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Down with Love Quotes

Down with Love is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Down with Love ended its run in 1970.

It features Plain list, * Dan Jinks; Bruce Cohen as producer, Marc Shaiman in charge of musical score, and Jeff Cronenweth as head of cinematography.

Down with Love is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Down with Love is 101 minutes long. Down with Love is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Renée Zellweger as Barbara Novak, Ewan McGregor as Catcher Block, Sarah Paulson as Vickie Hiller, David Hyde Pierce as Peter MacMannus, Rachel Dratch as Gladys, and Tony Randall as Theodore Banner.

Down with Love Quotes

Sarah Paulson as Vickie Hiller

  • (Sarah Paulson) "I don't get it. How could a person lose their built-in bar?"
  • (Sarah Paulson) "The men who resent my success won't give me the time of day, and the men who respect my success won't give me the time of night."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "If you give me the chance, I'd respect you and resent you day and night, and night and day."
  • (Sarah Paulson) "At the risk of sounding like my mother, just stay perfectly still and let him get it over with."
  • (Sarah Paulson) "At one point, I had even convinced myself that life was all one big zany sex comedy and you had switched keys with the lead to use his swinging pad to snare me."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "I did. I did switch keys with the lead."
  • (Sarah Paulson) "This is the first time I've lost a future with a man before we've had time to have a past."
  • (Sarah Paulson) "So you're a homosexual hopelessly in love with Catcher Block, that's no reason the two of us can't be married."

Rachel Dratch as Gladys

  • (Rachel Dratch) "The only man who could have his way with me now is Milton Hershey."

Renée Zellweger as Barbara Novak

  • (Renée Zellweger) "I'm not gonna storm out of here, Catch. And I'm not gonna admit that you got Barbara Novak to fall in love -- because I'm not Barbara Novak. There is no Barbara Novak."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Huh?"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "And I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin. I fell in love with Catcher Block. And that was a year ago, when for three and a half weeks, I worked as your secretary. I don't expect you to remember me. I wasn't a blond then. But you did ask me out. And it broke my heart to say no, but I loved you too much. I couldn't bear to become just another notch in your bedpost. With your dating habits, I knew that even if I was lucky enough to get a regular spot on your rotating schedule -- I would never have your undivided attention long enough for you to fall in love with me. I knew I had to do something to set myself apart. I knew I had to quit my job as your secretary -- and write an international best-seller controversial enough -- to get the attention of a New York publisher as well as "KNOW" magazine -- but insignificant enough that as long as I went unseen, "KNOW" magazine's star journalist would refuse to do a cover story about it. I knew that every time we were supposed to meet, you would get distracted by one of your many girlfriends and stand me up -- and this would give me a reason to fight with you over the phone -- and declare that I wouldn't meet with you for a hundred years. And then all I would have to do was be patient and wait -- the two or three weeks it would take for everyone in the world to buy a copy of my best-seller; and then I would begin to get the publicity I would need for you -- to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see me denounce you in public as the worst kind of man. I knew that this would make you wanna get even by writing one of your exposés. And in order to do that, you would have to go undercover, assume a false identity and pretend to be the kind of man who would make the kind of girl I was pretending to be fall in love. And I knew that since I was pretending to be a girl who would have sex on the first date you would have pretend to be a man who wouldn't have sex for several dates. And in doing so, we would go out on lots of dates to all the best places and all the hit shows until finally, one night, you would take me back to your place; that you were pretending was someone else's; in order to get the evidence you needed to write your exposé -- by seducing me until I said, "I love you." But saying "I love you" was also my plan. I just wanted to tell you the truth so that when you heard me say, "I love you" you would know that I knew who you were, and you would know who I was. Then you, the great Catcher Block, would know that you'd been beaten at your own game -- by me, Nancy Brown, your former secretary. And I would have, once and for all, set myself apart from all the other girls you've known, all those other girls that you never really cared about, by making myself someone like the one person you really love and admire above all others: you. Then, when you realized that you had finally met your match -- I would have at last gained the respect that would make you wanna marry me first and seduce me later."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "I just wanted you to hear all this from me before you heard it from your private eye."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "I'd like to get to know you better."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "How much better?"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "All the way better."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Well, I can't know you all the way better till I know you much, much better"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Do you feel you know me well enough for me to buy you a drink?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I sure could go for a Tang."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "This is Barbara Novak."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Oh, I'd like to Zip, really, I would. But just the fact that I'd like to give you another chance is the very reason I absolutely must not. Goodbye, Zip"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Ok, one more chance. I'll just um -- say goodnight, and goodbye."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Another ruse, Catcher? You know I have no interest in seeing you."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "But you know you have to, and you know I know you have to. I'm sure you know how things are at KNOW ever since your new NOW."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "I have no way of knowing how things are now at KNOW. I knew how things were at KNOW before NOW."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Then you should know now at KNOW things are a lot like they are at NOW, we have to interview every applicant for every job, and so do you or you'd be going against NOW's definition of discrimination and you wouldn't want the readers of NOW or KNOW to know that, now would you?"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Have a seat, Mr. Block."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "I've never seen anything so beautiful."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Neither have I."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "But you're not even looking through the telescope."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I know."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Have a candy bar for your trouble, and thanks again for thinking of us."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "But I'm always thinking of you, Miss Novak. I can't stop thinking of you, and I'd like you to reconsider considering me."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Even at a pay cut of 96.6%?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "It's only money. Besides, I've been on top so long I thought it might be nice to try a new position"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "And you think you could be comfortable in a position under a woman?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I look forward to it. Starting at the bottom, working my way up slowly to the top."

