Friends (season 6) Quotes

Friends is a TV program that debuted in 1999 on NBC. Friends completed its run in 2000.

Friends was on for 25 episodes.

The cast includes: Matthew Perry as Chandler, Matt LeBlanc as Joey, Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani, Courteney Cox as Monica, David Schwimmer as Ross, Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe, Reese Witherspoon as Ben, Maggie Wheeler as Janice, James Michael Tyler as Gunther, Courteney Cox as Mona, Tom Selleck as Richard, Elliott Gould as Jack Geller, Christina Pickles as Judy Geller, Jessica Hecht as Susan, Reese Witherspoon as Jill Green, Tom Selleck as Erica, Elle Macpherson as Janine, Matt LeBlanc as Gloria Tribbiani, Jane Sibbett as Carol, and Tom Selleck as Mark.

Friends Quotes

Matt LeBlanc as Joey

(Matt LeBlanc) "This, more than anything, is a staging area."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?"
(David Schwimmer) "Yeah, sure."
(Matt LeBlanc) "By someone besides Monica?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "I am telling this to Rachel."
(Courteney Cox) "No, Joey."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Unless --"
(Matthew Perry) "Unless what?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Unless you name your first born after me."
(Matthew Perry) "What? Why?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Because, I may never have kids. Somebody's gonna have to carry on my family name."
(Matthew Perry) "Your family name is Tribianni."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh ho ho. You almost had me there."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Up is not an option."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I hate his underwear. one time I brought a pair marked XS and let me tell you there's no room for anything excess in there."

(Matt LeBlanc) "The guy is like a cartoon."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Alright. Westminster Abbey. Hands down. Best Abbey I ever seen."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey. Ok. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?"
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah, I think it's great. It's great. You know, they're thinking of changing the name of this place."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Really? To what?"
(Matthew Perry) "To put the camera away."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Man, you are Westminster Crabby."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I just don't think that I want it that way though, you know? I mean, let's say I do make it, all right? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of -- y'know, the Little General."
(Matthew Perry) "Didn't you use to call it the Little Major?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You're a pain in my ass, Geller."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I want to be Mr. Hugglemunch."

(Matt LeBlanc) "OK, I have no feelings for Rachel. No feelings at all. She's just a friend. I mean, I might have had some feelings for her, but now they're all gone. All of them. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever had feelings for Rachel."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Hey, sweetie."
(Matt LeBlanc) "I love you."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Come on, give me another chance. I can do a southern accent."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Ya, mon."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hot Girl? Hot Girl."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I'm hungry."
(Lisa Kudrow) "We could eat the wax. It's organic."
(Matthew Perry) "Oh great, food with hair on it."
(Lisa Kudrow) "No, not the used wax."
(Matthew Perry) "Because THAT would be crazy."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind."
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you?"
(Matthew Perry) "It's an electric drill. You get me, you kill me."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Rach, you gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point."
(Jennifer Aniston) "A moo point?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Get out of the way jackass."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "That is the Coast Guard."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Want some jam?"
(Matthew Perry) "No thanks, I just had a jar of mustard."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Joey Tribianni"
(Matt LeBlanc) "25"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah I'm single"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Actor -- hello?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a Cowboy spraying Cologne."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I thought I'd spend more time with my thoughts, but it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Pheebs, you wanna help?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you. Less than a hundred steps from our place to here."
(Matthew Perry) "You've got waaaay too much free time."

(Matt LeBlanc) "It's just my character that's not brain-dead."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Not knowing when to shut up."
(David Schwimmer) "Yep, that's my thing --"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, do you need any help?"
(David Schwimmer) "Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my mis-shapened claw?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "You two were having sex."
(Courteney Cox) "No, we weren't."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah, you were. I can see it by the back of Chandler's hair."
(Matt LeBlanc) "You are so lazy, can't you get on top for once?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Ross, if Homo Sapiens were HOMO Sapiens, is that why they're extinct?"
(David Schwimmer) "Joey, "Homo Sapiens" are People."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, I'm not Judging."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Come on, man. Tom Hanks. Meg Ryan. They get mail."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Chandler, I understand you. I mean, this one time, I went out with this girl, she had the biggest Adam's apple."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Ha, Ha, he said 'erectus'."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Erectus?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "No, 'homo'."

(Matt LeBlanc) "She's so great. She kisses like my mom cooks."
(Courteney Cox) "I am so glad you said "cooks"."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Do you want to hear something weird?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Always."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I don't get it. Why can't we use the same toothbrush? We use the same soap."
(Matthew Perry) "That's different. The toothbrush has been in my mouth."
(Matt LeBlanc) "OK. But next time you're in the shower, think of the first place you're washing, and the last place I washed."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Age?"
(Unnamed) "Can't you work that out by my date of birth?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "I'm a doctor, not a mathematician."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it'"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13."
(Matt LeBlanc) "And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You bet on the bet and if you lose you lose the bet."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You know what the best thing about marriage is? Waking up next to the same face every morning, until the sweet release of death."
(Matthew Perry) "This is the worst Batchelor Party ever."

