General Hospital (Blackadder) Quotes

General Hospital (Blackadder) is a TV show that debuted in 1970 . General Hospital ended its run in 1970.

General Hospital (Blackadder) Quotes

• (Lieutenant George) "Smithy, you haven't seen any suspicious characters hanging around have you, who might be German spies?"
• (Brigadier Smith) "Nein."
• (Lieutenant George) "Nine. Well, the cap's got his work cut out, then."

• (Captain Blackadder) "So in the name of security, sir, everyone who enters the room has to have his bottom fondled by this drooling pervert?"
• (Captain Darling) "I'm only doing my job, Blackadder."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Well, how lucky you are then that your job is also your hobby."

• (General Melchett) "You look surprised, Blackadder."
• (Captain Blackadder) "I certainly am, sir. I didn't realise we had any battle plans."
• (General Melchett) "Well, of course we have. How else do you think the battles are directed?"
• (Captain Blackadder) "Our battles are directed, sir?"
• (General Melchett) "Well, of course they are, Blackadder, directed according to the Grand Plan."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Would that be the plan to continue with total slaughter until everyone's dead except Field Marshal Haig, Lady Haig and their tortoise, Alan?"
• (General Melchett) "Great Scott. Even you know it."

• (Captain Darling) "So you see, Blackadder, Field Marshall Haig is most anxious to eliminate all these German spies."
• (General Melchett) "Filthy hun weasels, fighting their dirty underhand war."
• (Captain Darling) "And fortunately, one of our spies --"
• (General Melchett) "Splendid fellows, brave heroes risking life and limb for Blighty."

• (Nurse Mary) "When this war is over, do you think we might get to know each other a little better?"
• (Captain Blackadder) "Yes, why not? When this madness has finished, perhaps we could go cycling together. Take a trip down to the old Swan at Henley and go for a walk in the woods."
• (Nurse Mary) "Yes. Or we could just do it right now on the desk."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Yeah, OK."

• (Lieutenant George) "Ah Cap, I hear you've been seeing a lot of Nurse Mary."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Yes, almost all of her in fact."
• (Lieutenant George) "How is she Sir?"
• (Captain Blackadder) "Unbelievable."

• (Captain Darling) "You'll regret this Blackadder. You'd better find the real spy or I'll make it very hard for you."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Please, Darling. There are ladies present."

• (Nurse Mary) "Cigarette?"
• (Captain Blackadder) "No thank you, I only smoke cigarettes after making love. So back in England I'm a twenty-a-day man."

• (General Melchett) "Something's the matter. Something sinister and something grotesque. And what's worse is that it's going on right here under my very nose."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Sir, your moustache is lovely --"

• (Captain Darling) "I'm as British as Queen Victoria."
• (Captain Blackadder) "So your father's German, you're half German, and you married a German."

• (Captain Blackadder) "I spy with my bored little eye something beginning with "T"."
• (Private Baldrick) "Breakfast."
• (Captain Blackadder) "What?"
• (Private Baldrick) "My breakfast always begins with tea. Then I have a little sausage, then a egg with some little soldiers."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Baldrick, when I said it begins with "T", I was talking about a letter."
• (Private Baldrick) "Nah; it never begins with a letter. The postman don't come till 10.30."
• (Captain Blackadder) "I can't go on with this. George, take over."
• (Lieutenant George) "All right, sir. Umm -- I spy with my little eye something beginning with "R""
• (Private Baldrick) "Army."
• (Captain Blackadder) "For God's sake, Baldrick. Army starts with an "A". He's looking for something that starts with an "R". Rrrrrrr."
• (Private Baldrick) "Motorbike"
• (Captain Blackadder) "What?"
• (Private Baldrick) "Well, a motorbike starts with an rrrrm rrrrm rrrrm."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Right, right, right. My turn again. What begins with "Come here" and ends in "Ow"?"
• (Private Baldrick) "I don't know."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Come here."
• (Private Baldrick) "Ow."

• (Nurse Mary) "And no casual girlfriends?"
• (Captain Blackadder) "Skirt? Ha. If only. When I joined up we were still fighting colonial wars. If you saw someone in a skirt you shot him and nicked his country."

• (Captain Blackadder) "What about you? Have you got a man? Some fine fellow in an English country village? A vicar maybe? Quiet, gentle, hung like a baboon?"

• (Captain Blackadder) "Can anyone tell me what's going on?"
• (Captain Darling) "Security, Blackadder."
• (Captain Blackadder) "Security?"
• (General Melchett) "Security isn't a dirty word, Blackadder. Crevice is a dirty word, but security isn't."

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