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Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quotes

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a television show that appeared on TV in 1970 . Ferris Bueller's Day Off completed its run in 1970.

It features John Hughes, and Tom Jacobson as producer, Ira Newborn in charge of musical score, and Tak Fujimoto as head of cinematography.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Ferris Bueller's Day Off is 103 minutes long. Ferris Bueller's Day Off is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Matthew Broderick as Ferris, Jeffrey Jones as Ed Rooney, Alan Ruck as Cameron, Edie McClurg as Grace, Jennifer Grey as Jeannie, Ben Stein as Economics Teacher, Mia Sara as Simone, Richard Edson as Garage Attendant, Mia Sara as Sloane, Cindy Pickett as Katie Bueller, Lyman Ward as Tom Bueller, and Del Close as English Teacher.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off Quotes

Mia Sara as Sloane

  • (Mia Sara) "He's gonna marry me."
  • (Mia Sara) "What are we going to do?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?""
  • (Alan Ruck) "Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Neither would I."
  • (Mia Sara) "What could happen to it? It's in a garage."
  • (Alan Ruck) "It could get wrecked, stolen, scratched, breathed on wrong -- a pigeon could shit on it. Who knows?"
  • (Mia Sara) "Sooner or later, everybody goes kazoo."
  • (Mia Sara) "We can't come to the phone right now. We've had a -- death in the family."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Grace, Ferris Bueller is behind this. There is no doubt in my mind, and now, he's got Sloane Peterson involved in this thing."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Her grandmother, too."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "You pinhead."
  • (Mia Sara) "If you need to reach us, we'll be at the following number --"
  • (Mia Sara) "The city looks so peaceful from up here."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet."
  • (Alan Ruck) "I think I see my dad."

Jeffrey Jones as Ed Rooney

  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Come here doggy. Look what Uncle Ed's got for you, you little fucker."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody -- It's true."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Mmm-hmm."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectivley govern this student body."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Well, makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Thank you, Grace. I think you're wrong."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads; they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "That is why I have got to catch him this time- To show these kids the example he sets is a first class ticket to nowhere."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Oh, Ed, you sounded like Dirty Harry just then."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Really?"
  • (Edie McClurg) "Uh-huh"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Thanks, Grace."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Ahem -- Mr. Peterson?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Uhum."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Uhhm -- you know, I-I think I owe you an apology, sir."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Well I should say you do."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I, uh -- I-I-I --"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Well, I think you should be sorry, for Christ's sake. A family member dies, and you insult me, what the hell's the matter with you, anyway?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Uh-uh-uh, well I, you --"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "-- I-I really don't know, sir, I mean, I didn't think I was talking to you, I thought I was talking to somebody else, you know sir, I would never deliberately insult you like that, I-I can't begin to tell you how embarrassed I am."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Pardon my French -- but you're an asshole."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Asshole."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Uhh, you're absolutely right, sir, you've hit the nail right on the head."
  • (Alan Ruck) "This isn't over yet Buster, do you read me?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Between grief and nothing -- I'll take grief."
  • (Mia Sara) "Great."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I'm very sorry, Mr. Peterson --"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Call me sir. Goddamn it."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "So THAT's how it is in their family --"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?"
  • (Cindy Pickett) "I don't understand."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year."
  • (Cindy Pickett) "This is all news to me."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times."
  • (Cindy Pickett) "Nine times?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Nine times."
  • (Cindy Pickett) "I don't remember him being sick nine times."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path."
  • (Cindy Pickett) "I can't believe it."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I've got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days --"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?"
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Well with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody -- Its true."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "How would you feel about another year of high school? Under my close personal supervision."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."

