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Charlie Wilson's War (film) Quotes

Charlie Wilson's War (film) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Charlie Wilson's War ended in 1970.

It features Tom Hanks as producer, James Newton Howard in charge of musical score, and Stephen Goldblatt as head of cinematography.

Charlie Wilson's War (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Charlie Wilson's War (film) is 100 minutes long. Charlie Wilson's War (film) is distributed by Universal Studios.

The cast includes: Philip Seymour Hoffman as Gust Avrakotos, Tom Hanks as Charlie Wilson, Julia Roberts as Joanne Herring, Christopher Denham as Zvi, Peter Gerety as Larry Liddle, and Amy Adams as Bonnie Bach.

Charlie Wilson's War (film) Quotes

Philip Seymour Hoffman as Gust Avrakotos

  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Excuse me, what the f***?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yeah, well I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which you're a douche bag?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "It's called the Milan Anti-Tank Missile."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Can the Afghans win without it?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "No."
  • (Tom Hanks) "End of discussion."
  • (Cravely) "I'm sorry but you can hardly blame the director for questioning the loyalty to America of people that are barely Americans in the first place."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yeah, well, I'd like to take a moment to review the several ways in which you're a douchebag."
  • (Cravely) "Get the f*** out of my office before I end your career, asshole."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yes, sir."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yeah, my friend, I'm gonna need you for a second."
  • (Cravely) "god**** it."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "My loyalty? For 24 years people have been trying to kill me. People who know how. Now, do you think that's because my dad was a Greek soda pop maker? Or do you think it's because Im an American spy? Go f*** yourself, you f***ing child."
  • (Cravely) "You tell me to go f*** myself and I'm supposed to apologize. You break my window, I'm supposed to apologize?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "The Helsinki job was mine."
  • (Cravely) "The Helsinki job was not yours. If it was yours, you'd be in Helsinki."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Alan Wolfe stood in this office --"
  • (Cravely) "Alan Wolfe is no longer the director --"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "It was on the books."
  • (Cravely) "Alan Wolfe is no longer the director of European Operations. He does not make those appointments. I do."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Promises were made."
  • (Cravely) "Not by me."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I've been with the company for 24 years. I was posted in Greece for 15. Papandreou wins that election if I don't help the Junta take him prisoner. I've advised and armed the Hellenic Army. I've neutralized champions of Communism. I've spent the past 3 years learning Finnish which should come in handy here in Virginia. And I'm never ever sick at sea. So I wanna know why I'm not gonna be your Helsinki Station Chief."
  • (Cravely) "You're coarse."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Excuse me?"
  • (Cravely) "For Helsinki I need someone with diplomatic skills. You don't have them."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Is that right?"
  • (Cravely) "That is right. And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my f***ing window."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "The Swiss-made Oerlikon STA antiaircraft cannon; that's what you'd use to shoot down an Mi-24 HIND gunship in the mountains, right."
  • (Mike Vickers) "Well, the Oerlikon's a good start, but the Russians would just start flying higher-altitude missions."
  • (Tom Hanks) "So what else do they need?"
  • (Mike Vickers) "Same thing they'd give us: AK-47s, AK-74s, AKMS. The Soviets didn't come into Afghanistan on a Eurail pass, they came in T-55 tanks. The fighters need RPG-7 antitank grenade launchers, Katyusha 170-millimeter rockets, wire mines, plastic mines, bicycle bombs, sniper rifles, ammunition for all of the above, and frequency-hopping radios and burst transmitters so these guys aren't so f***ing easy to find. I've written it all in a report you can read; you'd be the first one who did."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Promises were made."
  • (Cravely) "Not by me."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I've been with the company for twenty-four years. I was posted in Greece for fifteen. I've advised and armed the Hellenic Army. I've neutralized champions of communism. I've spent the past three years -- learning Finnish. Which would come in handy here in Virginia, and I'm never ever sick at sea. So I wanna know why -- I'm not gonna be your Helsinki station chief."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I'm reading transcripts of phone conversations between French and German generals arguing over office space at NATO headquarters, and analysing wire-taps out of Mercury Bay, New Zealand. You know, historically, a hotbed of anti-American activity."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "There's this story of the Old Zen Master --"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "You know, me and three other guys are killing Russians. Is it possible that I met the only elected official in town who can help me?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Until the phone rang this morning Charlie, I did not know I never heard of you."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, ask around."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I did."
  • (Tom Hanks) "What'd you find out?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "That your greatest legislative achievement in six terms, is getting reelected five times."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Anything else?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "That you hold more IOU's than any member of the House."
  • (Tom Hanks) "How about that."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "As long as the press sees sex and drugs behind the left hand, you can park a battle carrier behind the right hand and no one's gonna f***ing notice."
  • (Cravely) "And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my f***ing window."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Oh yes sure you do Cravely."
  • (Cravely) "Look Gust."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yeah you're f***ing Roger's fiance, and you know I know."
  • (Cravely) "I'm not -- I'm not -- I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Yeah yeah, you're dignifying her in the ass, at the Jefferson Hotel, Room 1210, but let me ask you, the 3000 agents Turner fired, was that because they lacked diplomatic skills as well?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "How was I?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "-- Thank-you."

