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House of 1000 Corpses Quotes

House of 1000 Corpses is a television program that was first aired in 1970 . House of 1000 Corpses stopped airing in 1970.

It features Andy Gould as producer, Rob Zombie, and Scott Humphrey in charge of musical score, and Alex Poppas, and Tom Richmond as head of cinematography.

House of 1000 Corpses is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of House of 1000 Corpses is 88 minutes long. House of 1000 Corpses is distributed by Lions Gate Entertainment.

The cast includes: Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding, Bill Moseley as Otis, Karen Black as Mother, Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby, Erin Daniels as Denise Willis, Rainn Wilson as Bill Hudley, Tom Towles as Lt. George Wydell, Jennifer Jostyn as Mary Knowles, Michael J. Pollard as Stucky, Chris Hardwick as Jerry Goldsmith, and Dennis Fimple as Grandpa Hugo.

House of 1000 Corpses Quotes

Bill Moseley as Otis

  • (Bill Moseley) "Watch that bitch, she's thinking about that Klugman bangin' Brett Sommers, pick motherf***ing Richard Dawson."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Huntin' humans ain't nothin' but nothin'. They all run like scared little rabbits. Run, rabbit, run. Run, rabbit. Run, rabbit. Run rabbit. Run, rabbit, run. RUN, RABBIT, RUN."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Now, I'm gonna remove your gap -- But. If you make so much as a f***in' peep. I'm going to cut you like a pig and make you eat your own f***ing intestines -- you got me?"
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "Why are you, Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this?"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Doing what? Messy up your day?"
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "Where's Bill? Where's Bill?"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Bill -- He's a good guy, Ohhh hoo -- He's been great help to me. A real blessin' -- I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better specimen. You don't know what kinda dry spell I've had here. Total Block, Total Block. But Bill -- He's OK."
  • (Bill Moseley) ""Why", you ask? "Why" is not the question. How? Now, that is a question worth examining. How could I, being born of such, uh -- conventional stock, arrive a leader of the rebellion? An escapist from a conformist world, destined to find happiness only in that which cannot be explained? I brought you here for a reason, but unfortunately you and your sentimental minds are doing me no good. My brain is frozen. Locked. I have to break free from this culture of mechanical reproductions and the thick encrustations dying on the surface."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Oh, Christ. f*** it."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Hey, happy boy, step your ass up here."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Take his gag out. It's more fun with the screaming."
  • (Karen Black) "I like that too. That screaming is much more exciting that way."
  • (Chris Hardwick) "Please don't kill us, please don't kill us."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Please don't kill us -- nah -- please don't kill us."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Shut your mouth and get your s*** in the box. Get in now."
  • (Karen Black) "Wait, wait, wait -- I wanna say goodbye."
  • (Karen Black) "Goodbye, sweetie. We could've been great."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Ain't we just having a f***ing hoot?"
  • (Chris Hardwick) "Just let us go, I swear to God we won't tell anyone. I swear --"
  • (Karen Black) "Honey, you know I can't do that."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Ain't we just having a f***ing hoot?"
  • (Rufus 'R.J.' Firefly Jr.) "Get your f***ing ass up, boy."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Come on, we ain't got all night."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Where does she think she's gonna run to? She gonna run all the way home?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "No, let me get her."
  • (Bill Moseley) "All right, go get her."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Oh it's real, as real as I want it to be mama"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Look, see the magic in my brush strokes."
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "f*** you, you f***ing freak."
  • (Bill Moseley) "h, come now -- we're all creatures of God and freaks in our own way --"
  • (Bill Moseley) "-- but if you'll notice --"
  • (Bill Moseley) "right here, needs a little something, heh?"
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "What are you doing?"
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "-- no, stop -- please, please."
  • (Bill Moseley) "You, my dear worm feeder, are about to become immortalized."
  • (Bill Moseley) "I'm the one who brings the Christmas candy. Now tell me, who's your daddy? I'm the one who brings the devil's brandy."
  • (Karen Black) "Who's your daddy?"
  • (Bill Moseley) "I'm the one who beats you when you're bad."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Who's your daddy?"
  • (Karen Black) "Who's your daddy?"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Come on, sweetie. Give the old man some sugar."
  • (Erin Daniels) "Daddy, Daddy."
  • (Bill Moseley) "And I'm the one who loves ya when you're f***ing dead."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Shut your mouth."
  • (Bill Moseley) "I said, shut your f***ing mouth."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of s***, I'm tryin' to work here. Work? You ever work? Yeah, I'll bet you have. Scoopin' ice cream to your s***-heel friends on summer break. Well I ain't talkin' about no god**** white socks with Mickey Mouse on one side and Donald Duck on the other. I ain't readin' no funny books, mama. Our bodies come and go but this blood -- is forever."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Better you leave here with your head still full of kitty cats and puppy dogs."
  • (Bill Moseley) "Boy, I bet you'd stick your head in fire if I told ya you could see Hell. Meanwhile, you're too stupid to realize you got a demon stickin' out your ass singing, "Holy Miss Moley,"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Got me a live one.""
  • (Bill Moseley) "It's all true. The bogeyman is real and you found him."