Matthew Broderick as Ferris

  • (Matthew Broderick) "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Smile, babe. Just smile --"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "You're still here? It's over. Go home. Go."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Oh, thanks."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "I'm serious man, this is ridiculous making me wait around the house for you."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Why can't you let me rot in peace?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Cameron, this is my ninth sick day. If I get caught, I don't graduate. I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for you."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Do you know what my diastolic is?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Be a man, take some Pepto-Bismol, get dressed and come on over here, I'm tired of this stuff."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Oh, shut up."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Hold your water for a second, I got another call."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Dad, all this talking has made me kinda light headed, I think I oughta lie down."
  • (Lyman Ward) "Take a bath. Then wrap a hot towel around your head."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Wrap a hot towel around my head?"
  • (Lyman Ward) "And then make yourself some soup, get a nap."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off."
  • (Alan Ruck) "How?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "We'll drive home backwards."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Where's your brain?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Why'd you kick me?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Where's your brain?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Why'd you kick me?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Where's your brain?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "I asked you first."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "I said for her to be there alone and you freaked."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you."
  • (Alan Ruck) "You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "The place is like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold, and you're not allowed to touch anything."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Cameron has never been in love; at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today; Cameron Frye, this one's for you."
  • (Mia Sara) "Ferris. Get off of the float."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Do you speak English?"
  • (Richard Edson) "What country do you think this is?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Incredible, one of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably going to have to barf up a lung, so I better make this one count."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to."
  • (Alan Ruck) "We're pinched, for sure."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Hi, how you doing? I'm Ferris Bueller."
  • (Maitre D') "All right, I've had enough of this."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "You touch me, I yell RAT."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Cameron, what have you seen today?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Nothing good."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Nothing; wha; what do you mean nothing good? We've seen everything good. We've seen the whole city. We went to a museum, we saw priceless works of art. We ate pancreas."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Do you have a kiss for daddy?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Hi. Do you speak English?"
  • (Richard Edson) "Uh, what country do you think this is?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Who is it?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "I recall Central Park in Fall, how you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess --"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Here's where Cameron goes berserk."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh -- you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend."
  • (Alan Ruck) "You've been saying that since the fifth grade."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "What's he doing?"
  • (Mia Sara) "He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Cameron, babe, what's happenin'?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Very little."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Never had one lesson."
  • (Maitre D') "You're Abe Froman?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "That's right, I'm Abe Froman."
  • (Maitre D') "The Sausage King of Chicago?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "-- Uh yeah, that's me."
  • (Maitre D') "Look, I'm very busy. Why don't you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?"
  • (Maitre D') "I'm suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Snooty?"
  • (Maitre D') "Snotty."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Snotty?"

Edie McClurg as Grace

  • (Edie McClurg) "Oh, Ed. You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then."
  • (Jeffrey Jones) "Really? Thanks, Grace."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads; they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Hello, Jeannie. Who's bothering you now?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Is Mr. Rooney in?"
  • (Edie McClurg) "No, I'm sorry. He's not. May I help you?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "I seriously doubt it. When's he back?"
  • (Edie McClurg) "Well, I don't know. He's left the school grounds on personal business."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "What's that supposed to mean?"
  • (Edie McClurg) "Well, I believe that it's personal and it's none of your business, young lady."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Nice attitude."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Isn't Mrs. Hagel expecting you in Consumer Ed. class?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Probably."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Mmm-mmm-mmm. What a little asshole."
  • (Edie McClurg) "Peterson home on line one. And watch your mouth this time."