Ewan McGregor as Catcher Block

  • (Ewan McGregor) "Well then, let's get to bed -- I'll call you a taxi."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Taxi?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "-- Oh. When I said "bed," you thought I meant -- bed."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Can you keep a secret?"
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Yes."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Me too."
  • (Unnamed) "Ask me why I mourn."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Why do you mourn, baby?"
  • (Unnamed) "I mourn because you are shrouded in the suit and tie that Madison Avenue will bury you in alive."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Well, if it will cheer you up, you can help me out of it."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Earth still is my favourite planet."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I'm so sorry, Miss Novak, the darndest thing. I got waylaid by the sweetest Swedish Lapphund who kept me up half the night, and I'm afraid I'm still in bed."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "My, you do get way laid."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "You see Lola shakes her maracas and Rosa bounces her bongo's while Nina is all hands. 120 words a minute."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "The story? It's written? Whoa, Catch. But is it safe to print? NASA is gonna blow its stack."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Well, they forgave Germany. They can forgive us."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Here, this'll put hairs on your chest. Not that I would want that."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "Mmm-hmm."
  • (Unnamed) "Here's to love."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "But this "Down with love"-chick is too busy? Doing what? Eating chocolate?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I never once said a word about Nancy Brown, and the only prize I wanted to win, was you. Crazy, isn't it? After all our tricking each other and our game playing, I'm the one with the love letter and you're the one with the scoop. Still, I'll keep my eyes on the billboards."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I love you, Barbara."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "I know."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "It doesn't take a Nazi rocket scientist to figure that out."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I don't care about sex anymore. I just want to get married."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Well me too. But fat chance now."

David Hyde Pierce as Peter MacMannus

  • (David Hyde Pierce) "What would you say is the average length, for most men?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "How would I know? You think I spend all my time in the locker room at the club making a comparative study?"
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Let me see yours again, then. We could measure. I'll get a ruler."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Better make it a yardstick."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Let's be accurate. Make sure you've got it fully extended. Have it up the whole way."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "It stays up all the way, all day long, man. That's the miracle I was telling you about: better living through chemistry. You got -- 16 inches."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "16 inches. How long does a man's hose have to be?"
  • (Ewan McGregor) "That's 32 inches of confidence in every step. Don't forget; I've got two of 'em."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "4,000,000 women in the naked city, and the one you let get away, the one you had to get on the bad side of, is the one all the other 4,000,000 are listening to."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Then I see this. "Item. KNOW's Magazine Star; Journalist, Catcher Block; Ladies' Man, Man's Man, Man About Town; was seen leaving the Copa last night with a doggie bag and three girls from the floor show.""
  • (Ewan McGregor) "I took the Bossa Nova Triplets to Cocoa Beach. NASA was throwing a luau."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Well, I hope you're happy. Because unless you found Nazis at your luau, you're fired."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "There were Nazis hiding at your luau. I knew it."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Catch, you are the best friend a guy with twenty diagnosed neuroses ever had."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "Oh, we've been friends a long time -- I knew you when you only had twelve."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Where's my geisha? I need my shoes."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "It's not like Catch to be late."
  • (Renée Zellweger) "No, he usually calls to cancel right on time --"
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "We Americans? Why? Nazis are bad; we're good."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "I think Vickie was only talking about marriage so I'd wanna have sex with her. And then I did, and now she never talks to me, except to come back for more. And I always give in. I feel so used."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "She's thrown away everything you've sent her; flowers, chocolates, a $6000 Celestron telescope that wasn't yours to send because it was mine."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "You're fired."
  • (Ewan McGregor) "No I'm not."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Oh, Yes you are."
  • (David Hyde Pierce) "Crush her, squash her. If not for the sake of civilization, then just for me."

Tony Randall as Theodore Banner

  • (Tony Randall) "You're my creative team, create a reason to get rid of her or I'll create a new creative team."

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