Sheri Moon Zombie as Baby

  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "There once was a woman who lived with her daughter in a cabbage garden; along came a rabbit and ate up all the cabbages; the woman said, "Go into the garden and drive out the rabbit.""
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "You know we like to get f***ed up?"
  • (Gerry Ober) "Yeah, I like to get f***ed up too."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Yeah, I'll bet you do."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "We like to get f***ed up, and do f***ed up s***."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Whatever you need to do, you do it. There is no wrong. If someone needs to be killed, you kill 'em. That's the way."
  • (Gerry Ober) "Let me take a guess here, y'all are having a Halloween party tonight huh?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Now what makes you think that big boy?"
  • (Gerry Ober) "Well you sure are buying a whole mess of holy water for two people."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Yeah we like to get f***ed up and do f***ed up s***, you know what I mean?"
  • (Gerry Ober) "Yeah I like to get f***ed up to and do some f***ed up s***."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Yeah I bet you do."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Hey, Poopy-pants. What's new?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "These are all my dolls. I used to like to chop their heads off and their arms and stick 'em up on the wall."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Hey wanna play a guessing game? Guess what number i'm thinking of."
  • (Chris Hardwick) "Eat s*** and die."
  • (Chris Hardwick) "No wait please come on stop it. What do you want? What do you want from me? What do you want from us?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Please be quiet I don't wanna slip. Ok one more. You get this right, i'll let ya go. If you get it wrong you are f***ed. Ok, whose my favourite movie star?"
  • (Chris Hardwick) "I don't know -- M -- Marilyn Monroe."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Hmmm -- no Betty Davis. Sorry you lose."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "You gotta have the marshmallows, that's what makes it fun."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "The door's locked. I'll gotta go around -- wait here."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "'Shoo, shoo,' said the maiden."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "'Come, maiden,' said the rabbit, 'sit on my tail and go with me to my rabbit hutch.'"

Chris Hardwick as Jerry Goldsmith

  • (Chris Hardwick) "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey."

Dennis Fimple as Grandpa Hugo

  • (Dennis Fimple) "What are you, Jimmy Olsen, cub reporter for the Daily Asshole?"
  • (Dennis Fimple) "I hate f***ed up families."

Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding

  • (Sid Haig) "god****, motherf***er got blood all over my best clown suit."
  • (Sid Haig) "You miserable motherf***er, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your f***in' balls in."
  • (Killer Karl) "All right, Tippy. Hand over the cash box, and I might leave your brains inside your skull."
  • (Sid Haig) "Well, I'll tell you what, Ski King. Why don't you just take your Mama home some chicken and then I won't have to stuff my boot all up in your ass."
  • (Killer Karl) "I don't like chicken. And I hate clowns."
  • (Sid Haig) ""If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.""
  • (Sid Haig) "Howdy Folks. You like blood? Violence? Freaks of nature? Well then, come on down to Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Mad-Men. See the Alligator Boy, ride my famous Murder Ride. Most of all, don't forget to take home some of my tasty fried chicken. Ha ha. It just tastes so damn good."
  • (Sid Haig) "Mary f***in' Moses. Ya' all get the f*** outa here."
  • (Killer Karl) "Hands up. Keep your paws where I can see 'em."
  • (Richard Wick) "Yeah -- d-don't move or I'll b-blast a hole the size of a k-Kansas City watermelon through -- your ugly-ass b-bozo face."
  • (Sid Haig) "What the f*** is that supposed to mean?"
  • (Killer Karl) "That is it. I'm gonna count to ten and you're gonna hand over all the cash, or I'm gonna splatter your grease paint mug across the state line. One --"
  • (Sid Haig) "f*** yo mama."
  • (Killer Karl) "Two --"
  • (Sid Haig) "f*** yo sister."
  • (Killer Karl) "Three --"
  • (Sid Haig) "f*** yo grandma."
  • (Sid Haig) "Let me ask you something. How come you're asking me so many jackassy questions?"
  • (Rainn Wilson) "My friends and I are on a road trip. We're driving across country and writing a book on off-beat roadside attractions. You know, the crazy s*** you see when you're driving across the country."
  • (Sid Haig) "I don't drive cross country."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "But if you did --"
  • (Sid Haig) "But I don't."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "Yeah, but supposing for a second you did."
  • (Sid Haig) "You little dickens, you. I know what your problem is."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "What's that?"
  • (Sid Haig) "Ya'll think us folk from the country's real funny-like, dontcha?"
  • (Rainn Wilson) "Jerry --"
  • (Sid Haig) "Yeah, well saddle up the mule, Ma. Slide me some grits. I's got to get me some edu-cation, uh hu hu hu."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "Jerry --"
  • (Sid Haig) "You asshole."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "What else happened?"
  • (Sid Haig) "Nothin'. You ask me, those stupid ass kids probably got turned around ass backwards and got themselves lost."
  • (Tom Towles) "Is that all? Now, I want you to think really hard."
  • (Sid Haig) "Well, I don't ridley know. You see, they wasn't in here long enough for me to get up close and personal with 'em like I do with most of the other assholes that come wondering in here."
  • (Sid Haig) "But MOST of all -- f*** YOU."
  • (Sid Haig) "Sweet baby Jesus, girl. What the hell happened to you?"
  • (Erin Daniels) "I got away."
  • (Sid Haig) "You -- hey, I recognize you. Oh, there's a whole bunch of people been looking for your ass, girl."
  • (Erin Daniels) "I gotta get to a doctor."
  • (Sid Haig) "All right, all right. Just sit back and relax. I'll get you to a doctor."
  • (Sid Haig) "That's it. I'll get you there."
  • (Sid Haig) "Well, s*** the bed. Howdy folks, come on in. Well, I can see by those fancy britches and sassy hairdos that you all ain't from around here. So, where ya from?"
  • (Sid Haig) "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Ah, I see. All ya all's must be mutes, cause ya wouldn't be f***in' with me, now would ya?"
  • (Sid Haig) "Buddy, look around. Would I be surprised?"