Alan Ruck as Cameron

  • (Alan Ruck) "He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me till I come over, he'll make me feel guilty, this uh, this is ridiculous okay I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go with, I'll go. Shit."
  • (Alan Ruck) "God Dammit."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Forget it, that's it."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Okay Ferris, can we just let it go, please?"
  • (Mia Sara) "Ferris, please. You've gone to far. We're going to get busted."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that."
  • (Alan Ruck) "It's getting late, buddy. We better go get the car back home."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "We have a few hours. We have until 6:00."
  • (Alan Ruck) "I'm sorry. I know you don't care, but it does mean my ass."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "You think I don't care?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "I KNOW you don't care."
  • (Alan Ruck) "I don't know what I'm gonna do."
  • (Mia Sara) "College."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Yeah, but to do what?"
  • (Mia Sara) "What are you interested in?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "Nothing."
  • (Mia Sara) "Me neither."
  • (Alan Ruck) "YOU'RE CRAZY."
  • (Mia Sara) "What do you think Ferris is gonna do?"
  • (Alan Ruck) "He's gonna be a fry cook at Venus."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Who do you love? Who do you love? You love a car."
  • (Alan Ruck) "When Cameron was in Egypt's land -- let my Cameron go.""
  • (Alan Ruck) "What'd I do?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "You killed the car."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Ferris Bueller, you're my hero."
  • (Alan Ruck) "No. Ferris, forget it. You're just gonna have to think of somethin' else. I'm puttin' my foot down."
  • (Alan Ruck) "How bout we rent a nice Cadillac? My treat. We could call a limo. A nice stretch job with a TV and a bar. How 'bout that?"
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Come on. Live a little."
  • (Alan Ruck) "The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."
  • (Alan Ruck) "He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh -- This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What; I'LL GO. Shit."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile."
  • (Alan Ruck) "No. No. Apparently, you don't understand."
  • (Matthew Broderick) "Wow."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Ferris, he never drives it. He just rubs it with a diaper."
  • (Alan Ruck) "Hey batta batta batta hey batta batta batta SWING batta."
  • (Alan Ruck) "You have reached the Coughlin Brothers Mortuary. We're deeply sorry we are not able to come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we will get back to you as soon as humanly possible."

Jennifer Grey as Jeannie

  • (Jennifer Grey) "Well, where is she? This is her daughter."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Do know where she is?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Well, do you know when she'll be back?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Do you know anything?"
  • (Boy in Police Station) "There's someone you should talk to."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "Oh, you know him?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy. After all, I got a car, he got a computer. But still, why should he get to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants? Why should everything work out for him? What makes him so goddamn special?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Screw him."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "Drugs?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Thank you, no. I'm straight."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "I meant, are you in here for drugs?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Why are you here?"
  • (Boy in Police Station) "Drugs."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "There is an intruder; male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird; in my kitchen -- M-my-my-my name is Bueller --"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right? I need help. Speaka de English? DICKHEAD."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "What's your name?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "It's Jean, but most guys call me Shauna."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "Okay, Jean."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "I can't drive when you're yelling at me. STOP IT."
  • (Jennifer Grey) "In a nutshell: I hate my brother."
  • (Boy in Police Station) "That's cool. Did you blow him away or somethin'?"
  • (Shermerite) "Save Ferris? Save Ferris?"
  • (Shermerite) "Save Ferris?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Excuse me?"
  • (Shermerite) "Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. They run about 50 g's, so if you wouldn't mind helping out --"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "Go piss up a flagpole."
  • (Shermerite) "I'm sorry?"
  • (Jennifer Grey) "You should be."
  • (Shermerite) "You heartless wench."

Ben Stein as Economics Teacher

  • (Ben Stein) "In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the -- Anyone? Anyone? -- the Great Depression, passed the -- Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered? -- raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. "Voodoo" economics."
  • (Ben Stein) "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"
  • (Mia Sara) "Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
  • (Ben Stein) "Thank you, Simone."
  • (Mia Sara) "No problem whatsoever."

Cindy Pickett as Katie Bueller

  • (Cindy Pickett) "I just picked up Jeannie at the police station. She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her."
  • (Lyman Ward) "I think we should shoot her."

Del Close as English Teacher

  • (Del Close) "In -- what -- way -- does the author's use of the prison"
  • (Del Close) "symbolize the protagonist's struggle, and how does this relate to our discussion of the uses of irony?"

Richard Edson as Garage Attendant

  • (Richard Edson) "You fellas have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional."
  • (Alan Ruck) "A professional what?"

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