Fierce Creatures Quotes

Fierce Creatures is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Fierce Creatures ended in 1970.

It features Michael Shamberg; John Cleese as producer, Jerry Goldsmith in charge of musical score, and Ian Baker; Adrian Biddle as head of cinematography.

Fierce Creatures is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom, and United States. Each episode of Fierce Creatures is 93 minutes long. Fierce Creatures is distributed by Universal Pictures.

The cast includes: John Cleese as Rollo Lee, Robert Lindsay as Sydney Lotterby, Kevin Kline as Vince, Kevin Kline as Rod, Kevin Kline as Vince McCain, Jamie Lee Curtis as Willa Weston, Bille Brown as Neville, Kevin Kline as Rod McCain, Cynthia Cleese as Pip Small Mammals, Carey Lowell as Cub Felines, Kevin Kline as Vince McCaine, and Richard Ridings as Hugh Primates.

Fierce Creatures Quotes

John Cleese as Rollo Lee

• (John Cleese) "It's an anteater, not a maneater."
• (Robert Lindsay) "What would you be saying if it went over there, jumped into that pram? What would you be saying to the child's mother now?"
• (John Cleese) "I'd be saying, "Madam, you are the victim of an 8 billion to one chance: a leaping anteater. An evolutionary mutant previously unknown to science.""

• (John Cleese) "I think the whole Octopus philosophy is poison. The only aim of any and every McCain business is to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize, etc., etc., without ever running a single one of them really well. And if anyone ever raises the question of quality, they're immediately attacked as an elitist, because at Octopus it's considered morally offensive to talk about anything but money. All so that Mr. Rod McCain can feel a little more powerful every day. That's why, instead of running this wonderful zoo; properly; we've got to spoil it in order to finance his next mindless acquisition."

• (John Cleese) "No one's ever been attacked by one of those, Lotterby, or if they have been, they never noticed."

• (John Cleese) "Bandicoot?"
• (John Cleese) "My -- GOD."
• (Cynthia Cleese) "It's just a Flesh Wound, sir."
• (Cynthia Cleese) "A few stitches, I'll be back at work."
• (John Cleese) "Are you sure?"
• (Cynthia Cleese) "Oh, don't worry sir. It's part of the job with the BANDICOOTS."

• (John Cleese) "Oh, great -- terrific."
• (John Cleese) "He decides to keep the zoo open, so you kill him. Brilliant. Well done. Thank you so much, especially for shooting him right between the eyes,"
• (John Cleese) "so that it doesn't look like an accident. Because the people at Octopus will know that he was coming here to close us down, so there's our motive for murdering him. Stunning. Well, Mr. Brain of Britain, what are we going to tell the police, who are, of course, already on their way here? Another example of the thoroughness of your plan. Go on, I'm all ears."
• (John Cleese) "What do you suggest we do with the dead body of the incredibly famous man, who you have just -- ASSASSINATED?"
• (John Cleese) "Sorry, I didn't -- quite catch it -- What? What was that? -- Pop him in the blender?"
• (John Cleese) "I KNOW. I KNOW HE'S DEAD. I DID NOTICE."
• (John Cleese) "Where's the body?"

• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "Scared? Oh, don't worry about Terry; he wouldn't hurt a fly. Well, actually, he would hurt a fly, bein' a Mexican red-kneed tarantula; Brachypelma smithii; and therefore particularly partial to flies. The point is that Terry has a bite relatively harmless to human beings, and you reacted as though he were fierce; which he isn't."
• (John Cleese) "Yes, I always had a bit of a thing about spiders, actually."
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "So -- if creatures are thought to be fierce, they are, ipso facto -- fierce."