Rainn Wilson as Bill Hudley

  • (Rainn Wilson) "Christ, you scared the s*** out of me."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Aw, you ain't seen nothing yet."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "Is your brother ready to go?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Oh -- yeah, he already left. We'll wait inside, come on."
  • (Rainn Wilson) "He left."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Yeah, come on."

Jennifer Jostyn as Mary Knowles

  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "Get off him."
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "I said get the f*** off him you stupid f***ing whore. f***ing slut."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "Oh, you shouldn't have done that."
  • (Jennifer Jostyn) "Oh, really? Are you gonna do something about it?"
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "I'll do something, motherf***er."
  • (Sheri Moon Zombie) "I'll f***ing cut your tits off and shove 'em down your throat."

Michael J. Pollard as Stucky

  • (Michael J. Pollard) "Hey, I know you. You work down at the hardware store. Richard Wick right? All the guys make fun out of you. They call you 'Little Dick Wick.' They even sing a song about you."
  • (Richard Wick) "Shut your trap."
  • (Michael J. Pollard) "'Little Dick Wick, played with his prick, don't his smell just make you sick?'"

Karen Black as Mother

  • (Karen Black) "Otis. There's cops outside."
  • (Dennis Fimple) "What? How many?"
  • (Bill Moseley) "Oh, don't worry about it. How many were there?"
  • (Karen Black) "I only saw one."
  • (Bill Moseley) "f***ing pigs always come in packs. Here take this go down stairs and play nice, I'll go around back and take control like I always f***in' do."
  • (Karen Black) "My baby boy gets shy around new people, but he'll warm up to you, especially the girls."
  • (Karen Black) "He's a real lady KILLER."

Tom Towles as Lt. George Wydell

  • (Tom Towles) "What did you see? Who was she with? Where was she going?"
  • (Sid Haig) "I don't know. Yeah, that girl was in here last night. She was with three other stupid kids. They was nosing around -- asking a bunch of stupid questions."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "Questions about what?"
  • (Sid Haig) "I don't know. This and that. Mostly a bunch of tired Dr. Satan bulls***."
  • (Sid Haig) "Look, they caught a gander at the display in the back and they figured they'd run out and solve the great big Deadwood mystery about Dr. Satan."
  • (Tom Towles) "And how'd they get that idea?"
  • (Sid Haig) "I wrote 'em a map -- out to the old farm road that runs past the Hanging Tree. I figured, what the hell? Can't do no harm. Besides, it's good for my tourist trade. Ha, ha."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "You can s*** ten bricks for all I care."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "Chief if you ask me I'd say these kids got a cold six and are out getting s***faced right now"
  • (Tom Towles) "Boy, I sure hope you're right. My guts are telling me different."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "You're spidey senses tinglin?"
  • (Tom Towles) "Mmm-hmm -- yeah."
  • (Tom Towles) "WHAT?"
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "You know Georgie -- Like in the marvel comics --"
  • (Tom Towles) "How old do you think I am boy? I know Spiderman. Just get to your point."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "You know like when he was fighting people like that damn -- what the hell was his name?"
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "aww s***. I cant remember."
  • (Tom Towles) "I myself always favored for the hulk."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "The hulk was dumb as s***."
  • (Tom Towles) "Ahh f***. Damn."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "What?"
  • (Tom Towles) "Nothing."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "You sure this fella's supossed to ride with us in this car?"
  • (Tom Towles) "Mmmm-hmm."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "This just don't seem right to me."
  • (Tom Towles) "Well listen, it ain't up to us. Chief said to pick him up and take him with us."
  • (Tom Towles) "The guy's an ex-cop and figures he can be a help some."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "I just hope he don't get in my way's all I'm sayin' all right?"
  • (Tom Towles) "Have you seen this girl in the past 24 hours?"
  • (Sid Haig) "Yeah, cute kid. Ain't my type though. You know, I like 'em with a little more meat on 'em. Ha ha. The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'."
  • (Deputy Steve Naish) "Come on clownie, just answer the damn questions. We ain't interested in your love life."
  • (Tom Towles) "Cut the crap Spaulding and get with the facts."

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