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Guess Who (film) Quotes

Guess Who (film) is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Guess Who ended its run in 1970.

It features Jenno Topping as producer, John Murphy (composer) in charge of musical score, and Karl Walter Lindenlaub as head of cinematography.

Guess Who (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Guess Who (film) is 105 minutes long. Guess Who (film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Bernie Mac as Percy, Ashton Kutcher as Simon Green, Zoe Saldana as Theresa, Judith Scott as Marilyn, Hal Williams as Howard Jones, Kellee Stewart as Keisha Jones, Kimberly Scott as Kimbra, Niecy Nash as Naomi, and Jessica Cauffiel as Polly.

Guess Who (film) Quotes

Ashton Kutcher as Simon Green

  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Why can't black people listen to country music?"
  • (Kellee Stewart) "Why?"
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Because every time they say "hoe-down" they think their sister got shot."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Babe, you're acting like I have cheated on you, and I have never cheated on you. Except for that one time, with myself, and you caught me."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "That's just it, she's everything I'm not. You know, she's my other half. Without her I'm not whole. You know the thing about meeting your other half is you're walking around, you think you're happy, you think you're whole, then you realize you ain't s*** without her. Then you can't go back to being just a half 'cause you know what it's like to be whole."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job."
  • (Hal Williams) "I tell ya I'm gonna kick that boy's ass."

Hal Williams as Howard Jones

  • (Hal Williams) "You didn't tell me he was white."
  • (Bernie Mac) "Yes, I did, back at the retirement home."
  • (Hal Williams) "I thought you was kidding."

Zoe Saldana as Theresa

  • (Zoe Saldana) "Are you getting cold feet, Simon?"
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "No. No, I'm not getting cold feet. I can't wait to marry you -- and make babies with you. Give me a daughter who looks just like you."
  • (Zoe Saldana) "oh, wow."

Jessica Cauffiel as Polly

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Bernie Mac as Percy

  • (Bernie Mac) "Hi. Reservation for Percy Jones."
  • (Jessica Cauffiel) "And that's Jones with a "J"?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "No, Jones with a "P". I made the reservation last week."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "You knew you were gonna kick me out a week ago?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "Son, I knew I was gonna kick you out 24 years ago -- when the doctor announced it was a girl."
  • (Jessica Cauffiel) "Here you are."
  • (Bernie Mac) "Good."
  • (Jessica Cauffiel) "We gave your room away."
  • (Bernie Mac) "What?"
  • (Jessica Cauffiel) "Check in was at 4:00."
  • (Bernie Mac) "It's Thursday night. I'm quite sure you've got another room available."
  • (Jessica Cauffiel) "I'm sorry. We're completely booked, and so is everyone else. There's a Shriners convention in town, actually. May help you with anything else Mr. Pjones?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "I don't want to hear about you sleeping with my daughter; you're sleeping with me now."
  • (Bernie Mac) "If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "She's right?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "That's right."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Always?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "Right."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Right."
  • (Bernie Mac) "That's right."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?"
  • (Bernie Mac) "Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right."

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