(Matt LeBlanc) "So, what, you just want to stay here and wait for Rachel to come back from her date?"
(David Schwimmer) "Yeah. I mean, this guy could be my baby's stepfather."
(Matt LeBlanc) "They go out on one date and you worry about her marrying him? He's not you."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You know, with that goatee, you kinda look like Satan."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Dude, stop talkin' crazy and make us some tea."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Well, this is like summer in a bowl."

(Matt LeBlanc) "There's always room for jello."
(Courteney Cox) "How do you make that dirty?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "I can do it with anything, look. Grandma's Chicken Salad."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Get your sorry, non-believer ass out of my chair."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Paper, snow, a Ghost."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Anyway, I started working on what I'm gonna say at the ceremony, you wanna hear it?"
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Now, listen, it's just the first draft so -- "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share. It is a love based on giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have and receive.""
(Matthew Perry) "Shouldn't we call the spitter?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Aw, c'mon, this guy's perfect for you."
(Courteney Cox) "No, not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet."

(Matt LeBlanc) "I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years."
(Matthew Perry) "That was five years ago."
(Matt LeBlanc) "I know. You got five more years."
(Matthew Perry) "Joey --"
(Matt LeBlanc) "You want to make it six?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Opposite is opposite."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Forget about Rachel. Go to China, eat Chinese food."
(Matthew Perry) "Of course there they'd just call it food."

(Unnamed) "Talk New York to me."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Forget about it."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You don't put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths."

(Matt LeBlanc) "How you doin'?"

(Matt LeBlanc) "And you call yourself an accountant?"
(Matthew Perry) "-- No."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it?"
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah."
(Matt LeBlanc) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share."
(Matt LeBlanc) "It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have -- and receive."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written -- are you ready?"
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah, yeah. Okay."
(Matt LeBlanc) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving -- and then I can't think of a good word for right here."
(Courteney Cox) "How bout receiving?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yes."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey Gunther, have you seen Chandler?"
(James Michael Tyler) "I thought you were Chandler."
(James Michael Tyler) "Um, one of you is over there."

(Kate Miller) "I have a question about this scene."
(The Director) "Yes?"
(Kate Miller) "Well, I don't understand why Adrienne's attracted to Victor."
(The Director) "Peel the onion. First of all, he's good-looking."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah."
(Kate Miller) "I think my character's gonna need a little bit more of a reason than that."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh, hey, how about this one? It says so in the script. Y'know, I don't know why my character likes you either, I mean, it says in the script here that you're a bitch."
(Kate Miller) "It does not say that in the script."
(Matt LeBlanc) "It does in mine."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Joey doesn't share food."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey Mon, I got a question for you."
(Courteney Cox) "Okay, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no I don't look."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman. And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition."

(Matt LeBlanc) "What are you worried about? The Vicar will be here any minute."

(Matt LeBlanc) "And look. A phone in the bathroom."
(Courteney Cox) "Joey, don't ever call me from that phone."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You're mean in England."

(Matt LeBlanc) "You can't have s-e-x in front of a b-a-b-i-e"

(Matt LeBlanc) "Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Is Phoebe here with the cab yet?"
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah, she brought the invisible cab. Jump in."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Chandler is a mysterious fellow, one unlikely to take a wife."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Ooh-ooh-ooh. Are we opening presents?"
(Courteney Cox) "No. No. I shouldn't have even opened these. I mean I; Joey, I am out of control. Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present. Okay?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Okay."
(Courteney Cox) "Give me one more."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Okay."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Heh. Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him. He got you to say he never has to call you again. And he got you thinking this is a great idea?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Uh-huh."
(Matt LeBlanc) "This man is my God."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey Ross. If homo sapiens were in fact "homo sapiens", could that be why they're extinct?"
(David Schwimmer) "Joey, homo sapiens are people."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey. I'm not judging here."

(Matt LeBlanc) "Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she's like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread."
(Matthew Perry) "Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth."
(Matt LeBlanc) "God, I just, I hate her. I hate her. With her, "Oh, I'm so talented." and "Oh, I'm so pretty," and "Ooh, I smell so good.""
(Matthew Perry) "I think somebody has a crush on somebody."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, Chandler, can we please stay focused on my problem here? Y'know?"
(Matthew Perry) "I'm talking about you. You big, big freak."

