Dead Man on Campus Quotes

Dead Man on Campus is a television program that debuted in 1970 . Dead Man on Campus stopped airing in 1970.

It features Gale Anne Hurd as producer, Mark Mothersbaugh in charge of musical score, and John A. Thomas as head of cinematography.

Dead Man on Campus is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Dead Man on Campus is 96 minutes long. Dead Man on Campus is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Lochlyn Munro as Cliff, Corey Page as Matt, Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Cooper, Tom Everett Scott as Josh, Dave Ruby as Zeke, Poppy Montgomery as Rachel, and Randy Pearlstein as Buckley.

Dead Man on Campus Quotes

Corey Page as Matt

• (Corey Page) "My words in my sperm, spewing forth my tragic --"
• (Corey Page) "What the f*** do you two what?"
• (Tom Everett Scott) "Are you a musician?"
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Are you in a band?"
• (Corey Page) "Kiss -- My -- Arse."
• (Tom Everett Scott) "What?"
• (Corey Page) "That's the name of the bleeding band."
• (Tom Everett Scott) "Oh, you're gonna be playing the big pre-finals party."
• (Corey Page) "Yeah, that's right; if I'm still around."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "What do you mean?"
• (Corey Page) "And who the f*** are you? f***ing Kurt Loader."
• (Corey Page) "WOULD YOU PISS OFF AND SHUT MY f***ING DOOR."
• (Corey Page) "Piss off."
• (Tom Everett Scott) "Oh, Piss off."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "What the f*** does piss off mean?"

• (Corey Page) "Oh f*** me."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "What were you just doing?"
• (Corey Page) "What? Nothing."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Oh no, don't tell me nothing, you were just singing a show tune."
• (Corey Page) "You're crazy, I'd never do that."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You can't be suicidal if you're singing show tunes."
• (Corey Page) "I am suicidal."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You're not even depressed."
• (Corey Page) "Of course I'm depressed, look at me."
• (Corey Page) "I'm very f***ing depressed."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You f***ing poser."
• (Corey Page) "Hey man, I'm not a f***ing --"
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You're not even British."

Tom Everett Scott as Josh

• (Tom Everett Scott) "I'm not gonna commit suicide, if that's what you're thinking."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Aw come on Josh, you're f***ed anyway. At least this way, one of us comes out on top."
• (Tom Everett Scott) "Then you kill YOURself."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Naw, I just couldn't see that working."

• (Tom Everett Scott) "There's only one thing that can save you now."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "What? Valium?"
• (Tom Everett Scott) "No, studying. You need to study."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "What? You're insane."

Randy Pearlstein as Buckley

• (Randy Pearlstein) "If you see that guy, kick him in the balls."

Dave Ruby as Zeke

• (Dave Ruby) "This is my brother's Ritalin. Ritalin's good for studying math or science, just don't try to write English papers on it or it won't make any sense. Enjoy that."

Lochlyn Munro as Cliff

• (Lochlyn Munro) "My name is Cliff, brother of Joe. I got me some crack. I want me some hoes."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "who wants to do a bong -- how about you"

• (Lochlyn Munro) "Zeke."
• (Dave Ruby) "Cliff."
• (Lochlyn Munro) "How you been man? I haven't seen you since high school."
• (Dave Ruby) "I-I thought you were dead."
• (Lochlyn Munro) "No. But about THIS close though."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "Do you guys ever get really horny?"
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Depends where you're going with this."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "That one's not beer."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "They hate it when you do this."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "Whoa. Which one of you painted this?"
• (Poppy Montgomery) "Uhh -- I did."
• (Lochlyn Munro) "It's soooo smooth."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "I live in a Frat House, right? And these f***ers wanna kick me out for not observing quiet hour."
• (Lochlyn Munro) "Well, they can SUCK my QUIET COCK."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "Come on man. Just kick me in the junk."

• (Lochlyn Munro) "I really shouldn't be driving, I have a suspended license."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Really? For what?"
• (Lochlyn Munro) "Attempted vehiclular manslaughter -- whatever the f*** that means."

Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Cooper

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "I need my Jimmy."
• (Tom Everett Scott) "No Jimmy, repeat: no Jimmy."

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Young man. Where have you been? I was up all night worried sick. Do you know what time it is?"
• (Tom Everett Scott) "I LOVE college. I love everything about it. The people, the freedom. This room. This chair. Look at this chair."
• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You had sex last night didn't you?"
• (Tom Everett Scott) "That's a nice shirt."

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "I can hear my heartbeat through my penis."

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "My father's right. I'm a f***-up. I'm a total f***-up. You may be having this little holiday in f***-up Land, but I live here permanently."

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "You can't be suicidal if you're singing show tunes."

• (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) "Here's your dildo."

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