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Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager Quotes

Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Dwight K. Schrute, stopped airing in 1970.

Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager Quotes

  • (Dwight Schrute) "Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's The Fist?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "It's just a social club. Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "Nope, social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist."
  • (Jim Halpert) "And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything."
  • (Jordan Garfield) "Toby got bitten by a spider, but he seems stronger than ever."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Keep tabs on that."
  • (Jordan Garfield) "Phyllis was selling a bunch of beet futures."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Did she say why?"
  • (Jordan Garfield) "No. Oscar was on some geological Web site, checking into the seismic pressure under the building, which had increased to 39.5."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "39.5?"
  • (Jordan Garfield) "Is that a problem?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Oh, gee, I don't know, is a mega-volcano a problem? God, this day."
  • (Jordan Garfield) "Hey, Jim."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Hey."
  • (Jordan Garfield) "What are you doing?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "Just trying to process this invoice by 3:00. What are you doing?"
  • (Jordan Garfield) "I am making a list for Dwight on what everyone's secretly up to."
  • (Jim Halpert) "No, you're not. 'Cause I'm doing that."
  • (Jordan Garfield) "Don't you have a deadline?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "Well, it's not all about deadlines, Jordan."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Does "gorilla" have two "R's"?"
  • (Jordan Garfield) "The animal or the soldiers?"
  • (Jim Halpert) "Both, actually."
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Erin, I am in love with you. I don't believe in much, okay? I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. I sure as hell don't believe in God."
  • (Kelly Erin Hannon) "What?"
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Or maybe there's a God, I don't know. It's just not a guy with a long, white beard."
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Or it could be. It's possible that is exactly what God is. But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. I believe in love. You have made me believe that for all of the hokum out there --"
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Do we not have voicemail?"
  • (Kelly Erin Hannon) "Dwight doesn't trust robots to give us our messages."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Yee-haw. Woo-hoo."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Howdy, partners. It's me, Gun Safety Dwight. And I'm the rootin'-est --"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I can't do this. Um, look, obviously a gun went off under my watch and I'm launching a full investigation."
  • (Stanley Hudson) "We all saw you do it."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also be never less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life, because I am manager of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. Acting manager."
  • (Jim Halpert) "All in favor of the baskets full of chocolates, teddy bears, and ballons."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Wait, wait. All in favor of the knapsack filled with canned goods, chainsaw, gasoline and emergency radio in case he wakes up post-apocalypse."
  • (Jim Halpert) "Nope. Baskets have it."
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Are you still in love with Erin?"
  • (Andy Bernard) "What?"
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Because I am. I need to get her back. I can't be alone anymore."
  • (Gabe Lewis) "Andy, do you like being alone with me right now?"
  • (Andy Bernard) "No, this is horrifying."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Jo is coming later today. I cannot have a subordinate trying to make me look stupid. Okay? I need you to promise me you'll be on your best behavior."
  • (Jim Halpert) "I promised other people that I would be on my worst behavior. And I gave them my word, so --"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Don't make me fire you."
  • (Jim Halpert) "You can't fire me. You're acting manager, not office manager, so you have no firing powers."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Don't make me pre-fire you."
  • (Jim Halpert) "You wouldn't dare."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Watch this. You're pre-fired. And when I'm promoted, you'll be full-fired."
  • (Jim Halpert) "If you get promoted. And if you haven't fallen in love with me by then."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "What?"
  • (Toby Flenderson) "I am supposed to collect eyewitness accounts. Who saw Dwight do this?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Okay, really?"
  • (Toby Flenderson) "Would you consider this a terrorist incident?"
  • (Ryan Howard) "I felt terrorized."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Come on."
  • (Toby Flenderson) "Oh. There's a whole other terrorism booklet for that."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "I just really, really think that we should handle this internally."
  • (Ryan Howard) "Dwight, why is it on us to protect you?"
  • (Dwight Schrute) "Because you guys are my best friends. And I mean that. Managing you for this last week has been the greatest honor of my life. And if you ruin this, I will burn this office to the ground."
  • (Dwight Schrute) "And I mean that figuratively, not literally. Because you guys are so, so important to me. I love you guys, but don't cross me, but you're the best."

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