Elliott Gould as Jack Geller

(Elliott Gould) "I remember when we first got engaged."
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story."
(Courteney Cox) "Oh dad, really you don't need to --"
(Elliott Gould) "Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know that happened."
(Christina Pickles) "You don't know how that happened? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy."

(Elliott Gould) "Of course you could kick Chandler's ass, son."
(Christina Pickles) "You could kick any ass you wanted to."

(Elliott Gould) "Now, are you his Mother or his Father? What? I've never seen one before. I never even got a chance to pretend I'm okay with it --"

(Elliott Gould) "Come on, tell us."
(Unnamed) "Yeah. Is she really 20?"
(Tom Selleck) "I'm not telling you guys anything."
(Elliott Gould) "Come on, Rich. It's my birthday, let me live vicariously."
(David Schwimmer) "Dad, you really don't want to do that."
(Elliott Gould) "Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?"
(Tom Selleck) "Jack, would you let it go?"
(Elliott Gould) "Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got my Porsche. You -- you got your own speedster."
(Tom Selleck) "Guys, seriously, it's not like that."
(Elliott Gould) "Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could --"
(David Schwimmer) "Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence."

David Schwimmer as Ross

(David Schwimmer) "I think it'll be a boy."
(Lisa Kudrow) "I think it'll be a girl."
(David Schwimmer) "Phoebe, you thought Ben would be a girl."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Have you seen him throw a ball?"

(David Schwimmer) "Hey, remember when I had a monkey? Yeah, what was I thinking?"

(David Schwimmer) "My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us."
(Courteney Cox) "Wow. That's great. Dad must really like you, he doesn't ask just anyone to play."
(David Schwimmer) "Yeah and he didn't really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you."
(Matthew Perry) "Well, did-did you correct him?"
(David Schwimmer) "No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way."

(David Schwimmer) "Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?"
(Tom Selleck) "No."
(David Schwimmer) "Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?"
(Tom Selleck) "I have a little comb."
(David Schwimmer) "Oh. And what do you call that?"
(Tom Selleck) "A moustache comb."

(David Schwimmer) "C'mon man, just take 'em off, just take 'em off and we'll have some fun."

(David Schwimmer) "Rachel won't talk to me. She won't even let me in the apartment."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Hmmm, I wonder why, pervert?"
(David Schwimmer) "I'm not a pervert."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Please, that's the pervert motto. They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand in your pants and say that."

(David Schwimmer) "You got me a cola drink."
(Matthew Perry) "And a LEMON LIME."
(David Schwimmer) "You shouldn't have. I feel like I should get you another sweater."
(Matt LeBlanc) "And last but not least."
(Matt LeBlanc) "They're RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE."

(David Schwimmer) "Okay, there you go."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Sure. Sure, I'll just sit next to the -- transsexual from purchasing."

(David Schwimmer) "I made Marcel's favorite: Banana cake --"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Mmm."
(David Schwimmer) "-- with mealworm."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Ugh."

(David Schwimmer) "The door's closed. I can't see anything with the door closed."
(Matthew Perry) "And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave."

(David Schwimmer) "There's going to be Hoopla?"

(David Schwimmer) "What are you doing?"
(Matthew Perry) "Making chocolate milk. You want some?"
(David Schwimmer) "No thanks, I'm 29."

(David Schwimmer) "I would date her but there is a big age difference."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Well think about it when you're 90 --"
(David Schwimmer) "I know, she'll be 80 and it won't be such a big difference."
(Matt LeBlanc) "No. What I was gonna say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old."

(David Schwimmer) "Hi --"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Pfft -- This guy says, "Hello, " I wanna kill myself."

(David Schwimmer) "That sandwich was the one good thing in my life. Someone ate the one good thing in my life."

(David Schwimmer) "What the hell are you doing, you scared the crap out of me."

(David Schwimmer) "I grew up in a house with Monica, okay. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat."

(David Schwimmer) "All right, I'll tell you why you're a bad driver. You're fast and irresponsible."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Well, excuse me but in high school that made me head cheerleader."

(David Schwimmer) "Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don't even feel them."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Okay, no uterus, no opinion."

(David Schwimmer) "We were on a break."
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, my God. If you say that one more time, I'm going to break up with you."

(David Schwimmer) "I went through the same thing with Carol and you know what I did? I got dressed really quickly."

(David Schwimmer) "Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won."
(Matthew Perry) "Ross came fourth and cried."

(David Schwimmer) "I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid."
(Matthew Perry) "That's nice."
(David Schwimmer) "No, no, with him. I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby. I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defense is comin' right at me."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Tampa Bay's got a terrible team."
(David Schwimmer) "Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, I just heave it downfield."
(Matthew Perry) "What are you crazy? That's a baby."
(Matt LeBlanc) "He should take the sack?"
(David Schwimmer) "Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield, and I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See, I am so not ready to be a father."
(Matthew Perry) "Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking."

