Dennis Miller Live Quotes

Dennis Miller Live is a television show that debuted in 1994 on HBO. Dennis Miller Live completed its run in 2002.

Dennis Miller Live aired for 215 episodes.

Dennis Miller Live is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Dennis Miller Live is 30 minutes long.

Dennis Miller Live Quotes

• (Unnamed) "Guess what, folks? That's the news, and I am out of here."

• (Unnamed) "Amtrak announced this week that they plan to install cable TV into their sleeper births. Great. So now you can watch your derailment live on CNN."

• (Unnamed) "If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children."

• (Unnamed) "Al D'Amato is a waste of an apostraphe."

• (Unnamed) "Alright, what's new in the world this week?"

• (Unnamed) "They say life begins at 50. Yeah, if you're the f***in' Highlander."

• (Unnamed) "Alright we got three on this one;"
• (Unnamed) ""Hey man, pull over, I gotta use the sandbox." Or, "Burt Reynolds got a new hairpiece this week." Or, "HELMETS are for PUSSIES.""

• (Unnamed) "How ironic that masturbation was the topic that caused you to get fired from Washington by a bunch of jagoffs."

• (Unnamed) "While George W. Bush is speaking in Michigan about the economy, governor John Engler shows his assistant how much bacon he wants on his BLT."

• (Unnamed) "Of course that's just my opinion, I could be wrong."

• (Unnamed) "Cheez Whiz is not something you eat, it's something you consult a urologist over."
• (Unnamed) "You'll never eat it again, will you?"

• (Unnamed) "William Kelly, the founder of the Kelly Girl temp service, has died this week. His last words were, "Hey, could somebody please sign my time card?""

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.