Chicago (2002 film) Quotes

Chicago (2002 film) is a TV program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Chicago stopped airing in 1970.

It features Martin Richards (producer) as producer, Danny Elfman in charge of musical score, and Dion Beebe as head of cinematography.

Chicago (2002 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Chicago (2002 film) is 113 minutes long. Chicago (2002 film) is distributed by Miramax.

The cast includes: Susan Misner as Liz, Denise Faye as Annie, Deidre Goodwin as June, Catherine Zeta-Jones as Velma Kelly, Mýa as Mona, Renée Zellweger as Roxie, Queen Latifah as Matron Mama Morton, John C. Reilly as Amos Hart, Richard Gere as Billy Flynn, Christine Baranski as Ms. Sunshine, Lucy Liu as Kitty Baxter, Colm Feore as Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison, Taye Diggs as Bandleader, John C. Reilly as Amos, Renée Zellweger as Roxie Hart, Dominic West as Fred Casely, and Chita Rivera as Nickie.

Chicago (2002 film) Quotes

Taye Diggs as Bandleader

• (Taye Diggs) "And now, ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance."

• (Taye Diggs) "Miss Velma Kelly in an act -- of desperation"

• (Taye Diggs) "Five, six, seven, eight."

• (Taye Diggs) "Mr. Billy Flynn and the press conference rag. Notice how his mouth never moves -- almost."

Richard Gere as Billy Flynn

• (Richard Gere) "I don't care about expensive things / Cashmere coats, Diamond rings / Don't mean a thing / All I care about is love / That's what I'm here for."

• (Richard Gere) "My client feels that it was a combination of liquor and jazz that led to the downfall."

• (Richard Gere) "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but if Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today, and he had come to me and he had five thousand dollars, let's just say things would have turned out differently."

• (Richard Gere) "Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous, row after row will grow vociferous."

• (Richard Gere) "Would you please tell the audience -- err -- the jury what happened?"

• (Richard Gere) "Objection."
• (Judge) "Sustained."
• (Colm Feore) "Your Honor, I haven't even asked a question yet."

• (Richard Gere) "You are a phony celebrity. You're a flash in the pan. In a couple of weeks, no one's gonna give a s*** about you. That's Chicago."

• (Richard Gere) "I don't want ya to give a damn when people --"
• (John C. Reilly) "When people what?"
• (Richard Gere) "Laugh."
• (John C. Reilly) "Laugh? Why would they laugh?"
• (Richard Gere) "'Cause they can count. Can you count?"

• (Richard Gere) "Razzle dazzle them and they'll never catch wise."

• (Richard Gere) "This is Chicago, kid. You can't beat fresh blood on the walls."

• (Richard Gere) "Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot."

• (Richard Gere) "Miss Kelly, do you know the meaning of perjury?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Yes, I do"
• (Richard Gere) "You also know that it's a crime?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Yes"
• (Richard Gere) "For example, if you knew this diary was a fake, I'd hate to see you rot away in prison especially since you just won your freedom --"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Look, all I know is what I was told."
• (Richard Gere) "Oh, so you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "No. Mama; Miss Morton gave it to me. She said someone sent it to her"
• (Richard Gere) "Someone -- did she have any idea who this mysterious benefactor could be?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "No, she didn't know."

• (Richard Gere) "You're a phony celebrity and in two weeks no one's going to give a s*** about you -- that's Chicago."

• (Richard Gere) "You're a free woman, Roxie Hart. And God save Illinois."

• (Richard Gere) "Give 'em the old razzle dazzle. Razzle razzle 'em. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it and the reaction will be passionate."

• (Richard Gere) "This trial -- the whole world -- it's all -- show business."

Deidre Goodwin as June

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Catherine Zeta-Jones as Velma Kelly

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "She stole my garter."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "First she steals my publicity. Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. And now she steals my god**** garter."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop. My sister and I were headed straight for the top. My sister and I earned a thou a week at least, but my sister is now unfortunately deceased. I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact. And now all that remains is the remains of a perfect double act."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Oh, you're gonna see your sheba do the shimmy-shake -- And all that jazz. Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break -- And all that jazz. Show her where to park her girdle. Oh, her mother's blood'll curdle if she'd hear her baby's queer for All that jazz --"

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we're at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "I just can't take it anymore. You can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Oh no, Mama, not you, too."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose And all that jazz. Right up here is where I store the juice -- And all that jazz."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Me and Roxie would just like to say, thank you."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Thank you. Believe us, we could never have done it without you."
• (Renée Zellweger) "And all -- that -- jazz. That jazz."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "You wanted my advice, right? Well here it is. Don't forget Billy Flynn's number one client is -- Billy Flynn."
• (Renée Zellweger) "What's that supposed to mean?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "It means, don't let him hog the spot-light when you're the one they paid to see."

