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Dear Dad Quotes

Dear Dad is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Dear Dad completed its run in 1970.

Dear Dad Quotes

  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; we interrupt your sweet dreams to bring you the following nightmare."
  • (Klinger) "Sir, I've had a lot of experience in these matters."
  • (Charles) "I do not need the wisdom of your experience. I am not selling watches from the trunk of a car."
  • (Radar) "Whoa, did you know it's yesterday there?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Well, it's today here."
  • (B.J.) "It's always today here."
  • (Hawkeye) "Oh, yeah? What about tomorrow?"
  • (B.J.) "Good point."
  • (Hawkeye) "Ha, I wasn't born yesterday."
  • (Frank Burns) "Klinger, how dare you wear that hat while in uniform?"
  • (Klinger) "It's spring, sir."
  • (Radar) "Sir, there's someone waiting to see you."
  • (Henry Blake) "I was born with someone waiting to see me."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Colonel Blake, are you busy?"
  • (Henry Blake) "No -- I'm telling this mian's fortune by reading his bowels."
  • (Unnamed) "Due To circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today."
  • (Frank Burns) "Funny thing, war: never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy."
  • (Margaret) "We're lucky to be two of the few and not the many."
  • (Frank Burns) "I know, darling, and I love being both of us."
  • (B.J.) "Why don't you do us a favour, and break it in."
  • (Hawkeye) "War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "How do you figure, Hawkeye?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Sinners, I believe."
  • (Hawkeye) "Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them; little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander."
  • (Hawkeye) "Klinger, get back here as fast as you can. We want a few minutes before the party to beat the daylights out of you."
  • (Trapper) "How should I know? I dropped out of school to become a doctor."
  • (Margaret) "I am a woman, after all."
  • (Hawkeye) "Is that true, Frank?"
  • (Klinger) "50 more pounds, and I'm homeward-bound."
  • (Col. Potter) "You're going to eat you way to a discharge?"
  • (Klinger) "I call it "Food for Freedom"."
  • (Col. Potter) "I call it "Suicide by Salami"."
  • (Klinger) "I'll take my chances."
  • (Col. Potter) "Okay, when you can't get through that door, come see me."
  • (Klinger) "I'll be wearing a size 30, sir."
  • (Henry Blake) "Will you stop saying what I'm thinking?"
  • (Radar) "One of us has to."
  • (Radar) "I thought this stuff was supposed to make you feel better."
  • (B.J.) "No. It's supposed to make you feel nothing."
  • (Frank Burns) "I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot?"
  • (Cpl. Igor Straminsky) "See these fresh oranges? They don't grow on trees, you know."
  • (Frank Burns) "I wonder if I can say something useful?"
  • (Trapper) "I often wonder that too, Frank."
  • (Trapper) "I've never met a nurse that didn't register."
  • (Radar) "Will Scotch be all right for everybody, sir?"
  • (Henry Blake) "Yeah, fine, Radar; perfect."
  • (Radar) "Uh, I ran out of ice sir, so I used bourbon."
  • (Hawkeye) "Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of happy hour."
  • (Frank Burns) "Why don't you guys like me?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person."
  • (Frank Burns) "Aside from that."
  • (B.J.) "Well, there's your pimples."
  • (Frank Burns) "My pores won't close."
  • (Frank Burns) "All right, where's my razor?"
  • (Hawkeye) "Been shaving your legs again, Frank?"
  • (Frank Burns) "It's nice to be nice -- to the nice."
  • (Frank Burns) "I don't see why the American taxpayer has to pay for a wedding between these two pagans."
  • (Margaret) "They're not pagans, Frank. Everyone's going to be wearing clothes."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; incoming wounded. Out of the frying pan and into the O.R."
  • (Hawkeye) "Boy, did his draft board go crazy."
  • (Colonel Flagg) "I could kill you with one finger."
  • (Trapper) "Take a walk, Frank."
  • (Hawkeye) "Yeah, take a major walk."
  • (Frank Burns) "The men hate me, don't they?"
  • (Radar) "Just your guts, sir."
  • (Dr. Sidney Freedman) "I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist."
