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Click (2006 film) Quotes

Click (2006 film) is a television program that first aired in 1970 . Click completed its run in 1970.

It features Adam Sandler; Jack Giarraputo; Neal H. Moritz; Steve Koren; Mark O'Keefe as producer, Rupert Gregson-Williams in charge of musical score, and Dean Semler as head of cinematography.

Click (2006 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Click (2006 film) is 107 minutes long. Click (2006 film) is distributed by Columbia Pictures.

The cast includes: Kate Beckinsale as Donna Newman, Adam Sandler as Michael Newman, Christopher Walken as Morty, Rob Schneider as Prince Habeeboo, David Hasselhoff as Ammer, Cameron Monaghan as Kevin O'Doyle, Rob Schneider as Ted, Julie Kavner as Trudy, and Jennifer Coolidge as Janine.

Click (2006 film) Quotes

Adam Sandler as Michael Newman

  • (Adam Sandler) "Sorry I'm late. Some idiot in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Prince Habeeboo drive Red Lamborghini."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, did I say red Lamborghini? I meant blue Ferrari."
  • (Samantha at 14 Years Old) "I'm going to Derek's."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Whoa, whoa, whoa, who is Derek?"
  • (Samantha at 14 Years Old) "Uh, duh, my boyfriend, the hottest boy in school?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, he's gonna be really hot when I burn his house down."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ben, I promise you I'm going to finish the tree house and we are going to sleep in it next weekend. And you and I are going to exercise together and I'm not gonna wear a speedo."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Alright."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Samantha, is that you? When did you get boobs?"
  • (Samantha at 14 Years Old) "Same time you did, Dad."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Hey, look at Sundance wrestle his duck."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, no, that's not wrestling. That's -- Something you shouldn't know about for another 10 to 30 years. Ten for you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Thirty for you."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "Daddy, how much longer are you going to live?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "One minute."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "One minute?"
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "Daddy's gonna die in one minute?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Whoa. No no no, I'm not gonna die, okay? I'm gonna live -- 200 more years, is that long enough for you and me?"
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "You promise?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I promise."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Okay, Morty."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Family, family -- Family comes first."
  • (Ben Newman - Age 22-30) "Family comes first."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Honey -- honeymoon"
  • (Ben Newman - Age 22-30) "Honeymoon"
  • (Ben Newman - Age 22-30) "I love you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Samantha -- I didn't make it to 200 but I love you."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 27) "I love you, Daddy."
  • (Adam Sandler) "No no, no no,"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?"
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I thought I was already your partner."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Whoa, cowboy. I said "Land the Watsuhita account, you'll get promoted." I didn't mean right this second."
  • (Adam Sandler) "But I already told my wife, sir. I spent money I don't have. To do these documents is gonna take me months."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Then you better get started."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Wow, I just got a big headache. Wha; ? Was I hit by a train or something?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "I didn't see anything."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Oh, I forgot to tell you. I hung out with your friend Janine this weekend."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I hope she's doing your brother right now, you big-headed buffoon"
  • (Adam Sandler) "No, no, no, no. You got more."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Anyway, the sooner you ge; Get back to; Uh, work, they sooner you'll be partnerized. I taste s***."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You do?"
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Stacy. Did you put s*** in my lunch? Argh."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm gonna get going, sir."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Ugh. STACY."
  • (Adam Sandler) "How you doing, buddy? Playing some catch?"
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "Actually, we're playing some drop, 'cause Ben hasn't caught one yet."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Darn it."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ahh."
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "Ahh."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ho-ho. You're a regular Derek Jeter yourself, O'Doyle."
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "MOMMY."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Thank you, Mom for having me, I know it was a lot of pain."
  • (Julie Kavner) "You have no idea."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Samantha. One day, you are going to be the hottest chick in the world, but you still gotta have brains. So tomorrow, I'm going to teach you Calculus."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "You know Calculus?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Uh, I knew you'd call me on that, alright, your mother will teach you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That was great, son."
  • (Ping Woo) "You're not my dad."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Only as far as you know, kid."
  • (Ping Woo) "Are you really my dad?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You've gotta show me how you do the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy."
  • (Rob Schneider) "A good magician never reveals his secrets -- however, if you invite us over for dinner more often --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You can come over tomorrow night and the next night and the next night and whenever you want."
  • (Kirsten) "Do you need something, Mr. Newman?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Who are you?"
  • (Kirsten) "Kirsten -- your assistant?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Wha- Wha- What happen to Alice?"
  • (Kirsten) "She moved to Accounting, couldn't handle your hours."
  • (Kirsten) "And she prefers to be called Allen now, remember?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "No -- No. No."
  • (Adam Sandler) "WILL YOU GIVE ME A BREAK ONE TIME?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Twinkie. You don't need e'm. You don't need e'm. You do need a Yodel, though."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You sell any universal remotes here?"
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "For a shower curtain or a rug?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "For a TV."
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "Hm, I don't think so, how about a blanket?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You have a remote control for a blanket?"
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "Sorry dude, I don't really work here, I'm just waiting for my friends."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You're kidding."
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "Uh actually yes, I don't have any friends, will you be my friend?"
  • (Narrator of Michael's Past) "Once again, Michael left Donna in bed, confused and unsatisfied."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Shut up, James Earl Jones."
  • (Narrator of Michael's Past) "No. You shut up, bigmouth."
  • (Adam Sandler) "My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that."
  • (Julie Kavner) "It couldn't have gotten any smaller."
  • (Rob Schneider) "It looked like a little Tic Tac."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, come here. I'll freshen your breath."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Where am I?"
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "You're at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I was watching you sleep, you looked like you were having a crazy dream."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm back in the store?"
  • (Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy) "You're not supposed to lay on the beds, but, I do sometimes."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Grr -- Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, there's Barney."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What was going on here, huh?"
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "We thought you were sleeping, Daddy."
  • (Adam Sandler) "How can I sleep with two Twinkie burglers roaming around?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "No problem, sir, there'll be other Junes in my life."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I promise, I'm not going to work tonight, I'm going to stay home with you, and we're going to watch Dragon Tales."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "Yeah, let's go watch CSI."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Yeah. CSI."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "It's the one where they find the lady's arm."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I missed the whole Dragon Tales era?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, my God. Wolverine's goofy cousin."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Hey, Dad. Look at Kevin's new Robo-Dog."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's nice."
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "NICE? This thing's worth more than your car."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Not anymore it ain't."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Can I help you?"
  • (Ben Newman - at 17 Years Old) "Hey Dad."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Hey Dad? Ben? Look how big you got. You're enormous."
  • (Ben Newman - at 17 Years Old) "Look who's talking, Captain Twinkie of the SS Fat Ass. Really good for my self esteem. Maybe if you took me to Pilates like you said you would, people wouldn't think I was Rosie O'Donnell."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Come on Ben, I love you. Bring me back the Twinkies."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm on autopilot."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "'I'm on autopilot', more like auto-zombie."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Linger by the Cranberries was the song playing during our first kiss, and you looked so hot in that pink sweater."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Michael. You remember what I was wearing?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah, I remember what Janine was wearing, she scared the s*** out of me then."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Twinkie. Don't need it. You don't need it, man. You do need a Yodel, though. Good job."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I guess when you combine mass quantities of cough syrup with yodels -- you get acid."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Donna, I'm not out there drinking or gambling or hitting on chicks, I'm working my ass off so that my family can have a better life than I ever dreamed of having when I was a kid. And the only way for that to happen is for me to watch the freaking show. So relax, hon."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Aunt Peggy, is that you? God, you got old."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm just playing, she knows that."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's it. You're dead."
  • (Firecracker Teen #1) "Oh, s***."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's right. You better run. I kicked your father's ass in high school. So, now I'm gonna kick yours."
  • (Ping Woo) "I hate that man."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Change the channel."