• (John Cleese) "About some of these sponsorship ideas."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Mmm?"
• (John Cleese) "I, I wonder if you and your fiancé don't, don't feel that -- some, some of them are --"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Fiancé? Vince? No, no. No, no, we're not together."
• (John Cleese) "Ohh, good."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) ""Good"?"
• (John Cleese) "Good.; I mean, I know we're not making 20% yet, but, but some of the marketing devices are a bit -- a bit -- crude?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Yes."
• (John Cleese) "Good. Because, you know, the, the keepers and, um, and I were --"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Oh, look at that. Aren't they gorgeous ? Oh, they just make you want to fondle them --"
• (John Cleese) "Oh yes. Yes, yes, uh, yes, I see what you mean. Yes."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Is this one your favorite?"
• (John Cleese) "Yes, yes, I like him breast of -- uh, best, ahem, of all the -- the small mammaries. Mammals. (Sorry.) Ahem. Yes, his, his name's, uh, Rollo, actually."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Really."
• (John Cleese) "Hm. Yes, so I, I sort of feed him some little special tits-bits. Tits. Tid, tid, sorry, tidbits. (Keep making boobs.) Anyway, he just -- loves his nuts."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Does he? Hmm. And is, uh, Rollo very sexually active?"
• (John Cleese) "Well, he, he doesn't have a, a partner at the moment. You, you know, if he, if he had one --"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "One?"
• (John Cleese) "Hm?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "I mean, just one? He wouldn't get bored, or? I mean -- you had two -- in your cage the other day."
• (John Cleese) "Oh, yes, huh. I mean, um, some of those, some of those sponsorship gimmicks are a bit sexcessive -- exsexi -- sexiss --"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Excessive."
• (John Cleese) "That's it, sorry. Freudian slit. Slut. Slot."

• (John Cleese) "Is there a history of insanity in your family?"

• (John Cleese) "Starting with his father's radio stations in New Zealand, he has built up a global empire currently worth more than six billion dollars -- and growing."
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "How much does he want in the end?"
• (Robert Lindsay) "Yeah."
• (John Cleese) "What?"
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "How much bigger does he want to get?"
• (John Cleese) "Well, there aren't any limits. He wants growth."
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "Presumably he's aware of Dr. E.F. Schumacher's concept of limited resources, or as Jean-Paul Sartre puts it --"
• (John Cleese) "Any sensible questions?"

Jamie Lee Curtis as Willa Weston

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "It's short."
• (John Cleese) "Yes; the simpler it is, the more watertight."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "For one thing, he loves animals."
• (Kevin Kline) "Oh, he doesn't just love 'em."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "I think it's too soon."
• (Kevin Kline) "Why?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Because what we have is special."
• (Kevin Kline) "No it isn't."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "He reminds me of my father."
• (Kevin Kline) "Was your father ugly?"

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "What about the quality of the experience?"
• (Kevin Kline) "No, Rod says quality has never worked for him."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Why do you work for us, Rollo?"
• (John Cleese) "Cowardice?"

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "I love this zoo."
• (John Cleese) "I love zoo too."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "You know what you are? You're pronoid."
• (Kevin Kline) ""Pronoid"?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Mm-hmm. It means that contrary to all the available evidence, you actually think that people like you. Your perception of life is that it's one long benefit dinner in your honor with everybody cheering you on and wanting you to win everything. You think you're the prince, Vince."

• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "You really don't like animals, do you?"
• (Kevin Kline) "No, it's not that I don't like them, I just don't see the point. I remember, when I was five, my mother got me this -- dog. Pft. I just didn't get it. I suppose I had nothing I needed fetched. So I sold him."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "How sad."
• (Kevin Kline) "Oh, he got over it."

Kevin Kline as Vince

• (Kevin Kline) "I don't like you. You're weird and unattractive."

• (Kevin Kline) "I never have to listen to you again, do I? With your"
• (Kevin Kline) ""You're no son of mine, you miserable little worm. You've been a disappointment to me since the day your mother farted you out of her womb.""
• (John Cleese) "Brilliant."

• (Kevin Kline) "What are you doing with that?"
• (John Cleese) "Uh -- oh, the lemur?"
• (Kevin Kline) "Yeah."
• (John Cleese) "Oh, just putting it back in its enclosure."
• (Kevin Kline) "Why'd you take it out?"
• (John Cleese) "Ahhhhh -- for a walk -- you know, exercise."
• (Kevin Kline) "It can hardly move in there."
• (John Cleese) "Ah, no, no, the exercise is for me."
• (Kevin Kline) "So what do you need that for?"
• (John Cleese) "That's a good point, actually. Um, well, perhaps I won't bother in future. Thanks for the hint."
• (Kevin Kline) "Hey, hey, hey, hey. Were you going to use that for target practice?"
• (John Cleese) "Oh, no. Ha."
• (Kevin Kline) "Or, uh, one of your orgies?"
• (John Cleese) "Orgies?"
• (Kevin Kline) "Yeah. I'm onto you. You were going to put that somewhere. You're sick."