• (Bailiff) "Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "And then some."
• (Bailiff) "Take a seat."
• (Colm Feore) "Would you state your name for the record, please?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Velma Kelly."
• (Colm Feore) "Ms. Kelly, would you please tell the court if the object that I am holding is the one you happened to come across in the defendant's jail cell?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Yes, it is."
• (Colm Feore) "I submit this as Exhibit X; Roxie Hart's diary."
• (Richard Gere) "I object. My client has never held a diary. And even if she did, this would be -- invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and -- and illegal search without a warrant."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Yeah, AND she broke the lock."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "No I'm no one's wife, but oh, I love my life and all that jazz."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Come on, babe, we're gonna brush the sky. I betcha Lucky Lindy never flew so high 'cause in the stratosphere how could he lend an ear to all that jazz."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "She'd say, "What's your sister like?" I'd say, "Men.""

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Keep the change, Charlie."

• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "You wanted advice? Well here it is -- straight from me to you -- keep your paws off my underwear."

Renée Zellweger as Roxie

• (Renée Zellweger) "Mr. Flynn."
• (Richard Gere) "Someone open this door immediately."
• (Christine Baranski) "Oh, my God. Roxie. What is it, dear?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "Oh. Oh. Oh, no no no. Don't, don't worry about me. Oh, I only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby."
• (Queen Latifah) "Baby?"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "s***."

• (Renée Zellweger) "This dress makes me look like a Woolworths lamp shade. I'm not wearing this dress."
• (Richard Gere) "You're wearing cause I tell you too."
• (Renée Zellweger) "I'm not wearing it."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Fresh towels, for the can."
• (Unnamed) "Make it quick."

• (Renée Zellweger) "With just one more brain what a half-wit he'd be --"

• (Renée Zellweger) "I was born on a beautiful southern convent."
• (Queen Latifah) "What?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "Oh, holy s***. Oh, I'm never gonna get this straight."

• (Renée Zellweger) "you are a disloyal husband"

• (Renée Zellweger) "They LOVE me."
• (Richard Gere) "They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged. You know why? Because it would sell more papers."

• (Renée Zellweger) "And who incase she doesn't hang, can say she started with a bang -- Roxie Hart"

• (Renée Zellweger) "Thank you, ma'am."
• (Queen Latifah) "No, call me Mama. We're going to take care of you."

• (Renée Zellweger) "He ain't no sheik, that's no great physique, and lord knows he ain't got the smarts."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph."
• (Queen Latifah) "You're talking to the wrong people."

• (Renée Zellweger) "If they string me up, well, I'll know who brought the twine. That scummy, crummy, dummy hubby of mine."

• (Renée Zellweger) "I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard --"

• (Renée Zellweger) "Oh, Miss Kelly, got your personals. freshly pressed by yours truly."
• (Renée Zellweger) "No, no, it's my pleasure."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Hey, can i ask you something?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "You know that Harrison guy? Well he said what I done is a hangin' case and that he's prepared to ask for the maximum penalty."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Yea? So?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "So, I'm scared, I would really appreciate some advice, especially from someone I admire as much as you.You see, since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the stage."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Oh really? What's your talent? Washin' and dryin'?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "No, no, I danced in the chorus."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Oh."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Well, that was before I met my husband, Amos --"
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Look, honey, you want some advice? Well, here it is, direct from me to you. Keep your paws off my underwear, 'kay?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "Yeah, okay. Thanks."
• (Renée Zellweger) "For nothin'"

• (Renée Zellweger) "In the Bed Department, Amos was -- zero. I mean, he made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both, oh yes we both, oh yes we both reached for the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun. Oh, yes, we both reached for the gun, for the gun."

