Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Quotes

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Harold &amp stopped airing in 1970.

It features Nathan Kahane, and Greg Shapiro as producer, David Kitay in charge of musical score, and Bruce Douglas Johnson as head of cinematography.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is 88 minutes long. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle is distributed by New Line Cinema.

The cast includes: John Cho as Harold, Gary Anthony Williams as Tarik, Sandy Jobin Bevans as Officer Palumbo, Kal Penn as Kumar, Christopher Meloni as Freakshow, Jamie Kennedy as Creepy Guy, Fred Willard as Dr. Willoughby, Eddie Kaye Thomas as Rosenberg, David Krumholtz as Goldstein, Robert Tinkler as J.D., Siu Ta as Cindy Kim, Kal Penn as Dr. Patel, Ethan Embry as Billy Carver, Kate Kelton as Christy, Jamie Kennedy as Cole, and Brooke D'Orsay as Clarissa.

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Quotes

Jamie Kennedy as Cole

• (Jamie Kennedy) "Let's go get some f***in' Mountain Dew."

• (Extreme Sports Punk #1) "Dude, that was SO not extreme."
• (Jamie Kennedy) "I know, Extreme Sports Punk Number One --"

• (Jamie Kennedy) "EXTREME KAYAKING."

Brooke D'Orsay as Clarissa

• (Brooke D'Orsay) "Damn. You sank my battles***."

John Cho as Harold

• (John Cho) "I apologize for my friend here, we had a really tough night. I'm really glad you're here. You ever heard of the show, Doogie Houser, MD?"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Yeah, I know the show. God, I love that show. Doogie. Ha."
• (John Cho) "Neil Patrick Harris stole my car tonight."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Hey. NPH wouldn't do that, all right? Now let me see some I.D."

• (John Cho) "What the f*** is going on here? 2: -- Never mind me. What the f*** are you doing here?"
• (John Cho) "I thought you and J.D. were busy all night with clients. Isn't that why I had to do your work?"
• (Robert Tinkler) "Henry, what the hell's going on?"
• (John Cho) "Back off, cock boy.What I said to him goes double for you."
• (Robert Tinkler) "Did you just call me cock boy?"
• (John Cho) "Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling because you're not quick enough to think of a comeback."
• (Robert Tinkler) "You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well, I've got news for you. I am quick enough -- cock boy."
• (Ethan Embry) "Listen, Harold, I'm really sorry."
• (Robert Tinkler) "Don't bother with him. We'll take it up with Berenson tomorrow."
• (John Cho) "What are you gonna tell Berenson? That I'm your workhorse? That you guys think you can party all weekend,"
• (John Cho) "leave the work to the quiet Asian guy in the office?"
• (Ethan Embry) "No, you don't understand."
• (John Cho) "No, you don't understand."
• (John Cho) "I'm not doing your work for you anymore."
• (John Cho) "And if either one of you douche bags, ever tries to pull this s*** again, I'll go to Berenson myself."
• (John Cho) "I'll tell him what's really going on. And I'll tell the whole office. how you both caught gonorrhea from that prostitute in Atlantic City."
• (John Cho) "If you'll excuse me, boys, I gotta get going. Kumar."
• (John Cho) "See you boys at the office on Monday."
• (John Cho) "Excuse me."

• (John Cho) "So what are you in for?"
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "For being Black."
• (John Cho) "Seriously."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "I am being serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Nobles, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a Black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So, he starts beating with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest."
• (John Cho) "Holy s***. What did you do?"
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "I said, " I understand that I am under arrest. Now please stop beating me.""
• (John Cho) "I don't understand how you can be so calm about this."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "Look at me. I'm fat, Black, can't dance and have tow gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense in getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy."

• (John Cho) "Neil, you wouldn't happen to know how to get on the highway from here, would you?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Dude, I don't even know where the f*** I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and some guy hooked me up with this incredible "X"; next thing I know I'm being thrown out of a moving car. I've been trippin' balls ever since."
• (Kal Penn) "That's crazy, dude. We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some p*****."
• (John Cho) "Huh?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "It's a f***ing sausage fest in here, bros. Let's get some poontang, THEN we'll go to White Castle."
• (Kal Penn) "No, Neil, you don't understand. We've been craving these burgers all night."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Yeah, I've been craving burgers, too. Furburgers. Come on, dudes, let's pick up some trim at a strip club. The Doogie line always works on strippers."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Lapdance --"
• (Kal Penn) "There's a gas station. I'm gonaa see if I can get some directions."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "You don't need dir- gah. Hurry up, dudes, hurry up. I'm losing wood."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry --"
• (Kal Penn) "Look, chill."
• (John Cho) "We'll be right back, Neil."
• (John Cho) "Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?"

