Chasing Amy Quotes

Chasing Amy is a television show that debuted in 1970 . Chasing Amy ended its run in 1970.

It features Scott Mosier as producer, David Pirner in charge of musical score, and Dave Klein (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Chasing Amy is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Chasing Amy is 113 minutes long. Chasing Amy is distributed by Miramax Films.

The cast includes: Joey Lauren Adams as Alyssa, Ben Affleck as Holden, Jason Mewes as Jay, Dwight Ewell as Hooper, Jason Lee as Banky Edwards, Scott Mosier as Collector, Ben Affleck as Holden McNeil, Casey Affleck as Little Kid, Ethan Suplee as Fan, and Scott Mosier as Tory.

Chasing Amy Quotes

Ben Affleck as Holden

• (Ben Affleck) "We gotta beat that traffic, huh?"
• (Jason Lee) "What traffic? It's 1:30 in the morning."
• (Ben Affleck) "And rush hour starts in six hours. Let's go."

• (Silent Bob) "You're chasin' Amy."
• (Ben Affleck) "What? What did you say?"
• (Silent Bob) "You're chasing Amy."
• (Jason Mewes) "What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have some huge impact when he does open his f***in' mouth --"
• (Silent Bob) "Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time. You're givin' me a f***in' headache."
• (Silent Bob) "I went through something like what you're talking about, a couple years ago with this chick named Amy."
• (Jason Mewes) "When was this?"
• (Silent Bob) "A couple of years ago?"
• (Jason Mewes) "What, she live in Canada or something? How come I don't remember anyone with the name of Amy?"
• (Silent Bob) "Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand f***ing Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?"

• (Ben Affleck) "Oh no, here's the big test. Quick Stop."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "My best friend f***ed a dead guy in the bathroom."
• (Ben Affleck) "You know that girl?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I did, before she was committed."

• (Ben Affleck) "I want us to be something that we can't be."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "And what's that?"
• (Ben Affleck) "A normal couple."

• (Ben Affleck) "She's never even been with a guy."
• (Jason Lee) "That's what she says."

• (Ben Affleck) "So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?"
• (Jason Lee) "I dunno. Get a pizza, watch "Degrassi Jr. High"."
• (Ben Affleck) "You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama."
• (Jason Lee) "I got a weird thing for girls who say, "Aboot.""

• (Ben Affleck) "Alyssa from last night Alyssa?"
• (Dwight Ewell) "How do you begin and end a question with the same word like that? You got skill."

• (Ben Affleck) "How do you manage to get away with this all the time? I mean, shouldn't the cops be busting your head open right about now?"
• (Jason Lee) "Wrong coast."

• (Ben Affleck) "If this is a crush, I don't think I could take it if the real thing ever happened."

• (Ben Affleck) "Okay, I'm telling you, she's never even been with a guy, much less these two f***ing zeroes."
• (Jason Lee) "I'm telling you the bitch could be a bigger f***ing germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak."

• (Ben Affleck) "Sorry about him, he's, uh, he's dealing with being an inker."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Oh -- you trace."

• (Ben Affleck) "It all goes back to something my grandmother told me when I was a kid. "Holden," she said, "the big bucks are in dick and fart jokes." She was a church goer."

• (Ben Affleck) "They f***in' used you."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "No. I used them. You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't've wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake. Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a f***ing map at birth, so I tried it all. That is until we, that's you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated."

• (Ben Affleck) "You gotta respect that kind of display of affection, you know what I mean? Sure, it's crazy, it's rude, it's self-absorbed, but, uh, you know, it's love."

• (Ben Affleck) "Can I explain the audience principle to you? If you insult and accost them, then we have no audience."
• (Jason Lee) "He started it. f***ing cock-knocker. He's lucky I didn't put my pen through his thorax."

• (Ben Affleck) "So what did you do last night?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Got laid."

• (Ben Affleck) "You seemed weirded out back there."
• (Jason Lee) "That was my couch you were f***ing on."
• (Ben Affleck) "Sorry."
• (Jason Lee) "I wanted to watch some T.V. Hard to do when your best friend's wrapped around his naked rug muncher on your couch."
• (Ben Affleck) "She had boxers on."

• (Ben Affleck) "Okay, I've had my finger up my ass. I wouldn't say I've had anal sex."

• (Ben Affleck) "I suppose you're both wondering why I asked you over here tonight."
• (Jason Lee) "I just figured you'd wanna tell her to f*** off with me here so you wouldn't have to go through the story again later."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "f*** you"
• (Jason Lee) "Not even if you let me videotape it"
• (Ben Affleck) "I'm only going to tell you this once. Shut up."

• (Ben Affleck) "What's up? I'm about to get on a train."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Oh, why?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Last minute invite to the Boston Cup."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "s***."
• (Ben Affleck) "What?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Well my sister's at my parents and I was gonna go see her."
• (Ben Affleck) "The one that wrote the book?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Yeah. But I was staying all weekend, I wanted to hang out with you. This sucks."
• (Ben Affleck) "You know, umm -- both of us don't have to go."
• (Ben Affleck) "Really?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Yeah. Banky can do this by himself. And you know, it's not like we're on panels. It's just a signing appearance."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "If you come and pick me up, I'll be your best friend."
• (Ben Affleck) "Where's your apartment?"

