Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond is a Sitcom that debuted in 1996 on CBS. Everybody Loves Raymond ended in 2005.

Everybody Loves Raymond was on for 9 seasons and 210 episodes. It features Rick Marotta as composer. Everybody Loves Raymond is executive produced by David Letterman, Rory Rosegarten, Stu Smiley, Philip Rosenthal, and Ray Romano. Everybody Loves Raymond is created by Philip Rosenthal.

Everybody Loves Raymond is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Everybody Loves Raymond is 22 minutes long. Everybody Loves Raymond is produced by Philip Rosenthal and distributed by King World Productions.

Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes

• (Debra Barone) "Where did you just come from?"
• (Raymond) "I went to the bathroom."
• (Debra Barone) "No, you didn't."
• (Raymond) "I'm doing it right now."

• (Robert Barone) "So, Debra's parents are coming over?"
• (Ray Barone) "Yeah, they don't come around much anymore, so we want to spend as much time as possible with them."
• (Ray Barone) "I've been told that's how I feel."

• (Marie Barone) "He hates it when I cry. It reminds him of our wedding night."

• (Frank Barone) "Chuck Pacarello? Where the hell is he? That son of a bitch owes me. I'm serving his life sentence."

• (Marie Barone) "Who keeps pornography for twenty-nine years?"
• (Frank Barone) "Anyone married to you."

• (Robert Barone) "I'm a freak."
• (Raymond) "You're superfreaky."

• (Robert Barone) "I actually say a prayer that Ray doesn't do so good that day."
• (Debra Barone) "You say a prayer?"
• (Robert Barone) "Come on, God, get him."

• (Marie Barone) "Frank. What are you doing? You can't eat it from there. Your fork was in there. Now nobody can eat it."
• (Frank Barone) "That's all I have to do? In that case, the fork's been in the ice cream, too."
• (Ray Barone) "Hey."
• (Marie Barone) "Hi, Raymond. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? Only you can't have lasagna -- Or ice cream."
• (Frank Barone) "Or chocolate cake."
• (Marie Barone) "Look at him. He's like an animal, marking his territory."
• (Marie Barone) "Hey."
• (Frank Barone) "What? That's a compliment."
• (Ray Barone) "God, how I wish I could say this is the wrong house --"

• (Marie) "Are ya hungry dear?"

• (Ray Barone) "Shouldn't you be yelling at me, or something?"
• (Debra Barone) "Ray, when you're on the Titanic you lower the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg."

• (Robert Barone) "How about I hit you with your own wife?"

• (Ray Barone) "Could you, er, put a shirt on?"
• (Ray Barone) "And some underpants?"
• (Robert Barone) "Excuse me. I believe this is MY bed."
• (Ray Barone) "Yeah, I know. But when you get in bed with a guy, you -- put some pants on."

• (Robert Barone) "Is this about me?"

• (Debra Barone) "Ok, you know what? I'm tired of this. I'd rather be normal than this."
• (Debra Barone) "Ooh, dear how are you. Frosting in a can, so much easier than homemade. Look in that refrigerator. Whoa, smells like there wasn't anything good in here for a while."
• (Debra Barone) "Time for desert. Holy crap. I'm not listening anymore, doo dah, doo dah --"
• (Debra Barone) "Oh, everything's turning out perfect for Raymond."
• (Debra Barone) "Oh, lucky Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond. EVERYBODY loves Raymond. EVERYBODY LOVES Raymond. EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND."
• (Robert Barone) "Do me, now."

• (Debra Barone) "Honey, show daddy what you drew."
• (Ray Barone) "That's okay, I can figure it out."
• (Ray Barone) "Um, lets see. A big wall of red?"
• (Ally Barone) "No."
• (Debra Barone) "Ally told me that was a picture of you in hell."

• (Ray Barone) "This coming from the guy who once threw his shoe at a swan."
• (Frank Barone) "It's called protecting your sandwich."

• (Robert Barone) "I'm a cop and live with my parents. I'm on a constant diet of human suffering."

• (Ray Barone) "Not every family goes by on a conveyor belt, but mine does, because --"
• (Robert Barone) "Everybody loves Raymond."

• (Marie Barone) "This is the end of civilization. People like you don't wanna learn or do anything, because they're too busy with their remote control televisions, or playing with their hula hoops, and before you know it,"
• (Marie Barone) "that's where we're at."
• (Frank Barone) "Where the cookies at?"