  • (Frank Burns) "Attention all Allied personnel. There are only about half a dozen stars visible, sky-wise. I am directly under the brightest one."
  • (Hawkeye) "Very good, Frank."
  • (B.J.) "They'll start looking for us in Bethlehem."
  • (Col. Potter) "Please excuse these two, they're themselves today."
  • (Frank Burns) "It's the way these yellow devils think. It's burned into their brains. Kill Americans, kill, kill. They don't respect human life the way we do. I'd like to take him out and shoot him."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to the shortage of oil and wood, tonight's movie will be burned at 1800."
  • (Charles) "Where is that Lebanese mongoose?"
  • (Colonel Flagg) "You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me."
  • (Margaret) "Oh, Frank. You're so above average."
  • (Charles) "Hunnicutt, I've known a lot of people in my life. You are not among them."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Colonel, an ambulance has turned over in the compound, you better come on the double."
  • (Col. Potter) "Anybody hurt?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "Well, the driver's a bit shaken-up, but he'll be all right."
  • (Col. Potter) "No-one else inside?"
  • (Father Mulcahy) "No."
  • (Col. Potter) "Thank God."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "I already did."
  • (Frank Burns) "I'm taking this to a higher authority."
  • (Trapper) "Aw, Frank -- you're not going to write your mother again."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, today's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 in the morning -- And midnight has been canceled."
  • (Hawkeye) "Insanity is just a state of mind"
  • (Henry Blake) "Do we have enough sherry and ginger-ale for the General?"
  • (Radar) "Oh, nobody does, sir."
  • (Henry Blake) "Oh, fine then, if nobody does we don't have to, but make sure we do, just in case we don't."
  • (Hawkeye) "How much of this can a man take? We must have seen this picture twelve times in the last month. Its a recurring nightmare with popcorn."
  • (Charles) "Klinger, you are a gentleman and a lady."
  • (Frank Burns) "Spontaneity has its time and its place."
  • (Hawkeye) "Did anyone ever tell you, you have the voice of a songbird slowly drowning in tar?"
  • (Frank Burns) "I love it here."
  • (Col. Potter) "Either you or Klinger is nuts. Now I have to figure out which one."
  • (Margaret) "Act like a man, you sniveling twerp."
  • (Frank Burns) "Margaret, can't we please talk about this?"
  • (Margaret) "Remove your hand or I'll zap you with my knee."
  • (Hawkeye) "Margaret, I'm honored, touched -- and aroused."
  • (Radar) "My own father didn't have me until he was 63, and the first time we played peek-a-boo together he had a stroke."
  • (Henry Blake) "You two have gone over my head so many times I have athlete's scalp."
  • (Colonel Lambert) "Honest, true blue as the day is long, and about as interesting as a five-pound bag of fertilizer."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel -- the wounded you've all been waiting for has finally arrived in person -- report to the Big Top immediately; the circus is about to begin."
  • (Frank Burns) "You disgust me."
  • (Hawkeye) "You're right, Frank -- I discussed you with everyone I know and we all find you disgusting."
  • (Unnamed) "Hear ye, Hear ye, it's 0700 and all is hell. Incoming wounded, folks."
  • (Hawkeye) "You're a better nurse than I am, Gunga Din."
  • (Father Mulcahy) "You'd be surprised what a priest can get away with."
  • (Unnamed) "Attention, all personnel; this is your wake-up call."
  • (Henry Blake) "You're always wrong, Frank. That's what's so right about you."
  • (Frank Burns) "Courage is something you shouldn't be afraid to have."
  • (B.J.) "What's Frank up to?"
  • (Hawkeye) "I think he's vacuuming Korea. Eisenhower's coming; he wants everything just so."
  • (Hawkeye) "If you act drunk long enough, you get a REAL hangover."
  • (Henry Blake) "Frank, whatever it is, just write it down and put it on my desk where I can't find it."
  • (Frank Burns) "This is the last straw."
  • (Hawkeye) "Remind me to order more straws."
  • (Hawkeye) "Blow in my ear."
  • (Margaret) "What?"
  • (Hawkeye) "I'm so cold I think my pilot's gone out."

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