Jason Lee as Banky Edwards

• (Jason Lee) "How should I sign this?"
• (Casey Affleck) "I don't want you to sign it, man. I want the guy that draws Bluntman and Chronic to sign it."
• (Casey Affleck) "You're just a tracer."
• (Scott Mosier) "Tell him, little shaver."

• (Jason Lee) "Everybody has an agenda, alright? Everyone."

• (Jason Lee) "All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'."

• (Jason Lee) "And then, Black Beauty couldn't take it any longer and he finally did some of his own mounting."

• (Jason Lee) "You gotta handle it like CNN and the Weather Channel: constant updates."

• (Jason Lee) "What the f*** is going on here?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I'm starting a new page?"
• (Jason Lee) "Not with this s***, with you. What the f*** is going on with you and that girl?"
• (Ben Affleck) "We're just friends."
• (Jason Lee) "She's programming you."
• (Ben Affleck) "I beg your pardon? Programming?"
• (Jason Lee) "Yeah, and apparently you don't even f***ing realize it."

• (Jason Lee) "This is all gonna end badly."

• (Jason Lee) "Holden."
• (Ben Affleck) "What?"
• (Jason Lee) "Let's go."
• (Ben Affleck) "You see that dent in the hood of your car?"
• (Jason Lee) "Son of a bitch."

• (Jason Lee) "You're way too conservative for that girl. She's been around and seen things we've only read about in books."

• (Jason Lee) "I feel a hate crime coming on."

• (Jason Lee) "Archie is not f***ing Mr. Weatherbee."

• (Jason Lee) "I just have to get something."
• (Ben Affleck) "Look, man, we miss this train, I'm gonna s***can you and just hire Charles Schulz."
• (Ben Affleck) "Oh my God. Who are you, Larry f***ing Flynt? What are you gonna do with all of those?"
• (Jason Lee) "Read the articles. What do you think I'm gonna do with them? They're stroke books, stupid."
• (Ben Affleck) "You've got like thirty books there. We're only going to be gone for two days."
• (Jason Lee) "Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do, sometimes; not often, but sometimes; I like the idea of a chick with a horse."

• (Jason Lee) "Bring on the free hooch."

• (Jason Lee) "How was your pseudo date?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Leave it alone."
• (Jason Lee) "That chick bugs me."
• (Ben Affleck) "No, everyone bugs you."

• (Jason Lee) "Now that, my friend, is a shared moment."

• (Jason Lee) "I'm going to prove to you beyond the shadow of a doubt that Archie is all about p*****."

Dwight Ewell as Hooper

• (Dwight Ewell) "I think it's more like Banky's having a real problem with all things not hetero right about now."

• (Dwight Ewell) "So what if it is true? Does it bother you?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Sex with multiple partners? At the same time?"

• (Dwight Ewell) "Men need to believe that they're Marco f***ing Polo when it comes to sex."

• (Dwight Ewell) "Here."
• (Jason Lee) "What?"
• (Dwight Ewell) "I want you to go down to the corner store, and buy yourself a clue."

• (Dwight Ewell) "Screw that "all for one" s***, alright? I gotta deal with being a minority in a minority of the minority, and nobody's supportin' my ass."

• (Dwight Ewell) "Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why Jughead wears that crown-looking hat all the time. He the king of queen Archie's world."

• (Dwight Ewell) "See that man right there? He the Devil, understand? Never take your eye off the man."

• (Dwight Ewell) "Ooh, Yanni."

• (Dwight Ewell) "Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this s***: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god."
• (Jason Lee) "What's a Nubian?"
• (Dwight Ewell) "Shut the f*** up. Now -- Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good s***. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the f***in' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the f*** do you call that?"
• (Jason Lee) "Intergalactic civil war?"
• (Dwight Ewell) "Gentrification. They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment. Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man. They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white."
• (Jason Lee) "Well, isn't that true?"

• (Dwight Ewell) "So where's your better half?"
• (Jason Lee) "Takin' a piss. The guy's got a bladder like an infant."
• (Dwight Ewell) "That's funny. He says you're hung like an infant."
• (Jason Lee) "Does his mother tell him everything?"

Jason Mewes as Jay

• (Jason Mewes) "What's that s*** he's got us saying?"
• (Silent Bob) "Oh, umm -- "Snootchie Bootchies.""
• (Jason Mewes) "Snootchie Bootchies. Who the f*** talks like that? That is f***ing baby talk."

• (Jason Mewes) "Kick her to the f***in' curb, man. Bitches get to be too much trouble. There's always the band --"
• (Jason Mewes) "-- of the hand."

• (Jason Mewes) "So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I'm just, ahh, I'm just havin' a little girl trouble."
• (Jason Mewes) "Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot."

• (Silent Bob) "So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don't wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bulls***. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him -- how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah -- and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. M&eacutenage; à trois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God's sake."
• (Jason Mewes) "Saint s***head."
• (Silent Bob) "Do something."
• (Silent Bob) "So I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like -- I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm -- I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, "What the f*** is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk."
• (Jason Mewes) "f***in' A."
• (Silent Bob) "No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn't hate her. I wasn't disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like -- like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was -- she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I've spent every day since then chasing Amy -- so to speak."