• (Ray Barone) "Ok, Robert, you want to know the advantages of marriage? Fine -- There's -- Uh -- OK. Here. Got it. You know when you fall asleep and you stop breathing? When you're married, there's always somebody there to nudge you back to life -- That's not a good example. Ok --"
• (Robert Barone) "Ray --"
• (Ray Barone) "No. I got this. Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up- she's there. You come back from work- she's there. You fall asleep- she's there. You eat dinner- she's there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing. But, it's not."
• (Ray Barone) "Not- Not if it's the right person."
• (Frank Barone) "I'd like a minute for rebuttal."

• (Ray Barone) "Nothing is ever good enough, and it's always our fault."
• (Frank Barone) "Hey, you can't speak to your mother like that."
• (Ray Barone) "You do."
• (Frank Barone) "She's not my mother."

• (Robert Barone) "It's nice to be important. But it's more important -- to be nice."

• (Ray Barone) "Let's try and get it spot free. This isn't like at home where I let that stuff slide."

• (Robert Barone) "Never be afraid to pull the trigger, on your smile."

• (Frank Barone) "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Peaches."

• (Frank Barone) "You know, Robert gets the jealousy thing from me."
• (Ray Barone) "Oh, yeah?"
• (Frank Barone) "Yeah, one time I drove my fist through a Cadillac, on account of your mother."
• (Ray Barone) "Really?"
• (Frank Barone) "Yeah. She started talking about marriage, and I told her to go to hell. I remember hearing through the grapevine, that your mother was going to have dinner at Chuck Pacarello's. Now, your mother's cooking, that's something -- special. And, I figured, she was only gonna cook like that for me. So, I went to Chuck Pacarello's and punched the headlights off of his car. I spent the night in the hospital, picking glass out of my arm."
• (Ray Barone) "Wow, dad, I never thought there was a story like that behind you and mom. It's almost romantic."
• (Frank Barone) "Yeah, I know. I don't tell that story a lot, though."
• (Ray Barone) "How come?"
• (Frank Barone) "Because it doesn't have a happy ending."

• (Ray Barone) "I wish I were Einstein cause then I'd invent a time machine and go back to when you were nice."

• (Marie) "I remember it from the tub."

• (Marie Barone) "I don't like that."

• (Debra Barone) "It's your life. You do what you want to do."
• (Ray Barone) "Until you're married -- then you do what SHE wants you to do."

• (Ray Barone) "Hence all the hullabaloo."

• (Frank Barone) "Holy crap."

• (Ray Barone) "You can't create fate cause then its not fate, its voodoo."

• (Ray Barone) "I guess I am going to be out of commission for a while."
• (Debra Barone) "I wouldn't worry; it's not like Van Gogh has lost his paint brush."

• (Frank Barone) "Maybe that's why I like animals. Woof. Moo. Quack. They tell it like it is."

• (Frank Barone) "I'm sorry the check got stuck to the chubby hubby."
• (Marie Barone) "Oh Frank. You've never said that to me before."
• (Robert Barone) "No one's ever said that before."

• (Frank Barone) "What in the holy name of crap are you talking about?"

• (Marie Barone) "Your sons are hugging."
• (Frank Barone) "I'll get the hose."

• (Marie Barone) "You're giving him back that money."
• (Frank Barone) "Like hell, I am. I want to teach him a lesson. You up the stakes, you lose a lot. You play with matches and you get burned."
• (Frank Barone) "AND, THANK YOU, COME AGAIN."

• (Robert Barone) "All I wanted was a place where people would care about me."
• (Marie Barone) "You have that here, you stupid ass."

• (Marie Barone) "You think that's any different from what you really sound?"

• (Marie Barone) "Frank do you love me?"
• (Frank Barone) "YOU STILL NEED REASSURANCE, AFTER 45 YEARS OF BONDAGE?"

• (Frank Barone) "I don't even understand one word you're saying anymore. Yesterday, why the hell did you call me "dog"?"
• (Robert Barone) "It's a good thing. It means I like you."
• (Frank Barone) "I see. In that case, from this day on I'm calling you "jackass". That's also a sign of affection."
• (Frank Barone) "Hey, ugly."
• (Ray Barone) "What the hell was that for?"
• (Frank Barone) "It's "Robert Talk". It means you're good-looking."
• (Frank Barone) "Hey, good-looking."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.