• (Kevin Kline) "I'm going to the shed. Mother always said, when you're naughty, you go to the shed. And I've been naughty. God, I'm depressed."

• (Kevin Kline) "No, no. This is the kind of conversation that two people have when one of them is female."

• (Kevin Kline) "Oh, were you asleep?"
• (John Cleese) "Uh, yes, I frequently am at 2 A.M., I'm afraid. Uh, filthy habit I picked up in the Far East."
• (Kevin Kline) "Oh well, gee, look, if this communiqué is in any way, uh, sleep-interruptive, I'll, uh, re-telephone you later."

• (Kevin Kline) "We'll get a tame vet to say they've caught some disgusting disease."
• (Bille Brown) "Pity this isn't Texas"
• (Kevin Kline) "Why's that?"
• (Bille Brown) "We could charge people to do it for us."

• (Kevin Kline) "Round here, he's known as Rod Almighty."

• (Kevin Kline) "You mean he's dead?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Yes."
• (Kevin Kline) "And he's not coming back?"
• (John Cleese) "No. I'm sorry."
• (Kevin Kline) "I'm so happy."
• (Kevin Kline) "You're dead. You're dead. You're dead."
• (Kevin Kline) "You big-fat-bastard. YES."

• (Kevin Kline) "He looks like he's borrowed his body for the weekend, and hasn't figured out how it works yet."

• (Kevin Kline) "And I want to thank you all, personally, for the incredible enthusiasm that you've shown vis-à-vis our latest new innovative initiative. You look fantastic. You're no longer a bunch of smelly old animal keepers. No, as of today, you are official Theme Zoo Visitation Enhancement Facilitators."

• (Kevin Kline) "Willa, can I ask you a question?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Sure."
• (Kevin Kline) "Those breasts real?"
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Yes."
• (Kevin Kline) "Yippee."
• (Kevin Kline) "You know, Willa, uh, you better be careful dressed like that around here. People will think you're sleeping your way to the top."
• (Jamie Lee Curtis) "Just as long as they don't think I'm sleeping my way to the middle."

• (Kevin Kline) "I can understand the gorrila, but not -- not Mr Disgusting."

Bille Brown as Neville

• (Bille Brown) "Mate, Beijing called. We've got the television rights to their public executions."
• (Kevin Kline) "Worldwide?"
• (Bille Brown) "Five guys a week, guaranteed."
• (Kevin Kline) "Beauty."

Carey Lowell as Cub Felines

• (Carey Lowell) "We weren't playing tricks, Bugsy. We're trying to confront him with the reality."
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "Presumably you realize --"
• (Robert Lindsay) "Bugsy, shut up. He's not a cold-blooded murderer. We've given him the five sweetest, cuddliest, most lovable --"

Robert Lindsay as Sydney Lotterby

• (Robert Lindsay) "Please, this is a wild animal. You get too close, it'll give you a nasty nip."
• (John Cleese) "A safety pin would give me a nasty nip, Lotterby. I'll tell you what fierce is, fierce is biting the whole hand off."
• (Robert Lindsay) "The whole hand?"
• (Richard Ridings) "Is it all right if it wrenches the hand off?"
• (John Cleese) "Oh, yes."
• (Richard Ridings) "Whew."

Cynthia Cleese as Pip Small Mammals

• (Cynthia Cleese) "You didn't kill them."
• (John Cleese) "What?"
• (Carey Lowell) "We checked, they're all alive."
• (John Cleese) "Oh --."
• (Robert Lindsay) "You rascal."
• (Robert Lindsay) "He was only kidding."
• (Adrian "Bugsy" Malone) "Just figured that out, have you?"
• (John Cleese) "I say --"

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