Tom Hanks as Charlie Wilson

  • (Tom Hanks) "Do you drink, Mr. Avrakotos?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Oh God yes."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, then, should we try some of this scotch, or is it going to release Sarin gas?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Well, I don't think so, but do me a favor and open it over there"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, Jesus, Donnelly. Everyone in town knows I'm on the other side of that issue."
  • (Donnelly) "Ethics?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Yeah."
  • (Charlie's Angel #4) "The Washington Post wants to know what you thought of your time in rehab."
  • (Tom Hanks) "And what did you tell them?"
  • (Charlie's Angel #4) "That the Congressman didn't go to rehab because they don't serve whiskey there."
  • (Tom Hanks) "That's why you're my press secretary, boo-boo."
  • (Tom Hanks) "First off, I'd appreciate it if you didn't throw my name around quite so much, because from time to time I use it myself, and I need it in good condition."
  • (Tom Hanks) "How old are you?"
  • (Mike Vickers) "I'll be 30 next week."
  • (Tom Hanks) "This is CIA's weapons expert?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "One of them."
  • (Tom Hanks) "But he's the most senior."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Look --"
  • (Chess Player #1) "Mike."
  • (Mike Vickers) "Yeah, bishop to queen's knight 7."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "See, he's playing without even looking at the board."
  • (Tom Hanks) "That's a useful skill -- if Afghanistan's ever invaded by Boris Spassky."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Soon God will be on both sides of this War."
  • (Tom Hanks) "What's the gift for?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "It's from the Afghan desk for doubling the budget for the Mujahadeen."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, thank you."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "It was nothing."
  • (Tom Hanks) "It's a nice bottle of scotch. Must have been hard to get."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "No, doubling the budget was nothing. Ten million dollars for covert ops against the Russian army is meaningless. What are you, an infant?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "I cannot just call up a judge and tell him what to do."
  • (Peter Gerety) "Why?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well cause it's against -- a s***load of really good laws Garry --"
  • (Tom Hanks) "You know you've reached rock bottom when you're told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup."
  • (Tom Hanks) "These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world -- and then we f***ed up the endgame."
  • (President Zia) "Pakistan and Israel would have to appear to be enemies in the public eye."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Yeah, I don't think that's a tough sell."
  • (President Zia) "Do you have the authority to do this?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "No, I'm actually in danger of breaking the Logan Act."
  • (President Zia) "-- I don't know what that is."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Who is running the thing? Who is the prosecutor?"
  • (Charlie's Angels - Suzanne) "Uh -- Rudolph Giuliani, New York, Southern District."
  • (Amy Adams) "Do you know him?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "No."
  • (Tom Hanks) "By the way, I love Jesus Christ and his mother Mary as much as anybody. About 38 churches you could move that creche to, everybody lives."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Joanne Herring: "I miss you Charlie." Charlie Wilson: "Oh Joanne -- I always miss you.""
  • (Tom Hanks) "I stood in Harold Holt's office in Islamabad, and I offered him the keys to the safe. I said to him, "What do you need?" And I was apparently annoying him."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Well, that's because Harold Holt is a tool. He's a cake-eater, he's a clown, he's a bad station chief, and I don't like to cast aspersions on a guy, but he's going to get us all killed."
  • (Unnamed) "Who wants to build a school in Pakistan?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Afghanistan."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Jailbait."
  • (President Zia) "I don't need courtesy. I need airplanes, guns and money."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, we just doubled the CIA's budget for covert ops."
  • (Brigadier Rashid) "From five million to ten million."
  • (Tom Hanks) "That's right."
  • (Colonel Mahmood) "Is that a joke?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "No."
  • (Brigadier Rashid) "Is that meant to be a funny joke?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "No sir."
  • (President Zia) "Congressman, what they are saying is that ten million dollars from the United States to fight the Russian army is such a low figure that it can be mistaken for a joke."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I -- I caught on to the sarcasm, sir."
  • (Tom Hanks) "This thing is going to get done by the CIA and it's going to get done quietly."
  • (President Zia) "You have authority to do this?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "None what so ever."

