Drug Testing (The Office) Quotes

Drug Testing (The Office) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Drug Testing ended its run in 1970.

Drug Testing (The Office) Quotes

• (Michael Scott) "I went to an Alicia Keys concert over the weekend. And I think I might have gotten high accidentally by a girl with a lip ring."

• (Dwight Schrute) "I want him to have all the urine he needs."

• (Dwight Schrute) "I like the people I work with, generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime, and I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven't."

• (Jim Halpert) "You look cute today, Dwight."
• (Dwight Schrute) "Thanks, girl."

• (Pam Beesley) "Jim cannot speak until he buys me a Coke. Those are the rules of Jinx and they are unflinchingly rigid."

• (Jim Halpert) "So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot, which is unfortunate, because, as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs."

• (Dwight Schrute) "I didn't know that you were at a party on Saturday night."
• (Ryan Howard) "I go to a lot of parties."
• (Dwight Schrute) "Okay, I'm gonna need to search your car. Give me your keys."
• (Ryan Howard) "I am not giving you my keys."
• (Dwight Schrute) "Don't make me do this the hard way."
• (Ryan Howard) "What's the hard way?"
• (Dwight Schrute) "I go down to the police station on my lunch break. I tell a police officer, I know several, what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here, and make you give him the keys to your car and you will have to obey him."
• (Ryan Howard) "Yeah, let's do it that way."

• (Dwight Schrute) "Have you ever pooped a balloon?"
• (Oscar) "Okay, I'm done with this."
• (Dwight Schrute) "He sure left in a hurry."

• (Jim Halpert) "I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you."
• (Dwight Schrute) "That's ridiculous. Of course it wasn't me."
• (Jim Halpert) "Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember."
• (Dwight Schrute) "I would remember."
• (Jim Halpert) "Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?"
• (Dwight Schrute) "That's not how it works."
• (Jim Halpert) "Now, how do you know how it works?"
• (Dwight Schrute) "Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you."
• (Jim Halpert) "No. You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?"

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