(David Schwimmer) "Gunther, six glasses."
(James Michael Tyler) "Six? You want me to join you?"
(David Schwimmer) "Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five will be fine."
(David Schwimmer) "Boy I'm gonna get spit in my coffee, now."

(David Schwimmer) "I'm FINE."

(David Schwimmer) "Ugly Baby Judges you."

(David Schwimmer) "So, uh, what did the insurance company say?"
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, they said uh, "You don't have insurance here so stop calling us.""

(David Schwimmer) "I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "He's talking to the baby."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick.""

(David Schwimmer) "Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart? Pheebs?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?"
(David Schwimmer) "Hey, I might."

(David Schwimmer) "Mississippilessly?"

(David Schwimmer) "Stupid British snack food."
(Matthew Perry) "Did they teach you that in your anger management class?"

(David Schwimmer) "Heating device."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Radiator."
(David Schwimmer) "Five letters."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Rdatr."

(David Schwimmer) "Oh my God. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "I got off the plane."

(David Schwimmer) "Cat."

(David Schwimmer) "First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault."

(David Schwimmer) "NO FALAFEL FOR YOU."

(David Schwimmer) "Did you see the kid on that nose?"

(David Schwimmer) "Curie."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Veto. Rain."
(David Schwimmer) "Veto. Mark."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Veto. Vince."
(David Schwimmer) "Veto. Lance."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Veto. James."
(David Schwimmer) "Hmmm --"
(Jennifer Aniston) "If it's a girl."
(David Schwimmer) "Veto."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Is it just me, or is Vito beginning to sound real good?"

(David Schwimmer) "Hey who is this Casey? Why's he calling Rachel?"
(Matthew Perry) "Well I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance -- You know make a little love -- Well pretty much get down tonight --"

(David Schwimmer) "You guys won't believe what I have to do for work today."
(Matthew Perry) "Yes, but Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs."

(David Schwimmer) "Because women never like Joey. You know, I hear he's a virgin?"

(David Schwimmer) "Why, it's like I've been given the gift of time."
(Matthew Perry) "That's great. Last year I got the gift of space. We should get together and make a continuum."

(David Schwimmer) "So I don't know if he's testing me or just acting out but my monkey is OUT OF CONTROL --. He keeps erasing the messages on my machine."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh yeah -- I've done that"
(David Schwimmer) "And a few days ago he got to the newspaper before I did and peed all over the crossword."
(Jennifer Aniston) "I've never done that"
(David Schwimmer) "And last night I don't know what he did but there were capers EVERYWHERE."

(David Schwimmer) "All of which proves that I thought of Jurassic Park first."

(David Schwimmer) "We were on a break."

(David Schwimmer) "I guess I should have known -- we'd be out somewhere, and a beautiful woman would go by, and Carol would go, "Ross, look at her." And I'd think, "My wife is cool.""

(David Schwimmer) "I love marriage."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Seriously? You? -- Divorce-O?"

(David Schwimmer) "You're crazy."
(Benjamin Hobart) "Crazy? Or -- Romantic?"
(David Schwimmer) "Crazy."
(Benjamin Hobart) "Ooor --"
(David Schwimmer) "Get out."

(Mike Hanigan) "You're not gonna try and make me join a cult are you?"
(David Schwimmer) "No --"
(Mike Hanigan) "Oh okay. You just have that look."
(David Schwimmer) "Damn SuperCuts."

(David Schwimmer) "Can I borrow your blue tie? Emma spit on mine."
(Matthew Perry) "Okay, but you'll have to give it back when I get a job. Of course, by then, ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits."

(David Schwimmer) "This is just classic Rachel. You're off in Rachel land with no thought for people's feelings or monkeys."

(David Schwimmer) "If you're going to call me names, I would prefer Ross, the Divorce Force. It's just cooler."

(David Schwimmer) "I figured after work, I'd pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to -- woo her."
(Matthew Perry) "Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1800's when that phrase was last used."

(David Schwimmer) "What are you doing tonight?"
(Matthew Perry) "Why, do you have a lecture?"
(David Schwimmer) "No."
(Matthew Perry) "Free as a bird, what's up?"

(David Schwimmer) "Wow. This is the first time I've walked down the aisle without the possibility of it ending in divorce."

(David Schwimmer) "So, uh, how long are you going to punish him?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Five years."
(David Schwimmer) "You've sentenced him?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time."

(David Schwimmer) "This is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year."
(Matthew Perry) "What, you never look down in the shower?"
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?"

Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe

(Lisa Kudrow) "Stop, you guys. Look what you're doing to Chandler."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Okay, now we need the sage branches and the sacramental wine."
(Courteney Cox) "All I have is oregano and a Fresca."
(Lisa Kudrow) "That's okay."
(Lisa Kudrow) "All right, now we need the semen of a righteous man."
(Jennifer Aniston) "OK, Pheebs, you know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."

(Lisa Kudrow) "At first they're so cute and soft to the touch/ Then they grow up and resent you so much/ Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why/ and you cry and you cry and you cry/ and you cry and you cry and you cry and you cry -- Thanks Ross."
(David Schwimmer) "I'm paying you to STOP."

(Lisa Kudrow) "I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from "who's the Boss?""
(Courteney Cox) "Which one was that?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "You know, uh, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza -- "."

(Lisa Kudrow) "No, huh uh, no way, I'm sorry, not gonna happen."
(Matthew Perry) "Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Soap Opera Digest. That's one of my favorite digests."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Aww Pheebs."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Honey, that's your name."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, Pheebs is short for Phoebe I thought that's just what we called each other."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, I can't believe you. You've been so good, for three years."
(Matthew Perry) "And this- is my reward."
(David Schwimmer) "Hold on a second, all right? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit."
(Matthew Perry) "Okay, so this time I won't quit."

(Lisa Kudrow) "I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything?"
(Courteney Cox) "I'll have a latte."
(David Schwimmer) "I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf."
(Matthew Perry) "I'll have a bagel with a little --"
(Lisa Kudrow) "You know I was just being polite."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Leave me behind. I'm just a machine."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer."
(Courteney Cox) "Phoebe, your mom killed herself."
(Lisa Kudrow) "She was a drug dealer."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Quit being so "testosterony"."
(Matthew Perry) "-- The real San Francisco treat."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, my God. The foster puppets."

(Lisa Kudrow) "They're coming. Run."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Where?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Mexico."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, my god. You had sex."
(Courteney Cox) "No, we didn't."
(Lisa Kudrow) "I know YOU didn't, I'm saying she did."

(Lisa Kudrow) "We can be guys. Come on, let us be guys."
(Matthew Perry) "You don't want to be guys, you'd be all hairy and you wouldn't live as long."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Hey. Why isn't it Spidermen? You know, like Goldmen, Silvermen."
(Matthew Perry) "Because, it -- it's not his last name."
(Lisa Kudrow) "It isn't?"
(Matthew Perry) "No. It's not like Phil Spidermen. He's a spider man. You know, like Goldmen is a last name but there's no gold man."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, oh okay --"
(Lisa Kudrow) "There should be a gold man."

(Lisa Kudrow) "It's because of stuff like this that you're BURNING IN HELL."

(Lisa Kudrow) "I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit."

(Lisa Kudrow) "What's on your neck?"
(Courteney Cox) "That? That would be the work of a Blowfish."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Jingle bitch screwed me over. Go to hell jingle whore. Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell."

(Lisa Kudrow) "You know, we thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma."

(Lisa Kudrow) "And then what happened?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Ooooh."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Hi Joey."
(Lisa Kudrow) "This isn't over."

(Lisa Kudrow) ""Oh, I slept with Billy Joel." Who hasn't?"

(Lisa Kudrow) "PICK UP THE SOCK. PICK UP THE SOCK. PICK UP THE SOCK."

(Lisa Kudrow) "There's no such thing as an innocent Burger."

(Unnamed) "Come on, tell me about it."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Well, it's my friends. They have a liking problem. With you. In that -- they don't."
(Unnamed) "Oh."
(Lisa Kudrow) "But I do. Me, Phoebe."
(Unnamed) "Well, I can't say I'm surprised. It's what I've come to expect from this kind of co-dependent, dysfunctional group dynamic, this sitting around in your Coffee House drinking from Cups which, I'm sorry, may as well have nipples on them. Saying "Oh, define me, define me. Love me, I need love.""

(Lisa Kudrow) "And then it goes back to the chorus, "Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault" and that's it."
(Lisa Kudrow) "I know you didn't ask but no-one had spoken for fourteen minutes."

(Lisa Kudrow) "You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason."
(Matthew Perry) "Maureen Rosilla."
(David Schwimmer) ""'Cause she doesn't hate Yanni" is not a real reason."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Please don't kill yourself. My mother did, I know what I'm talking about. And besides, I wasn't even meant to be working today. Don't you see that the Universe wants you to live?"
(Unnamed) "Do you hear that? I don't need you people. The Universe cares about me. The whole Universe. Ha-ha-ha."
(Unnamed) "I wish they cared a little bit --"

(Lisa Kudrow) "If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer."

(Lisa Kudrow) "My mom used to stick her head in the oven. Actually she only did it the once, but it was pretty weird."