Kate Beckinsale as Donna Newman

  • (Kate Beckinsale) "I have to sew the duck's head back on -- and fix his butthole."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "I know it's deviant -- but it's kinda turning me on."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Will you still love me in the morning?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Forever and ever, babe"
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "That's not bad for your third liposuction. One more tummy tuck should take care of it."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, it looks like a tongue -- licking."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Honey, you were so great."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Whoa, what are you, half a dolphin or something? That was incredible."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "You just got here, Dad. I saw you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What do you mean I just got here? Why are you saying that? I saw you. You jumped in there, you swam here."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "Then what stroke was he doing, Dad?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "He was doing the "shut-up"."

David Hasselhoff as Ammer

  • (David Hasselhoff) "Your first day as a partner, you come to work in a fricking bathrobe."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I; I did. I did. I; John, I just feel would should stop on wasting our energy on corporate brown nosing, and worrying who's got the better suit. Armani, Calvin Klein. Who cares? Let's concentrate on what really matters. The work."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. But god**** it, you're right."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Life-changing. I feel freer."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Yeah. Uh, keep the pants on."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Now, anyone can be a victim of sexual harassment: blue collar, white collar, a woman, a man -- even the office slut. No, not that I'm mentioning any names -- Stacy."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "I'm gonna be alone on the Fourth of July?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Mr. Ammer, if you need female companionship this weekend, my wife's friend, Janine, wow."
  • (David Hasselhoff) "Really? What's she like?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Let's just say, uh -- she will eat you up, sir."