• (Renée Zellweger) "And then he shot off his trap -- man I can't stand that sap. Look at him go. Rattin on me."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Don't you wanna take my picture?"

• (Renée Zellweger) "I can't stand that sap."
• (John C. Reilly) "What a sap I was."

• (Renée Zellweger) "-- And Sophie Tucker will s*** I know, to see her name get billed below -- Roxie Hart."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Yeah, I killed him and I would kill him again. I would kill him again."
• (Colm Feore) "Once was enough, dearie. Take her downtown. Come on."

• (Renée Zellweger) "You're, THE Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Yeah? You and half of Chicago."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Say it again, Fred."
• (Dominic West) "You're a star, kid. My little shooting star."

• (Renée Zellweger) "It'll never work."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Why not?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "Because I hate you."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "There's only one business where that's no problem at all."

• (Renée Zellweger) "You can like the life you're living, you can live the life you like. You can even marry Harry, but mess around with Ike."

• (Renée Zellweger) "You want some advice, well here's a piece of advice from me to you, lay off the caramels."

• (Renée Zellweger) "Oooh,I'm a star, and the audience loves me -- and I love them. And they love me for loving them and I love them for loving me. And we love each other. And that's because none of us got enough love in our childhood. And that's showbiz -- kid."

• (Renée Zellweger) "You see, ever since I can remember, I've wanted to be on the stage."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Oh yeah? What's your talent; washing and drying?"

• (Renée Zellweger) "He was trying to burgle me."
• (Colm Feore) "From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month."

Queen Latifah as Matron Mama Morton

• (Queen Latifah) "If you want my gravy, pepper my ragout; Spice it up for Mama, she'll get hot for you."

• (Queen Latifah) "As you know I'm here to take care of you. Now if anything hurts you, or upsets you in any way -- don't run your fat ass mouth off to me cause I don't give a s***. Now move out."

• (Queen Latifah) "Sometimes you get a little success, and it's good riddance to who put you there."

• (Queen Latifah) "Hey, you must be that Hart girl."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Yes, m'am"
• (Queen Latifah) "Aren't you the pretty one."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Thank you m'am"
• (Queen Latifah) "Call me mama. Now don't worry 'cause we're gonna take care of you. You'll be staying on E-block. "Murderess Row" we like to call it."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Oh -- Is that nicer?"

• (Queen Latifah) "Ask any of the chickies in my pen; / They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother hen. / I love them all and all of them love me / Because the system works, / The system called "reciprocity"."

• (Queen Latifah) "In this town, murder's a form of entertainment."

John C. Reilly as Amos

• (John C. Reilly) "Cellophane. Mr. Cellophane shoulda been my name, Mr. Cellophane, 'cause you can look right through me, walk right by me and never know I'm there."

• (John C. Reilly) "Hope I didn't take up too much of your time."

Colm Feore as Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison

• (Colm Feore) "This is hanging case, and we're ready to go to in front of the jury tomorrow."
• (Renée Zellweger) "Wha-Wha-What do you mean hanging?"
• (Colm Feore) "You're not so tough now, are you?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "What do ya mean hanging?"

Susan Misner as Liz

• (Susan Misner) "Pop."
• (Denise Faye) "Six."
• (Deidre Goodwin) "Squish."
• (Hunyack) "Unh-uh."
• (Catherine Zeta-Jones) "Cicero."
• (Mýa) "Lipschitz."

Lucy Liu as Kitty Baxter

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Christine Baranski as Ms. Sunshine

• (Christine Baranski) "Are you sorry?"
• (Renée Zellweger) "Are you kidding?"

• (Christine Baranski) "As you know my paper is dry. Do you have any advice for girls who choose to avoid a life of jazz, and drink?"

Dominic West as Fred Casely

• (Dominic West) "Let's go, babe."
• (Renée Zellweger) "But I didn't even meet your friend. The one I was suppose to meet."
• (Dominic West) "It's ok, Roxie. It's all ready taken care of."
• (Renée Zellweger) "You told him about me?"

Denise Faye as Annie

• (Denise Faye) "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago and he told me he was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out. "Single" he told me. Single, my ass. Not only was he married -- oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

Chita Rivera as Nickie

• (Chita Rivera) "Ever have Morton before? Oh -- she's fine. As long as you keep her happy."

Mýa as Mona

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