• (John Cho) "So what are you in here for?"
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "For being black."
• (John Cho) "Seriously."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "I am serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Now evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest."
• (John Cho) "Holy s***. What'd you do?"
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me.""
• (John Cho) "I'm sorry, I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy."

• (John Cho) "Did Doogie Howser just steal my f***ing car?"

• (John Cho) "How is that not the worse news?"
• (Kal Penn) "The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally."

• (John Cho) "This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried."

• (John Cho) "Harold: Thanks, for helping us out."
• (Christopher Meloni) "-- Oh no problem at all, I seen you two stranded out there. Alone. In the darkness."
• (Christopher Meloni) "I said to myself."
• (Christopher Meloni) "What would Jesus do?"
• (Christopher Meloni) "Goin' down to Georgia, gonna get myself baptised, gonna get myself baptised In the puddle of the looooooorrd."

• (John Cho) "Is there -- is there a problem, Officer -- Palumbo?"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Is there a problem? Have you heard of jaywalking?"
• (John Cho) "Yes, I have. I'm really sorry. It won't happen again."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "That's great. I'm writing you up a ticket."
• (Kal Penn) "A ticket? Are you serious?"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Who the f*** are you, s***wad?"

• (John Cho) "Sure got a lotta baggage."

• (John Cho) "What the hell are you doing? Gawd."
• (Kal Penn) "You been out cold for the past half an hour. I figured maybe if I did some gay s***, you'd wake up."
• (John Cho) "If you did some gay s***? What kinda; where are we? Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?"
• (Kal Penn) "It ran away. Listen, forget about the cheetah, okay?"

• (John Cho) "Dude, where's my car?"
• (Kal Penn) "Where's his car, dude?"

• (John Cho) "Dude, we're so high right now."
• (Kal Penn) "We're not low."

• (John Cho) "Back off cockboy, what I said him goes double for you."
• (Robert Tinkler) "Cockboy, you just call me cockboy?"
• (John Cho) "Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling cuz you're not quick enough to think of a comeback."
• (Robert Tinkler) "You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough --. Cockboy."

• (John Cho) "I want that."
• (Kal Penn) "What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?"
• (John Cho) "No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling."
• (Kal Penn) "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
• (John Cho) "We gotta go to White Castle."
• (Kal Penn) "YES. YES. I knew you had it in you dude."

• (John Cho) "I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes."
• (Kal Penn) "I want the same except make mine diet cokes."

• (John Cho) "-- The universe tends to unfold as it should."
• (Kal Penn) "What is that? Some fortune cookie?"

Kal Penn as Kumar

• (Kal Penn) "How were Katie Holmes' tits?"
• (David Krumholtz) "You know the Holocaust?"
• (Kal Penn) "Yeah?"
• (David Krumholtz) "Picture the opposite of that."
• (Kal Penn) "Nice."

• (Kal Penn) "I can't believe you were gonna ditch for the Joy Luck Club, dude. You know what their parties are like."
• (John Cho) "C'mon, what did you want me to say? I was under pressure."
• (Kal Penn) "Just say no. That's all it takes."
• (Kal Penn) "Here."
• (Kal Penn) "Take a hit of that."

• (Kal Penn) "Shotgun anus."

• (Hippie Student) "Here, that's sixt; 80 bucks."
• (Kal Penn) "80 bucks?"
• (Hippie Student) "Yeah, 80 bucks."
• (Kal Penn) "Yo, this is worth 40 tops bro."
• (Hippie Student) "Bro? I'm not your bro, bro. ok, and that's 80 bucks. You don't feel like getting high tonight? If you don't feel like getting high, that's cool with me because there's lots of people around here. See this guy? Hey, what's up, George? I smoke buds with George all the time."
• (Kal Penn) "What kind of a hippie are you?"
• (Hippie Student) "What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand."

• (Kal Penn) "Hey Roldy?"
• (John Cho) "What?"
• (Kal Penn) "There's something I forgot to tell you."
• (John Cho) "What?"
• (Kal Penn) "I never hang-glided before."
• (John Cho) "WHAT?"