(Lisa Kudrow) "A person's wedding is important. And especially to me. OK? I didn't have a graduation party. And I didn't go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tyre yard by an escaped mental patient who in his own words wanted to "kill me, or whatever." So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it."

(Lisa Kudrow) "If I don't hold my hair, my head will fall off."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap, asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. He said all you need is to write them a song. Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No don't sing along. Monica, Monica, have a happy Hannukah. I saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy. And Rachel and Chandler -- have a"
(Lisa Kudrow) "handlerrrrr."

(Lisa Kudrow) "What happens to the old Christmas trees?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "They go into the chipper."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Why do I get the feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?"

(Unnamed) "I like that. what's your name?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in -- Ello there mate."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Today is Mike and my one year anniversary."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh. What's it the anniversary of? Your first date? Your first kiss? The first time you had sex?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Yeah."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?"

(Lisa Kudrow) "You know, this reminds me of the time I was living on the street and this guy said he'd buy me food if I slept with him. Because that was a real problem and this is just some High School crap."

(Lisa Kudrow) "There was a crooked man, who had a crooked smile, who lived in a shoe, for a -- while --"

(Lisa Kudrow) "That's it? "We were on a break." "No we weren't." What happened to you two?"

(Lisa Kudrow) "It's raining. I don't like to fly in the rain."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh, I'm going to go for a walk in the rain."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh -- me too."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Huh. I bet they're doing it."

(Lisa Kudrow) "This is big. No this is huge. No this is like really really -- all right what's bigger than huge?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Uh, this?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Yeah."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches."

(Lisa Kudrow) "You got a haircut."
(David) "Yeah, well, I got like, thirty of 'em."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Hey, can we turn on the TV? I think it's raining outside."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Ok, I got an idea. If it's a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it's a boy -- Phoebo."
(David Schwimmer) "Uhh -- Sure, but let's not limit ourselves to just one name."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Ok, I got one. If it's a girl -- Sandrine. It's French."
(David Schwimmer) "That's a great name -- for an industrial solvent."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Ok, you got a better one?"
(David Schwimmer) "Yeah, check this out. If it's a boy; Darwin."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yes, Ross, I do want a son who'll be regularly beaten in the schoolyard."
(Lisa Kudrow) "By Sandrine."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Are you kidding, that woman has the nose of a bloodhound. And the breasts of a Greek Goddess --"

(Lisa Kudrow) "Where's Chandler?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "He's grieving."
(Matthew Perry) "I'M FREE. I AM FREE."

(Lisa Kudrow) "Well, I'm a pacifist. But, when the revolution comes, I'll destroy all of you."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Except for you, Joey."

(Lisa Kudrow) "I've done some research, and it turns out mink aren't very nice."

Jennifer Aniston as Rachel

(Jennifer Aniston) "See? Unisex."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Maybe you need sex. I just had it a few days ago."
(Jennifer Aniston) "No, Joey, U-N-I-sex."
(Matt LeBlanc) "I wouldn't say no to that."

(Jennifer Aniston) "I'm tired of getting clobbered."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I love you."
(David Schwimmer) "Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, okay?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Now I love you even more."

(Jennifer Aniston) "I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open"
(Jennifer Aniston) "ha, I made you look."

(Jennifer Aniston) "How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people."
(Courteney Cox) "Maybe we're like some kind of magnets."
(Lisa Kudrow) "I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch."
(Courteney Cox) "There's more beer right?"

(Jennifer Aniston) "How about for a girl, Rain?"
(David Schwimmer) "Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln and my dress is made out of wheat.""
(Lisa Kudrow) "I know her."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Aw, this is a present from my boyfriend. It's a Love Bug, ha."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Ok, Joey, we'll do it one more time. Don't forget the rules -heads I win, tails you lose."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Just flip the coin."

(Jennifer Aniston) "I'm not someone who goes after a guy five minutes after he's divorced."
(Courteney Cox) "No, you go after them five minutes before they get married --"

(Jennifer Aniston) "Joey, I'm really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things --"
(Matt LeBlanc) "I know. I know."
(Jennifer Aniston) "It kinda worked. I mean you know, I don't know about you but I haven't thought about our thing since all this."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Hey you're right. Yeah, it's kinda been like us again a little bit."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah I know. I miss that."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Me too. I mean I -- haven't thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didn't feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward."
(Jennifer Aniston) "My gynecologist tried to kill me."

