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Fathers' Day (1997 film) Quotes

Fathers' Day (1997 film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Fathers' Day ended its run in 1970.

It features Ivan Reitman as producer, James Newton Howard in charge of musical score, and Stephen H. Burum as head of cinematography.

Fathers' Day (1997 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Fathers' Day (1997 film) is 98 minutes long. Fathers' Day (1997 film) is distributed by Warner Bros..

The cast includes: Robin Williams as Dale Putley, Billy Crystal as Jack Lawrence, Haylie Johnson as Nikki, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Rose, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Carrie, Charlie Hofheimer as Scott, Jared Harris as Lee, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Carrie Lawrence.

Fathers' Day (1997 film) Quotes

Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Carrie Lawrence

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Charlie Hofheimer as Scott

  • (Charlie Hofheimer) "Why are you doing this?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "We're your fathers."
  • (Charlie Hofheimer) "The money is safe. It's in a safe. It's at the hotel where I'm staying. I'll go get it."
  • (Jared Harris) "Um, do I have 'asshole' tattooed on my forehead for something? I think we all better go get it, eh? Now Scott, you're not bulls***ting us are you? Because if you're bulls***ting us, I'm gonna kill you."
  • (Charlie Hofheimer) "I feel like such a loser."
  • (Robin Williams) "Come on, Scott, you're still young. Being a true loser takes years of ineptitude."

Robin Williams as Dale Putley

  • (Robin Williams) "For years I've thought about killing myself. It's the only thing that kept me going."
  • (Robin Williams) "Do you know who I am? I am the cowboy with the Village People, Bob, if I don't get back there, it's just gonna be "Y-M-_-A.""
  • (Robin Williams) "You know, Scott, when I was your age I was pulling on myself harder than a tractor pulling Arkansas."
  • (Robin Williams) ""Gray skies are gonna clear up, sit on a happy -- ""
  • (Robin Williams) "Jack, look at this."
  • (Billy Crystal) "It's money. I remember it from when I was single."
  • (Robin Williams) "I wrote this musical called "Hello, Doctor, it's Still Swollen." It had a great opening, went like this: "Hello Mr. Colon, my prostate's feelin' swollen. I think that things are flowin' not so well.""
  • (Robin Williams) "Breakfast. "I'm feelin' kinda heinous cause there's something in my -- ""
  • (Waiter) "Morning."
  • (Robin Williams) "Could you see if there's someone lying in the road?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "No, nothing there."
  • (Robin Williams) "There's not a body lying in the road?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "A what?"
  • (Robin Williams) "A body."
  • (Billy Crystal) "No, nobody there."
  • (Robin Williams) "I often think that I've run someone over."
  • (Robin Williams) "I'm an actor. A writer at large. I produce plays, things from my soul. But it's avant-garde, very experimental."
  • (Billy Crystal) "You mean with guinea pigs?"
  • (Robin Williams) "Come on Jack"
  • (Billy Crystal) "Whoa, where are you going?"
  • (Robin Williams) "Kick some ass"
  • (Robin Williams) "Do you have a boyfriend?"
  • (Unnamed) "No."
  • (Robin Williams) "Good. Me neither."
  • (Robin Williams) "Dude, I'm your old man. I suppose you're wondering why your middle name is Rainbow."
  • (Robin Williams) "Yo son, what's up, homes?"
  • (Robin Williams) "I am your father. Hug me, and let us join our spirits."
  • (Robin Williams) "Gentlemen, haven't we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love."
  • (Jared Harris) "No, all we need is money, mate."
  • (Robin Williams) "$5,000 in cash. What is he doing with $5,000 in cash?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "He stole it."
  • (Robin Williams) "Why do you always jump to the worst possible conclusion?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "Okay, he won it in a hair-whirl contest."
  • (Robin Williams) "How did you get her husband to talk?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "I head-butted him."
  • (Robin Williams) "How Joe Pesci of you. What are gonna do with her, run her tits through the Visa machine?"

Billy Crystal as Jack Lawrence

  • (Billy Crystal) "How about crying again? You know, it might reach her maternal -- thing."
  • (Robin Williams) "Cry? Just like that?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "You cried when we missed the exit."
  • (Robin Williams) "Don't mock me."
  • (Billy Crystal) "What happened?"
  • (Robin Williams) "He poured hot coffee all over my penis. Took my clothes and he ran away."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Don't cry. Now where is he?"
  • (Robin Williams) "I don't know."
  • (Billy Crystal) "I don't like you."
  • (Billy Crystal) "You're a tragic hero. You're Lou Gehrig."
  • (Robin Williams) "Who?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "Lou Gehrig. Everybody knows Lou Gehrig. The baseball player. He died of Lou Gehrig's Disease."
  • (Robin Williams) "Wow, what are the odds on that?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "You know what? Take my car."
  • (Robin Williams) "You're giving me your car, Jack? That's so Elvis of you."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Not to keep. To take the airport. I'll have one of my interns pick it up in the morning."
  • (Robin Williams) "You want me driving your car?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "It's just a thing. It's a priceless, irreplaceable thing."
  • (Billy Crystal) "What do you do for a living?"
  • (Robin Williams) "Uh, I teach English as a third language at the Jewish Community Center."
  • (Billy Crystal) "He was lying to me, but he made me feel good."
  • (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) "What do you mean he lied to you?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "Lied right to my face. Big-time lie."
  • (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) "How do you know?"
  • (Billy Crystal) "I'm a lawyer. People lie to me all the time."
  • (Billy Crystal) "This is for my fine. This is for his fine. This is for the boy's fine. This is for getting the car out of the impound, and this is for the fabulous breakfast buffet we had this morning. Are eggs supposed to make noise when you eat them?"
  • (Desk Seargent) "Very funny. Look, just stay out of trouble."
  • (Robin Williams) "See you next year at the reunion."
  • (Billy Crystal) "How long have you been driving?"
  • (Robin Williams) "About 30 years now."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Oh? Listen these things take time. Brake. Brake."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Perfect."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Dale, I feel like I'm in a white Bronco."
  • (Robin Williams) "Sorry, I just get anxious driving over bridges."
  • (Billy Crystal) "That's because you're going 20 miles per hour."
  • (Robin Williams) "I'm going 35 miles per hour, Jack."
  • (Billy Crystal) "Yeah, I can feel the G-force."

Haylie Johnson as Nikki

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