• (Jason Mewes) "Until then, keep your unit on you."
• (Ben Affleck) "I'll try."
• (Silent Bob) "No, no. "Do or do not. There is no try.""
• (Jason Mewes) "Knock that s*** off, we got a bus to catch. Jedi bitch."

• (Jason Mewes) "You gotta boil it down to the essentials. It's like Cube says, "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money.""
• (Ben Affleck) "Thanks, guys. Just what I needed. Advice from the 'hood."

• (Jason Mewes) "Man, why do you always have to tell that f***ing gay story for?"
• (Silent Bob) "Shut up."
• (Jason Mewes) "You shut up, you fat f***."

• (Jason Mewes) "Holy f***ing s***. Finger Cuffs? You're dating Finger Cuffs, you silly son of a bitch?"

• (Jason Mewes) "Bitch tasted life, yo, now she's settlin' for your boring, funny-book-makin' ass."

• (Jason Mewes) "Yo -- look at this morose motherf***er here. Smells like someone s*** in his cereal. Bonnnggggggg."
• (Ben Affleck) "Man, what took you guys so long? Where were you at the mall again?"
• (Jason Mewes) "Bitch don't even start, alright. We stopped that s*** years ago. Toss the salad."

Scott Mosier as Tory

• (Scott Mosier) "You're mucking with a G, you f***in' tracer."
• (Jason Lee) "I'll trace a chalk line around your dead f***ing body, you f***."
• (Ben Affleck) "Will you get him out of here."
• (Scott Mosier) "Hey wait a second. He jumped me, you f***ing tracer."
• (Jason Lee) "YOUR MOTHER'S A TRACER."

• (Scott Mosier) "Another one bites the dust."

Joey Lauren Adams as Alyssa

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Let me ask you a question. Can men f*** each other?"
• (Jason Lee) "What, are you asking for my permission?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "In your estimation."
• (Jason Lee) "Sure."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "So, for you, to f*** is to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition. You inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing that bored look in her eyes."
• (Jason Lee) "Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes, alright?"

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "f***ing is not limited to penetration, Banky. For me it describes any sex, when it's not totally about love. I don't love Kim, but I'll f*** her. I'm sure you don't love every girl you sleep with."
• (Jason Lee) "Some of them I downright loathe."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "She is such a c***."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Are you an authorized dealmaker in this establishment? Do you have the power to negotiate?"
• (Cashier) "You wanna haggle over the price of your French Dip?"

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Why are we stopping?"
• (Ben Affleck) "'Cause I can't take this."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Can't take what?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I love you."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "You love me?"
• (Ben Affleck) "I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the-the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is-is-is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't-I can't look into your eyes without feeling that-that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship; no pun intended; but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I-I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just; you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this f***ing planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which; while I do appreciate it; I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "So, you've never been curious about men?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I remember those guys used to come over to my house almost everyday after school. They'd bug my sisters, look through my dad's closet for porno tapes, raid the fridge. They really took advantage of my parents never being home. This one day, Rick pulled his dick out and started chasing me around the house with it. Right in front of Cohee, man. I couldn't believe it."
• (Ben Affleck) "Rick pulled his dick out? Really? What did you do?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I blew him while Cohee f***ed me."
• (Ben Affleck) "Excuse me?"
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? That's what this little cross-examination of yours is all about? God. Well, next time, try not to make it so obvious, alright? There's subtler ways of badgering a witness. Am I right?"
• (Bystander) "Jeez, man. Even I knew what you were getting at."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "If you wanted some background information on me, Holden, all you had to do was ask. I would have gladly volunteered it. You didn't have to go playing Hercule-f***ing-Poirot."
• (Bystander) "I told you these were good seats."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I like you, Holden. I haven't liked a man in a long time. And it's not because I'm a man hater or something like that. It's just been sometime that I've been exposed to a man that didn't immediately live into a stereotype of some sort. And I want you to feel comfortable with me, because I'd really like us to be friends."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "How bad could it have been?"
• (Ben Affleck) "Well, have you ever seen a nun call a small child a f***ing c*** rag?"

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "And this is where you take straight chicks on dates."
• (Ben Affleck) "What, are you kidding? This place is like Spanish Fly. This'll probably be the first time I don't score afterwards."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I don't know, I'm starting to feel a tingle in my bottom."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "I love you, I always will. Know that. But I'm not your f***ing whore."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "Since most of these people are rooting for the home team, I'm gonna cheer for the visitors. I'm a big visitors fan. Especially the kind that make coffee for ya in the morning before they go."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "One minute, five seconds; you are such my bitch."

• (Joey Lauren Adams) "You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you; it's so rare. My parents didn't really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn't. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy."
• (Ben Affleck) "Still am."
• (Joey Lauren Adams) "And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference."
• (Ben Affleck) "Well, can I at least tell people all you needed was some serious deep dicking?"

Ethan Suplee as Fan

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