(Jennifer Aniston) "You don't want to try things too fast. You know what happened to the girl who tried things too fast?"
(Reese Witherspoon) "No. What?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Well -- she died."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Wow, must have been Drake."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Of course I admire you Phoebe. You have principles. I don't have any."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Are you sure that on some level you don't want to take off my bra?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "I don't have another level."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Hey Ben, you know what? When you were a baby, you and I used to do all sorts of stuff together, coz I was your daddy's girlfriend."
(Reese Witherspoon) "But you're not anymore."
(Jennifer Aniston) "No, no we're not."
(Reese Witherspoon) "Coz you and dad were on a break."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh, y'know what you should get 'em? One of those little uh, portable CD players."
(Courteney Cox) "Oh, I already have one."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Come on, Monica. They are Cute Doctors."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Doctors who are"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Cute."
(Matthew Perry) "So what have we learned so far? Rachel, what's all this about you and Doctors? I mean, was your Father a Doctor?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "-- Yes."

(Joshua Burgin) "Oh God, that Special Bond again."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Well --"
(Joshua Burgin) "Do you have a brother?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "No, but one of my sisters had a very -- masculine energy."
(Joshua Burgin) "And how did you get on?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh, I don't talk to them, they're not very nice people."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Ooh look, she's touching his leg."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh you see, that's probably nothing she's very sexually aggressive."

(Jennifer Aniston) "You didn't finish reading it?"
(David Schwimmer) "It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for eighteen pages; front and back."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Didn't the chick and the duck di --"
(Lisa Kudrow) "-ve, dive. Yeah, they dove. Head first into fun on the farm."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh, it was horrible. He called me "young lady"."
(Matthew Perry) "Ugh, I hate when my father calls me that."

(Jennifer Aniston) "I don't want my baby's first words to be "How You Doing""

(Jennifer Aniston) "Wha -- married?"
(David Schwimmer) "Well, yeah, I think we should get married."
(Jennifer Aniston) "What? Because that's your answer to everything?"

(Jennifer Aniston) "I've never been to an analyst."
(Lisa Kudrow) "And it shows."

(Jennifer Aniston) "God, this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride."
(Jennifer Aniston) "And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman."

(Jennifer Aniston) "So are things between you and Joey getting any better?"
(Matthew Perry) "It couldn't get any worse. Last night, I spent eight hours calling him, trying to get him to talk to me."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh, wow. Eight hours. So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?"
(David Schwimmer) "Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "You shouldn't."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh, honey. Don't get up. What do you need?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, no. Oh, nothing."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Come on. I am here to take care of you. What do you need? Anything."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Okay, I have a wedgie."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Okay, that is all you."

(Unnamed) "So, you work at Bloomindales -- My mom calls it Bloomies."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah, ok, At ease soldier."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Come on. You guys can pee standing up."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Well, I guess it wasn't Cupid that brought her here after all."
(Lisa Kudrow) "No, just another regular flying dwarf."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "I don't know, you might be the first one."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Joey, you can't steal an award."
(Matt LeBlanc) "I'm not stealing it. I'm accepting it on her behalf."
(Jennifer Aniston) "You don't even know what behalf means."
(Matt LeBlanc) "I know what it means. It's a verb. As in, I behalfing it."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Mon, I'm gonna to check my messages."
(Matthew Perry) "And you thought of that in there?"
(Courteney Cox) "Well, nature called and she wanted to see who else did."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Hey, just so you know: it's not that common, it doesn't "happen to every guy, " and it is a big deal."
(Matthew Perry) "I knew it."

(Jennifer Aniston) "I mean, is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah sure. Well, you know earlier she was talking about geography."
(Courteney Cox) "Joey, she was listing the countries she's done it in."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Well, I think we all learned something."

(Jennifer Aniston) "You know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend."
(Reese Witherspoon) "But you're not anymore. Because you were on a break."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Ever since I was humiliated, I've not been in a very museum-benefitty sort of place."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Who's FICA? Why is he getting all my money?"

(Jennifer Aniston) "Do you know the only person who'd wanna listen to this? A mental health professional. And that's only because they get paid a hundred dollars an hour."

(Jennifer Aniston) "You promised you would break up with her."
(Matthew Perry) "I did break up with her. She just took it really, really well."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone."
(Matt LeBlanc) "-- Are we still talking about sex?"

(Jennifer Aniston) "I will have the uh,"
(Jennifer Aniston) "side salad."
(Unnamed) "And what will that be on the side of?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?"

(Jennifer Aniston) "You gotta come with me."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Come where?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Wherever I go. Come on. You and me. We'll -- we'll start a new group. We're the best ones."
(Lisa Kudrow) "Okay, but try and get Joey, too."

(Jennifer Aniston) "You just grabbed some insane woman at the Coffee House?"
(David Schwimmer) "None of the Sane ones wanted to come back with me."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Ooh, I'm a man. Ooh, I have a penis. Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women."

(Jennifer Aniston) "Can you take care of Emma just for today?"
(David Schwimmer) "Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way."

