Catch-22 (film) Quotes

Catch-22 (film) is a television show that first aired in 1970 . Catch-22 completed its run in 1970.

It features John Calley as producer, Richard Strauss in charge of musical score, and David Watkin (cinematographer) as head of cinematography.

Catch-22 (film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Catch-22 (film) is 122 minutes long. Catch-22 (film) is distributed by Paramount Pictures.

The cast includes: Orson Welles as General Dreedle, Alan Arkin as Yossarian, Jack Gilford as Dr. 'Doc' Daneeka, Richard Benjamin as Danby, Anthony Perkins as Tappman, Martin Balsam as Colonel Cathcart, Bob Newhart as Maj. Major Major Major, and Norman Fell as First Sgt. Towser.

Catch-22 (film) Quotes

Alan Arkin as Yossarian

• (Alan Arkin) "Those bastards are trying to kill me."
• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy."
• (Alan Arkin) "Oh yeah? Then why are they shooting at me Milo?"
• (Dobbs) "They're shooting at everyone Yossarian."
• (Alan Arkin) "And what difference does that make?"
• (Dobbs) "Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose everyone thought the same way you do."
• (Alan Arkin) "Then I'd be a damn fool to think any different."

• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "We're gonna come out of this war rich."
• (Alan Arkin) "You're gonna come out rich. We're gonna come out dead."

• (Dobbs) "Help him. Help him."
• (Alan Arkin) "Help who?"
• (Dobbs) "Help the bombardier."
• (Alan Arkin) "I'm the bombardier, I'm all right."
• (Dobbs) "Then help HIM, help HIM."

• (Alan Arkin) "He was very old."
• (Luciana) "But he was a boy."
• (Alan Arkin) "Well, he died. You don't get any older than that."

• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "Nately died a wealthy man, Yossarian. He had over sixty shares in the syndicate."
• (Alan Arkin) "What difference does that make? He's dead."
• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "Then his family will get it."
• (Alan Arkin) "He didn't have time to have a family."
• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "Then his parents will get it."
• (Alan Arkin) "They don't need it, they're rich."
• (1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder) "Then they'll understand."

• (Alan Arkin) "Is Orr crazy?"
• (Jack Gilford) "Of course he is. He has to be crazy to keep flying after all the close calls he's had."
• (Alan Arkin) "Why can't you ground him?"
• (Jack Gilford) "I can, but first he has to ask me."
• (Alan Arkin) "That's all he's gotta do to be grounded?"
• (Jack Gilford) "That's all."
• (Alan Arkin) "Then you can ground him?"
• (Jack Gilford) "No. Then I cannot ground him."
• (Alan Arkin) "Aah."
• (Jack Gilford) "There's a CATCH?"
• (Alan Arkin) "A catch?"
• (Jack Gilford) "Sure. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat isn't really crazy, so I can't ground him."
• (Alan Arkin) "Ok, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to be grounded, I've got to be crazy. And I must be crazy to keep flying. But if I ask to be grounded, that means I'm not crazy anymore, and I have to keep flying."
• (Jack Gilford) "You got it, that's Catch-22."
• (Alan Arkin) "Whoo -- That's some catch, that Catch-22."
• (Jack Gilford) "It's the best there is."

• (Alan Arkin) "The only friend I had was Snowden and I didn't know him."

• (Alan Arkin) "I am the most renowned killer of fish in the whole United States Army Air Force."

Orson Welles as General Dreedle

• (Orson Welles) "Get back in the car, you smirking slut."

Bob Newhart as Maj. Major Major Major

• (Bob Newhart) "Sergeant, from now on, I don't want anyone to come in and see me while I'm in my office. Is that clear?"
• (Norman Fell) "Yes, sir. What do I say to people who want to come in and see you while you're in your office?"
• (Bob Newhart) "Tell them I'm in and ask them to wait."
• (Norman Fell) "For how long?"
• (Bob Newhart) "Until I've left."
• (Norman Fell) "And then what do I do with them?"
• (Bob Newhart) "I don't care."
• (Norman Fell) "May I send people in to see you after you've left?"
• (Bob Newhart) "Yes."
• (Norman Fell) "You won't be here then, will you?"
• (Bob Newhart) "No."
• (Norman Fell) "I see, sir. Will that be all?"
• (Bob Newhart) "Also, Sergeant, I don't want you coming in while I'm in my office asking me if there's anything you can do for me. Is that clear?"
• (Norman Fell) "Yes, sir. When should I come in your office and ask if there's anything I can do for you?"
• (Bob Newhart) "When I'm not there."
• (Norman Fell) "What do I do then?"
• (Bob Newhart) "Whatever has to be done."
• (Norman Fell) "Yes, sir."

• (Bob Newhart) "Is something wrong?"
• (Anthony Perkins) "No, no. I -- just thought I saw something."
• (Bob Newhart) "A naked man in a tree?"
• (Anthony Perkins) "Yes, that's it."
• (Richard Benjamin) "That's just Yossarian."

Martin Balsam as Colonel Cathcart

• (Martin Balsam) "You're a disgrace. I'd like to know how you got to be a Captain, anyway."
• (Alan Arkin) "You promoted me."
• (Martin Balsam) "That has got nothing to do with it."

• (Lt. Col. Korn, XO) "All you have to do is be our pal."
• (Martin Balsam) "Say nice things about us."
• (Lt. Col. Korn, XO) "Tell the folks at home what a good job we're doing. Take our offer Yossarian."
• (Martin Balsam) "Either that or a court-martial for desertion."

• (Martin Balsam) "What are you doing, Yossarian. Get off the field."
• (Martin Balsam) "I wanna' see you later. You're confined to the base. I won't forget this."
• (Alan Arkin) "I don't think the Air Force is gonna' forget about this."
• (Martin Balsam) "Don't be ridiculous. What's good for M&M; Enterprises is good for the Air Force. We had to get rid of that cotton. The Germans promised to take it off our hands, if we ran this mission for them. It's all part of the deal."
• (Lt. Col. Korn, XO) "There goes the Officer's Club."
• (Alan Arkin) "You made a deal with the Germans to bomb our own base?"
• (Martin Balsam) "A contract is a contract. That's what we're fighting for."

Richard Benjamin as Danby

• (Richard Benjamin) "Yossarian."
• (Alan Arkin) "I can do it, Danby."
• (Anthony Perkins) "They'll catch you, they'll bring you back."
• (Alan Arkin) "I can do it."
• (Richard Benjamin) "This is insane."
• (Alan Arkin) "I can do it."
• (Anthony Perkins) "What about your clothes?"
• (Alan Arkin) "They'll never recognize me without my uniform."
• (Richard Benjamin) "You'll be on the run with no friends. You'll live in constant danger of betrayal."
• (Alan Arkin) "I live that way now."
• (Richard Benjamin) "Yossarian, for God's sake, hurry up."
• (Alan Arkin) "So long, Chaplain."
• (Anthony Perkins) "How do you feel, Yossarian?"
• (Alan Arkin) "Fine -- because I'm scared to death."
• (Richard Benjamin) "You'll have to keep on your toes every minute."
• (Alan Arkin) "I'll keep on my toes."
• (Anthony Perkins) "You'll have to jump."
• (Alan Arkin) "I'll jump."
• (Anthony Perkins) "JUMP."

• (Richard Benjamin) "Weather conditions have improved tremendously over the mainland, so you won't have any trouble at all seeing the target. Of course, we mustn't forget, that means that they won't have any trouble at all seeing you."

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