• (Kal Penn) "Kumar: My names Kumar."
• (Christopher Meloni) "Freakshow:"
• (Christopher Meloni) "How are you, Kenny?"
• (Kal Penn) "Kumar:"
• (Kal Penn) "Um -- And this is Harold."
• (Christopher Meloni) "Freakshow: Hi, Gerald how are you?"

• (Kal Penn) "I forgot my cell phone."
• (John Cho) "You wanna run back and get it?"
• (Kal Penn) "No, we've gone too far."

• (Kal Penn) "So, I gotta ask you Neil, did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show."
• (Kal Penn) "Even the chick who played the hot nurse?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "No -- I didn't go all the way with her."

• (Kal Penn) "Thank you, come again."

• (Kal Penn) "Roldy. Roldy. dude, you gotta come quick. There is these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us."
• (Kal Penn) "I mean -- duh -- that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I."

• (Kal Penn) "We should give this man some marijuana. Nurse. Get all the medical marijuana you can. Like a big bag of it?"
• (Male Nurse) "Marijuana? -- But why?"

• (Kal Penn) "Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. Prick."
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Here's 50 for the meal, and 200 for the car."
• (John Cho) "What happened to my car?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "I made some love stains in the back. You'll see --"

• (John Cho) "Ah. AH. What the hell are you doing?"
• (Kal Penn) "You've been out cold for the past half hour, I figured if I did some gay s*** you'd wake up."

• (Kal Penn) "So where you going to go now, Neil?"
• (Neil Patrick Harris) "Wherever God takes me."

• (Kal Penn) "Hey, what's that smell?"
• (John Cho) "What smell? Kumar --"
• (John Cho) "Hey Kumar. Kumar. Where are you --"
• (John Cho) "Kumar. Still in jail, asshole. Come here."

• (Kal Penn) "Dude, am I going deaf or did he just say we could f*** his wife?"

• (Kal Penn) "Excuse me officer. Let me take a couple of guesses. You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right?"
• (Officer Martone) "Absolutely right."
• (Kal Penn) "Used to pick on guys like us every day, right?"
• (Officer Martone) "With pleasure."
• (Kal Penn) "Then graduation day came, and we went to college, and you went nowhere, and you thought, "Hey, how can I still give them s***? I know, I'll become a cop.""

• (Burger Shack Employee) "Ding-dong. May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one -- just makes me want to burn this motherf***er down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this motherf***er down. Come on, Pookie. Let's burn it, Pookie. Let's burn this motherf***er down. Let's burn it down. Let's burn it. So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle."
• (Kal Penn) "You can always get your work done in the car."
• (John Cho) "Let's do it."
• (Kal Penn) "All right. Awesome. Then listen, listen; no matter what, we are not ending this night without White Castle in our stomachs. Agreed?"
• (John Cho) "Agreed."
• (Burger Shack Employee) "Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen."
• (John Cho) "Semen."
• (Burger Shack Employee) "Animal semen."

• (Kal Penn) "I hope you are here to apologize for what you did at your interview this afternoon."
• (Saikat Patel) "What the hell's wrong with you, Kumar? God. You're, like, 22 years old. I mean, when are you going to stop this post-college rebel baloney? Like your life's so hard."
• (Kal Penn) "Eat my balls, Saikat."
• (Kal Penn) "I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off."
• (Kal Penn) "Dad, come on."
• (Kal Penn) "Daddy is not coming on anything. You will be there, and you will behave. I have put too much time and energy into you to let you go and f*** it all up."

• (Kal Penn) "$220? Are you crazy? Excuse me, Officer sir. Let me just take a few guesses here."
• (John Cho) "I'm really sorry for this --"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "No sudden movements. Back it up."
• (Kal Penn) "You were probably the big asshole in high school, right?"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Absolutely right."
• (Kal Penn) "And you used to pick on guys like us everyday for fun?"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "With pleasure."
• (Kal Penn) "But then graduation day came. We went to college, while you went nowhere. And then you began to think to yourself, "Gee. How can I still give them grief? Oh, I know, I'll just become a cop." Yeah? Well, congratulations. Your dream has come true. Now, why don't you just take this quiet little Asian guy with the American name that treats you so well and give him some more tickets or better just take him to jail."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Even better."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "You're going downtown thanks to your friend here."
• (Kal Penn) "Oh, great American name, Harold."
• (John Cho) "Yaaah."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Huh."
• (John Cho) "Oh, shoot."

