Coup de Torchon Quotes

Coup de Torchon is a TV program that was first aired in 1970 . Coup de Torchon ended in 1970.

It features Henri Lassa as producer, Philippe Sarde in charge of musical score, and Pierre-Wiliam Glenn as head of cinematography.

Coup de Torchon is recorded in French and originally aired in France. Each episode of Coup de Torchon is 128 minutes long. Coup de Torchon is distributed by Parafrance Films (France).

The cast includes: Jean-Pierre Marielle as Le Peron, Philippe Noiret as Lucien Cordier, Gérard Hernandez as Leonelli, Irène Skobline as Anne, Guy Marchand as Marcel Chevasson, Jean Champion as Priest, Isabelle Huppert as Rose, Samba Mané as Vendredi, François Perrot as Colonel Tramichel, Victor Garrivier as Marcaillou, and Daniel Langlet as Paulo.

Coup de Torchon Quotes

Isabelle Huppert as Rose

• (Isabelle Huppert) "Having you is an honor. Killing my husband for love."
• (Philippe Noiret) "No, I was just getting rid of trash. The trash also happened to be your husband."
• (Isabelle Huppert) "There's a lot of trash around."
• (Philippe Noiret) "There'll be less and less. Had to start somewhere."

• (Isabelle Huppert) "You have to help me. I can't take it. What can I do?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "How the hell do I know? Any idiot can see they were shot with your gun."
• (Isabelle Huppert) "But that's horrible."
• (Philippe Noiret) "At first it is horrible. But then you start to think about starving kids, little girls sold into slavery, women whose sex is sewn up -- God created murder out of pure kindness. Murder is nothing compared to those horrors."

• (Isabelle Huppert) "They say there are a hundred kinds of deaths. I hope yours will be the worst."

Philippe Noiret as Lucien Cordier

• (Philippe Noiret) "Can you excuse a pole for filling a hole? It may squash some rabbits, but is it the pole's fault if it fits that hole?"
• (Unnamed) "But a pole is an inanimate object."
• (Philippe Noiret) "Aren't we all more or less inanimate?"
• (Unnamed) "What do you mean?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "Who knows."

• (Philippe Noiret) "I'm exhausted, Rose."
• (Isabelle Huppert) "Sleep is all you do."
• (Philippe Noiret) "It's the best thing besides eating. When you eat or sleep, you forget about the things you can't solve. Think about it. You'll see I'm right."
• (Isabelle Huppert) "Thinking's not what I need."

• (Philippe Noiret) "Didn't your regiment squash the peanut pickers' revolt?"
• (Unnamed) "Sure did."
• (Philippe Noiret) "It sure took guts. All those niggers armed with clubs. And all you had was machine guns."

• (Philippe Noiret) "They say we are made in God's image though if that were true I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley."

• (Philippe Noiret) "I do things without thinking. Later I understand. I never plan ahead."

• (Philippe Noiret) "What are you hunting?"
• (Gérard Hernandez) "Nothing, jerk. We're shooting stiffs."
• (Jean-Pierre Marielle) "Doesn't bother them and it's fun for us. When dysentery's cured, we'll find a new sport."

• (Philippe Noiret) "I'm not a policeman, George. I'm Jesus Christ in person, sent here with a load of crosses, each bigger than the next."
• (Unnamed) "I see."
• (Philippe Noiret) "I try to save the innocent but there aren't any. All crimes are collective. We contribute to each other's crimes. We all shot your brother. And maybe I did a bit more than my share."

• (Philippe Noiret) "Better the blind man who pisses out the window than the joker who told him it was a urinal. Know who the joker is? It's everybody."

• (Philippe Noiret) "We all kill what we love."

• (Philippe Noiret) "You'll manage. I'm sure of that. You could make a mint just doing what you like best, which you do better than any woman I know. And since we'll probably never see each other again, I'll be glad to bang you one last time, even though you're a fugitive."

• (Philippe Noiret) "Do you know why dogs sniff each other's butts? When dogs still ruled the world, they held a convention to vote new laws. The head dog said: "I suggest that due to poor hygiene here, our assholes we leave at the door." The dogs agreed and de-assholed. But just then, a tornado blew in and mixed all the assholes up. Not one dog recognized his own. Ever since, they smell each other's asses. And it'll go on till the end of time."

• (Philippe Noiret) "Do you know the question no one can answer? The big question?"
• (Unnamed) "Go ahead."
• (Philippe Noiret) "When you scratch your balls, is it 'cause they itch, or 'cause it feels good?"

• (Philippe Noiret) "What's wrong? You know I have to."
• (Samba Mané) "But Captain, I trusted you. You're different from other white men."
• (Philippe Noiret) "There's your mistake."

• (Philippe Noiret) "I can't read the aviator's book. It's too well-written."
• (Irène Skobline) "You like sounding illiterate? You're not. So why?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "Habit. Grammar gets rusty like everything else if you don't use it. And in Africa the same goes for good and evil. What's good? What's evil? Nobody knows. It's not much use here. So it gets rusty too. Must be the climate."

• (Philippe Noiret) "We've got to laugh in this world, or else we'd shoot ourselves."

• (Philippe Noiret) "You kissed too much white ass. You asked to get fucked. This is what I do with friends like you."

• (Philippe Noiret) "Kicking a dying man isn't very nice. But first, I wanted to, and second, it's no risk. This hurts me more than you."

Jean-Pierre Marielle as Le Peron

• (Jean-Pierre Marielle) "You can always be bribed."
• (Philippe Noiret) "I've got no choice. First, I'm underpaid; second, my wife takes all my money; and third, fining you is practically a civic duty."

• (Jean-Pierre Marielle) "The brothel's throwing a party for the new colonel. Got any prisoners who can wait on table?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "You know I never arrest anyone unless I have to. I have enough troubles of my own."
• (Gérard Hernandez) "What good is an empty prison?"

François Perrot as Colonel Tramichel

• (François Perrot) "A last adieu to his master."
• (Isabelle Huppert) "He just wants to eat him. Right, Spot?"

Irène Skobline as Anne

Guy Marchand as Marcel Chevasson

• (Guy Marchand) "Next time your two pimps start up, kick 'em as hard as you can in the balls."
• (Philippe Noiret) "But that'll hurt a lot."
• (Guy Marchand) "You gotta have good shoes --"
• (Daniel Langlet) "-- with no holes in the toes."

• (Guy Marchand) "One shot kills thirst; two, worms; three, death."

• (Guy Marchand) "Where do you think they are now?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "In jail?"
• (Guy Marchand) "Someday you'll learn a coffin costs the state less than a man in a cell, old chum."

Jean Champion as Priest

• (Jean Champion) "You'll never arrest anybody. How can they respect you? You've got to show folks you're brave, honest, and hard-working. Here, hold this."
• (Philippe Noiret) "I can't."
• (Jean Champion) "Why not?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "First, because I'm not brave, honest, and hard-working, and second, because I don't think my bosses want me to be."
• (Jean Champion) "How come?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "If they wanted someone brave, honest, and hard-working, they wouldn't have hired me."

Victor Garrivier as Marcaillou

• (Victor Garrivier) "You gonna arrest me for clubbing a nigger?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "No, not exactly. The main thing is the board. Marcaillou The board? Lucien Cordier Yeah, covering that hole there. What if somebody fell in and broke his leg? It'd be your fault."
• (Victor Garrivier) "So?"
• (Philippe Noiret) "So, since nobody did, I'll let you off this time."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change, please fill in the form below.