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Five Easy Pieces Quotes

Five Easy Pieces is a TV program that debuted in 1970 . Five Easy Pieces ended in 1970.

It features Bob Rafelson, and Richard Wechsler as producer, and László Kovács (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Five Easy Pieces is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Five Easy Pieces is 96 minutes long. Five Easy Pieces is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Jack Nicholson as Bobby, Lorna Thayer as Waitress, Helena Kallianiotes as Palm Apodaca, Karen Black as Rayette, Toni Basil as Terry, Susan Anspach as Catherine, Sally Struthers as Betty, Marlena MacGuire as Twinky, and Irene Dailey as Samia Glavia.

Five Easy Pieces Quotes

Sally Struthers as Betty

  • (Sally Struthers) "That's a wig you wear, isn't it?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Me?"
  • (Sally Struthers) "Yeah, I told her it was you but that you were wearin' a wig because on the TV you're mostly all, uh -"
  • (Sally Struthers) "bald up there."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Your, your little friend's real, real sharp. Uh, I don't, uh, I don't wear the wig on TV because if you're gonna be out there in front of two and a half million people, you've got to be sincere. I mean, I like to wear it when I'm in bowling alleys and slipping around, stuff like that. I think it gives me a little class. What do you think?"
  • (Sally Struthers) "When I was four, just four years old, I went to my mother and I said, "What's this hole in my chin?"; I saw this dimple in my chin in the mirror, and didn't know what it was. And my mother said; get what my mother says; she says, "When you're born, you go on a assembly line past God, and if He likes you, He says,"
  • (Sally Struthers) ""You cute little thing." and you get dimples there. And if He doesn't like you, He goes,"
  • (Sally Struthers) ""Go away." So about six months later, my mother found me saying my prayers, and I was going,"
  • (Sally Struthers) ""Now I lay me down to sleep -- " My mother says, "What are you covering up your chin for?" And I said, "Because if I cover up the hole, maybe He'll listen to me.""

Susan Anspach as Catherine

  • (Susan Anspach) "It's useless."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Look, give me a chance."
  • (Susan Anspach) "I'm trying to be delicate with you, but you just won't understand. I couldn't go with you. Not just because of Carl and my music, but because of you."
  • (Susan Anspach) "You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what would it come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something -- How can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Living here in this rest home/asylum; that's what you want?"
  • (Susan Anspach) "Yes."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "That will make you happy?"
  • (Susan Anspach) "I hope it will. Yes."
  • (Susan Anspach) "I'm sorry."
  • (Susan Anspach) "You're a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to? If a person has no love for himself, no respect for himself, no love of his friends, family, work, something; how can he ask for love in return? I mean, why should he ask for it?"

Karen Black as Rayette

  • (Karen Black) "I'm gonna play it again."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "You play that thing one more time, I'm gonna melt it down into hairspray."
  • (Karen Black) "Let me play the other side then."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "No, Rayette, it's not a question of sides. It's a question of musical integrity."
  • (Karen Black) "You love me, Bobby?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "What do you think?"
  • (Karen Black) "That was real good, wasn't it? I finally did it."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Great. You throw the big Z's for 19 frames, and then you throw a strike on the last ball of a losing game. Wonderful. Just wonderful."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Isn't that wonderful, ladies?"
  • (Marlena MacGuire) "Are you talking to us?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Wonderful."
  • (Karen Black) "I'm not."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "You're just gonna sit here?"
  • (Karen Black) "Yes."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Okay. I hope no one hits on you."
  • (Karen Black) "I hope they do."

Jack Nicholson as Bobby

  • (Jack Nicholson) "That's dangerous, you know."
  • (Susan Anspach) "Riding?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Mm-hmm. You play the piano all day and then jump on a horse, you could get cramps."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I don't know if you'd be particularly interested in hearing anything about me. My life, I mean -- Most of it doesn't add up to much that I could relate as a way of life that you'd approve of -- I'd like to be able to tell you why, but I don't really -- I mean, I move around a lot because things tend to get bad when I stay. And I'm looking -- for auspicious beginnings, I guess -- I'm trying to, you know, imagine your half of this conversation -- My feeling is, that if you could talk, we probably wouldn't be talking. That's pretty much how it got to be before -- I left -- Are you all right? I don't know what to say -- Tita suggested that we try to -- I don't know. I think that she -- seems to feel we've got -- some understanding to reach -- She totally denies the fact that we were never that comfortable with each other to begin with -- The best that I can do, is apologize. We both know that I was never really that good at it, anyway --"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I'm sorry it didn't work out."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I move around a lot, not because I'm looking for anything really, but 'cause I'm getting away from things that get bad if I stay."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "What else do you do?"
  • (Susan Anspach) "Well, there's fishing, boating, and concerts on the mainland."
  • (Susan Anspach) "I feel funny telling you this. This is really your home. You probably know better than I what there is to do."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Nothing."
  • (Susan Anspach) "Nothing?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Nothing."
  • (Susan Anspach) "Well, it must be very boring for you here."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "That's right."
  • (Susan Anspach) "I find that very hard to comprehend. I don't think I've ever been bored. Excuse me."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee."
  • (Lorna Thayer) "A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules."
  • (Lorna Thayer) "You want me to hold the chicken, huh?"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I want you to hold it between your knees."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "What are you doing screwing around with all this crap?"
  • (Susan Anspach) "I do not find your language very charming."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "It isn't. It's direct."
  • (Susan Anspach) "I'd like you to leave so that I can take a bath. Is that direct?"

Helena Kallianiotes as Palm Apodaca

  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "Fantastic that you could figure that all out and lie that down on her so you could come up with a way to get your toast. Fantastic."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Yeah, well, I didn't get it, did I?"
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "No, but it was very clever. I would have just punched her out."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "People. Animals are not like that. They're always cleaning themselves. Did you ever see, umm -- pigeons? Well, he's always picking on himself and his friends. They're always picking bugs out of their hair all the time. Monkeys too. Except they do something out in the open that I don't go for."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "You know, I read where they, uh, invented this car that runs on, ummm -- that runs on, ummm -- when you boil water?"
  • (Toni Basil) "Steam."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "Right, steam. A car that you could ride around in and not cause a stink. But do you know they will not even let us have it? Can you believe it? Why? Man. He likes to create a stink. I mean, I've seen filth that you wouldn't believe. Ugh. What a stink. I don't even want to talk about it."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "Hey, follow that truck. They know the best places to stop."
  • (Karen Black) "That's an old maid's tale."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "Bulls***. Truck drivers are the only ones that know the best places to stop on the road."
  • (Karen Black) "Salesmen and cops are the ones. If you'd ever waitressed, honey, you'd know that."
  • (Helena Kallianiotes) "Don't call me honey, mac."
  • (Karen Black) "Don't call me mac, honey."

Irene Dailey as Samia Glavia

  • (Irene Dailey) "-- It was just what I was trying to point out --"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Don't sit there pointing at her."
  • (Irene Dailey) "I beg your pardon."
  • (Jack Nicholson) "I said don't point at her, you creep."
  • (Irene Dailey) "But I was just telling about --"
  • (Jack Nicholson) "Where do you get the ass to tell anybody anything about class, or who the hell's got it, or what she typifies? You shouldn't even be in the same room with her, you pompous celibate -- You're totally full of s***. You're all full of s***."

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