Courteney Cox as Monica

(Courteney Cox) "Did you just smell my hair?"
(Pete) "No."
(Courteney Cox) "Oh my God, you still have feelings for me, don't you?"
(Pete) "No I don't."
(Courteney Cox) "None at all?"
(Pete) "Okay I love you, is that so wrong?"

(Courteney Cox) "Did you know she has like a hundred pairs of shoes, and she'll let you borrow them?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah, and then you stretch them out with your big ol' clown feet --"
(Courteney Cox) "You want to sleep outside, 'cos it's getting cold."

(Courteney Cox) "What about friends of your grandmother's? Wouldn't they have the recipe?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Well, you know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother,"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Nestlé Toulouse."
(Courteney Cox) "What was her name?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Nestlé Toulehouse."
(Courteney Cox) "Nestle Toll House?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language."

(Courteney Cox) "Whoa. Where you going in those pants? 1982?"

(Courteney Cox) "Hey. Where's Joey?"
(Matthew Perry) "Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?"

(Courteney Cox) "Chandler, it's okay. You don't have to be so macho all the time."
(Matthew Perry) "I'm not macho."
(Courteney Cox) "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking."

(Courteney Cox) "Whose little ball of paper is this?"
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, it's mine. I wrote a note to myself, and then I realized I didn't need, so I balled it up --"
(Matthew Perry) "And now I wish I was dead."

(Courteney Cox) "Look, Joey feels really bad for what happened. He thinks you hate him. He wants to move to Vermont."
(David Schwimmer) "I don't hate him. It's just -- You know what, I'll go talk to him. It's not his fault."
(Courteney Cox) "Thank you. He already asked me where he could exchange his dollars for Vermont money."

(Courteney Cox) "So you wanna?"
(Matthew Perry) "OK."
(Matthew Perry) "I can't."
(Courteney Cox) "Well you're not 18 anymore, but give it a minute."
(Matthew Perry) "I can't because of Emma."
(Courteney Cox) "Oh, Emma, Sweetie, I forgot you were here."

(Courteney Cox) "Can't we tell your parents first?"
(Tom Selleck) "They're both dead."
(Courteney Cox) "Oh, you are so lucky."

(Courteney Cox) "You wanted it to be a surprise."
(Matthew Perry) "Oh, my God."
(Courteney Cox) "Chandler, in all my life I never thought I would be so lucky as to fall in love with my best, my best --"
(Courteney Cox) "There's a reason why girls don't do this."
(Matthew Perry) "Okay, okay I'll do it. I thought, wait I can do this, I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?"
(Courteney Cox) "Yes."

(Courteney Cox) "Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?"
(Matthew Perry) "They were just giving it away at the mall --"
(Matthew Perry) "-- in exchange for money."

(Courteney Cox) "I like it even better on you than on Colonel Sanders."
(David Schwimmer) "Look, I just came here to tell you guys something."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Oh. Was it how you invented the cotton gin?"

(Courteney Cox) "My motto is, get out before they go down."
(Matt LeBlanc) "That is so not my motto."

(Courteney Cox) "What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Yeah, right --. Y'serious?"
(Lisa Kudrow) "Oh, yeah."
(Jennifer Aniston) "Everything you need to know is in that first kiss."
(Courteney Cox) "Absolutely."
(Matthew Perry) "Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out."
(David Schwimmer) "Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that -- that's not why we bought the ticket."
(Matthew Perry) "The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic -- basically just trying to stay awake."

(Courteney Cox) "Anyway, are you gonna get a handyman to install all this stuff?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "No, I was going to do this all by myself."
(Matt LeBlanc) "You're gonna do it?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "Yeah. Why, you don't think a woman can do this?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Oh, women can. You -- can't."

(Courteney Cox) "Okay, just don't go swimming right after you eat."
(Matthew Perry) "You know that's not really true."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Try telling that to my Uncle Vinnie."
(Matthew Perry) "Why? What happened to him?"
(Matt LeBlanc) "Nothing; he just really believes that."

(Courteney Cox) "This has been like my dream ever since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened "Easy Monica's Bakery"."

(Courteney Cox) "Listen, Rachel, I appreciate your situation but this is Valentine's Day. So, if you don't mind, would you please just go back home?"
(Jennifer Aniston) "What are you talking about? I live here."
(David Schwimmer) "Happy Valentine's Day."
(David Schwimmer) "Or, something to remember me by --"

(Courteney Cox) "Stick out your tongue."
(Matthew Perry) "Take off your shirt."

(Courteney Cox) "How ya doin'?"
(Matthew Perry) "Well, my apartment's not there anymore because I drank it."

(Courteney Cox) "There are no jobs for me."
(Matt LeBlanc) "Wait, here's one. Um, would you be willing to cook naked?"
(Courteney Cox) "There's an ad for a naked chef?"
(Matt LeBlanc

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