Julia Roberts as Joanne Herring

  • (Julia Roberts) "Are you Catholic, Mr. Avrakatos?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Greek Orthodox."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Still a Christian, though."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Imagine my relief."
  • (Julia Roberts) "What's your problem with me?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "You know, I've found, in my business, that when people with time on their hands get involved in politics, I start forgetting who I'm supposed to be shooting at."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Sluts."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Go fight this war, Charlie. Everything possible is on the line; including your manhood."
  • (Julia Roberts) "I mean, how did you get into the CIA?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I don't work for the CIA, I work for the Department of Agriculture."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Fruit and Plant Division?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "More specifically, apple imports"
  • (Julia Roberts) "She doesn't like me."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Everybody likes you."
  • (Julia Roberts) "She's a liberal."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I'm a liberal."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Not where it counts."
  • (Julia Roberts) "He may be in trouble with the press, but he stayed out of jail. You don't see God's hand in this?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Well reasonable people can disagree, but I don't see God anywhere within miles of this. On the other hand, if you slept with me tonight, I bet you I could change my mind in a hurry."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Charlie, I want you to defeat the Soviet Union, and end the Cold War."
  • (Tom Hanks) "O-K."
  • (Julia Roberts) "Why is Congress saying one thing and doing nothing?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Well, tradition mostly."
  • (Julia Roberts) "May I ask what it is that I've done to make you dislike me, Mr. Avrakotos?"
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "I like you just fine, Mrs. Herring, it's just been my experience that when people with money and too much free time get involved in politics, pretty soon, I forget who it is I'm supposed to be shooting at."

Christopher Denham as Zvi

  • (Christopher Denham) "You want me to steer Israel towards an arms deal with Egypt, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "Yes."
  • (Christopher Denham) "Well, just one or two problems with that, just off the top of my head."
  • (Tom Hanks) "Zvi --"
  • (Christopher Denham) "Afghanistan and Pakistan don't recognize our right to exist, we just got done fighting a war against Egypt, and everyone who has ever tried to kill me or my family has been trained in Saudi Arabia."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "That's not true, Zvi. Some of them were trained by us."
  • (Christopher Denham) "I love you, Charlie, but you are a grown man who still hasn't learned to look both ways before he crosses the f***ing street."
  • (Christopher Denham) "Alright, I'll help you."
  • (Christopher Denham) "But I don't like this guy."
  • (Tom Hanks) "I know exactly how you feel."
  • (Christopher Denham) "This meeting it going to be run professional."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "Oh absolutely. We're going to be talking to the Deputy Defense Minister while his boss gets a belly dance from a friend of Charlie's."
  • (Christopher Denham) "What?"
  • (Tom Hanks) "A friend of mine is a well known belly dances in Texas. It's always been her dream to perform in Egypt, so she's our way in. While she's dancing for the Defense Minister, we'll be talking to the deputy."
  • (Christopher Denham) "Oh my God."
  • (Philip Seymour Hoffman) "No, she's supposed to be pretty good"

Peter Gerety as Larry Liddle

  • (Peter Gerety) "Miss?"
  • (Charlie's Angel #1) "Yes sir?"
  • (Peter Gerety) "It seems to me lookin' around, that it's almost all women workin' here; and that they're all very pretty. Is that common?"
  • (Charlie's Angel #1) "Well -- Congressman Wilson, he has an expression. He says uhh, "You can teach 'em to type, but you can't teach 'em to grow tits.""
  • (Peter Gerety) "Well, that's -- charming."

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