Back to Reality (Red Dwarf) Quotes

Back to Reality (Red Dwarf) is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Back to Reality stopped airing in 1970.

Back to Reality (Red Dwarf) Quotes

• (Lister) "It's got three alternatives; it thinks we're either a threat, food or mate. It's either gonna kill us, eat us or hump us. Either we try to persuade it that we're not that kind of oceanic salvage vessel, or we scarper pronto."
• (The Cat) "And be diddled by a squid on a first date? Think of how I would be in the morning."

• (Rimmer) "I know that, emotionally speaking, this isn't the news you want to hear right now. But there's a blob on the sonar scope the size of New Mexico and it's heading your way."
• (Holly) "I think our friend the Suicide Squid is about to put in an appearance."
• (Kryten) "Where is it, precisely?"
• (Rimmer) "Directly above you. 2,000 fathoms and diving."
• (Lister) "Oh, thanks a lot, Rimmer. You know the state we're in and you have to go and give us news like that. You couldn't have lied ?"
• (Rimmer) "I was lying. It's only 1,000 fathoms."

• (Rimmer) "This is a nightmare. I'm on the run from the Fascist Police with a murderer, a mass murderer and a man in a Bri-Nylon shirt."

• (The Cat) "No, no. I don't want to be Duane Dibbley."

• (The Cat) "What the hell happened to my teeth? I could open beer bottles with my overbite."

• (Rimmer) "Kryten, open the next one."
• (Kryten) "Listen, whoever you are, don't push your luck by ordering whoever I am around, because almost certainly, whoever I am, I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna take any crap from whoever you are. So before you start ordering me around, let's establish if I'm the kind of guy who doesn't mind being ordered around or if I'm the kind of guy who gets all uptight about being ordered around by whatever the kind of guy you are."
• (Rimmer) "All I said was open the next one."

• (Duane Dibbley) "So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth the Druids could use as a place of worship?"

• (Cop) "Come out of the shadows, Voter."
• (Sebastian Doyle) "What's the beef? Did she steal your lunch box?"
• (Cop) "M -- mm -- many apologies, Voter Colonel."
• (Sebastian Doyle) "You know me?"
• (Cop) "Of course, Voter Colonel."
• (Sebastian Doyle) "Who am I?"
• (Cop) "You are Colonel Sebastian Doyle, Section Chief of CGI, Head of the Ministry of Alteration."
• (Sebastian Doyle) "Remind me a little: what do we do at the Ministry of Alteration?"
• (Cop) "You -- change people, Sir."
• (Sebastian Doyle) "In what way?"
• (Cop) "You change them from being alive people, to being dead people. To purify Democracy."
• (Billy Doyle) "Purify?"
• (Cop) "No one has done more to purge the ballot boxes than the Voter Colonel."
• (Duane Dibbley) "So why has he been away for 4 years then?"
• (Cop) "Excuse me, Voter Colonel, but is this some sort of test?"
• (Sebastian Doyle) "Answer him."
• (Cop) "The rumour was that you had grown weary of your glorious duties and had gone away in secret to renew yourself."

Add or Update Quotes

If you have a quote to add or change and want to let us know, please fill in the form below. Include the time in the film/video if possible so we can find it.