Christopher Walken as Morty

  • (Christopher Walken) "I am the Angel of Death."
  • (Adam Sandler) "You bastard."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Check it out. You hit the fast-forward button. I believe we're sometime after your conception."
  • (Adam Sandler) "No. We're in my mother's vagina?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "Yes?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You scared the --."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Honey, what's going on down there?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "It's alright. I, uh --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "It was a mouse. I killed it. It's dead. But --"
  • (Adam Sandler) "It broke the table first."
  • (Adam Sandler) "How'd you get in here?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "I had a feeling you wanted to see me."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm freakin' out. This thing; this thing; it's broken. It-it's just; it's fast forwarding on its own now."
  • (Christopher Walken) "It's not a malfunction it's a feature. It's using it's memory to execute your preferences."
  • (Adam Sandler) "It remember's stuff about me? What do you mean?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "It's an advance piece of equipment like TiVo."
  • (Christopher Walken) "You could call it MeVo."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I fast forwarded through sex one time. I don't wanna skip it forever; I like sex. I-um-i-it-it feels good."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you fast forwarded through an entire year. That's a lot of sex. Put it all together, it's like -- thirty minute's worth for you."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, no, no. So what? Everything I fast forwarded it-it's just gonna do it on its own now?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "Pretty much. No more showering. No more traffic. No more arguing. No more sickness."
  • (Adam Sandler) "This is bad. This is bad. Here, you take it back."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I'm deactivating my service. I quit, I quit, I quit."
  • (Christopher Walken) "No, come on."
  • (Adam Sandler) "No, no, no. Thanks for everything, alright? But I;"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You -- this is not --"
  • (Christopher Walken) "Come on, don't be mean."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Nice hat."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Whoa. Is this a stick-up, or are you just happy?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, yeah? I'll take my clothes off. Then what's; ?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "I wouldn't do that if I were you. There's only one place left for it to pop up."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Something stinks like stale French fries."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh yeah, that's probably me."
  • (Christopher Walken) "You know, fast food shortens your life."
  • (Adam Sandler) "That's what they tell me, but the way my life's going right now, that wouldn't be so bad."
  • (Christopher Walken) "He was a good man. I'm sorry, Michael. I didn't want to take him."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "Michael, I'm an angel."
  • (Adam Sandler) "I thought angels were supposed to protect people."
  • (Christopher Walken) "I'm the Angel of Death."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Your mother must have had some good eyesight, 'cause -- I didn't see anything."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Oh, hardy har-har."
  • (Christopher Walken) "Consider the leprechaun."
  • (Adam Sandler) "What?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "The one in the cereal commercials."
  • (Adam Sandler) "'They're magically delicious'?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "That guy?"
  • (Christopher Walken) "He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes."

Cameron Monaghan as Kevin O'Doyle

  • (Cameron Monaghan) "What kind of stereo do you have in that blue piece of s***?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "You know, I never check, Kevin."
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "Yeah, well my father's stereo is a Bose."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad."
  • (Cameron Monaghan) "No. I said -- That's not what I said."
  • (Adam Sandler) "His father stereo blows. Wheee."

Rob Schneider as Prince Habeeboo

  • (Rob Schneider) "Benjamin, what do I have in my hand?"
  • (Julie Kavner) "A quarter."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Now, Grandma doesn't let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes."
  • (Julie Kavner) "True."
  • (Rob Schneider) "But she says nothing about a tasty quarter."
  • (Rob Schneider) "Alright, please, very quickly, count to 3, it tastes terrible. One --"
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Two, three."
  • (Julie Kavner) "Ahh."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Are you s***ting me?"
  • (Julie Kavner) "First he's eating like his father and now you're talking like him?"
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "Ben."
  • (Julie Kavner) "Don't you EVER say that again."
  • (Ben at 7-Years-Old) "Sorry, Grandma."
  • (Samantha Newman - Age 5) "HOW did you do that, Grandpa?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "A good magician NEVER reveals his secrets, your daddy's been wanting to know how I did it since he was your age."
  • (Rob Schneider) "It is simply awesome."
  • (Unnamed) "Still itchy?"
  • (Rob Schneider) "You got it"

Jennifer Coolidge as Janine

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Julie Kavner as Trudy

  • (Julie Kavner) "Benjamin, slow down, it's not a race."
  • (Julie Kavner) "It's his second one in five minutes, he's like a machine, he just keeps eating, he can't still be hungry."
  • (Kate Beckinsale) "He's not, he's just doing whatever Michael does. It's driving him nuts."
  • (Julie Kavner) "What Michael's been doing lately is very unhealthy, he's going to kill himself."
  • (Julie Kavner) "Uh uh uh, no cupcakes yet."
  • (Michael at 10 Years Old) "But I'm starving."
  • (Rob Schneider) "I know exactly how you feel, Michael, I'm so hungry, I could eat this quarter."
  • (Adam Sandler) "Ah, so THIS is where the quarter trick started."
  • (Christopher Walken) "How did he do that?"
  • (Adam Sandler) "It's a trick coin you buy in a magic shop, I just couldn't ever let him know I knew that."

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