Housesitter Quotes

Housesitter is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . Housesitter completed its run in 1970.

It features Brian Grazer as producer, Miles Goodman in charge of musical score, and John A. Alonzo as head of cinematography.

Housesitter is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Housesitter is 101 minutes long. Housesitter is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Roy Cooper as Moseby, Richard B. Shull as Ralph, Goldie Hawn as Gwen, Steve Martin as Newton Davis, Peter MacNicol as Marty, Donald Moffat as George Davis, and Dana Delany as Becky Metcalf.

Housesitter Quotes

Goldie Hawn as Gwen

• (Goldie Hawn) "I don't want your money. I will take the furniture, though."

• (Goldie Hawn) "I really didn't intend for it to get this elaborate, it's just that everyone around here keeps treating me like I'm somebody -- except you."

• (Goldie Hawn) "Don't yell at me, we're only pretending to be married."

• (Goldie Hawn) "I don't want your god**** money."
• (Steve Martin) "No, just my god**** house."

• (Goldie Hawn) "Oh, grow feathers and go s*** in a tree."

Steve Martin as Newton Davis

• (Steve Martin) "Half the things we tell ourselves are fiction."

• (Steve Martin) "I PUNCHED A TOTALLY INNOCENT HUNGARIAN."

• (Steve Martin) "Where did all this furniture come from?"
• (Goldie Hawn) "Bigelows."

• (Steve Martin) "I love you, Gwen."
• (Goldie Hawn) "Actually, it's Jessica."

• (Steve Martin) "Tell me why for God's sake did you come here?"
• (Goldie Hawn) "I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in that picture."

• (Steve Martin) "What do you say, Gwen? "Gwen" do you get off -- and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?"

• (Steve Martin) "Don't you remember the time I -- I -- I had myself delivered to you in a box for your birthday? And -- and the guy I paid to deliver the box screwed up and delivered me to the wrong apartment? And -- and how the -- the lady who opened the box -- uh -- freaked out and started screaming? And I ran out of there just as you poked your head into the hall. And -- and the next thing I know, this one's bashing me for having an affair with her neighbor, and this one's bashing me for being some kind of gift-wrapped pervert? And -- and all I had to protect myself was -- was a dozen roses. And -- and -- and you never even read the note."
• (Unnamed) "What did the note say?"
• (Steve Martin) "I -- I'll tell you what it said -- it said -- marry me, Gwen, I'm lost without you."

• (Steve Martin) "Wow. You're a genius. You're like the Ernest Hemingway of bulls***."

Dana Delany as Becky Metcalf

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Peter MacNicol as Marty

• (Peter MacNicol) "You're marrying this girl?"
• (Steve Martin) "It's not marriage. It's an informal arrangement where she humiliates me in public and makes my life difficult, and in return I let her live in my home."
• (Peter MacNicol) "That's marriage."

Roy Cooper as Moseby

• (Roy Cooper) "What kind of work are you in, Bernie?"
• (Richard B. Shull) "I'm retired."
• (Roy Cooper) "Oh? From what?"
• (Richard B. Shull) "From all the big hairy bulls***."

Donald Moffat as George Davis

• (Donald Moffat) "What she told us was how sorry you were, like the other week, when you cried? No shame in it, son. Just don't do it too often. Nobody likes a cry baby."

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