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Hercules Returns Quotes

Hercules Returns is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . Hercules Returns completed its run in 1970.

It features Philip Jaroslow as producer, Phil Judd in charge of musical score, and David Connell (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Hercules Returns is recorded in English and originally aired in Australia. Each episode of Hercules Returns is 82 minutes long.

The cast includes: Voice of Matthew King as Charlie, Voice of Sally Patience as Labia, Voice of Des Mangan as Hercules, David Argue as Barmaid, David Argue as Barman, and Bruce Spence as Sprocket.

Hercules Returns Quotes

Voice of Des Mangan as Hercules

  • (Voice of Des Mangan) "Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree --"
  • (Stretch) "Your actual purpose is not as you believe to marry Labia, but to reveal your true homosexuality."
  • (Voice of Des Mangan) "Homosexual?"

Voice of Sally Patience as Labia

  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger its than me. He looks like a condom full of walnuts."
  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Well I suppose I better introduce you to me mum."
  • (Unnamed) "Darling, you haven't been hanging around the gymnasium again have you?"
  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Mum, who do you think is the dumbest man in the world?"
  • (Unnamed) "Why Hercules of course."
  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Well say hello."
  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"
  • (Unnamed) "Well -- I didn't expect the earth to move -- but I at least expected you to."
  • (Voice of Sally Patience) "Your so romantic --"

Voice of Matthew King as Charlie

  • (Unnamed) "Is there something you want to tell me?"
  • (Voice of Matthew King) "What? About Fanny? We're just good friends --"
  • (Unnamed) "She's wearing your underpants."
  • (Voice of Matthew King) "Well, we're obviously very good friends ain't we --"
  • (Voice of Matthew King) "Oi, oi. I'm talking to you, you rude bugger."

Bruce Spence as Sprocket

  • (Bruce Spence) "You couldn't organize a fart at a curry-eating contest."

David Argue as Barmaid

  • (David Argue) "I know this might be an in opportune moment, but what about the bill?"
  • (Unnamed) "OOOOOOh, bill?"
  • (Unnamed) "You mean you want me to pay for all this?"
  • (David Argue) "Forget i said anything, forget it."
  • (Unnamed) "I thought you were doing this because you liked me."
  • (David Argue) "Ooh, your dandruffs getting worse, innit?"
  • (David Argue) "Fuck off."
  • (David Argue) "Fair enough."

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