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Criminal Minds (season 1) Quotes

Criminal Minds is a TV program that was first aired in 2005 on CBS. Criminal Minds ended its run in 2006.

Criminal Minds was on for 22 episodes.

The cast includes: Shemar Moore as Man, Matthew Gray Gubler as Dr. Spencer Reid, Kirsten Vangsness as Penelope Garcia, Shemar Moore as Derek Morgan, Kirsten Vangsness as Garcia, Lola Glaudini as Elle Greenway, Thomas Gibson as Sean Hotchner, and Mandy Patinkin as Jason Gideon.

Criminal Minds Quotes

Matthew Gray Gubler as Dr. Spencer Reid

  • (Special Agent Derek Morgan) "So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the physics mistakes?"
  • (Matthew Gray Gubler) "Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors."
  • (Special Agent Derek Morgan) "Right."

Shemar Moore as Derek Morgan

  • (Shemar Moore) "Hey, Baby Girl"
  • (Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner) "This is Special Agent Dr. Reid."
  • (Shemar Moore) "Oh, you look too young to have gone to medical school."
  • (Matthew Gray Gubler) "They are Ph.D.'s, three of them."
  • (Shemar Moore) "What, are you a genius or something?"
  • (Matthew Gray Gubler) "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute."
  • (Matthew Gray Gubler) "Yes, I'm a genius."

Kirsten Vangsness as Penelope Garcia

  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "That's him."
  • (Lola Glaudini) "THAT'S Aaron Hotch's brother?"
  • (Jennifer "JJ" Jareau) "Sorry, I just don't see it."
  • (Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner) "Sean, all I'm saying is, you're 25 years old. It's normal for people in your position to seek alternatives --"
  • (Thomas Gibson) "You know what? DON'T profile me Aaron."
  • (Jennifer "JJ" Jareau) "Now, I can see it --"
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "Oracle of Quantico; speak if you deign to hear truth."
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "You've got a problem. Deadbolt's the number one password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password."
  • (Shemar Moore) "I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius."
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "Well, gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Frickin' Bad."
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "Fount of all Knowledge, check my flow."
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "All hail the goddess of information."
  • (Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner) "How's it having Gideon around?"
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "You can have him back whenever you would like."
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "Rainmaker, how wet do you want it?"
  • (Kirsten Vangsness) "Office of Unfettered Omniscience; how may I help you, O fortunate one?"

Mandy Patinkin as Jason Gideon

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Lola Glaudini as Elle Greenway

  • (Cheryl Davenport) "This job -- how do you stomach it?"
  • (Lola Glaudini) "The people I go after are cowards. They often prey upon the weaker members of society, such as women and children. There is nothing I would rather do than put the bastards away."
  • (Lola Glaudini) "Dude."
  • (Shemar Moore) "Dude? You're way too tense."

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