
  • (Lea Thompson) "Come on, let's watch David Letterman. Come on."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Okie-dookie."
  • (Lea Thompson) "What's this in my bed?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Ah, souvenirs?"
  • (Lea Thompson) "I'm gonna miss you a lot, Duckie."
  • (Lea Thompson) "What am I gonna do with you, Duckie?"

Tim Robbins as Phil Blumburtt

  • (Tim Robbins) "Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress though and I brought a pizza."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Philsy, help. Philsy, help me."
  • (Tim Robbins) "Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Shut up and save me."
  • (Tim Robbins) "DUCK."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "And proud of it."
  • (Tim Robbins) "Did you find the toolbox?"
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Yeah, I know why you want a toolbox; you got a screw loose."
  • (Tim Robbins) "I've already got a theory."
  • (Lea Thompson) "What theory?"
  • (Tim Robbins) "Well, this is, of course, the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed from monkey to me, for instance."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "You consider that progress? Jeez, you're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting."
  • (Tim Robbins) "Now, I want you both to imagine, somewhere in the universe, is Howard's world. Picture it, in your mind, a world almost exactly like ours except the progenitor of the dominant species was not a monkey; but, a duck."
  • (Howard T. Duck) "Sound theory. Every school duck knows this stuff."

Tommy Swerdlow as Ginger Moss

  • (Tommy Swerdlow) "Mallard in the side pocket."

Paul Guilfoyle as Lieutenant Welker

  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "You are gonna go play sitting duck in a jail cell."
  • (William Hall) "Lieutenant; what's the charge, sir?"
  • (Paul Guilfoyle) "Illegal alien."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.




Additional Film and TV Quotes

My Father and My Son Quotes | Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself Quotes | Our Brand Is Crisis (2005 film) Quotes | The Vampire Bat Quotes | Cinema of Unease: A Personal Journey by Sam Neill Quotes | Zerophilia Quotes | Garden of Evil Quotes | Rocket Gibraltar Quotes | The Queen (2006 film) Quotes | The Worst of Faces of Death Quotes | Always Outnumbered Quotes | Mata Hari (1931 film) Quotes | Carry On Dick Quotes | The Man from Snowy River (1982 film) Quotes | Little Miss Jocelyn Quotes | The Fatal Hour (1940 film) Quotes | Vivir un poco Quotes | Cooking for Kids with Luis Quotes | Race with the Devil Quotes | Revolt of the Zombies Quotes | Faces of Death IV Quotes | One Body Too Many Quotes | Paprika (2006 film) Quotes | Charlie Don't Surf (Veronica Mars) Quotes | Island of Lost Women Quotes |