• (Kal Penn) "Let's find us some tunes baby,"
• (Kal Penn) "Cole's extreme mix volume 5, what is this s***?"
• (Kal Penn) "These guys are f***ing posers."

• (Kal Penn) "Now we're in Newark, of all places. You know we're gonna get shot."
• (John Cho) "Maybe it's not as bad as they say. Maybe it's just a bunch of hype."
• (Kal Penn) "Check it out. Those guys look like a lame version of us."
• (Kal Penn) "Holy s***."
• (John Cho) "Let's get the f*** outta here. Go. Go. Drive. Drive."
• (Kal Penn) "Yeah, that was your fault."
• (John Cho) "f*** you."
• (Kal Penn) "f*** you."

• (Kal Penn) "Rold? Is that you?"
• (John Cho) "Kumar?"
• (Kal Penn) "Hey, are the cops still here?"
• (John Cho) "What the hell are you doing?"
• (Kal Penn) "I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park."
• (John Cho) "Jesus Christ. What'd you do that for?"
• (Kal Penn) "I'm f***ing starving. I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers."

• (Kal Penn) "Hey, why don't you leave that guy alone and go jerk off to some snowboarding videos or something?"

Christopher Meloni as Freakshow

• (Christopher Meloni) "It's gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, f*** my wife, watch TV; anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do."

• (Christopher Meloni) "Hey Randy. What? The devil. Whuh? The devil is everywhere --"

• (Christopher Meloni) "Hey Randy. What? The devil. Oh. The devil is everywhere -- Hey Randy. What? Liqour. Ooh. The devil is everywhere -- Hey Randy. What? Tobacco. Ooh. The devil is everywhere -- Hey Randy. What? Crystal meth --. oh -- uhh -- The devil -- is -- everywhere -- Let's take a breather and pray --"

• (Christopher Meloni) "Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, f*** my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything the good lord would'nt do."
• (Kal Penn) "Dude am I going deaf or did he just say we could f*** his wife?"

• (Christopher Meloni) "Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, f*** my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything Jesus wouldn't."
• (Kal Penn) "Did he just say we could f*** his wife?"

• (Christopher Meloni) "Who wants first reach-around?"

Eddie Kaye Thomas as Rosenberg

• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "Boobies, boobies, boobies."

• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "I think Kumar's a "faygele"."
• (David Krumholtz) "Oh, they're totally gay for each other."
• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "Hey, you wanna suck on this?"
• (David Krumholtz) "Uh-huh. Mmm."

Robert Tinkler as J.D.

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Sandy Jobin Bevans as Officer Palumbo

• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?"
• (Kal Penn) "No, it's actually one "u""
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Yeah, bulls***."

Fred Willard as Dr. Willoughby

• (Fred Willard) "Do you actually believe that after the way you've just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?"
• (Kal Penn) "No. I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school."
• (Fred Willard) "But you have perfect MCAT scores."
• (Kal Penn) "Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn."

David Krumholtz as Goldstein

• (David Krumholtz) "Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching The Gift. Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie."
• (John Cho) "Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?"
• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl -- and I'm gonna see her boobs."
• (David Krumholtz) "Oh man, the things I would eat out of her ass -- you have no idea."
• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "Ugh. That is a completely disgusting and vulgar statement."
• (David Krumholtz) "So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true."
• (Eddie Kaye Thomas) "Touché."

• (David Krumholtz) "This movie makes no sense. She's possessed, she's not possessed -- that rack had better be stacked. OH. TITS. Those aren't real. Yes, they are."

Gary Anthony Williams as Tarik

• (Officer Martone) "Hey, Jackson's trying to escape."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here."
• (Officer Reilly) "He's trying to break free. Get him."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "Aw, s***."
• (Officer Martone) "Don't move. Stop resisting. We need back up now. He's got a gun."
• (Gary Anthony Williams) "That's not a gun, that's a book."
• (Officer Reilly) "Secure the book."
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "Book is secure. You bring this filth"
• (Sandy Jobin Bevans) "in here? What is this s***?"

Siu Ta as Cindy Kim

• (Siu Ta) "Have you seen a Korean guy around here?"
• (Hippie Student) "Yeah, only when I open my eyes though."

Kate Kelton as Christy

• (Kate Kelton) "Skag. You sank my destroyer."

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